HARE GUIDE 

This guideline is intended for both new and old brain dead hashers attempting to lay a trail to be remembered.  

If you want to have fun, drink beer, and enjoy the camaraderie of your fellow hashers, put some effort into the "Trail". 

Help ensure your trail is remembered as "a damn fine 'Shitty' trail".

SCOUTING

Invest some time for planning the starting point, the route, and ending location of your trail. 

Trespassing through private property should be avoided unless permission is granted. 

Police and open consumption of beer do not mix. 

Try to avoid lengthy straight stretches (especially of pavement); it's boring and too much like real exercise for the average Hasher. 

Plan your intersections, bad trails, back checks, true trail arrows, special maps/instructions, and chicken/eagle splits. Please don't forget the beer check(s)! Hares are responsible for arranging a means for the Beer Check cooler(s) to get to the Beer Check. The Beer Meister will provide the cooler(s) full of libations along with "el cheapo" plastic vessels at the start of the hash. 

TRAIL LENGTH

Make your trail a reasonable distance! A long trail isn't necessarily a good trail! Plan a true trail about 2 to 5 miles with the duration of 45 minutes to one hour. The runners will run further as they solve and mark intersections, back checks, maps, riddles, etc., and the slower hashers will be able to follow true trail and therefore get to the end without it seeming like a time warp has occurred.

Do not measure your length (of trail, that is) using a road map. That method invariably causes trail to be longer than anticipated. Run and time yourself on True Trail prior to the Hash and then do a little math (depending on your pace) to extrapolate the distance and/or time. The average Hasher will meander down trail at a whopping 10 minutes per mile, and lots of heavy shiggy will slow the pace even further. 

PARKING

The start location should provide adequate parking for the anticipated number of Hashers. Ask the Hash-Cash or GM how many hashers to plan for if the start has a limited parking capacity and find another location if parking is going to be a pain in the arse. 

FLOUR & CHALK

Hares provide the flour for laying trail. It should be thrown with wild abandon by the fistfuls, not in pinches hidden strategically along the trail. Two hares will normally use a minimum of 10 pounds of flour per trail unless there is lots 'o shiggy. A trail through heavy shiggy (no routinely trodden path) must be marked much more often for the pack to follow it. Consider "pre-laying" an extra 5-pound bag at some point along your trail or with the beer check to replenish your hash supply if shiggy is your thing.

Chalk is provided for the pack by the chalk-meister at the beginning of the Hash.

The expense of the flour as well as the effort put forth by the Hares in designing and executing an alluring, fascinating, beguiling and seductive trail make it unnecessary for them to pay the Hash fee.  

PRE-LAYING

There is absolutely nothing wrong with pre-laying in the interest of making the trail more fun and interesting. You may be called into the circle for a down-down (Oh darn!) if it's painfully obvious that you unnecessarily pre-laid. Lone hares sometimes pre-lay the bad trails for their planned intersections or pre-lay a section of trail in order to bypass it during the hash. This allows them time to concentrate on laying a well-marked trail with copious numbers of intersections and bad trails. Pre-laying has also been done with hand-written or computer generated maps posted on doors, windows, trees, etc. to add some variety to the trail. JUST DO IT if you think it will enhance your trail!  

DOWN-DOWN VEHICLE

On A-to-B trails, Hares are responsible for arranging a designated vehicle to transport down-down bags, coolers, etc., to the down-down. For an outdoor down-down, ensure the driver has good directions so the BEER coolers arrive in a timely manner! Hell hath seen no fury greater than that of a thirsty Hasher at trail's end without beer - except of course that of a woman scorned. 

HARE SNARES

Don't worry about it! There will always be those shortcutting bastards that immediately deviate from your perfectly planned trail on a "search and snare" mission. Hares get snared from time to time, so remain focused on laying your trail as planned.

