Sonnet 119
1. What potions have I drunk of Siren tears
2. Distill'd from Limbecks foul as hell within,
3. Applying fears to hopes, and hopes to fears,
4. Still losing when I saw myself to win?
5. What wretched errors hath my heart committed,
6. Whilst it hath thought itself so blessed never?
7. How have mine eyes out of their Spheres been fitted
8. In the distraction of this madding fever?
9. O benefit of ill, now I find true
10. That better is, by evil still made better.
11. And ruin'd love, when it is built anew
12. Grows fairer than at first, more strong, far greater.
13. So I return rebuked to my content,
14. And gain by ill thrice more than I have spent.
Thrice Gained
Dedication: To Elizabeth
Reflecting on his errors and the torment he has seen, and his continued dissatisfaction. Though he ends reflecting on the blessings he has in his own personal trinity of himself, Elizabeth and Henry.
1st Quatrain: (1-4)
Suffering the essence of hell and losing in this battle for recognition when I so believed that I must prevail (because it was so right)
2nd Quatrain: (5-8)
What things I have done when I thought I were only cursed (and didn't recognize the ways I was blessed i.e. you)
3rd Quatrain: (9-12)
That it is good that I suffered this ill so that our love is stronger than ever.
couplet (13-14),
So still I come back though you continue not to give me my satisfaction of recognition. The "thrice" gain of line 14 is a reference to himself, Elizabeth, and Henry which he still has though perhaps not the way he wants it.
Commentary:
The poet discusses the hell he has been through and a seeming reflection on a visit made to his subject which ends in failure to gain his objective. Of course the objective was the same as all of the other poems but the reflecting on his return is potentially an important clue. It clearly provides for the separation of the poet from his subject. It might be an oversight because later our poet will discuss his travel but he does not mention travel here as the reason for the separation.
While this sonnet may appear to be seen as too early in relationship for all that the poet discusses that he has been through, but in actuality it has all been related to the specific incident he has already mentioned and which will continue to be the focus of his work as we’ll see. Additionally there is also the return of the very emotional language describing how near and dear it is to the poet to gain his satisfaction. Such an obsession I would suggest deserves quite a story to justify it. Particularly when our poet has to have the mental capacity and emotional stability to be among the greatest dramatists the world has yet seen.
The argument and rebuke ties back to the prescriptions unfulfilled in 147 (Dark Lady sonnet) along with the prescriptions of the next sonnet. Of course once again this discussion resulting in the rebuke received strongly points to the connectedness of this to the whole of the sonnets. Which we must be reminded at this point are about the eternity of our dedicatee.
Line 7 expresses again how his vision is again affected this time by a maddening fever and line 10 is an effort to suggest that Henry is not only unharmed by her actions but actually made better.
Vendler comments on the multiple tenses, but doesn’t seem to understand that because in many ways the sonnet rehashes the story: The poet not getting his satisfaction; Loving that which is not to be loved; Having his sight apparently deceived; and the general madness of his ordeal. But the sonnet contains one new thought, that of Henry getting better despite the evil visited against him and that Oxford’s love for Elizabeth grows stronger.
1576 book "Jewell of Health" by George Baker and dedicated to Anne Cecil (Oxford's wife) features a title page picturing "Alchymia among her limbecks and furnaces". A lembeck being an apparatus used for distillation. Some thus believe a link to this sonnet. I only mention because of the corroboration of the dating. Chief among those who see a link is Stephen Booth who as Robert Brazil (Oxfordian) points out neglects to mention both the dedication and that George Baker was also Oxford's family physician.