2023 - 2024 Archives

Daily Campfire Reviews is an website independently run by David Edwards for the review and critique of the many different theater productions and other events put on by Blue Valley High School.

Reviewing Every King Arthur Movie: The Late 90s

We’re almost to the turn of the century, and five films stand between us and Y2K — an epic fantasy, a comic book adaptation, another Connecticut Yankee movie, an animated cult classic, and yet another made-for-TV film about a kid becoming an Arthurian knight. The good news? To my understanding, we are free of the love triangle for the remainder of the millennium.

Dragonheart (1996)

This is a glorious movie, and a breath of fresh air after the mediocrity of ‘95’s selection. Dragonheart tells the story of a knight named Sir Bowen who trains the prince Einon. When Einon’s father, the king, is killed, and Einon wounded, Bowen takes Einon to a dragon (we got Sean Connery back!) to be healed. The dragon gives Einon half of his heart, but the prince turns wicked and vengeful.

Twelve years later, Bowen becomes a dragon slayer and sellsword, having abandoned the chivalric code. When he reunites with the dragon from the prologue, he discovers that the creature, who he gives the name Draco, is the last of his kind. Together, they begin scamming villagers by having Bowen take money for pretending to slay Draco over and over again. Meanwhile, rebellion starts brewing, led by the daughter of a peasant who the tyrant Einon enslaved years ago.

Dragonheart is a really good time, and a glorious bit of fantasy to boot. The dragon’s CG is a little janky, but you get used to it, and in parts he actually looks really good. The whole main cast is really fun. I’d say that if you like The Princess Bride, this movie’s probably going to be up your alley — even if that film’s probably slightly better than this one.

The King Arthur stuff comes in about halfway through, when the heroes visit Avalon, the burial place of Arthur (which is… kind of how things are in the legend). There, Bowen encounters the spirit of Arthur, which pushes him to reclaim the chivalric code and fight back against the tyrant Einon.

The other films in the series (including a sequel and a handful of prequels) have no real connection to Arthurian legend, so I don’t count them.

Final Score: 3/4. Just a good, solid film.

Prince Valiant (1997)

This movie’s kind of meh. It’s an adaptation of the comic strip of the same name, like the 1954 film. I think this is a little better than that film, partly due to a more creative, comedic angle the film takes on the story. Its 2 hours feel as long as Camelot’s 3, but at least there’s a likable rom-com romance at the core of it. There’s also some creative moments, like when the love interest subdues the villain by pouring hot candle wax in his drink while he’s not looking.

I just don’t have much to say about this film. It’s a mediocre adventure film that’s kind of fun, but not as much as, say, Dragonheart.

Final Score: 2/4. Eh.

A Knight in Camelot (1998)

Whoopi Goldberg time.

A Knight in Camelot is a perfectly pleasant, fun time. As our fifth and final adaptation of A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, It’s a little long for my tastes, and a little too episodic, and it doesn’t offer all that much that the other adaptations don’t have. The exception to this, of course, is Whoopi Goldberg’s personality. She plays a kookie scientist who, when plugged into the Connecticut Yankee story, offers something unique.

I don’t think the film bears quite the charm of the 1931 film, or even Disney’s 1979 take, but it does have a lot of fun with the story. This Yankee questions the social structure of Camelot, in addition to its technology, a lot more than most adaptations. The film almost has something to say about race, about slavery, and about working conditions under industrialization, but it doesn’t quite get there.

Also, it adapts a rarely seen part of the legend. You see, most people don’t know this, but in Arthurian legend, Arthur’s top knight Lancelot has an affair with his wife and queen, Guinevere. That aspect of the story has never made it to film before. Well, except in Knights of the Round Table, Lancelot & Guinevere, Camelot, Excalibur, Merlin and the Sword, Guinevere, First Knight, and Kids of the Round Table. But other than that, it’s unheard of.

Final Score: 3/4. Delightful and occasionally laugh-out-loud funny.

The Quest for Camelot (1998)

In 1976, fantasy author Vera Chapman released the third book in her Three Damosels series, The King’s Damosel. An adaptation of the tale of Sir Gareth (plus the Grail Quest), the book centers around the damosel Lynette (with aspects of the Grail heroine thrown in) and tackles themes of sexual trauma and regret. It is, by all accounts, dark and tragic, with no happy ending in sight. The book’s reception has generally been mixed.

So obviously, this was the perfect story to adapt into a family friendly kids movie in the vein of Disney. A Quest for Camelot was Warner Brother’s attempt to mimic Disney’s renaissance brand. Being at the receiving end of a game of adaptational telephone, the film bares only the faintest resemblance to the tale of Gareth.

The original story of Gareth goes a little something like this: Gareth, the youngest son of King Lot and brother to Gawain and Gaheris, disguises himself as a humble servant to enter Camelot. Lady Lyonette shows up and says that she needs a knight to rescue her sister Lyonesse, who has been kidnapped by the Red Knight. Gareth volunteers, setting out with his dwarf sidekick Melot to help Lyonette. Gareth and Lyonette have an antagonistic relationship, and during the course of travel Gareth’s real identity comes out. After fighting some minibosses, Gareth defeats the Red Knight and saves Lyonesse. Back in Camelot, Lyonesse and Gareth get married, while Lyonette marries Gareth’s older brother Gaheris.

In A Quest for Camelot, the evil Lord Ruber (our Red Knight) kidnaps Juliana (the closest thing we have to a Lyonesse) and steals the sword Excalibur. Juliana’s daughter Kayley (our Lyonette) sets out to save her mother and Camelot. To do so, she teams up with the blind hermit Garrett (our Gareth) and a comedic two-headed dragon (who kind of fills the role of Melot).

A Quest for Camelot is fun and digestible, but it’s also a mess. The songs are annoying power ballads, and the film’s pop culture referencing two-headed dragon feels like a pale imitation of Aladdin’s Genie or Mulan’s Mushu. The romance takes the hostility between Gareth and Lyonette from the original story and turns it into a classic argue—sing—kiss romance. The animation is good, and the worldbuilding is really solid (that ogre was actually cool), but the story and music just don’t hold up.

Ruber is a fun villain who, like the Disney villains he’s modeled after, is queer-coded. He’s not the world’s greatest animated musical villain (that’s Dr. Facilier), but he works for what he is, and his villain song is… weird. At least it’s better than “This is the Thanks I Get”. I really can’t compare him to the other Red Knight adaptation, the manifestation of trauma from The Fisher King, so I won’t.

Kayla is a fine protagonist, and it’s good to have an active female protagonist in one of these. Though she’s based on Lyonette, who was featured in those Green Knight films, Kayla is more comparable to other female protagonists from these movies — namely, Katherine from Siege of the Saxons. I think that they’re about on equal footing, really, and both characters get the job done.

Garrett is our first real adaptation of Gareth. The character is basically a background extra in Knights of the Round Table and First Knight. The only time he’s actually done something in one of these movies was in Lancelot & Guinevere, where his big contribution to the story was getting killed by Lancelot and motivating Gawain’s revenge arc. Speaking of Gawain, the version of Gareth’s older brother presented in Gawain and the Green Knight and its remake uses some elements of the legendary Gareth, with Gawain as a humble but brave squire.

Gareth’s one and only character trait in legend is his humility. He disguised himself as a kitchen boy so that he could earn his place on merit. So this Garrett character’s arrogance didn’t really fit with that. Still, as representation for kids with disabilities, Garrett is effective, and he works as a good love interest for Kayla.

Overall, The Quest for Camelot is a breezy but mediocre kid’s movie with terribly out-of-place music.

Final Score: 2/4. Some folks swear by it, but I’m kind of lukewarm to this one.

The Excalibur Kid (1999)

A single movie stands between me and the turn of the century. Let’s do this.

Some movies on this list have standout moments and aspects that save them from their abyssal trenches of quality. Not so with The Excalibur Kid. This movie maintains serviceable competence all the way through the story, without any flashes of brilliance or originality.

The film is a time travel movie about a modern kid who accidentally pulls the sword from the stone instead of Arthur. But this is no Connecticut Yankee movie. Instead of focussing on how the displaced character affects his world, The Excalibur Kid instead focuses on destiny. In a way, it’s the perfect film to usher us into a new millennium.

It’s not great, mind you, but it does have its moments, especially when the main character and the young King Arthur talk about the future. The film’s villain, Morgause, is really fun. And the movie is, unexpectedly, painfully accurate to Arthurian legend. Like, it’s hard to describe, but it feels like the script writer was looking back and forth between Le Morte d’Arthur and his script while he was writing it.

Final Score: 2/4. It’s an alright movie.

This may be my final article before I archive the year. I’ll probably try to finish this project in college, and maybe I’ll drop some more articles on the topic in the coming months. If I do continue this project, then next time we’ll be heading over to the early 2000s, which had three King Arthur films. But otherwise, this is goodbye. Thanks to everyone who’s read my blog over the years.

My Stranger Things Theory

July 9, 2024

Since this won't be my blog very soon, there's something I need to get off my chest. It's a fan theory concerning Stranger Things, and unlike my Ted Lasso theory (which you can find in the Weird Articles section), I don't have actor confirmation on this one, but here we go.

People have long scoured Dungeons & Dragons lore for hints toward upcoming plot beats in Stranger Things, given the show's frequent homage to the roleplaying game and tendency to name its monsters after monsters from the game. While such efforts are commendable, I believe that there is a direct parallel to be found between Stranger Things' monster and locals and the creatures of Dungeons & Dragons.

First, what the Stranger Things monsters are called — we've got to get it out of the way. The Stranger Things Demogorgon is not, and cannot be, the Prince of Demons from Dungeons & Dragons. For one thing, Demogorgon is a unique figure, one with intelligence and rulership over an abyssal layer, plus a distinctive look.

The Mind Flayer, though, is a little more promising. In D&D, Mind flayers are alien beings with supreme psionic powers. With humanoid bodies and purple octopus faces, Mind Flayers experiment with other species, to the point that a good chunk of the most recent Monster Manual are the mad creations of these beings. Mind Flayers are all connected, psionically, to a single mind: the elder brain, a massive brain that serves as the head of a mind flayer colony.

Here's my theory: the Mind Flayer from Stranger Things is a mind flayer elder brain — specifically, the God-Brain of Bluetspur.

To explain what the God-Brain of Bluetspur is, I first have to explain the D&D concept of Ravenloft. Ravenloft is a D&D campaign setting used for horror campaigns, focused around the Domains of Dread. The idea behind it is that on various worlds throughout the multiverse of Dungeons & Dragons, there are evil, tragic figures who are powerful and dangerous enough that mysterious entities known as the Dark Powers feel they need to be removed from the multiverse as it is. Usually at the culmination of some great act of evil, the Dark Powers tear the evil individual from the multiverse, trapping them in a Domain of Dread — an isolated demiplane where they become a darklord.

A darklord is one of these evil, tragic individuals, who rules over their Domain of Dread with supreme power — while also being tormented by something. The most famous darklord in D&D is the Vampire Count Strahd von Zarovich. Inspired by Dracula, Strahd was a count in the land of Barovia, with a younger, handsomer brother named Sergei. Strahd coveted his brother's wife, Tatyana, and when he could not have her, he made a deal to become a vampire (in some versions, the first vampire) and slew his brother. Horrified, Tatyana threw herself from the walls of Strahd's castle — Castle Ravenloft, which lends its name to the entire Ravenloft setting — and the guards rebelled. Slaying all of his guards, the new vampire's act of evil caused the Dark Powers to pull him, and Barovia, into the mists. On the other side, Strahd was an immortal darklord, Barovia was a domain of dread, and Strahd found himself devoid of happiness, chasing reincarnations of Tatyana who could never return his obsession.

But a Darklord doesn't have to be humanoid, or undead. A darklord can be anybody and anything. Human nobles, werewolves, undead wizards, mummies, mad scientists, ghosts, hags, and even talking swords all feature as darklords in the Domains of Dread. There's even a strange, alien domain known as Bluetspur, whose darklord is a mad mind flayer elder brain — the God-Brain of Bluetspur.

So now that you know what the God-Brain of Bluetspur is, it's time to talk about why I believe he and the Stranger Things Mind Flayer are one and the same. First, Bluetspur itself is the Upside Down. The exact location of Ravenloft in the D&D multiverse has changed over the years, but starting in Fourth Edition (which nobody likes) and carrying over to Fifth Edition (which most people like), the Domains of Dread were located within the Shadowfell (i.e. the Plane of Shadow), a dark parallel dimension to the Prime Material Plane (i.e. Earth or whatever fantasy world the main D&D game takes place in). And when Stranger Things first introduces us to the Upside Down for the first time, they immediately compare it to the Plane of Shadows. (They call it the Veil of Shadows in the show for whatever reason, which D&D has never called it, but it's the same thing.) So Bluetspur is a part of the dimension that the show compares the Upside Down to.

Plus, Bluetspur is known for its alien landscape and frequent lightning storms. Compare this art of Bluetspur from the cover of Thoughts of Darkness with this image of the Upside Down from Stranger Things:

Next, to explain the Demogorgons. Mind flayers produce eggs that hatch into tadpoles. These tadpoles are kept in pools in a mind flayer colony and implanted into the brains of humanoids (i.e. humans, elves, gnomes, etc.), where they slowly take control of the host, until the host itself is turned into a new mind flayer, in a process called 'ceremophosis'.

But the God-Brain of Bluetspur has a way of creating mind flayers without hosts. Vampiric mind flayers are "feral atrocities spawned from mind flayer tadpoles infected with vampirism" (Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft). To me, this suggests that the tadpoles themselves grow into Vampiric Mind Flayers without a humanoid host. This lines up with the lore earlier additions of D&D, including when the God-Brain was introduced, wherein all mind flayers grew straight from the tadpole.

Point is, the vampiric mind flayer tadpoles are the same as the Demogorgon tadpoles from Stranger Things:

And then you have the adult vampiric mind flayer, whose appearance is suspiciously close to the Demogorgon's adult form:

So you have a semi-intelligent, psionically powerful creature that acts as a feasting servant for a single brain, a brain that dwells in an alternate shadow dimension in a realm of high mountains and thunderstorms. Hmm. But I'm not done yet. Because mind flayers don't just use humanoid creatures to create other mind flayers — they also create thralls.

A mind flayer thrall is created when a mind flayer (or an elder brain) uses its mind blast on a creature (usually a humanoid, though sometimes an animal) systematically for days on end, until the creature's personality has been all but destroyed, its will broken. In this state, the creature becomes a slave to the mind flayer colony, serving as a docile servant with only flickers of its former personality. In Season 3 of Stranger Things, we meet the Flayed — people whose minds have been dominated by the Mind Flayer (i.e. the elder brain), who serve its will entirely. Are we seeing the parallels?

And then we have the rats. In the third season of Stranger Things, we get to a see a group of flayed rats, enslaved by the Mind Flayer. D&D mind flayers are also known to experiment with rats, producing psychically-empowered rats known as Cranium Rats. These rats become more powerful in groups, as their psychic power accumulates into a shared intelligence. In Stranger Things, the rats must physically meld together, but in doing so, they do collect enough psychic power to act as a vessel for the Mind Flayer.

Now for the sticky matter of Vecna. In a lot of ways, Stranger Things's Vecna bares a lot of the hallmarks of a Ravenloft darklord — a powerful individual who, after committing an atrocity, it pulled into his own torturous Domain of Dread. In the process, he loses his humanity and becomes ruler of his new realm.

Here's where I think the show might be drawing from D&D's Vecna. In Dungeons & Dragons, Vecna is one of the most iconic bad guys there is. He's up there with Demogorgon, Tiamat, Acererak, and the aforementioned Strahd. Heck, there's even an argument to be made that he was the main villain of the game's second edition.

From this point forth, I'll refer to Stranger Thing's Vecna by his real name, Henry Creel, to avoid confusion with the D&D character.

D&D's Vecna, like Creel, is a powerful magic-user— so powerful, in face, that he became an undead wizard known as a lich. Now, in spite of some serious physical deformities, Creel does still have his left eye and hand — something that D&D Vecna lost to a traitorous servant. But D&D's Vecna was, at one point, trapped in Ravenloft as a Darklord — something he only escaped through a powerful ritual that brought him to godhood.

(It's also no coincidence that after the fourth season of Stranger Things came out, D&D started producing Vecna-related content like there was no tomorrow — not to mention creating new art for the character that looked increasingly like his Stranger Things counterpart.)

So here's the final theory: The Mind Flayer is the God-Brain of Bluetspur. It lives in Bluetspur, a domain of dread within the Plane of Shadows, a dark mirror to the real world that the characters refer to as the Upside Down. Its vampiric mind flayer thralls, i.e. the Demogorgons, grow from tadpoles and are connected to the central Mind Flayer brain. It creates thralls out of humanoids, which the show's characters call the Flayed. It uses a version of cranium rats to manifest its intelligence (not to mention its body) in the real world.

And in 1983, Henry Creel's massacre at the Hawkins lab led to the Darklords bringing Henry Creel in as a second darklord (as has happened a few times in the lore) of the domain of Bluetspur, where he was transformed into a lich-like creature.

There you go. It's a theory I've had for a while, and a pretty solid one with some pretty good evidence, if you ask me.

And until next time, just remember: that's just an educated guess. A TV education guess.

Reviewing Every King Arthur Movie: 1995

Yep, there were four movies released in 1995 based (at least loosely) off of Arthurian legend. So far, each era in this saga has been characterized by certain elements. The 30s - 50s featured many works set in Arthurian Britain that weren’t adapted straight from Malory or Geoffrey. The 60s were heavy on musicals. The 70s were heavy on comedies, while the 80s were characterized by messy, dream-like films. The early 90s were experimental and artistic, to great results. Now, in 1995, one quality above all others characterizes these films: three out of the four have child protagonists. So, are you ready to have an affair, travel through time, and die horribly of cancer at a young age? Let’s do this.

First Knight (1995)

This movie is mainly a star vehicle for Sean Connery as King Arthur, Richard Gere as Lancelot, and Julia Ormond as Guinevere. As a film, it brings to the forefront the never before adapted into film love triangle between Arthur, Lancelot, and Guinevere. Well, except for Knights of the Round Table, Lancelot & Guinevere, Camelot, Excalibur, Merlin and the Sword, and Guinevere. But hey, seventh time’s the charm, am I right?

The movie’s okay. Sean Connery is way too good for the film, but all of the performances hold up pretty well. I liked how they characterized Arthur in the back half of the film as a wise but conflicted king, betrayed by his wife and friend. The first time we see Camelot, it does feel magical. And this movie probably has the best action yet, with the obvious exception of Army of Darkness. The villain is compelling enough, constituting our first true adaptation of Maleagant, Guinevere’s kidnapper. (Unless you count Liam Neeson’s Grak from Merlin and the Sword.) He also incorporates elements of Mordred, being a former Knight of the Round Table and ultimately causing Arthur’s death.

There are, however, three things that hold this film back from being all that good. The first is that the film isn’t magical in the slightest, except for that first shot of Camelot. Sure, not every King Arthur movie has to have magic in it, but I’d argue that the best ones retain that element. Second, the film’s romance between Lancelot and Guinevere is cliched and sexist, which makes it hard to root for Lancelot when Arthur comes across as way more likable. And the third thing is that this film doesn’t do much (besides the aforementioned action) that isn’t done better by Lancelot and Guinevere or Knights of the Round Table. Stylistically, the film is closer to the latter, but certain scenes in it also seemed like stripped-down versions of the former.

This movie just didn’t feel like it mattered all that much. Certain films on this list feel like tentpole movies that try to tell the entire story of King Arthur, or at least a significant chapter. Knights of the Round Table, The Sword in the Stone, Camelot, Excalibur, and even Monty Python are movies that have defined the perception of Arthur and his knights, all while serving as landmark movies of their era. Lancelot and Guinevere, Merlin and the Sword, and Guinevere all took unique approaches to the subject matter, justifying their existence. But for a film that should have fallen into the former category, this movie fails to make the latter. First Knight just doesn’t live up to being that great of a movie, and is certainly a sorry excuse for the definitive King Arthur film of the 1990s.

Final Score: 2/4. A beautifully composed but boringly written movie filled with cliches.

The Four Diamonds (1995)

In 1972, fourteen-year-old Chris Millard returned to school from his summer vacation and was given an assignment to write about his summer vacation. Millard, who had spent the summer being treated for cancer, asked to write about something else instead. The short story Millard produced, “The Four Diamonds”, tells the tale of a knight named Sir Millard, who, while searching for the Holy Grail, is kidnapped by the evil witch Raptenahad and forced to seek out the four diamonds of Courage, Wisdom, Honesty, and Strength to earn his freedom — an allegory for Millard’s own fight with cancer.

Shortly after writing “The Four Diamonds”, Millard passed away from his cancer. In honor of his short story, Millard’s parents started the Four Diamonds Fund, a charity for supporting children battling cancer and their families. And in 1995, Disney released a TV movie called The Four Diamonds, a biographical drama based on Millard’s battle with cancer that is intercut with the story of Sir Millard from Millard’s short story.

The Four Diamonds is a hard film to watch; it took me weeks to get through, and that’s partially to blame for the large gap between articles. Knowing how it ends makes it all the more difficult to embark upon the journey to get there.

The Four Diamonds is also a flawed movie. The film is at times somewhat dull or cliche, but there is an element of realism that shines through it. The fantasy sequences are oftentimes the weakest elements of the movie, though it pains me to say that given the source material.

But the movie is, for all of its faults, still pretty good. The film isn’t afraid to show the humanity and weakness in its characters, even Chris himself. One of the movie’s strongest features is how it devotes time to showing how Chris’s cancer affects every member of his family, as well as his doctor. The real crux of the film centers on Chris’s relationship with his father, and the resolution of that arc is easily the film’s strongest moment. You can tell that the real family had input on the making of the film.

The performances are all good, especially from the actor playing Chris himself, who hits difficult emotional moments really well. There’s some maturity here, to be sure.

The movie, though, provides the audience with a final, cathartic mercy by not ending with Chris’s death. We don’t see Chris die, or see his funeral, or any of it. Instead, the film shows us on his last good day, where he reminisces with his family over Christmas dinner, even though he’s too sick to eat. After this, we get the other characters, one at a time, reading Chris’s short story “The Four Diamonds”, presumably shortly after Chris’s death, ending on a final ride for Sir Millard as narration informs us of Chris’s death and the creation of the Four Diamonds Fund.

This ending is, in a word, brilliant. Instead of focusing on the tragedy of Chris’s death, it puts the emphasis on how his virtues impacted the people around him. It’s unforeseeably uplifting and immensely cathartic, given what I expected knowing that Chris was to die.

Final Score: 3/4. Well-made but hard to watch, with a brilliant ending.

Kids of the Round Table (1995)

More child protagonists. Kids of the Round Table is a slice of life adventure movie about a boy named Alex with a single father who draws the sword from the stone and meets Merlin. It’s fairly laid back, much of its drama revolving around a love triangle between Alex, his crush Jenny, and new kid Luke.

Wait. Alex, Jenny, Luke. Arthur, Guinevere, Lancelot.

They did the love triangle. The one that’s never been adapted before, except in Knights of the Round Table, Lancelot & Guinevere, Camelot, Excalibur, Merlin and the Sword, Guinevere, and First Knight.