When snared, i.e. actually touched by a fellow Hasher while still laying a trail, the Hare(s) usually utter a few expletives as well as dole out a compliment, such as "Well done, you *ucking asshole" and then proceed to lay the remainder of their trail. The snarer(s) will mark the snare point with chalk and wait there for five minutes prior to resuming their quest. They will also brag with impassioned fervor of their sublime achievement to any other Hashers arriving at that location and hold them on station until the five-minute waiting period is over.  

SYMBOLOGY/SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS

At the beginning of every trail, the Resident A**hole (RA) will make sure that everyone on trail knows the markings of the pack. Standard marks are usually used, however, every kennel and hare has their own twist on an intersection.

When the Hare uses a non-standard symbol or has created a special symbol, elaborate profusely when the Hash Master/Mattress calls upon the hares for special instructions. It's considered standard that more than three consecutive hash dollops (smatterings, piles, blobs, splooches, whatever) indicate true trail. That by no means should deter Hares from laying a nice long bad trails should they desire, but if done they should be appropriately marked with a bad trail or a back check mark. The Hare could also announce during special instructions that "more than three don't mean doo-doo."

Another standard is that an intersection means true trail, therefore no intersections should be laid on a bad/false trail.

Swimming is another example of an event for which a special instruction should be announced. If there is a water crossing deep enough that those, um , height-challenged hashers may founder or that everyone will have to swim, then let it be known. Then those who may have a proclivity to drown can "long-cut" or cling to a savior.

Other items that should be announced:

• Chicken/Eagle Splits 

• Number of beer checks 

• Where the map/directions to the down-down will be located for those poor "lost on trail" souls 

• Any special considerations such as whether the trail has a location(s) where it may be prudent to not blow whistles (through hospitals, golf courses, & police stations, etc).

VEHICLE SHUTTLE

When the Hash is A to B, the Hares are responsible for organizing transportation back to the starting point either at the end of the down-down or before it begins. This can usually be accomplished with the vehicle used for the beer check.

Outdoors Down-Downs: Try to pick a legal venue. In the great Commonwealth of Virginia, that isn't easy because it's illegal to consume alcoholic beverages in public. That eliminates school grounds, playgrounds and most public parks as legal down-down locales, although they are among our favorites. To date we've only been chased out of these areas and haven't been fined. A private residence is the ideal locale, but in lieu of that, choose a venue that is out of the way, where we can't be seen by a lot of nosy people that will whip out their cell phone and call you-know-who.

Indoors Down-Downs: Find cozy or sleazy or grungy or nice pubs or bars or joints that will give us a break on beer and food prices and that have plenty of parking. Find out whether or not they have a bunch of rabid football or basketball fans that fill the place. Don't use it if that's the case unless they have a separate room or back area where we won't be intrusive to them or them to us. 

DOWN-DOWN LOCATION

Outdoor Down-Downs: The Hash Cash will reimburse the Hares for money spent on chow and related incidentals such as napkins, plastic ware and condiments. One way to ensure a good feed is to grill hotdogs, hamburgers, chicken or mystery meat. 

Or cook up a big 'ole batch of your favorite recipe, i.e. chili, spaghetti, etc., to serve up. Be sure to provide several assorted bags of crunchy stuff too. Victuals don't always have to consist of a cooked meal though. Snacks are an acceptable food for us to "feed our faces" after a little physical activity; after all, the intent is to get some food in our bellies before we imbibe heavily. Sometimes there is a "Snack-Meister" during the outdoor down-down season that will provide snackage. Should the Hare(s) be among the poor and wretched suffering masses, arrangements can be made to obtain some legal tender up front from Hash Cash to make food purchases. The "Beer-Meister" will provide the "nectar of the gods" for the beer check and the down-down. There are also non-alcoholic options for those that are not wanting to partake.

Indoor Down-Downs: Usually the Hare will strike a deal with a bar/pub that is hosting us, and once down-downs are complete, everyone is on their own tabs. For those at personal residence of the hare or other member being used for trail, the beer-meister will be providing beer as if it was an outdoor down-down.  

Follow the info herein, and your trail will be remembered by the pack as "a damn fine trail."