Midsummer

No, I don’t wish to talk about the seasons. But rather about the midsummer of life. That said, I’m not writing midwinter or autumnal beginning as some would call it. It might just be that the beginning of the matter concerning improper self-perception lies in the consciousness, songs, anecdotes and proverbs passed on by our parents about the undisputed perfection of youth and the merciless flow of time towards autumn…

Time affects us, no doubt. You turn around and you’re already forty… Just a while ago there was school, friends, first love, first choices and work. And often we are judged based on how much we have accomplished, what career did we make, what car we drive, and whether our children go to a prestigious school. Lately, the question of the “utmost importance” is where we spent our previous summer and how many wrinkles one has in comparison to other surrounding women…

And sometimes it seems that until that fateful fortieth birthday, we should all seek to buy a jeep from the same brand, fly to Turkiye a few times and at least have a decent job. Often it appears that everything is going according to plan even though one can’t help but feel the inner coldness and emptiness of life. People who for many years have been creating the lifelong construction of their dreams forget about its foundations… They forget that without their career, orderly households and lavish holidays each of us always carry our inner self. People say: you can’t run away from one’s self. By rephrasing this thought in accordance with this article, I could say that the foundations of life should be built starting from one’s self.

Nowadays almost all of us are required to distort our soul and, as Boris Pasternak once said, it is simply a part of the system we live in. Constant false behaviour that is in conflict with true feelings, the suppression of one’s self, the displayed joy instead of tears, the worship of negative things…

Psychologists are unanimous: it’s impossible to remain healthy, adequate and joyful by forcing oneself and never staying true to oneself. Here lies the answer to why we must understand and search for one’s true selves. What path should we take to achieve this?

The father of psychology Sigmund Freud wrote that the most important ability of an individual is his ability to work and — by doing so — find one’s trapped potential. 

Alfred Adler, on the other hand, believes that what matters most is our social environment and that we should start learning to notice our close ones, neighbours, those in need and learn to share with others as this reveals our nature as well as our advantages.

Erik Erikson who profoundly investigated and wrote on human stages of life believes that in order to avoid the feeling of disappointment at a mature age, one should utilise all their talents and engage in creativity even when it comes to small things.

The advice given by Carl Rogers is similar: the key goal of a human being is the realisation of oneself, the revelation of one’s talents, abilities and all, which we hold within us and consider to be valuable, genuine and human through natural effort.

Self-realisation must happen positively, an individual should accept all areas of experience, including feelings, needs, desires and instincts. All of this helps to mature so there’s no reason to be afraid or deny them, we should trust them. The greatest life’s problems are never fully solvable and that shouldn’t be our goal: they exist so that we would try to solve them… and grow stronger in the process.

In fact, youth and mature age cannot be identical in either their external or internal quality of life. During this stage of life, youthful passions, ambitions and dreams start to subside and paint themselves with calmer colours, as if the sky itself would offer us different ways of life.

That’s why I call it midsummer… When there are so many sunny days ahead, when days are long and one can do so much, when there’s time to answer oneself: why aren’t my eyes shining? Am I fulfilling myself? Have I found my calling? “And what about other questions?” you will say… Let them be topics for our future meetings…