Anyway, it’s actually a rather mature story about first love and emotional maturity, and the scene where Alex confides in his father is legitimately well-written. Over all this plot beat is handled believably well, and really captures the heightened emotions of prepubescence.

What makes Alex so likable is how he takes accountability for his mistakes throughout the movie, and learns maturity along the way. Meanwhile, Merlin serves as a guide and mentor, teaching the lessons of the past while knowing that they are just lessons, not always to be taken literally or in their entirety.

Also, it’s worth noting that Merlin in this film is played by Malcolm McDowell, who played Dr. Samuel Loomis in the Halloween reboot. Meanwhile, Donald Pleasence, the original Loomis actor, played Merlin in Guinevere only one year before this movie came out. It’s an interesting coincidence.

The movie falls off, though, in the second act, with the introduction of a dumb burglary subplot that doesn’t really go anywhere and kind of stinks. It’s basically a knock-off of Home Alone, and doesn’t really help the story all that much. You could cut it out and the film would be just as good.

Also, did you know that this film premiered at the Cannes Film Festival, the biggest film festival in the world? Who would have thought.

Final Score: 2/4. Perfectly charming, but not enough meat on the bone to justify its own existence.

A Kid in King Arthur’s Court (1995)

You know, if I told you this movie starred Daniel Craig and Kate Winslet, you would be expecting a different film than the one I just watched. Disney, remarkably, released three films about a child protagonist becoming an Arthurian knight in a single year. This movie is probably the most hated of the three.

A Kid in King Arthur’s Court is our fourth adaptation of A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, and is, to my understanding, the least faithful. It tells the story of a kid from Reseda who is sucked back in time by Merlin’s spirit to Camelot, where he must uncover a plot for the throne by an aging King Arthur’s sinister advisor Lord Belasco.

I don’t like A Kid in King Arthur’s Court very much. It’s boring in places and badly written. The performances, especially that of the lead, are not very good. The movie’s themes are half-baked and generic, and its protagonist lacks much of what made the previous Connecticut Yankees likable.

But I also don’t understand why the film is so hated. Its plotlines come together well enough, after all. There’s nothing at all special about the film that you couldn’t get from, say, Unidentified Flying Oddball, but there’s nothing too bad about it either. It’s just not special. It’s not funny, with a sparse few exceptions usually involving the aging King Arthur. It’s not emotional or impactful. It’s just a generic adventure movie.

Final Score: 2/4. Inoffensive slop.

Why I Love the Monsterverse

June 10, 2024

A couple weeks ago, I saw Godzilla x Kong: A New Empire, the latest installment in the Monsterverse franchise. It was dumb, but I loved it. Because the MonsterVerse is my guilty pleasure.

The MonsterVerse is a shared media franchise marketed as a cinematic universe similar to the MCU, though it bares more in common with a standard film franchise in my opinion. This was in the time when every studio was trying to make their own cinematic universe. Most flamed out after one or two movies. After all these years, Marvel is in decline, DC and the Fox movies exist as interesting corpses to dissect for their value and reboot, and yet the MonsterVerse chugs along, producing a fun monster movie every couple of years.

The MonsterVerse is based on Toho's Godzilla-based Kaiju movies and American King Kong films. Considering each, I am far more familiar with the latter; I saw the original 1933 film, the 1976 remake, and the 2005 remake when I was young and was an instant fan. Godzilla, though, was literally a foreign concept to me, which is probably for the best given the singular American Godzilla film that predated the MonsterVerse.

I like this franchise for a few reasons. First, I'm a simple man at heart. I like seeing big monsters fight each other. Second, it feels like a part of my identity. With the exception of Godzilla vs. Kong, which released in the midst of the pandemic, I've watched every one of these movies in theaters. They haven't all bee good, but they've all delivered big monsters — and I like big monsters. I've grown up with these movies from the time I was seven years old.

A third reason this franchise is so special is that each one feels like an event. On average, a new MonsterVerse movie releases every three years — like a presidential election, if the candidates were big monsters who hit each other with laser breath instead of debating. Hold on, I might have a letter to write to the FEC.

A problem with would-be cinematic universes is that they try to bite off more they can chew, with each movie serving only to entice the audience with snippets of a better movie — with the result of making the movie you're watching feel irrelevant. No Monsterverse movie has this problem, and only Kong: Skull Island even comes close — but that movie was a beloved reboot of a popular franchise, so it's hardly small. Indeed, every one of these films feels like the next big chapter in a saga.

For as much as people complain about the human characters, I find the humans in the MonsterVerse as memorable, especially in the latest three films, which have had overlapping casts. While the first few films tried to replicate the cookie-cutter Hollywood action hero, more recently, a larger variety of characters have taken center stage — scientists, adopted mothers, young people, conspiracy podcasters — the heroes of the MonsterVerse are whoever is at hand, and that creates a setting that is both demographically and archetypically diverse in its protagonists.

Furthermore, the MonsterVerse sets itself apart from the disaster films of the 2000s that it shares many similarities with in that its themes are, believe it or not, often more nuanced. Usually, you would have the human characters merely run around while the monsters fight, or else a single, highly individualistic action hero has to take down the monsters with a team of stoic military types. But in the MonsterVerse, it's not about destroying the monsters — it's about maintaining a balanced ecosystem, one with room for humans and monsters alike.

The villains, then, are characters who pervert the natural order — an invasive species (Ghidorah), a man-made attempt to destroy nature (Mechagodzilla), and a semi-intelligent ape bending a natural titan to its will (the Skull King). Even the MUTOs, from the first film, were awoken by man-made strip mining. Thus, the solution to the monster threat is not to kill the big monsters, it's to find a way to coexist peacefully — interacting with the environment responsibly, and managing environmental threats through an understanding of how these threats operate.

The best film in the Monsterverse, in spite of what Rotten Tomatoes would have you believe, is Godzilla: King of the Monsters. This is the film that emphasizes the Monsterverse's main themes most, and the one with the most character nuisance. It also feels, to me, at least, like the biggest event: humanity having to contend with the role of titans in the established universe.

Ultimately, you never know exactly what you're getting in a MonsterVerse movie, but you know that big monsters will fight each other, and you know that it'll be a good time. These are blockbusters in the purest sense, and I can't stop loving them.

Reviewing Every King Arthur Movie: The Early 90s

I’ve always said that my favorite era of film is the 90s. Sure, other eras had good movies, but I’ll always have a soft spot for this decade. The 90s also have more Arthur films than any other decade except the 2010s, so we’re going to break it up into three parts: the early 90s, 1995, and the late 90s.

So, are you ready for a strange collection of Arthurian reimaginings, from a Robin Williams romantic comedy to a zombie horror movie to a feminist retelling of the legend. I was going to include Seaview Knights, but I’m pretty sure that film has been completely lost to time.

The Fisher King (1991)

This film is a bizarre masterpiece. What other kind of movie is part adaptation of Arthurian legend, part New York City romantic comedy, and part psychological drama? I have never seen a movie like this; it’s also the first movie on our list since Camelot to win an Oscar.

Basically, a narcissistic radio personality named Jack Lucas learns that his insulting of a caller on air caused that caller to snap, shooting up a restaurant before ending his own life. This sends Jack into a depressive spiral; within three years, he becomes suicidal.

But soon he meets an insane near-homeless man named Perry (played by Robin Williams), who Jack learns lost his wife to the shooter. Perry went insane, and now believes that a billionaire holds the Holy Grail. Jack and Perry must help each other put their lives back together.

It’s an intriguing premise; Jack serves as a version of the Fisher King, a king who was wounded for his arrogance and now requires the Holy Grail to be cured. Perry, meanwhile, is an homage to the foolish knight Percival, who finds the holy grail for the Fisher King. Except that by the end of the film the pair switch roles, and Jack must steal the ‘grail’ to cure Perry.

Another aspect of the legend is Percival’s rival, the Red Knight, who in this film manifests as an embodiment of Perry’s trauma. The Red Knight looks amazing in this movie, simply amazing.

Though I wish there had been a bit more ambiguity as to the reality of Perry’s beliefs (as it stands, he’s obviously delusional), this movie is still really interesting. Also, Robin William gets naked — and you do get to see his magic lamp.

Final Score: 4/4. Like I said, a bizarre masterpiece.

Army of Darkness (1992)

Hail to the king, baby! Okay, so Army of Darkness is epic. The third film in Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead series, Army of Darkness tells the story of Ash Williams, who is almost a parody of hyper-masculine eighties action heroes, being sucked back in time to 1300, where he must team up with the medieval Lord Arthur to defeat a rising army of the undead, led by his evil self, and return home to 20th-century America.

This is barely a King Arthur adaptation. Arthur was said to have lived in the 5th - 6th centuries, and in this version, he’s a Lord instead of a King. There is a wise man who knows magic and alchemy and advises Arthur, but they never call him Merlin.

But please, just let me have this one. Army of Darkness is freaking awesome. It’s kind of got similar vibes to the Connecticut Yankee adaptations, especially the 1931 film, in that it has a hyper-modern character interacting with over-the-top medieval stereotypes. Two out of every three lines that come out of Ash’s mouth are instantly iconic, and the movie is simply never boring to watch.

The villain is Evil Ash, who goes through four different stages of development throughout the film. When Ash is looking for the Necronomicon, he sees an evil version of himself in the mirror. He breaks the mirror into little pieces, but from each of these little pieces emerges an evil little Ash. The little Ashes tie up regular Ash, and one jumps into his mouth.

Then, because he’s got the mind of that little evil Ash in him, Ash splits into two; a regular Good Ash, and an Evil Ash. Good Ash shoots, dismembers, and buries his evil self. But then when the Army of the Dead rises, Evil Ash rises from the grave as a zombie to lead it. And then, during the final battle, Good Ash burns Evil Ash into a final skeletal form.

Furthermore, the skeletal army is a really cool mix of costuming, puppetry, and stop motion animation. You know how much I like stop motion. And Bruce Campbell as Ash is appropriately epic.

Final Score: 4/4. Groovy.

Guinevere (1994)

With a legend like King Arthur, who everyone’s heard of but few people anymore know more than a few details about, you’re bound to get a bunch of retellings. And with retellings of the classics come feminist retellings. They usually use the most prominent women of legend — Guinevere, Arthur’s mother Igraine, the Lady of the Lake, and the sorceress Morgana — as points of attack for this angle. (Hey, guys, Ragnelle is right there. Whatever, at least Shrek kind of told the Ragnelle story.)

Anyway, because a lot of women are book readers and Hollywood is a male-dominated place, most of these feminist retellings are, needless to say, books. The most famous are The Mists of Avalon (whose author makes J. K. Rowling look downright unproblematic) and the Camelot Rising series (which makes the characters gay while completely ignoring Lancelot’s half giant wingman-with-benefits Galehaut). Despite the notability of these titles, there are so, so, so, so, so many of these books out there.

Mists would receive a miniseries adaptation seven years after this, but since it’s not a movie I won’t watch it. Camelot Rising, on the other hand, was more recent, and has yet to receive an adaptation. I haven’t read either of these books, or any literary retellings of the legend — for the time being I’m sticking to the translations of primary sources, named Le Morte d’Arthur, with some sprinklings of Historia Regum Britanniae and Prose Lancelot.

This, of course, is all in prologue to the TV movie Guinevere, an adaptation of the book trilogy of the same name that had concluded only a year prior. By now, an early 90s TV movie attempt at a feminist retelling of Arthurian legend, based on a trilogy of books that had barely finished when the movie was made, sounds like a recipe for disaster. Especially when it has a 29% Audience score on Rotten Tomatoes. (It’s too obscure for a critic score.)

Now for the twist: I liked this movie. It presents a view of Arthurian legend that feels unique, both giving power to the female characters while allowing many of the male characters to retain their virtue. Guinevere herself is well-written, even if the voiceover narration is annoying. The questions of paganism vs. Christianity and femininity vs. masculinity are the driving force in this movie, and ultimately both ideas have to be considered for Camelot to survive. Lancelot is… not my favorite, but at least a new take on the classic character. Arthur, meanwhile, feels fallible but ultimately virtuous. I think that’s the thing with Arthur — he’s flawed, yes, but to try to make him evil or unheroic misses a lot of his complexity.

The film also has an original villain, who, as far as I can tell, was not featured in the book series. This villain, a rival king who slays Guinevere’s father Leodegrance and rebels against Arthur, bears the closest resemblance to the Irish kings Rience and Nero, with a few elements of King Lot scattered across his character. Overall, he makes for an interesting outlook into what England could fall to. Peace must be made between the old ways and the new, otherwise this guy’s ideas will rule, and nobody wants that.

But the two characters that steal the show are Merlin and Morgana. Merlin is played by Doctor Loomis himself, Donald Pleasance, and acts as a kind, pragmatic mentor in the story. I loved every scene he was in.

But Morgana just takes the cake. A force of will, you find yourself wanting to hear everything she says. Her worldview is harsh and alien, yet compelling; she reminds me a great deal of Lord Henry from The Picture of Dorian Gray. Furthermore, this movie addresses societal stigmas around menstruation, largely through her character’s interactions with Guinevere. And this is honestly probably the best take I’ve seen on Uther’s rape of Igraine. Rather than watch it in graphic detail like in Excalibur (seriously, what were they thinking?), or skimming over it entirely, we hear about it through rumor, and it serves as one of Morgana’s driving motivations throughout the movie. Merlin doesn’t tell Arthur about it because he wants to keep Arthur’s faith alive, but in doing so he creates an inner turmoil in the young king.

There are other women from legend that didn’t make it into this story. This version of Morgana is combined with the Lady of the Lake, which is a shame, because I find that many versions of Nimue offer a nice contrast to Morgana. Ragnelle is, of course, not included, but I guess I’ll always have Merlin and the Sword and Shrek. And Percival’s sister, the Grail heroine — who has a number of names in legend but is usually left unnamed — seems curiously absent from every adaptation I’ve seen (and we’re to the twenty-first movie here), even the ones that adapt the Grail Quest, which is a shame, given her significance to the legend. But I suppose I can’t put the burden of telling the story of every Arthurian woman on the adaptation that 

Final Score: 3/4. Not a must-see, but if you wanted a feminist retelling, you could do a lot worse. In terms of books, that is; I'm pretty sure this is the only movie that ever tried to do this.

And there you are! Next time, we'll be talking about the year 1995 and it's King Arthur movies. There have been nine years (1954, 1981, 1998, 2004, 2007, 2008, 2010, 2019, and 2021) in which two King Arthur movies came out, by my criteria. One year (1963) even had three. But only twice in history has there been a year with four King Arthur movies — and next time, we'll meet the first with 1995.

Under New Management

May 22, 2024

For three years now, I have gone to every theater show this school has put out, or else a dress rehearsal before the actual production, and I have reviewed it. But now that I have graduated, there is a degree of demand for the critiques to continue.

I intend to move on with my life. I will be attending college at the University of Tulsa, and I have no interest in continuing to watch and review theater shows beyond the end of this summer.

When I started this blog, I knew that it would be read. It started with an unofficial ranking on the notes app of my phone, and already people wanted to hear how each new show ranked. I realized that there was demand for this niche, and I realize that that demand still exists.

Because people want to know they aren't simply shouting into the void. They want to know that they are seen, that their effort was seen, that somebody cares. I never did theater myself for a lot of reasons, chief among them being that I am not a good actor. But I also didn't do it because I didn't want to have to compete for the shallow stores of validation the program awards itself. I knew that these peers of mine, similarly, wanted to feel that they were having an impact, beyond the tight-knit community they were in. And that's why I started this blog.

And now, that burgeoning sophomore class that I called my peers back in 2022 are graduates. But this blog does not end with them. There is the Junior class, ready to inherit the program next year; the Sophomore class, whose talent is just beginning to shine through; and the Freshman class, who have perhaps read and heard about this blog but will never see one of their names in my reviews.

In a lot of ways, this blog feels ancient to me; it's been there for a slim majority of my high school experience, and has really represented the post-COVID world. On the other hand, it's incredibly, incredibly recent. When my blog was started, the tope movies in theater were The Batman, Spider-Man: No Way Home, and Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. Russia had just begun its most recent invasion of Ukraine. This was not that long ago at all.

But in that time, it's also become an institution. The underclassmen, for example, have never really known a time when this blog didn't exist, and even the Juniors have never acted in a show that I didn't write an article about.

Recognizing the demand for theater shows to continue, I have decided to pass it on to a trio of sophomores: Dannon Mwangi, Brooke Lovell, and Amelia Hooper. All three currently have editing access to this website. Until I gave Mwangi a few weeks ago, only I had ever possessed that access.

Starting in August, these three will have complete and total control of the blog. They will be able to write what they want on it. I will not be proofreading or approving articles or any of it. I intend to open the editing side of Daily Campfire Reviews as little as possible past the end of the summer.

There will continue to be a new review with each theater show, which can be written by any member of the staff not acting in that show. There will be Best Performances, and an end of the year ranking. Beyond that, my successors may change the blog's style in any way they see fit. I already know there has been discussion of the possibility of TigerTV reviews, though this may or may not come to fruition.

I have made the decision to provide my successors with this much freedom very intentionally. When I started this blog, I was a sophomore with basically zero experience. The only qualifications I had for starting this blog were a willingness to attend every theater show and an old website domain from my summer camp newspaper that I was using for Rick Rolling. There was no shaft of light indicating divine selection. I was flying by the seat of my pants.

And so too will my successors. Their writing style will doubtlessly be different from mine, and you may not enjoy that. But if I they tried to imitate my style, it would only yield inferior writing to their own approaches. You don't have to read, but for the foreseeable future this blog will remain the only place to get reviews of recent BVHS theater shows. This is their blog, not mine.

Old articles will, of course, be kept in the Archive. In the 'About' section, you can now find a brief history of the blog, including information about my tenure here. My successors may choose to bring on new writers during their tenure, or select successors of their own upon graduation.

Maybe this will be a dynasty. Maybe it won't even make it to the end of next year. The future of this blog depends entirely upon my successors and their readers. Daily Campfire Reviews is a very rewarding job to have, but it can also be very lonely sometimes. Make your new critics feel welcome in the community, and perhaps this blog will survive for years to come. I have no say in how long this lasts, for I have forfeited that privilege in my abdication.

I end every blog post with and "until next time". And there will be a next time, there will be another article, and I still have a few more to write. But for all practical purposes, when "next time" — next August, that is — arrives, I will be gone.

So yes, go thank a crew member. And until next time, whatever form that might take — David Edwards out.

Reviewing Every King Arthur Movie: The 80s

May 21, 2024

And with that we enter the 80s, where we’re going from whimsical parody to epic. Epic battles, epic romance, epic nudity, epic violence, epic sex, and, most importantly — epic dogs.

Excalibur (1981)

Do you wish your Arthur movie had more boobs and violence? Well, Excalibur is your movie, then! Apparently this is Zach Snyder’s favorite film, so make of that what you will. Plus, this is the last King Arthur movie to be a financial success. Pray for me, because we’re less than a third of the way through.

Excalibur is a strange film. Set in the Dark Ages, the film does away with the high class chivalry of its predecessors in exchange for a brutal tale of magic, violence, and sex. The movie’s score and visuals give it a supernatural tone that ranges from epic fantasy to downright horror in places. Rather than the earnest, real people of Camelot, Excalibur tells a story with near-amoral legends. Critic Robert Ebert hit the nail on the head when he called it “a record of the comings and goings of arbitrary, inconsistent, shadowy figures who are not heroes but simply giants run amok. Still, it's wonderful to look at”.

Curiously, the film attempts to capture the entirety of Arthurian legend, to variable success. This single movie could really be five films for how much material it seeks to cover. Remember when I said this was Zach Snyder’s favorite movie? Because like Man of Steel, the movie begins with a nearly twenty minute prologue about the protagonist’s father, which is interesting enough to be its own movie. Then it tells the story of Arthur’s path to drawing Excalibur from the stone, which was a movie — The Sword in the Stone. And then came Arthur’s fight to secure his throne (including the only cinematic portrayal of King Lot) which hasn’t really been adapted in full as a movie but was the plot of T. H. White’s The Queen of Air and Darkness. The fourth movie in this movie is the Grail Quest, a serious adaptation of which could easily take up a film just as long as the Monty Python parody. And finally comes the affair with Lancelot and Guinevere, along with Mordred’s betrayal — already a bulky enough story to tell when Lancelot & Guinevere and Camelot each tried to tackle this part on its own.

Only Knights of the Round Table even attempted to tell more than one of these five stories, and even then, it barely dipped its toes into the Grail Quest and relegated the sword in the stone to its opening scene. That movie is probably the cleaner version of this film. But still, there’s something to be said for this messy, wonderful disaster. You couldn’t call it an unfaithful adaptation — it’s probably the most faithful adaptation I’ve seen, with the possible exception of the aforementioned Knights of the Round Table, though more to the details and lore than to the spirit.

It’s also really funny how many famous actors appeared in this movie when they were obscure. Most notably, a barely-onscreen Gawain is portrayed by Liam Neeson while Patrick Stewart makes some… interesting acting choices as Guinevere’s father Leodegrance.

Merlin is witty and charming, though he lacks the compassion of the Merlin from Lancelot & Guinevere, the childlike wonder of Camelot, and the whimsy of The Sword in the Stone. This Merlin’s magic is very real, but far more dangerous than fun. Guinevere’s portrayal is relatively charming, if bland. This is a fairly unmemorable Lancelot, and a mediocre Arthur to boot.

If this is anyone’s story, it’s Morgana’s. In a movie like this, you almost can’t help but root for the villain, who is given a compelling motivation early on when Arthur’s father Uther does a bad thing to his mother. (We keep things light on this blog, but I’m sure you can use your inference, or else Wikipedia.) Sure, Morgana’s wicked to a fault, but she’s such an active character that you can’t help but like her. But when she’s defeated by Merlin, it’s a little anticlimactic.

I’d say that in spite of the film’s bloating and weird pacing, the third act is easily the movie’s strongest. It finally feels like Arthur is someone we can root for as he makes amends with Guinevere, reclaims Excalibur, and resurrects Merlin. He’s setting things right, and the film ends with a big battle set to “O Fortuna” without the slightest hint of satire present in every modern use of the tune. And the ending, where Excalibur is returned to the water, feels satisfying. Also, if this is Zach Snyder’s favorite movie, I’ve gotta be honest: his cut of Justice League is better. Definitely not my favorite movie, but better than this.

Final Score: 3/4. Bizarre but unique; an ambitiously beautiful mess.

Lovespell (1981)

This movie has the distinction of being the first film on the itinerary not to actually feature the King Arthur character in any capacity. Instead, Tristan, a traditional Knight of the Round Table, is the focus, as is his romance with the Irish princess Isolde. The film’s depiction of its character relationships is pretty good, but ultimately the movie suffers from being extremely boring and tedious. If I didn’t already know the story of Tristan and Isolde, I would be incredibly confused with the plot, especially at the beginning.

The movie’s brightest spot is Kate Mulgrew, a relatively high profile actress for a movie available on YouTube. She is way too good for this movie, and it shows. It shows.

Final Score: 2/4. Basically Lancelot & Guinevere but worse.

Sword of the Valiant: The Legend of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (1984)

Okay, this is a weird one. Sword of the Valiant is a remake of Gawain and the Green Knight. No, not just an adaptation of the same poem — a direct, almost scene-for-scene remake of the 1973 film with which it shares a director. What kind of person makes the same movie twice like that?

