My strange House

I grew up in another house, it is far away, full of memories I lived there for 18 years. when I decided to leave it behind and move, it did not feel wrong, it was like moving from a regular traditional house. I did not feel attached to it. I left it to live a new life, a different one. I wanted new memories I want a house that makes me excited to come home to I want a house that makes my jaw drop from its beauty. I said to myself that I will never get bored with it, I will love it so much.

It has been five years away from my childhood house in Jordan, I miss it so much. I have never thought I am going to ever miss it, but actually I miss every little detail in that house. I went to visit it after all these years, and when I first stepped foot in it, the memories hit me, and it felt like I see it for the very first time. I was so happy. I started going from one room to another, checking everything, opening the closets, drawers, kitchen cabinets, looking through the plates the spoons the cups everything to remember all the old memories. I went to see my old room which is now my little brother's room, I was looking around with my eyes full of tears, I have never looked at my room this way before, I miss it so much.

That's life and that's how the beginning of everything is always so exciting then this phase starts to fade away, leaving its memories scarred with us for a lifetime.

At the beginning of each new episode of our lives, we look at the things with eyes full of excitement, passion, and amazement. We look at things closely with an open heart and with happy feelings.

I remember 10 years ago when I first came to the united states, my relatives came to pick me up from the airport, I was excited yet nervous, and cannot wait to get to see my mysterious home. We arrived to this neighborhood with very beautiful houses, something I have never seen before.I was wondering if my house will be as beautiful as these houses. I kept looking out from the car window, I felt like I was in a dream or maybe watching a cartoon, it was like I am in heaven. We finally got home, my eyes were sparkling from how beautiful my house is, I was beyond excited to start my new life here.

I got off the car and started to look around at the neighborhood, the houses, the mailboxes, the cars, the nice clear sky, and the breathtaking big green oak trees, the neighborhood was full of them. Am I in a dream? if so, please do not wake me up.

Now I am hurrying up to go into the house. I stepped my foot through the doors. That is my house, that is my comfort zone. Here my new life will begin, it is my new beginning, my secrets and what is unknown.

Wow, how beautiful this house is, I like the guest room, I love the couches, and how clean the carpets are, how smooth the hardwood floor is. The house smells like vanilla. I kept walking around exploring and discovering every bit of it, going from room to room amused with what I am seeing. I went upstairs to see the bedrooms, I opened the curtains to see the view, I loved it so much I will never get tired of looking at the glory of the creator. I will love it forever.

Year after year, I started to get bored of what I see every day. The view in my room is so boring, if I ever open the curtains I feel like I live around the city noise. So many cars parked, weird buildings, people come in every morning to work from 8 to 5, and sometimes big semi-trucks come at night to unload products and goods to get them ready for the next morning, it is just so much noise. Curtains in any room can be very helpful they are like a lid for the jar, if I opened it anyone can see me and see what I'm doing, it is not just to save us from sunlight or dust ,it preserves our privacy. I like to open it on rainy days when it is gloomy and dark, I like to see the tree edges, it calms me down for some reason.

8 years passed by so fast made the feelings that I had when I first moved in disappear, even when I look back at some old pictures that I took for this place it does not feel the same, maybe due to a lack of punctum in them, since I am not a professional photographer. Ronald Barthes said: " Many photographs are, alas, inert under my gaze. But even among those which have some existence in my eyes, most provoke only a general and, so to speak, polite interest: they have no punctum in them: they please or displease me without pricking me: they are invested with no more than a stadium."(27). All that time made me see my house as something I only want to sleep in, and cannot wait to get out of, and see the outside, but despite all of that I still love it.

My room is where I live actually, it gets boring sometimes but I love it. I like to keep changing it around every now and then, by adding lights to the walls, by reorganizing it or by changing the beddings, that makes me feel better. In my room I drink my coffee in the morning, I watch tv, get ready for the day, talk on the phone and sleep then wake up for the next day and so on, that's my daily routine.

The kitchen is my favorite place at the house, it is my studying area also it is the place where food comes from, the kitchen is a very good collector, it is full of forks, spoons, cups, plates, snacks, medicine, spices, but they are all well organized and hidden in all of these cabinets and all of these drawers, that no one knows what are they carrying except who live in the house.

When I got a cat, he was so scared hiding in some weird places, it took him some time to get to know us but eventually, he started to come out and play. His favorite place to sit in and relax was either in the sink or on top of kitchen cabinets ,which is odd, but what it means is we all have a place that makes us feel happy and safe, no matter where it is and how it looks.

I spend most of my time at the house. I eat, drink, workout, watch movies. It is my comfort zone and where I feel safe. When the doors in my house are locked it feels like I am secure, and nothing can hurt me, even though we need a new front door and I feel like anyone can break in yet once it is locked I feel safe, because my house is my safe zone, I have this odd trust with where I live to the point where I stopped using the security alarm.

It is weird how when I first moved into the house the floors were so squeaky and annoying, but eventually what I noticed is, I do not hear that anymore. I feel like the strange things and what I found amusing start to blend in with the house, making me not notice them anymore.

At the beginning of each new episode of our lives, we look at the things with eyes full of excitement, passion, and amazement, we look at things closely with an open heart, with happy feelings, then with time flying by, leaving us with at least photographs, we like to go back and look at them, then close our eyes and open our heart to see them clearly." Ultimately or at the limit in order to see a photograph well, it is best to look away or close your eyes."