ISOLEMENT

Liberosis dwells in Isolation

~Author's Thoughts

In The journey of being a Multidisciplinary Artist, I think feeling is a love language that I find necessary to tap into; through a variety of mediums. I don't think feeling can be expressed in only one way, simply because I think the art of emotion is so much more dynamic than simply stating when one is sad, or in love or blessed- ecstatic even. I consider myself quite the lone wolf, and have always been fine with being alone.. growing up being one of 8 children will definitely teach you to prize your alone time.. but being older .. when it comes to matters around love and the desire for connection, I seem to juggle between the extremes, All or nothing. Always struggling to find the middle ground.. I mean at what point does passion become chaos? and at point does a loner become lonely? Isolation sometimes feels like a disease in some ways, a blessing in others.. a force fed version of reflection, sitting with the damage of whatever is now resulting in solitude. Or sometimes voluntarily mentally or physically removing yourself to connect back to the essence of what is true to you. My works are visual and mental portals into my consciousness self. Thank you for being here, I welcome you with open arms.

Wildège T. François

Transcript

The story has ended

and now this is where another begins.

Just me.

The last one standing.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that exuded from the four walls we made a home out of.

I couldn't understand the feeling that was starting to overwhelm even long after you’d gone.

You see.. I think for a long time

we were both hiding our emotions- our souls really.

But anyone with eyes could see,

We were animals playing pretend in a glass house.

We ignored our instincts and because of that they came back around to bite us.

To destroy us, becoming our own worst enemies

prey to our own minds.

I was too aware of your absence but your presence was smothering.

and when I was fighting.

fighting for you to let yourself feel anything

You fought it off because you'd had the security of always knowing you'd have me.

Now?..

Now you've lost me and now our story has ended.

And now, I know you wake up every morning beginning to feel all of it.

Feeling every ounce of

Every harsh word that was spat

The trace of how our hands used to feel

The bottling anger

And every half-ass promise.. that you made me stomach

And now the air, I am breathing is only mine.

And the spaces left behind are in need of new furniture.

I find that the hardest promises to keep are the ones we’ve made to ourselves

A promise to let love in, a promise to let our hearts show.

But through the chaos that we mistook for passion

I had to go blind

I had to free fall..

Let you go

And adjust to waking up alone.

So lately.. I'm having a hard time making my space feel like mine again .

even though it always was mine to begin with- It was broken by you, and even with all this work it still doesn’t feel like mine just yet.

I gave you access to the sacred walls you never deserved.

Refusing to feel unloved, I normalized your rejection of me.

It’s dark and cold in here but alone I can see clearly in my own reflection half cracked, half filthy and half beautiful,

In the bathroom mirror I stood alone.

Where I forged myself every morning into someone

Something that you wanted- even if it wasn't me.

I didn’t feel weak for it when I was with you, something about it made me strong in the love

I was capable of giving you.. Whatever it was you wanted.

But more time passed, and the days got ahead of me and shame started to creep in.

I was appalled.

How could I have wanted your love more than I wanted me?

The memories of you, stunk up and stained every fucking corner of my apartment

my living room was perfumed with loss like a hard conversation nobody wants to have.

The flowers you didn't even know I wanted were staring back at me ..

I wanted to behead them.

I hated the beauty I recognized in them because it reminded me of you.

And You no longer had a place here.

And I know now

That you are gone for good, you needed to be.

But now what am I to do with the blood shed of my heart that stains the walls..?

How do I get the perfumed stench of lonely out of the carpet..?

I'm here alone

and still stinking of yesterday.