Anyway, Sword of the Valiant is better than the original, but not by much, sharing a plot and all. It has a higher production quality, but really its alterations boil down to two main changes. The first is a poetic riddle the knight gives Gawain, which presents a throughline that makes the various adventures he gets into more palatable. The second is a more lighthearted, comedic tone — the use of Gawain’s squire Humphrey and the jovial friar Vosper adds some much-needed levity to the film.

Other than those two minor improvements, I would refer you to my review of Gawain and the Green Knight for my other thoughts, since the films are so similar. The one other thing of note is that James Bond actor Sean Connery plays the Green Knight in this adaptation.

Final Score: 2/4. An improvement over the original.

Melin and the Sword (1985)

You know, for a made-for-TV movie from the 80s that’s available on YouTube, Merlin and the Sword is honestly not that bad.

Merlin and the Sword tells the entire story of Arthurian legend, more or less; well, at least the back half of it. The framing device is a modern-day Arthur nerd named Katherine stumbling upon the magical prison of Merlin and the Lady of the Lake. Sure, the film is kind of slow paced, and it has some confusing plot and weak writing, but there’s a lot to like here.

For one thing, it adapts some elements of legend that I’ve never seen before. Agravain is here as a stooge of Mordred’s, which is a first. The Lady of the Lake is an actual character this time, and her relationship with Merlin gives the wizard a streak of humanity we haven’t seen before. The Arthur-Lancelot-Guinevere love triangle is played out by now (after all, this marks the fifth time we’ve seen it play out in one of these movies) but there’s a side plot adapting the legend of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnelle, which is my all-time favorite Arthurian legend. While the point about Ragnelle’s agency is removed, it’s still a sweet love story.

There’s even an evil warlord who kidnaps Guinevere. His name is Grak, but he could be interpreted as a loose adaptation of Maleagant. Hey, that actor looks familiar. WAIT, THAT’S LIAM NEESON?! Hold on, guys, Liam Neeson is in this, and much like Patrick Stewart in Excalibur, he’s making some… interesting acting choices.

Anyway, this was better than I expected, but still kind of mediocre.

Final Score: 2/4, but a high 2/4.

Pound Puppies and the Legend of the Big Paw (1988)

What?

Okay, so Pound Puppies and the Legend of the Big Paw is a spin-off of the Pound Puppies TV show, in which the main characters of the show flash back to a story from the 1950s, of a villain named Marvin McNasty (and you thought Rasputin von Rotten was one the nose) who stole the magic bone that lets dogs communicate with humans and wants to turn the dogs evil because… I got no idea.

Anyway, the magic bone, called the Bone of Scone was, as explained in a flashback to the dark ages, pulled from the stone at the same time that Arthur pulled Excalibur. That is the only tie between this movie and Arthurian legend, and now I have to review it because of that.

Anyway, the one saving grace of this film is the fun to be had in the 50s aesthetic. Every song in this movie is basically discount Elvis, including the villain song, and that cracks me up. Other than that, it’s just a generic kids’ film.

Final Score: 2/4. Watchable but generic.

The Grand Ranking

May 20, 2024

One of the most requested things I've gotten is a final, grand ranking of the past three years of shows. I wanted it to be among my last articles, but here we are. I won't be going into depth about these, since I've reviewed most of them, but here we go.

27. Friday Night Live #1, 2021 - 2022 School Year

This was the first show of the year, after a year of COVID beforehand. So you can't blame it that much. That said, most of this show isn't funny; this show was the origin of the infamous "Zodiac Dinner Date"; ask a Senior about that one.

26. Curse of the Starving Class

I have two very unpopular opinions on this list, one positive and one negative. This is my negative one. Curse was dreadfully boring, and though it was well-acted, the gimmick made it really hard to follow.

25. Chrys de Latis

Chrys de Latis was a confusing mess with flashes of quality; not much more is to be said.

24. Godspell Jr.

Godspell Jr. was a kind of boring musical about Jesus Christ. It just didn't land real well, and the Jr. aspect of it was weirdly sanitized compared to some of the other shows in this program.

23. Rock of Ages

Rock of Ages was like Twilight; it had great side characters and boring main characters.

22. Trap

I'm sad that the infamy of Trap will soon be forgotten forever. I described the plot of this show to Colton Fieger recently, and he found it absolutely bizarre. If nothing else, this blog will serve as the last memory of Trap.

21. Friday Night Live #2, 2021 - 2022 School Year

This FNL was significantly better than its predecessor, but it still had a few dud sketches. This was actually the subject of a joke about Daily Campfire Reviews during that year's Keatons ceremony.

20. Offerings

Offerings was a decent show, but it had relatively inexperienced actors and a somewhat unsatisfying script.

19. Friday Night Live #1, 2023 - 2024

I liked this show, but there were still a few duds. And Balloon Heads needs to die. Kill it. Kill it with needle.

18. Friday Night Live, 2022 - 2023

This was the show that brought us my favorite FNL sketch of all time, "Morbius". But other than that, it wasn't all that notable.

17. Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon

Finally, we're out of FNL territory for a while. Brothers Grimm was the best that a sophomore rep show can be; a lighthearted display of burgeoning talent. I still have fond memories of it.

16. 30 Neo-Futurist Plays from Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind

This was a fun night at the theater, and it got me into theater trading cards. Pretty good for a 5th hour show that year. (Old biases die hard.)

15. Towards Zero

Towards Zero was a compelling murder mystery, hampered by a bit of confusing geography and an annoying gimmick. To this day I do not like the greenish light. I do not like it Sam, alright?

14. Crafting a Killer

People didn't think I'd like this one, but I did. It's still the best Nick Hays, and it had a cool premise and execution. Last year I did an article entitled "Why Why Crafting a Killer Works and Trap Doesn't"; you can read my thoughts on the matter there. 

13. Tracks

I liked this show; it was a well-executed, tight one act that had a lot to say on philosophy and maintained the proud tradition of the program.

12. Ten Minute Plays

Maybe it was a little messy, but the sheer courage to do a show as dark and complex as Ten Minute Plays, and tackle issues so controversial, is worthy of praise. And while it was imperfect, Ten Minute Plays still pulled off tackling these issues in a sensitive and nuanced way.

11. Friday Night Live #2, 2023 - 2024

This was one of the best nights of my life. In addition to my own inclusion, it showcased two retiring teachers as "the Ancients" and some of the best sketches I've seen. Maybe "Zoom Womb" was funnier, but I stand by picking "Insurance Wars" as my favorite sketch.

10. A Midsummer Night's Dream

This is one heck of a way to kick off the top ten! This play is a breezy, trimmed-down version of the Shakespeare show, with a cool 1920s aesthetic and several noteworthy performances.

9. Fated

As promised, my other unpopular opinion. Look, I know that Fated was a mess behind the scenes, but the product was really good: a sincere, campy, scary, creative zombie apocalypse scenario that I still have fond memories of.

8. Mary Poppins

This was last year's highest-ranked show, but frankly, this year and two years ago just had higher highs. Just, you know, lower lows as well. Anyway, Mary Poppins still had a lot going for it, from a great set to some outstanding performances. And I stand by my Best Performance pick to this day.

7. Newsies

Newsies was the right musical at the right time: a show with a huge cast and dozens of memorable bit parts. It was a success on all fronts, and I don't think anyone will argue with that.

6. Dracula

After all these years, Dracula maintains its status as an excellent work of horror theater. IT changed the way I viewed vampires, and Joey Compton's portrayal of the character remains iconic to this day.

5. Noises Off

Noises Off was a hilarious, old-school comedy. I still remember it as the perfect show to end my career reviewing, without a single unmemorable appearance.

4. Frannie Minkman's Exquisit Bat Mitzvah

Maybe I'm crazy putting this up this high, But Frannie Minkman was just a blast of a show. The interactive elements made it a roaring good time, and I don't think I'll ever forget it.

3. The Love of Three Oranges

The Love of Three Oranges is kind of the perfect mainstage; a comedic show with a large cast and some audience interaction to boot. It was a community event like no other, and frankly I regret my original ranking a bit.

2. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

This school has produced two absolute masterpieces. One of these was One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, which was a hugely entertaining, thematically rich work of great theater. I've covered it a few times before, but I still love this show.

1. Anastasia

Come on. It's Anastasia. It's beautiful, haunting, wonderful — it's a near-perfect musical, and our school did it all the justice it deserves. I've seen professional versions of the show weaker than our school's, and I don't think that's just bias. Look, nothing tops Anastasia — it was just that good.

Guys, this is one of my last articles on the blog. I hope that this site has given you guys as much joy as it's given me over the past three years. And until next time, remember: it began upon a December and it ended with a plate of sardines.

Performing Arts End-Of-the-Year Showcase Ranking

May 20, 2024

In this much-anticipated article, I will be ranking the 2024 BVHS end-of-the-year performing arts showcases. The showcases I will be ranking are: the Band Spring Concert, the Dollies, the Keatons, the Forensice showcase, and the final TigerTV. There are three criteria I will be ranking this on: recognition, how much the ceremony recognizes successful students; showcase, how much the ceremony showcases the program's best talents, especially seniors; and feels, how emotional the ceremony was. Also we're not doing orchestra, because who cares about orchestra? (I swear there's going to be an orchestra kid who'll see this in a couple of years and be really offended. Sorry.)

5. Final Tiger TV

Yeah, I know it's a stretch, but it's my blog, so I'll count it.

Recognition: 1/3. There is no award component to the Final Tiger TV, and this year there wasn't even the traditional senior song.

Showcase: 2/3. The final episode featured a few classic TigerTV segments, and a really good Undercover Boss parody featuring Mr. Golden. But ultimately this episode lacked the medium-pushing innovation that the past few years have promised. From Richard Jackson's work with special effects to my own stop motion work to the music video elements of last month's episode; there has been a lot of interesting work done on TigerTV, which was sadly absent from this final episode.

Feels: 1/3. It was sad seeing the Seniors leave, but I don't think there was a lot of 'feels' involved.

Total: 4/9. A solid final episode, but not as good as last month's and nothing real special.

4. Band Senior Concert

Recognition: 2/3. The concert offered awards to the most deserving parts of the program, but our band program is too big to recognize everyone all that much, and there were no speeches. Not that there could be.

Showcase: 3/3. This concert showcased several of the BVHS band's best ensembles, as well as giving every Senior a solo during "The Roosters Lay Eggs in Kansas". Over all, a great way to showcase every Senior.

Feels: 2/3. They cut out the Senior slideshow, and the event was too professional to be all that sad.

Total: 7/9. A good way to go out.

3. Dollies

Here's the thing: something I've realized this year is that this blog is a record as much as it is a medium for criticism. So with that in mind, I think I should review who won the Dollies:

Best Tech (Fin) went to Michael Muller. Male Jazz Hands (Groot) went to Grant Kozisek. Female Jazz Hands (Doctor Strange) went to Sara Schumacher. Best Supporting Actor (Hawkman) went to Trevor Lewis. Best Supporting Actress (Scarlett Witch) went to Jessica Toomay. Best Actor (Sandman) went to Owen Unrein. Best Actress (Optimus Prime) went to Allie Heidemann. And the National Choral Award (Throne) went to Maia Baiach.

Recognition: 3/3. These awards covered the biggest contributors to the program and musical nicely. Maybe it would have been better to see some award for the set show (Pinnochio) in addition to the tech-focused awards, but that is a minor grievance.

Showcase: 1/3. Okay, I know the Dollies aren't made to showcase program talent. That's the job of the Spring Show. But if you take the Spring Show with the Dollies, that is simply hours and hours of choir, compared to the efficiency of the other programs in getting recognition and showcase into one ceremony.

Feels: 3/3. I cried.

Total: 7/9. A staple of the school.

2. Keatons

Let's start with who won.

Best Tech Head went to Nick Hays for his role as Stage Manager in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Best Comedic Actress went to Lillie Mikuls for Dottie Otley in Noises Off. Best Improver went to Colton Fieger. Best Supporting Actress went to Sara Schumacher for Nurse Flynn in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Best Comedic Actor went to Cy Conaway for Selsdon Mowbray in Noises Off. The Newcomer Award went to Taylor and Sarah as a tie; sorry, I didn't get their last names. Best FNL Writer went to several members of Seventh Hour Rep for "Cuckoosies" (Feet Pics was robbed). Best Supporting Actor went to Bennett Calvert for Chief Bromden in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Best Dramatic Actor went to Henry Monahan for Randall Patrick McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Best Dramatic Actress went to Ashley Brixley-Thatcher for Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Best Ensemble went to Colton Fieger for Ruckly. Best FNL performer went to Andrew Monahan. The Reat Underwood Award went to Sara Schumacher. And Best Tech Member went to Michael Muller and Sagie Snir, I believe for One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Recognition: 3/3. It should be obvious given how many awards there were, and that each winner got to give a short speech.

Showcase: 2/3. This did not showcase huge dramatic acting, and weirdly featured poetry reading? (Less out of place than interpretive dance, I suppose.) There was no light show this year, but we did get to see some fun comedic bits play out.

Feels: 2/3. Didn't make me cry, still hit me.

Total: 7/9. The Keatons are always great.

1. Forensics Showcase

Sorry, I know this is a theater blog, but Riffer knows how to throw a party. Also I was bribed with cake.

Recognition: 3/3. There was a whole hour of awards before the showcase began, and praise was given indulgently throughout.

Showcase: 3/3. This showcase presented the very best of each category of competition.

Feels: 3/3. Ignoring how the duo event definitely made me cry, this event really honored Riffer and the whole program, delivering an emotional farewell that will be hard to forget.

Total: 9/9. This was great.

And until next time, remember:

1. All of society is constantly falling apart and the only way to save it is to be hunched over a laptop.

2. I still have one of the puppets

3. I got shamed out of singing "Happy Birthday" when the choir kids started harmonizing

4. Grainger is alive

5. Hello, fellow kids!

Senior Spotlight: Owen Unrein

May 20, 2024

Okay,  maybe he's already graduated, but I still need to do a spotlight for Owen Unrein, so here we are.

I saved Owen Unrein for last intentionally. Unrein and I have a long history as friends, dating back to the seventh grade; I have known only Henry Monahan longer. I first befriended him during seventh grade math class, which Monahan was, incidentally, also in.

After a minor role in Trap Unrein played half of the two-headed woman in Love of Three Oranges, bringing to the forefront his comedic pairing with Henry Monahan, a frequent staple of Fifth Wall these past three years. Later that year, Unrein became part of another comedic duo, bouncing off of Sara Schumacher in Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon to hilarious effect, wherein he played Narrator #1.

Then came Junior year, which Unrein kicked off by writing the legendary sketch "Stacy's Mom" for FNL. We really don't talk about that one enough. Then, after a minor ensemble role in Mary Poppins, he played Lysander in A Midsummer Night's Dream, acting against the likes of Jenna Ross (who was a blog favorite last year). The only Junior among the four lovers, Unrein held his own with the more experienced actors wonderfully.

Look, I know I didn't give Owen Unrein's performance in Crafting a Killer a great review last year. In his defense, it was a miracle Unrein could perform at all given the health issues he had to deal with that day. I stand by what I wrote then, but I do not think that a bad performance, hampered by influences beyond anyone's control, should act as a statement about Unrein's work ethic, which is perhaps his best trait.

That brings us to this year, where Unrein kicked us off with his role as Reece in Fated, where he played one half of a pair of lovers torn apart by mistrust and fear. Following that came Unrein getting to play Ed "Racetrack" Higgins in Newsies, where he crushed the first act opener King of New York. He played another memorable side character as Chezwick in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, where his off-kilter demeanor proved him a good choice for the masterful mainstage.

Unrein reprised both roles in the second FNL's "Cuckoosies", the sketch that robbed "Feet Pics" of the Keaton. In all seriousness, it's oftentimes the "Cuckoosies" version of the songs that get stuck in my head anyway. He also played Willy Wonka in the highly entertaining opener to that FNL, which was honestly a perfect casting choice.

Unrein's final role, as the abused stage manager Tim Allgood. Here, Unrein portrays a kind, overworked man who feels powerless as his acting troupe falls apart — an impotence experessed dramatically in his catchphrase, "Do something?" Tim is probably my favorite Unrein role, which makes it a good one to go out on.

Unrein's reliability within the program did win him this year's Ashton Barlow Award for Most Tragically Passed-Up. Ben Samuelson, last year's winner, has called it a consistency award, and I think that's pretty accurate. I've often been asked about my criteria for the Ashton Barlow, and I think this is as good a place as any to divulge it. The simplest elements are that the award goes to a Senior who has never won a Best Performance during their career, in spite of coming close on several occasions. I also usually don't give it to Best Sketch winners, either, and I generally try to give the award to people who have been in some of the mainstages. Unrein was in both mainstages, the musical, and performances going back to Sophomore year, but he's never won a Best Performance or Best Sketch — thus, I can think of no better candidate for my last Ashton Barlow.

Go thank a crew member, and until next time, remember: Look at me, I'm the king of the Chez!

Senior Spotlight: Musical Only

May 19, 2024

Alright, time for another composite Senior Spotlight, this one addressing Seniors who were in the musical but not rep theater. Let's start with Ellie Moser, who didn't really have that big of a role in the musicals, but was in the ensemble for Newsies, so that's something.

Next up is Jessica Toomay, who had an ensemble part in Mary Poppins before dropping out of the blue and snagging the (well-deserved) female lead in Newsies. There, she played a relatively one note character, but she injected Katherine "Plumber" with life and energy, enhancing the result.

And who could forget Miles Gelman, who I met three years ago at the Class of 2021's graduation ceremony. Miles and I both play trombone, and we've been friends ever since that fateful afternoon. Anyway, Gelman took a turn for choir this year, playing Specs in Newsies. Maybe he had fewer lines himself than other characters had lines mentioning him, but Gelman was nonetheless an entertaining addition to this bustling ensemble cast.

The real star of the show, of course, was Alyssa Heidemann, who won Best Performance for her part as Metta Larkin in Newsies. Heidemann is, admittedly, a personal friend; I tried to stab her with a pencil freshman year and we've been friends ever since. Anyway, much has been said about Heidemann's Larkin, and I stand by my selection of her for Best Performance, even if it was a close race.

And, that's about it.

Just kidding. I know who you're all here for. He was the star of the show in Newsies. He played an essential character, with an essential thematic arc in which he almost broke ranks with the other newsies but ultimately devoted himself fully to the strike, going from nobody to essential. There is arguably no other actor who made such a big impact on that show.

I am of course talking about Connor McGinnis as Scab #1, the emotional centerpiece of the entire musical. McGinnis is the last of the three scabs to break, but camaraderie and brotherhood win out. This indispensable character, played to perfection by McGinnis, brought the musical together in an important way, elevating it to the position of the second-best musical I've seen at Blue Valley High. McGinnis also played a more comedic character in Darcy, who helped the Newsies access the printing press in the basement of the World building, an incredibly memorable part of the musical's story.

And, as far as I know, that is every Senior of note that was in the musical but didn't do theater.

Go thank a crew member, and, until next time, remember: this blog is entertaining and educational.

Senior Spotlight: Friends from Years Past

May 19, 2024

Okay, I've got three more Senior Spotlights to crank out before we ain't seniors anymore this evening. This is the first of my two composite articles, and here, I want to focus on Seniors who have, during past years, been in theater, but were not in the program this year.

Starting with Madison Brown, who I first met at a Fifth Wall Show. Remember her? Honestly, looking through my blog, all I could find was that she'd written the pretty funny "Backyardigans Murder Mystery" last year. I don't know if she did anything else, but here's your reminder that she existed.

Next up is Ella Hibbard, who I first met during Freshman year gym class. For the past couple of years, this Tabletop Club co-president has studied baking or something like that at Johnson County Community College, but she did have two notable roles sophomore year: she played a dramatic ghost lady in Trap and an aggressively German Gretel in Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon. Wait, does anyone actually remember what the dead lady had to do with the plot of Trap?

And then there's Harrison Jones. Jones did not participate in the program this year, but in previous years had a few major roles. In Brothers Grimm, he played... I actually don't remember, I want to say Rumplestiltskin, but honestly the answer is probably multiple characters. In Trap, he had a minor role too. I think as a generic jock? Again, this was two and a half years ago, so excuse my memory.

Junior year brought to notable roles to Jones; we'll go backwards. Jones briefly played White in Crafting a Killer before dying first and spending the rest of the show manning the booth. But Jones' most important role, by far, was as Oberon in A Midsummer Night's Dream, where he humorously bounced off of Henry Monahan's Puck Hairy and Allie Crawford's Titania, contributing to a fun, breezy night at the theater.

And with that, we reach Jackson Liekhus. Liekhus has won Best Performance twice, both well-deserved. The first was in Trap, wherein he delivered a terrifying monologue that was by far the best part of the show, in that it was entirely disconnected from the main plot. And then there was Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind, where he bribed me into crowd surfing. That's still one of my best memories from this program.

Ultimately, it's unfortunate that we didn't get more of these people onstage, but I am grateful with what we did get, and sometimes schedules or life or whatever makes these things inevitable. Go thank a crew member, and until next time, remember: you were staring at your own eye the whole time.

Senior Spotlight: Henry Monahan

May 18, 2024

Where to begin? I first met Henry Monahan when I was in the second grade and he was in the third, before I skipped a grade, when I sat in on a gifted class he had. Since then, Monahan has been one of my most enduring friendships.

I won't mention some of his Middle School roles because this is a high school blog, but since it's one of his favorites, I should mention that Monahan played Professor Maurice in Descendants. (Maurice is Belle's Dad from Beauty and the Beast.) Sophomore year, Monahan also made both mainstages, playing Ellis from Curse of the Starving Class and the two-headed woman (along with Owen Unrein) from Love of Three Oranges, which was a memorable part of that wonderful show. Quick tangent, but I wish we had more shows like Oranges — mainstage comedies with large ensemble casts, where we can get some of the program's best talent, some non-rep people getting to shine, and some smaller roles for sophomores. That felt like a community experience, and it's still one of my favorite shows to date.

Monahan also joined Fifth Wall that year, where he became an instantly iconic member of the cast, and featured in both Trap and Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon. Focusing on the good one, Monahan played several characters in his role as Actor, an impressive feat for which he won Best Performance.

Then came Junior year, and more characters still. There was the iconic Morbius from the FNL sketch of the same name, which is still my favorite FNL sketch of all time (sorry "Feet Pics"). He also played Nevile Strange in Towards Zero, playing a delightfully naive tennis player who's actually (spoiler) a cold-blooded killer. And then, of course, Puck Hairy, a massively funny part of A Midsummer Night's Dream. I still think about the "Up and Down" sequence sometimes. He ended the year on a solid, though less memorable role: Gray, from Crafting a Killer, who is one of the last characters to die.

And then, Senior year, and three of Monahan's most iconic characters to date. But first, Jack, the world's greatest simp, from Fated, and his tragically beautiful romance with Sadie. Okay, fine, that was one of the cringiest things I've ever watched, but still. The first of Monahan's iconic Senior year characters was Joseph Pulitzer, the villain of Newsies. For someone who's not a choir kid, I really enjoyed his (admittedly short) villain song, "The Bottom Line". Ultimately, he was a really fun part of the show, even if he wasn't in it all that much.

The second iconic Henry Monahan character from this year, and my personal favorite of all time, was Randall Patrick McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Monahan poured his heart and soul into this character, and it's one of the all-time best performances I've seen at this school. I've said it before and I'll say it again — the Blue Valley High School production of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest was a masterpiece.

It's worth noting that Monahan also wrote and performed in some sketches for the second FNL this year, including the absurdist "Wuhu!" and the absolutely legendary bit of theater that was "Zoom Womb". But then came his final performance, and a good one to go out on: Garry, who well, you know... yeah, exactly. Him.

Ultimately, I highly doubt you could find someone who has been as integral to the theater program for the past three years than Henry Monahan. Heck, I was moving through this article at Triple Time speed and it's still one of the longest Senior Spotlight's I've done, just because he's done so much. I really hope I get to see Henry act again one day.

Go thank a crew member, and until next time, remember: the black screen is only slightly less eventful as actual baseball.

Senior Spotlight: Nick Hays

May 17, 2024

I first met Nick Hays, with relatively minimal fanfare, in the lunch room sophomore year. That is the end of that story.

Nick Hays' early career featured some minor roles in Brothers Grimm and Trap, as well as a part as one of the Bumpkins in The Love of Three Oranges.

Junior year, Hays had a few more memorable roles. For FNL, he wrote and appeared in "Chess in Real Life", which was creative, even if it wasn't real funny. He also served as a consistently poor guesser for the improv game "Late For Work" — though I think he got something wild like a banana on wheels in just a couple of guesses one time, which was hilarious.

But Nick Hays' best role was, undoubtedly, Doctor Van Slyke from Crafting a Killer. Crafting a Killer is one of those shows that enjoyed more than most people do, even if doing the same show twice in one night with a different cast each time wasn't a super successful experience. A large part of that was Hays' performance as a menacing, surgical villain — a part he one both Best Performance and Excellence in Villainy for on this blog.

This year, Hays has had a few more notable roles. First was Snyder, a low-level crony of Pulitzer's, to whom he brought a fun, villainous charm. Next was Russ from Fated, where he slowly became a zombie after having his friendship with his best friend tested to its limit — a role for which he won this year's Flavian Doucet Vampire Award.

He was also stage manager in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, where he filled in for human broken mirror Cy Conaway as Martini when he became sick for two nights. Though I still prefer Conaway's performance (which makes sense, because he had way more time to prepare), Nick Hays was able to memorize an absurd number of lines in an absurdly small amount of time and still deliver a mainstage-level performance — a testement to his skill.

Then came FNL, where he somehow got a pervy teacher joke into "FNL Auditions" and created one of the most memorable moments in FNL history (with the help of Lillie Mikuls' writing, credit where credit is due) when he showed up in a maid outfit at the end of "Alpha Female Podcast".

And who could forget Chrys de Latis? Okay, maybe you could and you'd be better for it, but Nick Hays makes a case for remembering it, playing a variety of characters with a really big energy about them.

Ultimately, Nick Hays has been an indispensable pillar of theater at the school these past three years, and I sometimes wish I'd talked about him more on this blog. Oh well, that's what the spotlights are for. Go thank a crew member, and until next time, remember: if you see a coworker at your secret government assassin program wearing a red cap, maybe ask for his credentials.

Senior Spotlight: Bennett Calvert

May 17, 2024

BENNETT!!! Bennett Calvert is a legend in the theater department, even if much of his work has taken place behind the scenes. Calvert has frequently served as a stage manager for shows, more so than an actor. One of his first stage manager jobs was his sophomore year, for Anastasia. But don't think he didn't get any stage time, because he briefly played the photographer who took the last picture of the Romanovs — if you look in the 2021 - 2022 archives, I actually have an article that identifies this character as Swiss photographer Frederick Boasson, who remains one of my favorite Calvert characters to date.

Junior year, Calvert's main onstage presence came as an MC in Fifth Wall, where he was a ton of fun and helped make last year's improv show so good. And he continued stage managing, including acting as head stage manager during Mary Poppins. Speaking to those who have worked with him, Calvert has been described as a consistently uplifting and professional presence on set.

This year, though, Calvert began branching out, beginning with Newsies, where he played one of the DeLancy Brothers, even interacting with audience members before the show and during intermission. I've already shared this story in my review of that show, but during Saturday intermission, when I mentioned that the newspaper declaring the Newsies strike didn't actually have an article about the Newsies on it. Without missing a beat, Calvert said, "That's Mr. Pulitzer, working his magic." He also participated in this year's pick for Best Fight Scene.

And then: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest was a masterpiece of theater, the best play I've seen at this school. And Bennett Calvert, my pick for Best Performance, was a big part of that; he did win a Keaton for the role, and it's my personal favorite Calvert role. But I've already said quite a bit about that performance, so let's move on.

That brings us to Tracks, where he played a businessman quite commendably. Calvert served as a great support for the younger actors in that show, helping round out the one-act. And then, Calvert's final two roles, in Ten Minutes Plays: Doctor Alton, the pro-AI CEO, and Mark, the, uh... well, both are very good performances, even if Mark made my skin crawl.

Of course, I cannot forget his various comedic moments at the Keatons, which were always memorable.

Anyway, go thank a crew member, and until next time, Beeennneeetttttt.

Senior Spotlight: Ashley Brixley-Thatcher

May 12, 2024

I first met Ashley Brixley-Thatcher in AP World History. I don't think she even reads this blog, but I still think it's important that she be recognized for all the stuff she's sone.

I gotta be honest, my memory of sophomore year is somewhat lacking; Brixley-Thatcher was in Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon as a girl, as well as the miller's granddaughter, but those roles were relatively minor.

I know she attended a different school for a portion of last year, so she wasn't in any shows.

Which brings us to this year, where we had two Brixley-Thatcher roles of significance. But we're going to go in reverse chronology here, because this is my blog and it's better that way. The last role she had this year was minor, playing Cici's daughter Molly in "Non-Disclosure Agreement", though she also directed the play. In Tracks, she gave a heartbreaking portrayal of an overworked businesswoman who will never get to see her family again.

The real highlight of Brixley-Thatcher's career, and the one she won a Keaton for, though, was Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. She played a despicable villain really well, and she's a big part of the reason why One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is so special, why it's one of the best shows this program has ever done. On this blog, she won Excellence in Villainy for the part.

Brixley-Thatcher has only had a few roles at BVHS, but she's certainly left her mark on the program. Her role as Nurse Ratched will probably continue to be remembered as one of the most iconic performances of this year. And until next time, remember: unanimous voting never works.

Senior Spotlight: Hayden Hughes

May 12, 2024

I'm pretty sure I met Hayden Hughes during a game of mafia in the seventh grade. After playing Lord Farquaad in our 8th grade production of Shrek: The Musical, Hayden Hughes began his high school career as Jafar in Descendants. You think I forgot about that show? To the contrary, my friends, I did not. Hughes played a fun background villain, to say the least. He also had a small role in Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon sophomore year. I think he played Hansel? Honestly, I can hardly remember, it's been a long time. And if he was in Trap, I really don't remember, sorry.

Junior year, Hughes had a minor role in FNL, as well as playing several roles in Ten-Minute Plays. The most memorable of these was probably as a trader in "Early-Stage Capitalism", but he was all over that play. The real highlight, though, came as Franz in Rock of Ages, wherein he and Myah Dobbins stole the show with a believable romance that, along with Dylan Casey and Barak Snir's characters, upstaged the supposed protagonists of the musical. Yeah, that show bore the mainstage musical curse of not being good.

Then, this year, Hughes had a single role of note, that being the Boy and Uncle in some scenes in Chrys de Latis. I'm a little disappointed we didn't see more of him this year, but what we got with his charmingly villainous Uncle was well worth it. He was under consideration for Best Performance, actually.

So that's Hayden Hughes; my favorite Hughes performance is still probably Franz, just because he is charming and sweet. Yeah, Hughes tends to play villains, but he really works as a likable underdog anti-villain. And until next time, remember: Jafar died in the direct-to-DVD sequel, guys. 

Senior Spotlight: Sara Schumacher

May 10, 2024

I know I've made some jokes about Sara Schumacher's lack of lines in these shows, but I honestly think she's an underrated actress, and I'm glad she received some much-needed recognition at the Keatons. Schumacher's first major role in BVHS (and my second-favorite of hers) theater was the wonderful of Narrator #1 in Brother's Grimm Spectaculathon, where she bounced off Owen Unrein as Narrator #1 to spectacular effect. Also, I think she had a minor role in The Love of Three Oranges. My memory is a little fuzzy.

Junior year she was memorable for playing... a bunch of characters in Crafting a Killer and a surprisingly intimidating Oscar the Grouch in Cy Conaway's "CSI Sesame Street" during FNL. (I swear, some alien probably found that green make-up offensive.) Yeah, they didn't give her much to do that year.

This year has easily been Schumacher's best. In Fated, she played the part of Sadie in her epic, operatic love story with Jack. Their love story was sweeping and romantic and not even a little bit cringy. Also she fell into a pool. Just thought I'd mention that. In Newsies, she got to play a side roll in Newsies as Spot Conlon, the leader of the Brooklyn newsies, and even got to sing a few lines on her own. That's a real step up from playing second fiddle to an already minor character in Mary Poppins, eh?

Following those came her roles in the mainstages, which brought two of the most iconic Sara Schumacher characters to life. The first is Nurse Flynn from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, who gained a lot of attention for her strong characterization as a woman completely dominated by her boss. During the second performance, I paid special attention to that character, and there's a special sort of catharsis when, in the final scene, Flynn stares daggers at Ratched without the slightest hint of fear that had controlled her very being up until that point.

My personal preference, though, is for Poppy Norton-Taylor, the stealth protagonist of Noises Off. She's a victim of Lloyd's abuses, her only sources of sympathy being the equally abused Tim and the maternal peacemaker (or maybe ruthless manipulator?) Belinda. This is my favorite Sara Schumacher role, and Schumacher brings... you know what? Performance good. I've been trying to come up with different ways to say 'performance good' for three years and it's only gotten harder. So yeah, performance good, Sara good, Poppy good. Good all around. Great way to end her career at the school.

Oh and she also did improv this year where she was an MC. She was good at it.

Okay, that's what I've got for you. Go thank a crew member, go thank Sara Schumacher because she's done some good stuff, and until next time, remember: Sara Schumacher is presenting a case for the importance of a good HR department, one show at a time.

Celebrating Tax-Funded Make-Believe at the Keatons, One Last Time

May 9, 2024

Tuesday's Keaton awards were really fun. They featured everything you love to see in a Keatons: a hard-hitting celebrity roast, a Daily Campfire reference, a parody musical number, some running gags, that one super-serious artistic performance that throws off the tone, and a really good recognition of all the great people in the BVHS theater department.

I think that the Keatons do a lot of things that this blog can't. I try to give an audience impression, but ultimately I don't know most of the theater kids as much as they know each other. My blog, in spite of me frequently ending articles with "go thank a crew member", has an actor-focused perspective; I cannot put the focus on tech that I wish I could, because I can't see that perspective. The Keatons, on the other hand, had a few tech awards to give out, giving recognition to the people who are often forgotten. Really, I think that Sagie Snir's acceptance speech on the topic was one of the most memorable of the night because it captured how important these jobs are to the program.

Additionally, the Keatons can recognize aspects of the program I can't. The Reat Underwood Award, for example, touches on an aspect of the program I, as an outsider, can't really judge. Furthermore, the Supporting and Ensemble awards allow for a focus on less visible actors. Sure, I do have a tendency to pick supporting actors for Best Performance, but I can't recognize everyone. Take Cuckoo's Nest; picking a Best Performance for that show was agonizingly difficult. Six different awards, five of them performance awards, were won for that show, and honestly they all could have won Best Performance for those performances in a lesser show.

On the other hand, there are things this blog can do that the Keaton's can't. Daily Campfire Reviews goes year round, whereas the Keatons come at the end of the year. And I can pay more attention to Rep Shows. Ignoring the FNL awards, no Keaton award this year went to a rep show. Yet through my format, I was able to recognize a best performance for each. The most recognition Ten Minute Plays got during the Keatons was that puppet show, which is a shame, even if the puppet show was awesome.

Every year at the Keatons, Mr. Yarnell has to pick a Theater Student of the Year. And every year, he bemoans the fact that he only gets to recognize one. And while I do think that Grant Kozisek definitely deserved the award, I also agree that the entire Senior class is worthy of recognition. That's why I'm doing these Senior Spotlight articles, because I think that everyone deserves to be recognized.

Anyway, I'm glad to have been a part of this thing. I'm still churning out Senior Spotlights as fast as I can so that I can get to everyone, and I've still got a three-year Grand Ranking to put out. Go thank a crew member, go thank a castmate, and go thank Yarnell, because none of this would be possible without him. And until next time, remember: "Feet Pics" was robbed.

Dannon Mwangi on Noises Off

May 9, 2024

Ever wondered, with how much the crew watches a show they must have some steller takes on the show? Well you're in luck!

How did Danonn feel when they were working on this show? Very pleased they had taken their Adderall, because I wanted to focus for every last bit of this show.

Noises Off at BV High was a hilarious trip through some of my favorite senior performances of the year (and Junior shout out Lillie), anyone who's familiar with the source material would know it's a very professional take on Yarnell's favorite comedy.

If you've just finished watching the show and you're wondering "I just laughed until my voice was gone for two hours  and witnessed the most confusing love nonagon to have  existed let me break it down.

Act One

Belinda and Slesdon are our single pringles. Freddie's wife left him which isn't realvent but who doesn't want to be included. Gary and Dotty are going steady, and Lloyd dare judge when he himself is a two timing cheeky little bugger who's courting both Poppy and Brooke.

Act Two (gazuntite!)

Here's where it all starts to fall apart, Gary and Dotty are squablling in the dressjng rooms. Gary is jealous of Freddie because of the way he interacts with Dotty but Dotty is just an old lady being sweet and she doesn't mean anything by it. Freddie, the poor half-wit, loves a good grave digging so he confesses to Belinda that he spent an evening chatting with Dotty sending Belinda in a "protective"rage. Brooke is threatening to leave the show so cheater cheater pumpkin eater Lloyd goes to comfort her while Poppy has something interesting to tell him, a baby is afoot!

Act Three

Belinda and Dotty's beef has aged like a dry-aged steak. Belinda thinks Dotty's attemping to court Freddie and Dotty thinks Belinda is being a little overprotective to a guy she is dating I mean after all, "[SHE]DON'TOWNHIMY'KNOW!!!". Gary falls down the stairs and the realize they need to hash it out. After Lloyd enters he's renderd speechless and forced to "marry" both Brooke and Poppy. Finally, the couple I was rooting for the most was Selsdon and his true love a good old bottle of warm apple juice. What i wouldn't do for that... sardines Sardines.

Detour aside, Frankly, there wasn't a performance in this show I didn't like.  From Lillie Mikuls hilarious take on Dotty to one of the most ridiculous bits I've ever seen Henry Monahan do; I love this show top to bottom.

You don't need me to tell you that this show was good, from the crew side I really loved Cy Conaway's professionalism throughout the whole process and his dedication to the role.

So that's my two cents! Danonn Mwangi, over and out.

Fancasting A Christmas Carol Using Juniors in Theater

May 8, 2024

No, that wasn't a typo. We're doing a fancast with Juniors, due to popular demand. Unlike the Seniors, the class of 2025 (wow, that feels weird to say) is a more female-dominated group, making it tricky to find a thing to fancast them for. Ultimately, I decided on A Christmas Carol, which is my favorite book of all time, in spite of its admittedly confusing timeline. If you don't know the story of A Christmas Carol, it's about a miserly old banker named Ebenezer Scrooge, who, on Christmas Eve, is visited by a series of three spirits, of past present, and future. In the process, Ebenezer learns kindness and ultimately opens up his heart to the people around him.

Ready to go? Let's do it.

Ebenezer Scrooge

Ebenezer Scrooge starts as a mean, money-grubbing old banker without a drop of love in his heart. And while none of the Junior boys have had a role I could exactly call mean, I think it's best I give this role to Colton Fieger, who's one of the strongest actors in the program. He could do some fun things with this role.

Bob & Emily Cratchit

Bob Cratchit is a concerned but kindly father, small and reserved but full of love. As Scrooge's clerk, he is low-paid and meager, but he is rich in love in a way that Scrooge never has been. This role is well-suited for Jordan Shah, and I think he could take on the iconic character with a delicate lovability.

If you're willing to double cast, you could also give Shah the role of Mr. Fezzywig, Scrooge's old boss; what kind of show makes Jordan Shah something other than a kindly authority figure? (We're ignoring New Trap Chrys de Latis.)

Bob's wife, Emily, I'll give to Lily Porter. I'll be honest, I don't have a real clear memory of who that is, but my friends assure me she exists, and apparently she wrote FNL 1's "Couples Therapy". Sorry, Lily, I feel really bad for not knowing who you are.

Tiny Tim

I'm going to cheat and say that Nolan Stewart should play Tiny Tim, Bob Cratchit's young, ill son who will die unless Scrooge intervenes. I mean, he's Nolan Stewart, come on.

Jacob Marley

Jacob Marley is Scrooge's old business partner who died several years before the beginning of the story. He visits Scrooge as a ghost, revealing what his fate will be if he does not change — to be forced to walk the earth in chains as a ghost after death. But Marley also offeres Scrooge a chance at salvation, and I've always suspected that in redeeming Scrooge, Marley may find his own peace. For this role, I think Joey Dioszeghy is the way to go: he could ham it up as a spooky ghost.

Ghost of Christmas Past

The first of the three ghosts is the Ghost of Christmas Past, who is most often depicted as female. For this role, I think Lillie Mikuls could bring the necessary ethereal quality to the character to make a lasting impression.

Ghost of Christmas Present

The Ghost of Christmas Present is generally depicted as a large, jovial man. I think we're going to have to ignore the look and do a gender swap, but if we're going for someone jovial, likable, and entertaining, I think that Myka Beck would be a good pick for this role.

Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is generally depicted as a hooded figure with a single line: "Ebenezer Scrooge". You could do a lot of things with this character; personally, I like the idea of pulling an Offerings and making him Yarnell. If you were willing to do a double cast, then Mary Putthoff may be a good choice for this, which adds an interesting extra layer given who else I cast her as.

Belle

Ah yes, Scrooge's lost love, the one who slowly saw the man she loved slip away into a money-obsessed monster. She's an important, if often forgotten, part of the story. If it's not clear, I'm going to pick Mary Putthoff for this, mostly because of her role in "Time-Fighter".

Fred

Fred is Scrooge's poor but social nephew; he and his wife, Lily, whom Scrooge does not care for, are seen holding a Christmas party and making fun of Scrooge. For the role of Fred, I'd pick Tyler Thalblum; I think he could be fun.

Fan

Scrooge's sister plays an important role in the story, even if she's only seen in flashback. I think you could give this role to Hannah Gold, and maybe double cast her as Fred's wife Lily if you wanted.

There you go. Fan cast for Juniors. Boom.

Senior Spotlight: Cy Conaway

May 7, 2024

Sometimes you just know you're going to like someone before you even meet them. That was my experience with Cy Conaway, who is, according to the internet, the only person on the planet with that exact name. I first met Conaway after The Love of Three Oranges, one of the best shows this school has ever put on. That was the year Yarnell was obsessed with drag, so Conaway played the princess in the third orange. We met at that show or soon after and became fast friends.

Conaway's Junior year marked his entry into the world of improv, when he joined Fifth Wall, in which he was a highlight. His most notable contribution to that year's FNL was writing "CSI: Sesame Street" which was a pretty entertaining sketch in a decent FNL. Following that, he received a role in last year's mainstage, Towards Zero, serving as one of the bright spots in a mixed bag of a production. Rounding out the year, Conaway won his first Best Performance for his role as Nick Bottom in A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Come Senior year, Conaway had memorable role after memorable role. He started off strong with a second Best Performance as Dewey in the critically acclaimed show Fated, becoming only the third actor in the program to win two Best Performances, as well as the first in the class of 2024. Conaway had a bit part in Newsies, and then came One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, unfortunately, Conaway fell ill during the last two nights of the show, having to be replaced with Nick Hays. While I thought Hays did a remarkable job filling in last minute, I think it would be a shame to forget Conaway's Martini — a performance I was fortunate enough to see. Conaway brought a fun energy to the character, and though Hays did commendably, something was lost in the recast.

But another chance to shine soon presented itself, this time in Chrys de Latis, where Conaway had several memorable scenes: he played the witch at one point, was the actor featured in the one-man show scene, and was one of the best Uncles in the show. He was a good choice for these roles, serving as a reliable backbone for the show.

Conaway was then featured at the desk alongside Sammy Robertson in the last Friday Night Live this year. The two brought back the rapport they had in A Midsummer Night's Dream to great effect, even if some of the guest segments could have been better.

And then came Conaway's final show: Noises Off. Here, he played the goofy drunk Selsdon, a fan-favorite character who never failed to get laughs. It was a good performance to end his career on, and a memorable final night.

And that's Cy Conaway. With one of the most robust and memorable careers we've covered, not to mention a plethora of mainstage roles, Conaway has proven his merits as a performance actor.

And until next time, remember: Dewey said that in another timeline, Dewey would have been infected and Russ would be the one who made it to the end. That alternate timeline is One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Reviewing Every King Arthur Movie: The 70s

The 70s were a bleak and sparse decade for Arthurian cinema. Only three movies of the sort were made; those being a low-budget adaptation of Gawain and the Green Knight; a farcical parody; and a science-fiction Connecticut Yankee adaptation. You thought we were done with those? No, my friends, we haven’t even gotten to the Whoopi Golberg one yet!

Anyway, let’s get on with the reviews.

Gawain and the Green Knight (1973)

On the one hand, this movie is bad. On the other hand, it does it so well.

Gawain and the Green Knight adapts the poem of the same name. Basically, Gawain, Arthur’s nephew, plays a game with the legendary Green Knight: he can strike the knight however he pleases, but in one year, the knight will deliver the same blow back. Gawain decapitates the Green Knight, who promptly picks up his head, reattaches it, and tells Gawain that he’ll see him in one year.

The movie follows the same formula, but the interjecting story is largely based off of the story of Gawain’s younger brother Gareth. On the one hand, the movie is dreadfully boring, with strange and nonsensical side plots that do more to confuse than clarify. It’s almost a 1/4. Almost.

Because the movie’s charm is just strong enough to save it; there’s a tender romance with a likable love interest; the mystical isle of Lyonesse is portrayed in a dream-like way that I quite enjoyed; Gawain’s coming-of-age story is a strong throughline; and the score is really good. Honestly, the music alone elevates this film pretty far.

This movie is an enigma. Just as I’m enjoying it, it gets convoluted and boring again, and just when I’m about to give up on liking it, it has a fun character or interesting scene.

Finale Score: 2/4. It’s a bad movie, but it’s charming enough to be watchable.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

Okay, I’m going to let it out. Three, two, one: Monty Python and the Holy Grail is overrated.

I know, I know, you’re going to hang me for saying this. But the movie is a collection of decently entertaining sketches with weak connective tissue. As a whole film, it’s not amazing, especially on first watch.

But then it sticks with you. You remember the sketches, and the best lines, and soon you’re quoting it in spite of yourself. And on second watch, the pacing issues seem to dissipate. Then again, when you’ve just seen Gawain and the Green Knight and Willy McBean, the awkward pacing of Monty Python and the Holy Grail starts to feel brisk and quick.

It’s just that everyone thinks they’re so clever and unique for liking one of the most well-known Arthur films of all time. This is a popular movie, and liking it is understandable but kind of basic.

The movie does very little to parody the actual contents of Arthurian legend. The only two sketches that actually parody the legend are the peasant’s protests of the monarchy and the castle to test Galahad’s chastity, which is the only individual Grail Quest to be taken from the legend. Then again, the actual legend of the Grail Quest features a bunch of side tangents, most of which not leading anywhere, so it’s understandable.

Actually, this is really the first film to adapt the Grail Quest. Sure, Knights of the Round Table used the Holy Grail, but this film is the first to depict an active quest for it.. And all of the knights used, with the exception of Sir Robin and Sir Not Appearing in this Film, are real Arthurian knights. And Sir Robin’s whole not quite as brave as Lancelot thing might be a reference to Sir Tristan of legend constantly having to admit that he’s only the second strongest Knight of the Round Table.

Still, this movie does work better as a parody of Arthur in film, poking fun at the pseudo-historical setting and self-seriousness of its predecessors. The Camelot musical number is probably an homage to 1967’s Camelot. Ultimately, I think that that movie is the one this film pokes the most fun at.

Final Score: 3/4. I respect this movie and its cultural impact more than I particularly enjoy it.

Unidentified Flying Oddball (1979)

I cannot fathom why this movie has such a low Rotten Tomatoes score. A delightful comedy, Unidentified Flying Oddball is another Connecticut Yankee adaptation, this one with a science fiction bent and a degree of Disney optimism. The movie begins by hand-waving the invention of faster-than-light travel in order to explain the protagonist, astronaut Tom Trimple, traveling back in time to Arthur’s court. A looser adaptation than the two previous, I think it has its own merits. For one thing, it’s the most colorful live-action movie so far, with vivid costuming and beautiful visuals that makes Camelot come to life. Mordred, Arthur, Merlin, and the rest are each given iconic looks, and the main character is the perfect evolution of ‘31’s everyman underdog. The protagonist is inventive and nerdy but romantic and charming, your classic 70s movie protagonist. The love interest is missing a few screws, but it makes her one of the most memorable love interests so far in these movies. And who could forget the android character?

Final Score: 3/4. It won’t change your life, but it’s a fun and breezy comedy nonetheless.

And that’s the 70s. They didn’t quite have the high points of the 60s, but still a few solid entries. While the early King Arthur movies were glorified adventure serials and the 60s tried to take a more sweeping, romantic look at the legend, the 70s played fast and loose with the story, bringing a new level of satire to the story. But the 80s are upon us, and with them, the darkest, most explicit Arthur movie yet: Excalibur.

Senior Spotlight: Sammy Robertson

May 3, 2024

My first encounter with Sammy Robertson was during Latin 1 freshman year. Since then I have had Latin with her every year for the past four years, and she has frequently served as a source of internal news within the theater community.

Though she had a brief role in Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon, Robertson's first major role in the program was as a frequent MC in Fifth Wall her Junior year. She later received the role of Peter Quince in A Midsummer Night's Dream, also starring in my iconic Broadcast I promo for the show. Say what you will about my Junior year, but two things immediately come to mind when I think about that year, and one of them is A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Anyway, Robertson's next major role was as Abigail in Fated, one of the last survivors in the play, in which she delivered a highly emotional performance that marks my favorite Robertson role. Aside from briefly playing the Witch in Chrys de Latis, Robertson's next major role saw her at the "Weeknight Update" desk in this year's second FNL, where she bounced off Cy Conaway to great effect.

Robertson's final role was in Noises Off as Belinda Blair, the show's secret villain. You cannot persuade me otherwise. Playing the role as maternal and caring, she proved herself a worthwhile inclusion in the show.

And that's Sammy Robertson, in all of her glory. A handful of stand out roles, including a mainstage. It's also worth noting that, according to rumor, she made some major contributions to the Fated Script, and that and her FNL desk work indicates that her writing is not to be underestimated.

Anyway, until next time, remember: If all of your friends get eaten by zombies, at least you're a shoe-in for the mainstage.

Senior Spotlight: Austin Casey

May 3, 2024

I first met Austin Casey at band camp last year, where he was in the battery section. The younger brother of two prominent actors from years past, expectations were high for Casey's own career at the school. And he did not disappoint. Casey's first role of note was Snug the Joiner, who plays a lion in Peter Quince's play. Austin's lion roar was a memorable part of that show, though only a glimpse at Casey's future success. Casey also had a minor role in Crafting a Killer as... well, a bunch of characters.

Casey's career had more notable moments this year. I admit I don't recall if he was in Fated; if he was, I must have missed his scenes. Anyway, Casey's first notable role this year (and his first role of real significance) was in Chrys de Latis, where he knocked the Reader's Theater scene out of the park and took home Best Performance for that show. (There's no actual trophy, it's just a figure of speech.)

After that, Casey had a larger part to play in this year's second FNL. His most notable roles were as the doctor in "Zoom Womb", where he got to deliver the hilarious final line, and as the comedic straight man of Wikipedia in "A.I.s with Knowledge".

Casey's BVHS theater career has been sparse but memorable. He came from the blue like a raptor, swiped up a Best Performance, and will now vanish back into the sky once more. And that's what there is to say about that. And until next time, remember: Wikipedia is always right.

Senior Spotlight: Myah Dobbins

May 1, 2024

I first met Myah Dobbins in Mr. Dollins' advisory class, which you can read about in an earlier article. Originally from Idaho, Dobbins began her career at Blue Valley in choir, joining theater her sophomore year. Dobbins has a bit of a reputation for being a blog favorite. Trademark features of Dobbins' performances include an excellent singing voice and a sarcastic smile, sometimes accompanied by a classic head tilt.

This really began with her theater career during her Junior year. She had a minor role in that year's FNL, but her big debut really came in Rock of Ages. While that show was fairly weak overall, Dobbins was a standout for playing a believable romance with Hayden Hughes's character and for her excellent singing, which has always been one of her strengths.

That already brings us to this year, wherein Dobbins demonstrated that she could hold her own with the best in the program. She came out swinging with the first Friday Night Live, where her iconic sketch "Feet Pics" won Best Sketch for the show (and later the whole year) and became the most memorable sketch from my time at BVHS with the sole possible exception of "Morbius". For better or worse, the sketch is now a permanent part of her reputation and legacy.

After this, Dobbins was cast in her first rep show, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, where she played the somewhat corrupt orderly Turkle. It was a small but memorable role, to be followed by bigger ones. She was a highlight in Tracks, playing a homeless woman with notable complexity. She was almost entirely absent from Ten Minute Plays, only appearing in the play she wrote, "Human Cooperative 2089", which tackled questions of Artificial Intelligence and its role in society, as well as free will. Her final show, the spring comedy Noises Off, had one of her largest parts yet as Brooke, the shallow, temperamental, half-blind actress carrying on a secret affair with the director. She plays the role with charm and, at points, sympathy, when she suffers the brunt of Lloyd's abuse.

Myah Dobbins hasn't always had the biggest parts in theater shows, but when she has been allowed to shine her charm and with have come through every time. And as a writer, she has demonstrated a compelling streak of bizarre creativity. And until next time, remember: Who really cares about the head, shoulders, or knees?

Senior Spotlight: Grant Kozisek

May 1, 2024

Since it's my last year doing reviews for the blog, I figured it was a good idea to spotlight some fellow seniors in their stories at the school. These won't be a comprehensive list of all the roles they've served, just a few spotlights from an imperfect memory.

The obvious person to start with for this series is Grant Kozisek. Picture this: it was the height of COVID; I'd had almost no contact with my friends for months. Desperate for socialization, I clung to the pale blue light of an iPhone 7, watching the livestream version of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Abridged. The audio quality was awful, and the video was blurry and shaky. It didn't matter. This was my first experience with the BVHS Theater department, and I absolutely loved it. Grant Kozisek, a freshman at the time, had somehow won a coveted spot in a mainstage comedy, delivering an engaging performance that ultimately launched a highly successful high school theater career.

That's part of why I wanted to start with Kozisek: he's a part of my origin story, even if he didn't know that at the time. Kozisek would go on to have relatively minor roles in Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon and Trap, but the real highlight of his sophomore year was improv. Frequently serving as the wild card in Pan Left Pan Right, he earned the nickname "Pan Center" from me and absolutely nobody else. At the end of the year Kozisek earned the well-deserved position of Junior Improvador for his dynamic creativity onstage.

Kozisek had a larger number of roles his Junior year, including minor roles in Towards Zero and Rock of Ages, but for me there were two iconic moments for Kozisek during this time. The first is his parody of the rock musical SIX during Friday Night Live, as well as his starring role in "Ding Dong Dating", which still has one of the funniest endings to a sketch I've seen, thanks in large part to Kozisek's earnest delivery. The second, perhaps more notable role was Valentine, one of my favorite Kozisek characters. Valentine was the prized doll of Jane Banks in Mary Poppins, and after being mistreated by the girl, he gets the nightmare-inducing number "Playing the Game". Kozisek's portrayal of the doll is one of the most memorable moments in the musical, and was a sign of larger things to come. Meanwhile, Kozisek's increasing leadership within the Fifth Wall group led to increased variety in the shows near the end of that year.

Senior year marked several milestones for Kozisek before his final curtain. He received a major role in Newsies as sympathetic sidekick Crutchie. While I've never really been a fan of the character, it cannot be denied that Kozisek's portrayal did him justice. Another role that has followed Kozisek like a curse for the past few months was his role as the old man in feet pics, where he revealed his glorious toes for all to see. Kozisek played Dale Harding in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, a self-serious character that marked a dramatic turn for the generally comedic actor. From this point on, Kozisek shifted to directing; most notably in his direction of Tracks, which was by all accounts highly successful. He also directed the Mary Putthoff play "Time-Fighters", which I'm increasingly appreciating for its abstract execution on themes. He acted in that play as well, earning himself his first Best Performance.

Even when he wasn't directing, he was pretending to, playing Lloyd Dallas in Noises Off, a role he won Best Performance for. This made him the sixth actor to win Best Performance twice, the third to win twice in one year, and the first to win in two consecutive shows. As the last Best Performance winner during my tenure at the blog, Grant's journey and mine have arguably come full circle since William Shakespeare.

Outside of theater, Kozisek is notable for his role in the forensics program. I've only seen him do forensics (which is the preferred verbage, I promise) once, though I do intend to attend the Forensics Showcase on May 14th.

And until next time, remember: for your own safety, do not under any circumstances call Grant a ginger.

Passing My AP Test with Theater Shows

March 1, 2024

The AP Literature exam's final question is an essay prompt, in which the student is given the following task: "Either from your own reading or from the following list, choose a work of fiction" that contains a designated literary element. "Then, in a well-written essay, analyze how" that element of the text "contributes to an interpretation of the work as a whole." For this question, students are free to select any text the want, as long as the work is a novel, play, or epic poem of literary merit. Questions of literary merit vary, but it got me wondering: could you use Blue Valley High School's theater line-up from the past few years to answer the prompt?

Well, for a fun article to finish up with as we approach the AP Exams, I've decided to write some sample theses in response to previous prompts using the plays performed at this school. I won't use musicals or FNLs; my goal is to present a serious answer to each prompt using shows this school has done, and while I think that musicals can have interesting themes, I think that we're pushing the boundaries of what's acceptable already. With that in mind, let's answer some prompts. Because why not?

Keep in mind that I'm not doing full essays here, just the first paragraph with the theses, because this is just for fun and practice.

• 2023: In many works of literature, characters choose to reinvent themselves for significant reasons. They may wish to separate from a previous identity, gain access to a different community, disguise themselves from hostile forces, or express a more authentic sense of self. Either from your own reading or from the following list, choose a work of fiction in which a character intentionally creates a new identity. Then, in a well-written essay, analyze how the character’s reinvention contributes to an interpretation of the work as a whole.

In the play Crafting a Killer by Brent Holland, the character of Red is forced to reinvent themself in order to gain access to an elite government community, and their ability to completely separate from their previous identity is contrasted against the other characters' inability to do so, emphasizing the play's theme of changing to survive.

• 2023: Many works of literature feature a rebel character who changes or disrupts the existing state of societal, familial, or political affairs in the text. They may break social norms, challenge long-held values, subvert expectations, or participate in other forms of resistance. The character’s motivation for this rebellious behavior is often complex. Either from your own reading or from the list below, choose a work of fiction in which a character changes or disrupts the existing state of societal, familial, or political affairs. Then, in a well-written essay, analyze how the complex motivation of the rebel contributes to an interpretation of the work as a whole.

In the play version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Dale Wasserman, the character of Randall McMurphy acts as a rebel who disrupts the status quo of the mental ward he is confined in. McMurphy's rebelliousness, originating in both a personal desire for freedom and empathy for the other patients, reveals the power of comradery in the face of oppression.

• 2022: Many works of literature feature characters who accept or reject a hierarchical structure. This hierarchy may be social, economic, political, or familial, or it may apply to some other kind of structure. Either from your own reading or from the list below, choose a work of fiction in which a character responds to a hierarchy in some significant way. Then, in a well-written essay, analyze how that character’s response to the hierarchy contributes to an interpretation of the work as a whole.

In the play version of Noises Off by Michael Frayn, hierarchy serves as a tool for theatrical director Lloyd to mistreat his crew and actors and hold undue power over them. Lloyd's enforcement and use of the hierarchy underpins how hierarchical systems of power can be abused, to the detriment of those at the bottom of the hierarchy.

• 2021: In many works of fiction houses take on symbolic importance. Such houses may be literal houses or unconventional ones (e.g., hotels, monasteries, or boats). Either from your own reading or from the list below, choose a work of fiction in which a literal or unconventional house serves as a significant symbol. Then, in a well-written essay, analyze how this house contributes to an interpretation of the work as a whole.

In the esteemed, anonymously written play Fated, the college setting serves symbolically as a house for the character of Dewey. By tying his identity to Russ, Dewey chose the college setting as his house and home, leading to fateful consequences when the college becomes a prison. This interplay between choices and identity, with the school serving as a symbol of Dewey's chosen identity in connection to Russ, creates a commentary on how choices can solidify into irreversible consequences.

So for those of you taking the AP Literature test, either next week or later this year, consider using one of these plays for your open-ended question. But don't actually, because that's a huge gamble. But if you do you're kind of a legend.

BVHS 2023 - 2024 FINAL THEATER RANKING

April 30, 2024

Here we are: the end. A final ranking to determine the best shows the year. The Golden Globes to the Keatons' Oscars. Welcome, friends, to the third annual Campfire Awards!

This season had more good shows than any previous year; it doesn't quite reach the same heights as the 2021 - 2022 season, but thankfully avoids that year's lows for what I would consider the best theater season I've seen at this school.

We're gonna rank the shows, and as we go, we're going to identify each show's Best Performance, or, in the case of FNLs, the show's Best Sketch, as well as an overall Best Sketch. Additionally, we have a few other awards to hand out: Best Romance, Best Kiss, Best Fight Scene, Best Death, Best Set Design, Champion Curtain Call, the Flavian Doucet Vampire Award, Excellence in Villainy, Worst Director's Choice, Best Director's Choice, and the Ashton Barlow Award for Most Tragically Passed Up.

Are you as excited as I am? Let's go.

10. Chrys de Latis

I don't think anyone didn't see this one coming. Chrys de Latis is a hot mess, but it's our hot mess, and for that I kind of love it. With a confusing plot but some entertaining scenes, this play adopts an extremely high concept format that utilizes the history of theater, yet has nothing to say about the medium and exists soley as a gimmick show. That said, there were some good scenes with a decent villain.

Best Performance

If I had a nickel for every time a Casey won Best Performance for the weakest show of his senior year, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. Most of the better performances in this show (Conaway and Hughes come to mind) are for the uncle villain character, but in the Reader's Theater section, Austin Casey nails the Uncle's menace and charm.

Worst Director's Choice

Technically, because this was written by Yarnell, this entire show was a choice by the director. So yeah, I'm just giving this to the whole dang show. Sorry, it didn't work.

9. Offerings

Offerings was an interesting show that presented an unusual concept with little payoff. I like what Yarnell did with the overhead voice, but I felt it could have been more neutral and less annoyed. As for the rest of the actors, this was a relatively inexperienced group, but there were a few highlights, which I went through in my full review.

Best Performance

Emma Sykora as Meg. There were other good performances, but come on, Sykora nailed that heart wrenching speech. It's rare that you get something like that out of a first time actor, even if the role was relatively small. Watch out for Sykora in the future; she be cooking.

8. Friday Night Live #1

FNL #1 had some good moments; Beat Drop was fun, as were some others. Many of the sketches were kind of mediocre, though, and the Weeknight Update was a bit lacking. Maybe my 7th-hour bias is showing here, but there was really one highlight for the entire show. That of course being...

Best Sketch (Overall)

The best FNL sketch this year was Feet Pics, hands down. This feels like it took some inspiration from Morbius, but frankly the sketch is enjoyable just from how weird and memorable it is. This also had author Myah Dobbins' most iconic performance and one of Grant Kozisek's most iconic roles as well. Congratulations, Dobbins, this is your legacy.

7. Tracks

Tracks is like a Twilight Zone episode in the best way. Don't let its spot on the ranking fool you; this is a good show that presents some interesting ideas on morality and the afterlife, with a few highlight performances throughout — Myah Dobbins and Mary Putthoff come to mind, and Bennett Calvert is always great.

Best Performance

Sagie Snir as the Professer [sic]. Snir's performance presented in interesting internal conflict, and I felt that for such a young actor he was able to portray an aging professor really well. He may have beat out some more experience actors for this award, but I'd say he earned it.

6. Ten Minute Plays

Ten Minute Plays presented difficult issues with nuance. Each play had its strengths and flaws; "Human Cooperatives Council 2089" aptly presented a grim future but was a tad too up front with its central dilemma; "The Cost of Survival" introduces a strong setting and interesting dilemma but was a tad goofy; "Time-Fighter" had good direction and tackled deep themes with nuance but had a bit of a confusing plot; and "Non-Disclosure Agreement" had brisk and clear storytelling but could have used more discretion and nuance. Ultimately, this was a successful experiment that proves that our theater department can portray delicate issues in a mature and interesting way.

Best Performance

Because there were four plays, I picked four Best Performances: Bennett Calvert as Doctor Alton for "Human Cooperative Council 2089" (who would have been my overall pick, if you're curious), Tylar Beck as the Passenger for "The Cost of Survival", Grant Kozisek for "Time-Fighter", and Kylie Shafer as Eleanor for "Non-Disclosure Agreement".

5. Friday Night Live #2

This year's FNL #2 is unambiguously the best FNL I've seen at this school. With such iconic sketches as "Zoom Womb" and the critically acclaimed "Insurance Wars", along with a few surprise cameos and a good musical guest, this FNL was truly a memorable experience. the Weeknight Update could have been better, and some of the sketches weren't great, but ultimately I really liked FNL 2.

Best Sketch

This is not the Best Sketch for the entire year, but "Insurance Wars" was my personal favorite from this FNL. An insane premise and some fun gags (plus the pure greatness of the Geico Kaiju) led to a memorable experience, even if this selection was informed by my love of Insurance commercials.

4. Fated

Fated was good. I know a lot of people working on it expected a disaster, but it had a unique feel to it I've never really seen in a show before. The zombie apocalypse was a fun premise, and the format was really interesting. I just wish it had had multiple nights; I missed the pool scene. Still, if nothing else, it was radically different and offered a really fun night.

Best Performance

Cy Conaway as Dewey. Conaway really came into his own starting with A Midsummer Night's Dream, and since then he's been a consistently great part of these shows. I admit I didn't see a good part of many performances, but Dannon had good things to say about Conaway's performance in the show too, as did other people I talked to.

Flavian Doucet Vampire Award

There weren't really any vampires this year, but Fated featured the undead in a prominent role. I'm relying mostly on Dannon's judgement as well as what I've heard from other cast members, but it sounds to me like Nick Hays did a good job portraying Russ's slow transformation into one of the infected — and by that I mean a zombie, because zombies are zombies. For that, this curious award is his.

Best Directors Choice

This show. All of it. Letting the students get to write an odd, fun genre show in a unique format. Yarnell really pulled through on this one.

3. Newsies

In my time at Blue Valley I have yet to see a bad mainstage musical, including Descendants, and Newsies is the second-best. Featuring a wide ensemble cast with lots of small parts, Newsies feels like the epic multi-department crossover a good mainstage musical should. I feel like the culture has changed around the mainstage musical in the past few years; when I came here people thought it was weird that I included it in my ranking with the theater shows, considering it more of a choir thing. Now, I feel like the theater component of the musical is more frequently recognized, and more non-choir theater kids do the musical. The extent to which my blog has contributed to this is debatable; I can maybe take a modicum of credit, but I think the main reason might be how the systems in place had to be re-evaluated after COVID. Anyway, back to Newsies: the songs were fun, the acting was great, and the show did a good job of feeling like an event. It definitely feels like it has the largest scale of any musical I've seen at the school.

Best Performance

It was close, but ultimately I went with my gut and picked Alyssa Heidemann as Medda Larkin for this show. She really brought a fun energy to the part and that, combined with excellent singing, made the character very memorable. Also Jackson Liekhus threatened to defenestrate me if I didn't pick her.

Best Fight Scene

I was tempted to give this one to FNL #2, either for "Insurance Wars" or "Wuhu!", but ultimately the well-choreographed chaos of the newsies fighting Wiesel and the DeLancy brothers won out in the end. You gotta love a large-scale stage brawl, and Newsies did not disappoint.

2. Noises Off

Is it any surprise that the top three are all mainstages and award-winners? Noises Off is one of the funniest shows I've seen performed at Blue Valley High School, enhanced by a cast willing to subject themselves to a physically demanding two hours of theater. Like in all mainstages, the cast was impeccable, and combined with a good script, it made this show a beautiful final curtain for many of the actors I've grown to know and love for the past three years.

Best Performance

I will stand by my pick of Grant Kozisek. His dynamic and manic performance during the first act, combined with excellent physical comedy in the second act, make him a highlight of the show. He is also able to portray the psychology of a toxic, womanizing, egotistical villain really well.

Best Set Design

It's not just about the impeccably made set; it's about the usage of that set. And this set is used highly artistically, conveying a beautiful sense of spacial awareness during a show that depended upon it so much. Thing is, I remember where every door is supposed to lead. Don't believe me? On the ground floor, left to right (audience view) are the kitchen, the study, the window to the outside, the front door, and a bathroom; halfway up, on the stairs, is a second bathroom; and on the top level, left to right, are a linen closet, a bedroom, and the curtain attic entrance. I know it seems small, but with so many doors, it's impressive that the play uses space so creatively to make each one feel unique.

Champion Curtain Call

Come on! This curtain call was awesome, a fun and celebratory ending that is awesome to behold. No other show could or has done anything like this one before. For those unaware, in this curtain call each actor gets a moment as they appear from behind the door (synchronized to the music) and the whole thing ends with the actors dancing onstage. Epic. Theater.

Ashton Barlow Award for Most Tragically Passed-Up

You know, I always though that Owen Unrein would win Best Performance one of these days. I have a bias towards my own grade level, after all. But somehow, he never did. No matter, the Ashton Barlow, named after its first winner, is for nothing if not patching up holes, and I think it's fitting that Owen receive the Honorable Snub this year, and this is probably the show he was most notable for this year. You're in good company, my friend.

1. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

This show is something special. You all know I've never been the biggest fan of dramas, but man, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest was something special. It lured you in with Randall McMurphy's charisma, as conveyed wonderfully by Henry Monahan, and then hit you with the tragic drama of the ending. You feel every high and low in the story, and the baseball scene is one of the most electric pieces of theater I've ever seen. Maybe there was in-built comradery given my view of the cast, but man, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is a story I will be chewing on for a long, long time.

Best Performance

As good as Henry Monahan was as Randall P. McMurphy, I think the real stand-out of the show was Bennett Calvert as Chief Bromden. His role in the play provided a dramatic undercurrent to the story, and it is ultimately him who drives this fantastic play home. His physicality was every bit as important as his words, though, because this was the first time Calvert has ever felt big to me; that's really the only word I can use to describe it. The way he held himself, you got the sense that he was strong enough to rip out that electrical box, if he found it in himself.

Best Romance & Kiss

Hannah Gold as Candy and Tyler Thalblum as Billy Bibbit. On the kiss front, even though they don't kiss onstage, the marks on Billy's face are notable enough to count this for the award. As for the romance, I'm sorry, I know it's weird to give this to a mental patient who's pressured into sex, but Bibbit losing his virginity is a major component to his character's growth, and it's honestly quite sweet. Especially in how Bibbit sees Candy as a person, whil other characters (especially the staff) treat her like dirt. Plus, what else was I going to give it to? The central romance in Newsies is forced and generic; every relationship in Noises Off is toxic; and in Ten Minute Plays, I'd have to be really, really messed up to give it to the leads in "Time-Fighters" or Keri and Mark from "Non-Disclosure Agreement". That just leaves this and the broken high school sweethearts from Offerings, and I think that this show has the edge.

Excellence in Villainy

Ashely Brixley-Thatcher's take on Nurse Ratched created an instantly iconic villain to match wits with Henry Monahan's McMurphy. You hate her so much so quickly, and her final few lines are infuriatingly perfect. The one solace a viewer can take from the play is that Ratched's control over the ward may be slipping; Nurse Flynn hates her and has grown a spine, and Dale Harding has turned against her completely.

Best Death Scene

Henry Monahan as Randall P. McMurphy has the single most affecting death of any show that I've reviewed at this school. Also in most of the other shows, with the exceptions of Fated and Tracks, nobody dies. Ultimately, McMurphy's downfall was an extremely satisfying end to a great show, and Chief Bromden's merciful murder is a heartbreaking relief.

And there you have it: the end. Fine. Curtains. The final ranking is complete, and only a few articles remain.

I think I might still do a Senior Spotlight series, if I get a chance. I'll keep working on my King Arthur reviews; I'm almost done with the next article. I'm considering doing a Grand Ranking of the past three years of theater. I have a fun one I'm brainstorming, too. And of course I still have a final Fifth Wall and the Keatons to review. But this is it. The end of the year ranking. Go have a life. Go make some art, and go make some mistakes. Do something good. Do something bad. And most importantly, go thank a crew member.

And until next time, remember:

1. "Cuckoosies" stole all of my good Cuckoo's Nest jokes.

2. When one door closes another one opens. As long as the cast gets their timing right.

3. Pulitzer should have moved to internet distribution.

4. Brains.

5. Can't wait for the Geico Kaiju to enter the Monsterverse.

6. AI can't even win a game show, how's it gonna run our society?

7. Still less confusing than the New York Subway system

8. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet.

9. Very little time remains.

10. Those siblings felt a little too close, didn't they?

Noises Off Review

April 28, 2024

All good things have to come to an end.

This is my last play review at Blue Valley High School, and I doubt there's a better play they could have ended on. Any long-time readers will know that I have a soft spot for comedies, and this one is hilarious. Adding to it is the all-star cast, which presents a who's who of actors who have made themselves legends over the past three years. Without an underclassman in the bunch, it was quite the spectacle. Anyway, buckle in, because this is going to be a long one by necessity.

I'm having trouble figuring out where to begin, so let's talk about the format. No play this year, with the exception of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and arguably Chrys de Latis, has had a standard two act format, and this show keeps the streak hot. Noises Off is a three act, with two intermissions. I personally quite enjoyed this format; it gave a night at the theater feel to the show that was reminiscent of the Tracks — Offerings double feature. I really got to talk about the play in bits with the people around me, and it presented copious bathroom breaks; as someone who drinks a lot of water, I appreciate that.

Plus, each act presents something different for the audience. For the unaware reader, Noises Off is about a dysfunctional theater troupe putting on a comedy called Nothing On. (I'm surprised; it's so unlike Yarnell to pick a play-within-a-play show. Well, except for Trap; Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon; The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Abridged; A Midsummer Night's Dream; and Chrys de Latis.) The first act introduces the characters, but most of the comedy is derived from the contents of Nothing On itself, which is in dress rehearsal. The second act puts the characters offstage, where they have to perform Nothing On at a matinee. And the third act shows the remains of the troupe as they struggle to pull together for a final performance while everything goes horribly wrong.

The second act is the strongest, wherein the humor, largely slapstick, is derived from the attempts to perform with a cast that hates each other. The highlight of this act is undoubtably when Dotty's head gets trapped in Lloyd's pants. The third act, the weakest sets aside the interpersonal drama of the first two acts and resolves very little as it merely presents a comedic play falling apart. In that way, it is much like The Play That Went Horribly Wrong, though I would argue that that kind of humor is more enjoyable when watching a drama collapse; after all, a comedy collapsing is still a comedy.

In terms of set design, this show has one of the best sets I've seen at this school. It's not just about the set, though, but how it's used to such wonderful effect. The timing of doors opening and shutting in the first act is near impeccable, and it's a wonderful pacing tool. The curtain call was also one of the greatest curtain calls I've ever seen in one of these.

The story, too, is very interesting. On the surface, the dynamics within the group are just a vehicle for comedy; but beneath that, you can see playing out a compelling drama full of characters destroying themselves. Dotty Otley seems like a sweet old woman, but in reality she's a fading star clinging to her ego as her youth slips away. It makes her feel powerful to have men love her, and it makes her feel young. Even worse, perhaps, is Lloyd Dallas, a director who treats the women on set abysmally. He carries on an affair with the overworked Poppy before tossing her aside (like a broken china doll) when Brooke comes along. He inevitably explodes, usually at Poppy, but as soon as he takes things up with Brooke, she becomes the victim of his abuse onstage. Lloyd is an endlessly fascinating villain, one who fancies himself a god, treating the women around him like playthings and the men like tools to achieve his vision.

Garry Lejeune is a simpler character, a jealous young actor in love with Dotty. Garry begins as a reliable actor who's protective of his cast mates, but as time goes on, the corrupting effects of the troupe begin to warp him into a jealous and violent person. Brooke Ashton, meanwhile, doesn't seem to have a lot going on upstairs; refusing to improvise, she barrels forward with her given lines, while being shallow and temperamental offset. Still, I don't know how anyone could escape empathy seeing her shouted at at the end of Act One. She is a victim of Lloyd's abuse, and for that the audience cannot help but sympathize.

Poppy Norton-Taylor is, in my opinion, the true protagonist of the story; an abused crewmate with an awful boss/lover who gets nothing but ill treatment from those around her. She, along with Tim Allgood, are overworked and mistreated horribly, and I would argue that they are the ones who suffer from the theater the worst.

Frederick Fellowes, likewise, becomes overly invested in his career after his wife leaves him, to the detriment of his mental health. Manipulated by Dotty, hated by Garry, and abused by Lloyd, Frederick is a highly sympathetic character whose grief is turned even worse by the environment and people around him. Selsdon is a good-hearted actor past his prime, whose alchoholism is enabled by a toxi work environment. You like Selsdon, but as long as he's where he is he cannot get better.

Which brings us to the show's secret villain: Belinda Blair. On first glance, Belinda is a loving, maternal peacemaker. But if you look closer, you can see that she is enforcing a toxic work environment, all to make herself more powerful. Her role as peacemaker makes Lloyd dependent on her; she lends sympathies to Poppy, obtaining her loyalty; and she takes a controlling, motherly role with both Tim and Selsdon. But it's her intentions with Frederick that are most suspect. She refuses to "let [Dotty] get her hooks in" Freddy, and yet she is the first one there to comfort Frederick after his wife leaves him. One could almost believe Dotty's accusation that Belinda wants Freddy for herself. And when the others begin to question Lloyd's leadership? She says that Lloyd's treatment of Brooke is 'sweet'. She clearly knows about Dotty's manipulative behavior, but still presents her relationship with Garry as charming. Belinda knows how toxic the troupe has become, but the more they tear each other apart, the more the cast and crew rely on Belinda, put their faith in Belinda, give Belinda power and attention.

But alright, I've put it off long enough. This is the last time I will select a Best Performance, so I had better begin talking about the performances.

Let me just start by saying that I can't think of a single actor in this show that would not have won Best Performance in almost any rep show for the acting chops they showed off these past few nights. I said this was an all-star cast, and I meant it. I still mean it.

Henry Monahan was reliably comedic as Garry Lejeune. He really came through, and while Garry Lejeune is no Randall McMurphy, it's clear that Monahan was a good cast for an admittedly one-note character. Myah Dobbins, a blog favorite, delivered an enjoyable last show as Brooke, playing the character with a memorable flare (as well as a few of the classic Dobbins head tilts). Sammy Robertson was appropriately maternal as Belinda Blair, and this is probably my favorite of her roles to date.

I think it's time we start to narrow down, though, and get to the true Best Performance contenders. Like I said, every actor in this show did amazing, but these six were truly great.

I know he's not in the play a lot. I know he's understated. But man, Tim Allgood may just be my favorite Owen Unrein performance. Although I've always kind of pegged Unrein for a leading man type, I think this just goes to show what he's really made for is comedy. Unrein portrays Tim as a lovable and relatable everyman in a circus of freaks, and I appreciate that.

Besides my top two, the most popular pick for Best Performance in this show was probably Colton Fieger as Frederick Fellowes. I think it was really the second night that Fieger's performance stood out to me most; Frederick is a highly sympathetic character, and I think that Fieger portrays him with both charm and pitifulness.

Maybe I'm just happy to see her in a bigger role, but man, can we talk about Sara Schumacher as Poppy Norton-Taylor? Because this easily surpassed Narrator #1 as Schumacher's best performance yet. Poppy is someone you so want to succeed, and the silent acting she does in this show is phenomenal. I guess she had a lot of practice with all of her previous roles and their mime-like dialogue.

Another one that came up in conversation was Cy Conaway. Conaway was wonderfully entertaining as Selsdon, and got laughts every time he came onstage. It was a wonderfully zany performance from an actor we all know to expect good things from, and Selsdon was a great final role for Conaway at the school.

Let's be honest, though. There were really only two options for my last Best Performance.

I had to pick between two of the best performances I have seen at this school. On the one hand, you have Lillie Mikuls, acting out the part of Dottie Otley with genius physical comedy, especially in the second act, all the while becoming her character, to the point where it's hard to see Mikuls beneath Otley. And like I said, the physical comedy she brings to the table in Act 2 is legendary. When I sat down to write this article, I intended to give Mikuls the coveted prize. That's how close this decision was.

But I had to go with my gut. Because I always have to go with my gut. Because no matter what, this blog is my opinion, my instinct, what I saw, what I felt. And I felt enthralled. Maybe he's won before, and Mikuls hasn't. Maybe he wasn't in the third act all that much.

But at the end of the day, when all is said and done...

I'm going to give my final Best Performance to Grant Kozisek.

Kozisek just brought it. He was over-the-top as usual, but the character called for it. You could believe that he was an abuser, that he was a man who thought himself a god. Kozisek earned this with the performance of a lifetime. And that's my opinion.

There are still quite a few articles I have to release, even with the standard theater season over. Obviously, the Final Ranking, along with a Keatons article and a final Fifth Wall article. Then, maybe a Grand Ranking of all the shows from the past three years, and maybe some Senior spotlight articles if I get around to it. I'll try to keep up with my King Arthur movie review throughout the summer (I'm almost done with the 70s), and if there's an AMC show (like Footloose and Beauty and the Beast) I'll try to catch that too.

But this is the beginning of goodbye, and as with any goodbye, it's really a thank you. For everything.

Have a wonderful day. Go thank a crew member. And until next time, however few next times are left, remember: good or bad, the curtain falls on every play.

Dollins & Bessetti: The Advisory Class from Hell

April 26, 2024

Did you know that Dollins, the choir director, once had an Advisory class? And that Bessetti, the band director, had that same class? Let me tell you a story of the worst advisory class ever, one that bore a curse that it passed along to every teacher it had: mine.

My advisory class was one of the first groups of people I got to know when I came into Blue Valley High School, and an odd group it was. The class had people with last names D - F; I won't get into all of the members of that class, and the only member of my readership (besides myself) who was in that class is Myah Dobbins. Suffice it so say that the Advisory class is a cross section of a high school; the one place where AP students mingle with on-levels, where athletes rub shoulders with performing artists, where artsy kids butt heads with cheerleaders. Many members of that class are good friends now, but something about our particular cocktail must have been rotten — because we've broken every teacher we've ever had.

Our first year, we had Samuel Dollins, the choir director. These days, Dollins' classroom during advisory is a hotbed for socialization for choir students, but back then, it was us. For those too young to remember, that was COVID year, meaning that for a good portion of it we were online, and for another good portion we were hybrid. Mask policies didn't disappear for good until the back half of 2022, and so for most of that time we were trapped behind masks. In spite of that, it was good — I got to playtest the board game I'd been working on, Chicken Factor, and I made some friends. COVID really accelerated my growth from a shy and awkward middle schooler into the pillar of popularity you all know today.

But Dollins gave us up after a year, not wanting to do advisory any longer, and so we traded the risers of the choir room for the expansive, carpeted floor of Paul Bessetti's room. Bessetti, by his own admission, never wanted to do advisory; it was a necessity of the curriculum. Performing arts teachers have never really wanted to do normal teacher things, have they? That year, sophomore year, our class was something of a hotspot, with other students showing up left and right. I am constantly changing, but I would say that the person I am now really started to take shape by the end of sophomore year. That, after all, was the year I started my blog. That was also the beginning of the current social climate within our class. Rarely do seniors remember or care about the people they dated freshman year, but they might remember a sophomore relationship wistfully. Bessetti hated his time as our advisory teacher; he did what he had to but took no pleasure in it, and I can't exactly blame him. For that reason and others, he frequently cites that year as the closest he's come to deciding to retire from teaching.

It comes as no surprise, then, that come my Junior year, Bessetti stopped doing advisory and used that time to teach 6th grade band instead. By the time we were on our third advisory teacher, Mr. Bird, the class started to sense a pattern, and joked that we could go "four for four", meaning four different advisory teachers in four years. Bird was the closest thing to a normal advisory teacher we've ever had; his classroom had chairs and desks — a first for us. Some of our number left us that year for classes at JCCC, but we still had a decent-sized class. Bird told us that the curse ended here: he would be with us for the rest of High School. He was mistaken.

It's no secret that Bird left the district for a different job at the end of last year, meaning that Senior year has given us our fourth and final advisory teacher: Jennifer Stock, the Physical Education teacher. Her classroom was across the hall from Bird's during our Junior year, and so come this year, she adopted us. A dwindling number of students actually participated, and Coach Stock was something of a neglectful watcher; about half the time she has to do something at the fitness center and leaves her class to scatter to the winds. Ironically this often means I end up hanging out in the choir room with Mr. Dollins, meaning the story comes full circle. But the curse persists nonetheless: Stock is leaving the district at the end of the year for a different job.

Our advisory class is cursed; every teacher we've ever had has abandoned us and stopped holding advisory classes after having to watch us. Two have even quit at the end of the year. It's fitting that this cursed advisory would originate from the class of 2024, the first class to have Advisory all four years. Because of that, I feel compelled to preserve our terrible legacy. Because we break teachers. That's just who we are.

Ten Minute Plays Review

April 18, 2024

Because I'm going to be in Oklahoma tonight, I watched the dress rehearsal for Ten Minute Plays intead of the whole show. Because Yarnell apparently wants every show this year to be an FNL in disguise, Ten Minute Plays is a collection of four short plays written by students. I can't remember exactly how long each one was, but I do remember that each play dealt with a controversial topic which, with the exception of "Time-Fighter", include a central dilemma which the audience must grapple with.

As an honest reviewer, I think it's only fair that I give my opinions on each of the issues present, delicate as they will not be; I will not, however, be ranking the plays. This is for three reasons:

1. If I ranked the plays it could be construed as a ranking of the importance of the issues present, and it's impossible to separate the quality of the plays from the issues they discuss.

2. I can't rank them; every time I've tried I've come up with a completely different ranking, and all four varied wildly from my favorite to least favorite depending on how I feel.

3. It goes against the precedent set in my Two Much Light and Chrys de Latis reviews for me to rank the component parts of a non-FNL show.

I will, however, be giving each play a Best Performance, following a precedent I set in Crafting a Killer. There will not be an overall Best Performance in this show, though if you want my honest opinion I'd probably give it to the winner from "Human Cooperatives Council 2089".

I do think, overall, that Yarnell's experiment in letting his actors write parts of his plays has been mostly successful. Additionally, I feel that this is one of the best programs I've seen for one of these shows, with each segment masterfully conveying the central themes of the play in question; it's certainly an improvement over the Lovecraftian horror that was the Tracks program. This is a good show overall, but I can't really get into that without getting to the plays themselves. So without further ado, let's do just that.

Human Cooperative Council 2089 by Myah Dobbins

This play features four government officials and an A.I. company representative debating and voting on the role of AI in society. An important issue, for sure — AI have proven themselves superior to humans in many realms (though thankfully not game shows, which I we still dominate). The society depicted is highly oppressive, relying on regulation of any strong emotion and the role of AI, leading to a mental health crisis and a sense of purposeless. Themes of corporate influence on government take center stage, as highlighted by Doctor Alton, a representative for the main AI company in the story, who is not only present as a representative of his corporation but as a voting member of the council. In the end, the decision is left pretty ambiguous.

But the answer that the play seems to lean towards is the side of free will, the bad with the good, and I'd say that that most aligns with my personal opinion on it. Best Performance here goes to Bennett Calvert as Doctor Alton, who played an appropriately self-interested big tech CEO. It's worth noting that this makes Bennett Calvert only the second person to win Best Performance twice in one year.

The Cost of Survival by Bennett Calvert

I think that the best way to describe this show might be to say that the play about the ethics of cannibalism was the most lighthearted play in the show. In this play, rookie improv sophomore Tylar Beck and Tracks alumn Jenna Jones match wits as the pilot and last surviving passenger of a flight, who have to decide whether to eat the corpses of their fellow passengers to survive. Other elements of survival come into play to, focusing on the horrific deaths of the other passengers.

I personally feel that I'd commit cannibalism with minimal hesitation but significant disgust. I could probably learn to keep the meals down with practice. The cannibalism of the dead in a survival scenario hurts nobody. Sorry, but it's true. Best performance goes to Tylar Beck as the passenger; she was effectively ruthless and pragmatic the whole way through.

Time-Fighter by Mary Putthoff

I can't tell if this is my favorite or least favorite play in the show.

On the one hand, some of the themes are confusing. The title implies a theme of wanting to stay in the present as time moves on, and the dialogue is a bit confusing in a Shakespearean way about that, but then it takes a hard left turn into being commentary about abusive relationships. It's possible to connect the themes, but it wasn't done super amazingly.

On the other hand,  the highly stylized nature of the piece is fascinating, with its limited use of color as well as its dramatic shifts. These shifts are subtle but have a huge impact on the story; particularly when Grant Kozisek's character (who's name is unfortunately not listed int the program) draws the knife, and then when he turns it on himself, and then when Mary Putthoff's character draws her own weapon. I think; pretty sure it was a flashlight in dress rehearsal, so I'm not sure what it's supposed to be.

It's also the most original work here by a long shot. The other plays weren't exactly derivative, but each felt like it had strong similarities to existing media; "Human Cooperative Council 2089", for example, can easily be compared to films like The Matrix and books like The Giver, while The Cost of Survival is, by admission of Calvert himself, partially inspired by Lost and bares similarities with other plane-crash desert-island stories. (Lord of the Flies, Castaway, and Gilligan's Island spring to mind.) No such work I've ever encountered can quite be compared to "Time-Fighter"; the closest I can come up with is some of the more dramatic plays from last year's Two Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind, but even that's a stretch.

There isn't a huge philosophical question that drives the narrative, but one that came up in discussion is if Kozisek's character would actually kill himself if Putthoff's left. I cannot believe that I wrote that sentence in a review of a BVHS play; this show goes to some dark places. Anyway, I don't think Kozisek's character is acting on any sort of calculated malice, rather an emotional dependency.  He's acting on whims, so I doubt he'd actually go through with it.

(But to be clear, these sorts of situations do happen in real life, and if you ever find yourself in Putthoff's character's position where a significant other is threatening to kill themselves if you leave, that is emotional abuse. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline has an article that does a good job at addressing this topic. And now I'm linking to the National Domestic Abuse Hotline in a Daily Campfire article; that says a lot about the kind of show this is.)

Maybe I've talked myself into really liking this play. I just didn't fully understand the time-fighting element all that much.

Best performance goes to Grant Kozisek. Putthoff acted commendably, continuing her success from Tracks, but Kozisek is simply one of the best actors we have in the program now, especially since he started to branch out at the end of last year.

Non-Disclosure Agreement by Kylie Shafer

This play, if nothing else, had the best title. It really says something about the nature of our society that from the title alone I immediately knew a lot about what this play was about. And that's not to mention the great program design, whose corporate-looking font is a bit chilling.

I don't do this too often, and when I do it's usually reserved for a separate article, but I think a bit of comparative media analysis is called for in this situation. "Non-Disclosure Agreement" reminded me strongly of the Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode "He Said, She Said". It must have been nearly five years since I've seen that episode, and while I didn't especially care for it at the time, I've come to regard it as one of the show's best and most memorable episodes. Brooklyn Nine-Nine was an NBC sitcom during the 2010s (that fourth golden age of situational comedies) that told the story of a New York police precinct. In the episode, the characters, especially protagonist Jake Peralta and nerdy love interest Amy Santiago, have to investigate a woman who claims to have been (and, based on everything we find out in the episode, almost certainly was) sexually assaulted by a coworker at a large accounting firm. She is offered a handsome non-disclosure agreement of $2.3 million not to come forward, but ultimately decides to move forward with the investigation. The perpetrator is caught by a deus ex Beefer, but the woman in question still has to quit her job because her place on the corporate ladder has been compromised.

I rewatched the episode for this review after noting the similarities. Many similar scenes play out with similar characters: Cici is Keri Brennan, Seth Haggerty is Mark, Amy Santiago is Eleanor, and Jake Peralta's role is thrust upon the audience. The difference, I think is the focus; in "He Said, She Said", the protagonist is Amy, whereas Eleanor is only a side character in the story in "Non-Disclosure Agreement". Through Cici's eyes, we see the actual assault itself take place (I'll get to that in a minute) and how it impacts her life. Keri Brennan is in a position where she can afford to loose her job; her incentive for financial gain is, according to the episode, to assemble a Scrooge-McDuck-like pool of money in which to swim. Cici, meanwhile, wants to pay for her daughter Molly's art school and insure her future. It's a more grounded motivation for sure,  and adds to the dramatic nature of the story. Brooklyn Nine-Nine, after all, is a comedy, and giving Brennan too much to loose would make it a bit of a bummer.

Let's talk about the inclusion of the assault itself. In the play, the act is referred to as sexual harassment that could have developed into sexual assault had Cici not defended herself. But as the son of two lawyers, one of whom did labor and employment law for over a decade, I would say that it could be argued that what Mark does could meet the legal definition of assault. Regardless, there's something to be said about Brooklyn Nine-Nine's approach of not showing the assault, and it's not just about tone. This discretion presents the audience with doubt, and I think that that does something interesting; in a real case of he said, she said, nobody but the perpetrator and victim generally know what actually went on. Doubt requires faith, the faith to believe a victim. On the other hand, "Non-Disclosure Agreement"'s presentation of the actual events that took place allow the focus to be placed squarely on Cici's perspective. Say what you will, but the scene itself made my skin crawl, thanks in part to Lila Schlagel and Bennett Calvert's great performances. A scene like that takes a lot of trust between actors to pull off, and from my perspective it seems like that was very much there.

In terms of the central question of whether or not Cici should sign the NDA, I'm gonna have to be a Rosa Diaz here. If I were in her shoes, I would sign the NDA. She's a mother, and she has a daughter to look after. And frankly it shouldn't be the responsibility of victims to make big sacrifices to end workplace harassment. If nothing else, "Non-Disclosure Agreement" did a better job than "He Said, She Said" at portraying the real consequences of coming forward. The episode ends on an optimistic note, with Brennan's coworker coming forward about her own experiences of harassment, but I imagine that in the play that would be cold comfort to Cici if her daughter had to drop out of art school.

While all five performances in this show were quite good, from the good-as-ever Bennett Calvert to the effectively shady Joey Dioszeghy to Lila Schlagel's surprisingly mature performance of a demanding role, I'm gonna have to go with Kylie Shafer as Eleanor here; she sold the complexity of a character who both cares about Cici's plight and wants things better for all women even if it means that Cici has to sacrifice her career.

I applaud this show for tackling heavy themes in a more delicate way than might be expected from a high school theatre class, especially a rep class. Then again, rep classes have always been more experimental than mainstages, so there's that. I'm impressed by the caliber of writing present, and it's given me a lot to chew on personally. This has been a more or less humorless article, but that's probably for the best given the subject matter.

Anyway, have a good night, go thank a crew member, and remember: the whole situation behind "The Cost of Survival" could have been avoided if they simply hadn't flown Boeing.

Reviewing Every King Arthur Movie: The 60s

April 17, 2024

And thus we enter the 1960s! After Prince Valiant, there wasn’t another King Arthur feature film for another decade. That stream was eventually broken starting in 1963’s Lancelot & Guinevere, otherwise known as The Sword of Lancelot. Highlights from this era include The Sword and the Stone and Camelot. Don’t you worry, we’ll get to those in due time.

Lancelot & Guinevere (1963)

This film is legendary.

I don’t even know how to express my surprise that such a movie was this good. This motion picture is a hidden gem lost to time. At first I was put-off by the film’s long runtime, slow pacing, and somewhat archaic, almost Shakespearean dialogue. But then I kept watching, and the film kept getting better. Alright, I think it’s time I dive into the plot of this movie.

The story follows the events of the back half of the King Arthur story from Lancelot’s perspective, beginning with Arthur’s wedding to Guinevere cementing his reign as King of all England. Lancelot, Arthur’s best knight, is sent to win Guinevere for Arthur in a tournament and bring her back for the wedding. But the pair fall in love on the way, leading to an affair between Lancelot and Guinevere. Meanwhile, Mordred, Arthur’s illegitimate son, grows weary of his father’s new bride, for a legitimate heir could upset his claim to the throne. Thus, Mordred reveals Lancelot’s affair with Guinevere, leading Arthur to send his knights to apprehend Lancelot and burn Guinevere at the stake. 

Lancelot escapes with Guinevere but accidentally kills his friend Sir Gareth in the process. Gareth’s older brother, Gawain, follows Lancelot to his castle and challenges him, until finally Lancelot defeats Gawain and sends him back to Arthur with an offer of surrender in exchange for sparing Guinevere and his friends. Guinevere is taken to an abbey, and Lancelot is released into hiding. Years later, Gawain reconciles with Lancelot when the knight is needed to fight Mordred, who has slain Arthur and many of the knights and now threatens the land. Lancelot slays Mordred and arrives at the abbey to meet Guinevere, but it is too late. Guinevere has started down the path to become a nun, and Lancelot fails to persuade her otherwise. The final scene of the film is Lancelot leaving the abbey, alone.

This movie is so good on so many levels. The characters and story are all extremely accurate to the legends, but handled with great maturity. Lancelot is played to perfection (with an actual French accent for once) by Cornel Wilde, who also directed the film. His romance with Guinevere (also played marvelously by Jean Wallace) has single-handedly restored my faith in the cinematic love story; it’s one of the best romances I’ve ever seen in a movie, if not the best. I felt every moment of love and heartbreak. Arthur and Gawain are also portrayed beautifully as tragic figures, bringing their dry, almost historical characterizations from legend to life. Arthur clearly loves Guinevere but in a superficial sense, and she has a certain love for him, but their age gap makes their relationship feel believably off-kilter. Gawain, meanwhile, is the exact obsessive, vengeful hero that I’ve always hoped to see in adaptation.

The movie’s slow burn works wonders; it starts off good and ends great. From the first few scenes, I thought it a 2/4, but it slowly climbed my rankings. The dialogue, although archaic, feels natural; the characters feel like they really know each other, and the film captures the interpersonal relationships with nuisance and grace. The costuming is on-point, and the score — by Galahad, the score is a sweeping and romantic masterclass in cinematic composing.

Does this film have its flaws? Sure. The pacing isn’t always amazing, nor are the battle sequences. It’s a bit weird how Mordred’s betrayal and the death of King Arthur happen offscreen, but it makes sense as a way to keep the focus squarely on the title characters. And Gawain’s turn-around also happens a bit quick; sure, it happened over the course of years, but within the context of the movie that was minutes. Whatever; his character arc was still satisfying.

I loved this film. The ending made me cry, and outside of dog movies that almost never happens. It’s a romantic tragedy for the ages and a worthy adaptation of the source material, tragedy and all.

Final Score: 4/4. Undiscovered masterpiece.

Siege of the Saxons (1963)

I went into this movie with my expectations on the floor. It was apparently so low-budget that they had to reuse footage from The Black Knight, which as you know, is the lowest-ranked film on the list so far. My expectations were barely surpassed.

The film isn’t amazing, or even all that good. It’s low budget and dreadfully boring, but this problem is tempered by its short runtime. The villain is a generic, mustache-twirler who kills King Arthur to try to take the throne; there’s been one of those in most of these movies so far. The film centers around Robert, a common, Robin Hood-inspired thief having to help Arthur’s daughter Katherine track down Arthur’s advisor Merlin, in order to prove her claim to the throne before the scheming Sir Edmund can take it. Siege of the Saxons has its charms, but the titular Saxons and plot aren’t anything to write home about.

I think what saves this movie from being a 1/4 is the protagonists. Robert is likable, if generic, and Katherine is a surprisingly capable heroine for a 1963 King Arthur movie, without her character feeling forced or like pandering. She’s basically what the live-action Aladdin remake was going for with Jasmine except actually pretty good. And her romance with Robert is believable and charming, if not the epic love story for the ages that Lancelot and Guinevere’s was in their film that same year.

Final Rating: 2/4. Not very good, but with redeemable qualities.

The Sword in the Stone (1963)

Perhaps the second-most requested film on the agenda was The Sword in the Stone, and for good reason. This delightful Disney classic is full of whimsical fun, valuable life lessons, and memorable characters. Adapted from the T. H. White novel of the same name, the first installment in his Once and Future King series, The Sword in the Stone tells the story of Arthur’s tutelage under Merlin and, finally, his ascension to the throne of England.

I don’t think I stopped smiling the whole way; Arthur is a likable young lad you want to see grow and Merlin is an absolute delight. This is the first truly magical Merlin we’ve seen in film so far; he was portrayed as a scheming charlatan in the Connecticut Yankee adaptations and as an ambiguously magical advisor in all of the other movies. The only film before this to imply that Merlin had actual magic power was Siege of the Saxons, and even in that movie he never uses it.

The Sword in the Stone, however, delights in Merlin’s magic. Of all the ways to adapt King Arthur for Disney, choosing his lighthearted early years was a good pick. The film utilizes legendary elements — Merlin, the Sword in the Stone, Sir Ector and Sir Kay, even a brief role for Pellinore — but also infuses its own whimsical adventures into the narrative. If these excursions weren’t so memorable, with good songs to back them, it might have slowed the pacing, but the film passed by like a pleasant breeze.

The movie isn’t afraid to be funny or self-aware, particularly with Merlin, who begins the movie by implying that he can hear the narrator and never ceases to entertain with his goofy, forgetful old man persona. The highlight of the movie is of course Merlin’s duel with the Magnificent, Mad Madam Mim, who serves as a delightfully wicked antagonist. I really like how in the wizards’ duel she keeps becoming traditionally frightening, powerful creatures, while Merlin uses his intellect to win, emphasizing the main theme of the film.

Even if the movie’s theme of brain over brawn is simple, it is conveyed very effectively. Merlin and Archimedes, though disagreeing moderately, each pull Arthur toward an intellectual approach, against the teachings of Ector and Kay. My one complaint is that this is paid off in the wizards’ duel with Merlin, rather than in some other way with Arthur. Sure, he beats the big fish by outsmarting him early on, but that’s about it. The reason for this is that this is just the beginning of Arthur’s character arc, which was designed to span a series of four novels — this film only adapts one of them.

Ultimately, The Sword in the Stone is a classic for a reason. Its enduring charm keeps it fresh as an introduction to Arthurian legend for each new generation.

Final Rating: 4/4. Whimsical and charming.

Willy McBean and His Magic Machine (1965)

Willy McBean and His Magic Machine is a film by Rankin/Bass Animated Entertainment, the same group responsible for such animated classics as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, The Year Without a Santa Claus, and the rest of the stop-motion Christmas Cinematic Universe. Except that they were composed entirely of TV shorts. Would you believe that Rudolph was less than an hour? I know, it sure feels like longer. The company only made six feature films, though, and only three of them were in their signature stop motion style— the first of which being 1965’s Willy McBean and His Magic Machine.

The movie is about an evil professor named Rasputin von Rotten who goes back in time to try to take credit for a bunch of historical achievements. Meanwhile, a boy named Willy McBean builds his own version of von Rotten’s time machine and goes after him, with the help of von Rotten’s escaped talking monkey Pablo. In total there are five historical events that they go back to in the movie: Buffalo Bill’s show business career, Christopher Columbus’s discovery of the New World, King Arthur’s drawing the sword from the stone, King Tut’s construction of the pyramids, and the discovery of fire by the cavemen.

The movie is whimsical and charming, but its pacing starts to drag with the various escapades. The King Arthur section messes with the timeline and makes it an adult Arthur who has to draw the sword from the Stone; on the bright side, a talking Excalibur was a fun surprise, and Morgan le Fay as a morally ambiguous femme fatale trickster utilized a rarely-seen part of her character. And Merlin was certainly a wizard. They portray Arthur as an incompetent fool, which I didn’t care for. Arthur can be a heroic paragon, a morally ambiguous king, or even a power-hungry villain — but the only way to make an incompetent Arthur work is one who’s just gotten too old for the job.

The Round Table used in the movie was actually based upon the Winchester Round Table, which was designed during the reign of King Edward, a big King Arthur nerd, for an Arthur-themed Round Table tournament. Think of it like a medieval Comic Con.

Anyway, back to the movie. While I can complain all day about legendary inaccuracies, other than the Buffalo Bill section, the Arthur part was probably the most accurate historical segment, to the legend, if not real history. The Christopher Colombus part used every historical myth about Columbus known to man (he discovered the Earth was round, he was a lucky idiot, he was a mostly heroic character, etc.); the Egypt part erroneously claims that King Tut, who died too young to do much of anything, was the pharaoh that built the pyramids, which is widely credited to Khufu; and the caveman section prominently features dinosaurs. This movie has no accuracy to it.

There are some less-than-desirable depictions of American Indians, Latin Americans, Italians, and (kind of) Chinese people, but honestly, it’s not as bad as The Black Knight and is a little more excusable, given the time period. It doesn’t ruin the movie, and ultimately most of these peoples aren’t outwardly villainized by the film, so it could be worse.

This is the third musical on our list and honestly it has the best songs out of any of them. Every song in this is a banger, but highlights include Columbus's song and von Rotten’s villain song, which rivals The Sword in the Stone’s “The Marvelous, Mad Madam Mim”. The stop motion also looks pretty darn good.

Von Rotten himself is a fun villain. Pablo is a diet Puss in Boots without Antonio Banderas’s charisma, though he is a legitimately charming comic relief nonetheless. And Willy himself is kind of bland, but he’s not unlikable. Most of the historical figures are fairly unremarkable, though Buffalo Bill and Sitting Bull have a good dynamic and both Morgan le Fay and Ankhesenamun were fun enough to watch, but the supposed “great men” of history were a bit underwhelming. A better movie could have made that the point, but this is a mediocre kids’ film.

Final Rating: 2/4. If you like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer — and I mean you actually like it and don’t just have nostalgia for it because you’ve seen it a billion times — then you might like this. But generally it’s just the Peabody and Sherman show from the same time period but less entertaining.

Camelot (1967)

Camelot is an adaptation of the Broadway musical of the same name, which in turn is an adaptation of T. H. White’s The Once and Future King series, though it mainly focuses on later books. As such, it can be watched as a sequel to The Sword in the Stone, in the same way one might consider The Silence of the Lambs a sequel to Manhunter. It picks up with Arthur two years into his reign as King and following the death of Merlin, beginning with his marriage with Guinevere. The film follows Guinevere’s marriage with Arthur, her affair with Lancelot, and Mordred’s betrayal.

This movie is pretty darn good, and a solid Arthur adaptation. It darkens and matures the story from The Sword in the Stone, but keeps a sense of delight and whimsy as it does. To view it as a sequel is worthwhile, as Arthur is clearly guided almost singularly by Merlin’s teachings from his childhood. The stark, personal emotions don’t hit quite the same way as in Knights of the Round Table or Lancelot and Guinevere; instead, the film focuses on the societal and philosophical ideas behind Arthur and his knights. Attention is paid to the reforms Arthur makes to English society, and his duty to the law.

The stakes, then, are not the personal stakes or the battles — they are about the society Arthur has created for England, and whether or not those ideals will be forgotten when the Round Table is destroyed. Gawain’s personal quest for revenge, which is present both in Le Morte d’Arthur and Lancelot & Guinevere, is replaced with a call for vengeance across the Round Table, without any individual knights who champion it specifically. The collapse of Guinevere and Lancelot’s relationship happens offscreen, rather than at the emotional climax of the film; it was never really about their love, but about what it meant for Camelot.

Perhaps as a testament to these themes, the film curiously ends the night before the climactic Battle of Camlann, when Arthur commands a young page named Tom of Warwick to write down the stories of the Round Table. This character is based on Sir Thomas Mallory, the author of Le Morte d’Arthur, who would have lived about eight centuries after Arthur, but let’s not get caught up in the details. The point is to carry on the ideals of the Round Table more than the Round Table itself, and to tell the stories therein.

I still would have preferred to see the battle.

The film is three hours long, but the slow pacing allows the audience to care about the world and characters. It’s never especially dull, so the runtime is excusable, if a bit exhausting nonetheless.

Lancelot once again has an actual French accent. I believe in Arthur and Guinevere’s relationship more than ever here. Mordred is a delightfully dastardly villain who simply doesn’t get enough screen time. What this really does well, which I hear is part of White’s charm in his series, is making the characters feel human, starting from the very first song after the Prologue, in which Arthur sings about feeling scared in meeting Guinevere for the first time.

Final Rating: 3/4. A good adaptation of the source material on its own and a worthy follow-up to The Sword in the Stone.

And that’s the 60s in Arthur! Man, you had three pretty darn good movies and a couple passable ones. This was a good decade for the Once and Future King! Next up, the 70s, including the single most requested film on the agenda — Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Friday Night Live #2 Review

April 13, 2024

This FNL was, hands down, the best FNL I've seen at Blue Valley High School. There were no sketches without laughs, and barely any were mediocre; You would be hard-pressed to find a Saturday Night Live episode with such consistency. These sketches were inventive, jumping between genres and mediums with more eloquence than any previous FNL. And this one is funny as heck.

On a related note, this is hands-down the best musical guest FNL has ever had. No shade towards Ethan Oppold and only a little bit of shade towards Owen Unrien (kidding), but the long-awaited debut of Benifluer (I probably mispelled that) to BVHS proper was well worth it. I don't have much of an ear for any music written after World War II, but those I spoke to found their tracks inventive and well-performed. Also the drummer's middle name is 

That said, not every sketch was great, though a record number were. Let's get to the ranking.

12. A.I.'s with Knowledge by Mia Mondry

I lost A.I. of the week. Bad sketch.

11. WuHu! by Henry Monahan

I feel bad for this one. It was written by Henry Monahan, who's one of the best writers in the theater program, and it had some fun moments. I've just never played the referenced game, so I was kind of lost the whole time. This just seems like a case of me not being the intended audience; and since this is my blog, I have to give my opinion.

10. Double Date by 7th Hour Rep Theatre

In any other FNL, Double Date would have been ranked much higher. The sketch's format of conveying its story without words is highly entertaining. That said, in spite of some great moments (like Andrew Mazzapica pouring water on himself), the sketch did feel a little confusing and disjointed. Still, it's pretty good, which is not something I can say about any other tenth-rank FNL sketch from the past except for SIX (Goodnight Forever and Rocky were the others, in case you were wondering).

9. Real Educators of Blue Valley by Colton Fieger

This was a favorite of many people's, carried by the Dollins dis track of Yarnell. It's pretty hyper-specific to a Blue Valley student body, but that's fine, because that's who it's made for. Not all of the jokes landed quite right, but the sketch had the charm to carry it through, as well as some really fun depictions of BVHS teachers.

8. Weeknight Update by Cy Conaway, Sammy Robertson, Andrew Monahan, and Henry Monahan

It was fun to see Cy Conaway and Samantha Robertson at the desk, and a few of the jokes were really good. I'm sorry to say that the skibidi toilet bit went on for too long, especially with how often that was referenced elsewhere in the show. The Wildcrats segment was amusingly bizarre, of course carried by the performance of one Millie Unrein. This was Unrein's first show, but she doubtlessly has a bright future ahead of her.

7. Alpha Female Podcast by Lillie Mikuls and Tyler Thalblum

Alpha Female podcast isn't especially laugh out loud funny, but as satire it hits quite well. As a parody of the assorted speaking specters of Spotify, it acts as a boundary-pushing satire and features some of Mikuls's best acting to date, as well as a welcome guest role for Riley Carlson. The callers were all fun; Tyler Thalblum's was... something. There must have been some sort of oversight, because they actually gave Sara Schumacher a speaking part in a rep show; I was beginning to think that her voice actor had been fired. Nick Hays's outfit at the end of the sketch was, of course, a delight.

6. Wonka by Lillie Mikuls and Colton Fieger

I've heard this cited as a favorite sketch by some. It certainly presented itself as an edgy satire, and the musical format was really good. Perhaps my biggest laugh of the night was "He thinks he's gonna make it to eighteen". And Owen Unrein played a great, shifty Willy Wonka. This sketch really brought the biting satire that a lot of the best sketches include.

5. Cuckoosies by 7th Hour Rep Theatre

This sketch had a hyperspecific audience. Fortunately, I fall right in the middle of it. It was a really funny take on combining two shows and a fun musical time besides that. Letters from the Afterlife was dark in all of the most delightful ways. Watch What Happens was unusually edgy for an FNL, and I quite enjoyed it. And of course, McMurphy's lobotomy song, which assumed no pretense in casting Andrew Monahan to play his older brother, was a hilarious lampoon of the tragic end of Cuckoo's Nest.

4. FNL Auditions by 7th Hour Rep Theatre

A collection of bite-sized, one-man (or -woman) mini-sketches, there were a lot of good ones in here, too many for me to list. My favorites were probably Austin Casey's Cookie Monster sketch (Viva la Cookielution!), which we will be quoting until the end of time; he Nick Hays pervy teacher sketch (how on God's green Earth did that get approved?!); and Tyler Thalblum's sketch, which the U.S. Government is looking into using as an enhanced interrogation technique.

3. Wisdom of the Ancients by Egg Noggin

Okay, I really liked this one. Teachers and students alike from Blue Valley got a kick out of seeing the oldest teachers in the school (no offence) deliver ancient wisdom to the younger teachers. The end of the sketch was a little bit confusing, but hey, who cares? The only question that remains: Oh wise of soul and handsome of face, what exactly does one mean when he says "the Flex space"? Seriously, is it the region to the East with the rooms of glass, where I take my Government class? Or is it the theater by the bathrooms always locked, the construction of which kept the drop-off line blocked? Or is it some other, obscure location, holding classes pertaining to most unusual vocations?

2. Zoom Womb by Henry Monahan

I can't avoid smiling when I think about this sketch. It's absolutely absurd, off-the-wall concept mixed with an utterly bizarre execution make it the funniest sketch in the show. And ending it with a pun worked wonders to tie the whole thing together. Almost every line from this sketch is infinitely quotable, from "They're saying their ABC's, just forgetting the other 25 letters" to "We bored mama! Are we born yet?" This thing is great, and a more objective reviewer might have ranked it first.

1. Insurance Wars by Tyler Thalblum

But I'm biased. Specifically towards post-apocalyptic parody war theater featuring various insurance commercial mascots, a subgenre of exactly two works. Since this is the closest I'll ever come to seeing a performance of Insured, I will take it. The sketch's inventive setting and fun characters make up for a lack of laugh-out-loud jokes compared to its competitors. Insurance mascots are an untapped wellspring of shared cultural knowledge, and this sketch goes a long way towards tapping it. Tyler Thalblum plays a great Doug, and watching him encounter the various insurance characters is an absolute delight; his rivalry with Jake from State Farm is really fun, and the Shaq line had me rolling. I absolutely adored this sketch, and this is my blog so I'm putting it first and you can't stop me.

Actors writing and writors acting. Well that's just great — cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria — it's crazy. And since they put the reviewer in the show, I guess I have to put a bit of the show into my review. So until next time, remember, pineapple.

Reviewing Every King Arthur Movie: The 30s, 40s, and 50s

April 9, 2024

My most arduous quest yet begins here: watching and reviewing every King Arthur film. Every. Single. One.

Well, almost. I have a few criteria for what constitutes a King Arthur film:

1. The film must be available to watch. A few early movies have no surviving copies, those don’t count for obvious reasons.

2. The film must feature multiple Arthurian elements. That eliminates Son of Dracula, which features Merlin as an advisor to the Dracula family divorced from his historical context or the context of the legend, and the Kingsmen franchise, in which the characters use Arthurian codenames. But man, considering the quality of these films, the Kingsmen franchise might have been a welcome reprise. Oh well.

3. The film must be a feature-length film released in theaters, on streaming, or by television broadcast in one part. Two-part miniseries, though essentially feature films, don’t count, nor do shorts like the Three Stooges short “Squareheads of the Round Table”.

4. No serials; I’m not blowing four hours on what is essentially a Galahad TV show.

5. The film must be in English.

6. No “adult film” parodies.

In order to make this task more manageable, I’ve divided the movies into twelve eras, starting with the 30s, 40s, and 50s, where we find the first few still available King Arthur adaptations.

To make this ranking a little easier, I will give each film a score out of four. A ‘1’ represents a bad movie, like Rise of Skywalker or Wish. A ‘2’ represents a mediocre, watchable film, like Iron Man 2 or any Monsterverse movie. A ‘3’ represents a good, solid film, like Arthur the King (which is not a King Arthur film) or Tangled. And a ‘4’ is a great film, like The Mask of Zorro or Paddington. I think this ranking is a lot simpler than a 10-point or 5-point scale.

Alright, ready? Then let’s pay a visit to 1931, for our first entry:

A Connecticut Yankee (1931)

This film is an adaptation of the Mark Twain novel A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court. Released in 1931, amid the Great Depression, the film was nonetheless a critical success, and for good reason. The film follows radio salesman Hank Martin as he is cast back in time to Camelot. Despite some confusing plot beats, like how the movie has a modern-day plotline at the beginning and end with a confusing connection to the main story, the film is quite good. It depicts Arthur as an old and foolish but honorable king, with Hank, who assumes the title of Sir Boss, as a modern-day foil for the king. Likewise, it introduces Clarence as a friend to Hank; their friendship really makes you appreciate our Connecticut Yankee. Finally, you have a scheming charlatan Merlin acting as a major villain. What really works about this film is how over-the-top and serious all of the Arthurian characters are, which is an excellent contrast to Hank’s more down-to-earth nature.

And by the way, this film is absolutely hilarious. Despite coming out nearly a century ago, its humor holds up brilliantly. And that scene in the climax of a brigade of cars attacking a medieval castle is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a movie in a while.

Final Score: 4/4. I would recommend this to anyone wanting an old-fashioned comedy.

A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court (1949)

At first I had a bunch of other movies in this category, but none of them met my criteria. King Arthur Was a Gentleman isn’t really about King Arthur; Squareheads of the Round Table isn’t feature length; and The Adventures of Sir Galahad is a four-hour, fifteen-part serial; that’s a TV show.

This film, like our first entry, is an adaptation of the Mark Twain novel, but with a completely different tone. The protagonist, rather than a scrappy underdog, is a romantic leading man; an unnecessary main romance is forced into the story where none need exist; and the film is much less comedic. It’s a fantasy, instead of a comedy, and any gothic or science-fiction elements present in the 1931 film have been replaced with a slow-paced ‘adventure’.

The film hits many of the same beats as the 1931 film, but its slow pacing and lack of comedy produces an inferior picture. Likewise, as a pre-90s musical (by quite a while), the movie’s songs grind its pacing to a halt. With a focus on a traditional, infinitely charming leading man, the film fails to capture the likability of the relatable underdog Hank Martin of the ‘31 adaptation. Still, there are some good laughs and good moments, and so it’s a decent watch.

Oh, and like the ‘31 film, this movie employs a weird framing device in which characters from the present are implied to be reincarnations of the Arthurian characters or something like that.

Final Score: 2/4. If you like 1954’s White Christmas, which also stars Bing Crosby, you may enjoy this film, but even that movie is better than this one.

Knights of the Round Table (1953)

And with that, we enter the 50s! Okay, I’m going to be honest. This movie is kind of epic. If you want to watch a movie that feels like Sir Thomas Malory’s Le Morte d’Arthur, the definitive work on the legend, this movie hits the nail on the head. It takes liberties, for sure — combining the characters of Lot and Mordred, changing up the timeline with the Holy Grail quest, making Lancelot’s lover Elaine Percival’s sister — but these changes are minor and understandable, considering how accurate this film is to the legend. The early parts where Arthur has to unite the various warlord “kings” of a divided Britain feel straight out of Malory, and the historical context lends legendary weight to Arthur’s actions. The film also nails its key relationships — Merlin and Arthur’s parent-child dynamic, Lancelot and Guinevere’s star-crossed romance, Elaine’s ultimately unrequited love of Lancelot, and most crucially, Arthur and Lancelot’s enduring friendship. This lets the emotions hit properly, creating an investing emotional center for the film.

The movie isn’t perfect. The dialogue is a bit stilted, and there’s almost no magic — though in a modern blockbuster landscape that would normally fill this movie with CGI wizard battles, the human focus is appreciated. And the glorious ending with the Holy Grail is well worth the otherwise mundane setting. The pacing isn’t always as fast as it could be, though by and large it wasn’t a problem, especially compared to our previous film.

It’s clear that the filmmakers had great respect for Arthurian legend. As an adaptation, it’s the best so far, and I’m not sure any other movie on the list will top it. As a movie, it’s still quite good, though not quite great.

Finale Score: 3/4. Any fan of Arthurian legend will love this, and it’s a good enough film to entertain any casual viewer.

The Black Knight (1954)

This movie is really racist.

Okay, so the plot of The Black Knight is that a Saracen (meaning Middle-Eastern, in this case probably Babylonian) knight by the name of Sir Palamedes, played by Peter Cushing (of Star Wars fame) in brown face, infiltrates the Knights of the Round Table, and the generous white Christians, despite their initial hesitance, graciously allow the non-Christian (and implied to be nonreligious entirely) Saracen into their court. But Palamedes is secretly organizing raids against Camelot in a plot with the evil Cornish pagan King Mark to take over England and destroy Christianity. Sounds like something that would have been made post-9/11, but it turns out that the 50s were racist too! Anyway, a young, common blacksmith named John must take on the secret identity of the Black Knight to unveil the plot and save England.

In case you couldn’t tell, the film is very racist against people of Middle Eastern descent, with the three Saracen characters we meet being a conniving and traitorous villain, a mute servant working with the traitor, and a brute who attempts to sexually assault the main love interest (who I’ll get to in a second). The pagan characters, presumably of England’s original druidic faith, don’t fare much better, being foiled in a Stonehenge rescue of the main love interest when they try to sacrifice her to their sun god.

Quick refresh, in case you think this is what Arthurian legend is like: it’s not. King Mark is a villain in the legends, but he never tries to take over England and is more of a personal foe for Sir Tristan. Oh, and he’s Christian, like most of the other characters in legend, but heaven forbid one of the bad guys in the movie be a white Christian. Meanwhile, Palamedes is a Saracen and is a member of the Round Table, but he’s generally portrayed as heroic. Sure, he has flaws and petty rivalries, but he’s usually a heroic character; he befriends Pellinore and in some versions is one of the knights to finally slay the Questing Beast; and in the end he sides with Lancelot during his war with Arthur and is slain by a vengeful Gawain. Oh, and he was in love with Mark’s wife, so the two never would have gotten along.

On the topic of the main love interest, she’s the very worst of your stock damsels in distress. Don’t get me wrong, the previous films’ heroines were basically the definition of damsels in distress, but our earlier movies each had their own approach to making it work. A Connecticut Yankee makes its female lead a love interest for Clarence and an ancestor of Hank’s; her role serves almost as a parody of the traditional damsel in distress. A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court’s heroine chooses the man she loves instead of the one she’s supposed to marry, or at least tries to, at least exhibiting some agency. And Elaine and Guinevere getting rescued in Knights of the Round Table felt almost like ‘part of the job’ of being a medieval maiden, and both characters were at least given complex motivations and a bit of agency. The main love interest in this movie is one of the most generic damsel in distress ever put to screen, and as far as female characters go, is one of the worst-written ones I’ve ever seen.

As for the protagonist, he’s a badly acted and bland character who barely gets any screen time. I can hardly remember him, and the whole Black Knight plot is entirely forgettable. The score is decent, but it becomes so repetitive by the end that I started to dislike it. The film is competently made, and Palamedes gets one good villain line (“If you must have faith, have faith in me”), but unlike a film like Peter Pan, this movie doesn’t have the quality to counteract its problematic elements.

Final Score: 1/4. Would have been a 2 if it wasn’t for the racism. It isn’t worth anyone’s time.

Prince Valiant (1954)

Prince Valiant, adapting a comic of the same name, is a decent film about a Viking prince trying to earn his place at the Round Table. Like The Black Knight, the film features a member of the Round Table plotting treachery against the king with the help of a pagan outsider. Unlike that movie, this one isn’t especially racist. Indeed, the protagonist must actually overcome the prejudices he faces from the other characters for being a Viking.

The highlight of the film is King Luke of Ord and especially Sir Gawain, who serves the role of a battle-hardened older mentor to the titular Prince Valiant. While I haven’t read the source material, the film does feel ripped from a classic adventure comic. The story’s primary villain, a character not in the original legends named Sir Brack, serves as an effective foil for Valiant, and themes of birthright vs. merit weave throughout the film.

That said, the film is slow-paced as heck, and the final battle when they fight the evil Viking King kind of drags. The love triangle, while entertaining, was somewhat predictable. Let me put it this way: aside from some memorable characters, the best part of this film is the squire becoming a knight. But if you want a movie about that, A Knight’s Tale does the same thing much better, and frankly I’d sooner tell you to see that than this.

Final Score: 2/4. A passable film, but I’d just as soon watch A Knight’s Tale instead.

And there you have it folks, the first installment in my review and ranking of King Arthur’s entire filmography. You can find my quickly-expanding ranking of these films on my Official Ranking page, though I’ll of course keep it below my theater ranking, since that’s the main attraction. Still, this is a fun project, and I can’t wait to keep going. Next up on the agenda are the 1960s, and with them too of the most famous Arthur movies: the 1963 Disney animated adaptation of the T. H. White novel The Sword and the Stone, and the 1967 musical Camelot.

Fancasting King Arthur Using Seniors in Theater

April 2, 2024

I got a request for a Fan Cast, so I'm doing a fan cast, but it's going to be about Arthurian Legend, because I like Arthurian legend, okay?

The basic story of King Arthur is usually known only as fragments by the general public. One might have a basic understanding of Arthur's early years from Disney's adaptation of The Sword in the Stone, or a vague view of the Holy Grail quest from the Monty Python parody. So I'll briefly go over the basic plot beats, as established in the most definitive source on the topic, Le Morte d'Arthur.

Uther Pendragon was the King of England, who lusted after Igraine, the wife of Gorlois, duke of Cornwall. He went to war with Gorlois over this and ended up slaying the duke and, with the help of his magical advisor Merlin, took Gorlois's form to sleep with Igraine. After the war, the pair married, and Arthur was born. But then Uther died, and Merlin hid Arthur away with one of Uther's knights, named Ector. In the meantime, King Lot, the husband of Gorlois and Igraine's daughter (in some versions Morgause, though in this version she will be Morgana), became acting regent of England. But in the courtyard of Canterbury Cathedral, a sword in a stone appeared with the following inscription: Whoso pulleth this sword from the stone is duly born king of all England.

Arthur was tutored by Merlin and trained as the squire of Ector's son Kay until he turned fifteen and attended a tournament with his foster-father and foster-brother. Having forgotten Kay's sword in an inn at which they were staying, Arthur pulled the sword out of the stone. When the gathered crowd learned this, they put the sword back in the stone, taking turns trying to pull it out again, but only Arthur could. After months of delay, Arthur was made king.

This caused Lot to go to war with Arthur, unwilling to relinquish control of England. Morgana went to Arthur in disguise and slept with him (yes, they are half-siblings, it's gross) to get information about his side of the war, leading her to become pregnant with a son Lot erroneously believed to be his own. The child war born on May Day and named Mordred. With the help of the French kings Ban and Bors, Arthur won the war, but Merlin gave him a prophecy of his defeat by a child born on the first of May. Arthur thus ordered that all children born on that day be brought to him, including Mordred, and he sent them on a ship to a far-off land where they could never hurt him. However, the ship sank, and all but Mordred drowned.

With the help of an Irish King, Lot waged war on Arthur once more. With the help of the island king Pellinore and the King of Carhaix, Leodegrance, Arthur defeated Lot, who was slain by Pellinore. Lot's sons, led by Sir Gawain, began a blood feud with Pellinore, which ended in Pellinore's death. Arthur established the Knights of the Round Table, recruiting Gawain and his brothers; Percival, a son of Pellinore; King Bors's son, Bors the younger; Mordred, when he reached adulthood, though his parentage remained a secret; and King Ban's son, who was orphaned at a young age and raised by the mystical sorceress the Lady in the Lake: Lancelot. Merlin, meanwhile, was betrayed by a lover, either the Lady in the Lake or Morgana, and magically imprisoned.

The knights went on many adventures, including the quest for the Holy Grail, the cup of Jesus Christ. Many knights quested for the grail, but only three reached the castle in which it was kept: Galahad, the virginal son of Lancelot; Percival; and Bors the Younger. Galahad claimed the grail and ascended to heaven, while Percival stayed to rule the Grail Castle and Bors returned to Camelot.

But not all was well in Camelot. When Mordred discovered his ancestry, he plotted to overthrow his father. Lancelot had an affair with Guinevere, which was revealed to Arthur by either Mordred or Morgana. Arthur attempted to burn Guinevere at the stake for her adultery, but Lancelot rescued her, killing Gawain's brothers in the process. Arthur declared war against Lancelot, and the Round Table split into factions. Some, including Gawain, joined Arthur in his pursuit of Lancelot. Some, including Sir Bors, joined Lancelot. And some secretly aided Mordred in his scheme to take the throne.

Arthur and Gawain pursued Lancelot to a stronghold in France while Mordred forged a letter from Arthur establishing him as King. Gawain was gravely wounded in a duel with Lancelot, but given mercy, and Arthur was forced to abandon his pursuit of the traitor to return to England and confront Mordred. Dying from his wounds, Gawain sent a final letter to Lancelot, telling him to aid Arthur, and Lancelot went to England to do just that. Whether or not Lancelot arrived in time for the final battle varies.

In a final battle in the fields of Camlann, almost all of the remaining knights were slain. Arthur charged twenty knights, slaying all of them, before killing Mordred, though he suffered fatal wounds in the process. In the aftermath of the battle, the surviving knights gathered around the dying king. One knight, Sir Bedivere, threw Arthur's sword Excalibur into the sea, summoning the Lady of the Lake and a redeemed Morgana. The sorceresses brought Arthur by boat to the mystical island of Avalon, where he would rest and be healed for an eventual return, thus making him the Once and Future King. In the aftermath, Bors the Younger was made king and Lancelot and Guinevere become a monk and a nun, respectively, and die from plague two years later.

Alright, with that out of the way, it's time for the fan cast.

King Arthur Pendragon

For Arthur, we need a figure of wisdom and might, who can portray a child with wisdom beyond his years and the weight of the world on his shoulders early on and a middle-aged king gradually losing control of his kingdom later on. For this role, we need someone who can play a dark and serious character, but also a heroic one. For this role, we'll go with Owen Unrein; there isn't really a place for Unrein's trademark comedy in the central narrative of Arthurian legend, and I think he could play Arthur with proper dramatic flair.

Lancelot

For Lancelot, I think we pick Henry Monahan. Lancelot is known for his bouts of madness, which could play to Monahan's comedic talents, but I also think that he could play up the drama some as well. Also, Lancelot is the only knight in Arthurian legend to slay a dragon, so there's that.

Guinevere

Guinevere's hard to characterize. For such an important figure in legend, she actually receives very little characterization. We do know that she cheated on her husband, becomes a nun, has an evil twin, and is a princess. So... I guess I'll cast Sara Schumacher, I think she could do well with this role.

Lot

It's Austin Casey, no contest. Lot is an evil has-been clinging to ill-gotten power, the first major villain of Arthurian legend, and after seeing Casey's performance as the Uncle in Chrys de Latis, he could knock this role out of the park. Lot begins as a mustache-twiller, but later on he gains depth when he seeks vengeance for the apparent death of his supposed son Mordred.

Gawain

Gawain has to be my favorite Knight of the Round Table. The son of King Lot and Morgana, Gawain was offered a place at the Round Table following his father's death as a sort of peace offering. He's got three basic characteristics that inform his motivation and make him a complex character. First, he has an obsession with being the perfect knight, even as he constantly falls short. The Green Knight story highlights his perfectionist nature, as does his romance with Dame Ragnelle. Second is his obsession with revenge; when King Pellinore kills his father, Gawain and his brothers begin a blood feud with Pellinore's line. And when Lancelot kills his brothers, Gawain follows him to France to try to kill him, only giving up this obsession on his deathbed. But there is a gentler side of Gawain, too — he is a champion for the overlooked. He is known as a protector of women and the poor, as well as a mentor for younger knights. I'd give this role to Cy Conaway, because of course.

Mordred

The primary villain of Arthurian legend, much like his stepfather Lot, doesn't see a lot of focus in modern adaptations. Sure, he was apparently a big part of Excalibur (which I have not seen) and does receive some focus in the surprisingly entertaining (if laughably low-budget) Disney Channel film Avalon High. But by in large he's underutilized. Mordred is a difficult character to nail down. He begins as a traditional, if young, knight in shining armor, but he's also a vengeful schemer, filled with rage. You know I'm giving this to Nick Hays; we all know he makes an excellent villain.

Percival

The son of Pellinore, Percival is the knight who, according to some legends, finds the Holy Grail. Given our admittedly limited cast, I think it's best to remove Galahad from the equation all together and just make Percival the Grail Knight, as was the case in earlier legend. Percival is young, wide-eyed, and optimistic. He's occasionally naive, but his heart is pure and his intentions noble. I'll cast this as Grant Kozisek; I think he could be a likeable Percival.

Merlin

Merlin was tricky; as one of the most complex characters in Arthurian legend, he was difficult to cast. Merlin is a genius, with fortelling powers that allow him to see the future. He acts as an agent of destiny and a mentor, but occasionally as a fool, deceived by his arrogance into thinking himself invulnerable. I think that Hayden Hughes could do well with this part.

Morgana

Morgana, or Morgan le Fay is relatively unimportant in Arthurian legend, though recent adaptations have taken to combining her with her sister Morgause, producing a composite character who is both a promiscuous, black-hearted schemer and sorceress like Morgana and the mother of Mordred and wife of Lot as well. This is a fun villain, one who you can't help but root for as she uses her understanding of society's view of her as a woman to her advantage while privately breaking free of her noblewoman constraints. I'll give this one to Myah Dobbins, I think she could make this character fun.

Lady of the Lake

The Lady of the Lake, sometimes known as Nimue, is a complex character. In some versions, she's a lover to Merlin, and even the one responsible for his imprisonment — though how justified she is in this action varies from version to version, and sometimes this act is given to Morgana. The Lady is a fairy character, and in some versions is the one to give Arthur Excalibur. And she's a maternal figure, raising Lancelot, and in some versions his cousin, Bors the Younger, after the death of their fathers. I think that Nimue creates an interest contrast to Morgana and Guinevere; all three are noble women in a world where women, particularly those of status, are confined. Guinevere accepts this confinement, but it poisons her, makes her desperate enough to turn to adultery. Morgana turns to hatred to break free of this system, rejecting it entirely and everyone in it. But Nimue finds a place of honor of her own, on her own terms, emancipating herself (to an admittedly limited extent) through kindness and wisdom. Merlin has no equal, but the only one who comes even close is Nimue. For this role I think that Sammy Robertson would be appropriate.

Bors the Younger

Lancelot's older cousin isn't perfect, but he has a level head and serves as a reasonably everyman in a court of larger-than-life figures. He is one of only three knights (including Galahad and Percival) to reach the Grail Castle, and he's the one to bring the story back to Camelot. One of the few knights to live past the Battle of Camlann, Bors becomes King because he proves himself as a strong leader when England needs it most. Frankly, Bennett Calvert is pretty much who I picture in my head as Bors anyway, so I see it as fitting that he be my cast for the character.

Dindrane

Using the name Dindrane, I'm really referring more to Percival's sister in general here. There aren't many women in Arthurian legend, but Percival's sister is one of the most interesting. Though the name Dindrane comes from another source, the most important story concerning Percival's sister is in her capacity as the Grail Heroine. You see, after all of Arthur's best knights — Lancelot and Palamedes and Gawain and the rest — had failed, only four passed their tests of morality and arrived at the Castle of the Holy Grail: Galahad, Percival, Bors, and Percival's sister, the Grail Heroine. But the price for entry at the Grail Castle was steep — the blood of a princess, pure of heart. Percival's sister sacrificed her life so that the Grail could be found, succumbing to blood loss. The quest was achieved, but with Galahad ascending and Percival staying to rule the castle, only Bors returned to tell the heroine's story. This role I think I would give to Ashley Brixley-Thatcher; it's true that she played a more villainous character in Cuckoo's Nest, but I think she could pull off Dindrane pretty well.

And there you have it. Terribly sorry if I forgot someone, I'll try to add them in if I did. I do hope you enjoyed this article, and until next time, remember: if you ever see a magic sword lodged in a stone, leave it there. It's not worth it.

Offerings Review

March 3, 2024

Offerings is the relatively straightforward one-act that followed Tracks on Friday. This was, admittedly, the lesser of the two shows of the night. Though the cast was less experienced than that of Tracks, I also think that Tracks had an overall better script.

Still, Offerings is a welcome return for the sophomore shows that were sadly absent from last year. Technically speaking, not everyone in the cast was a sophomore, but this show was still comprised mostly of new talent. I'll get to performances a little later.

The actual story of Offerings is a bit repetitive, and doesn't offer much payoff for its story. Basically, characters have to offer items up to a box, explain their significance, and then wait to learn if their items were accepted or rejected. The audience and characters are left guessing as to the criteria by which the mysterious disembodied voice and his colleagues are judging the offerings. It can't be personal significance, because a crayon and fishing fly of extreme significance are rejected while a basically useless penny and a purchased sea shell are accepted. It can't be a lack of personal significance, because a useless wad of gum was denied while a treasured football is accepted. No physical properties of the object seem to matter either - a soccer ball was rejected while a football was accepted. Some have theorized that it was about a personal sense of acceptance or something.

My theory is based on Sam's offering — a penny, used to make decisions a few times in the show. See, my guess is that the decision is a random, 50% chance. A football, penny, apology, and conch are accepted while a crayon, wad of gum, fishing fly, pencil, and soccer ball are rejected — about a 50-50 ratio, although it's a little lower if you count the pencil twice. It's what makes sense to me, at least. The show's lack of payoff leaves it up to interpretation, even if it's a bit unsatisfying.

The set was minimal, and while I don't think that the minimalist design was used quite as creatively as in Tracks, Midsummer Night's Dream, or even (from a few years ago) Dracula. That said, the script doesn't exactly allow for that. The sound design was good, even if it was limited to the disembodied voice. The costuming, being basically what the actors would wear to school, isn't anything to write home about (unlike in Tracks), though I do appreciate Parker Monson's attire, even if it was a bit on-the-nose.

As for performances, there were several promising ones. The three most established members of the cast all delivered solid performances. Hannah Gold portrayed the obsession of Carla suitably well; Dannon Mwangi, although better suited for comedy, delivered a solid performance as Casey; and Michael Muller gave my personal favorite performance of his so far as Sam, after his smaller role in Cuckoo's Nest; Muller is someone to keep an eye on in the future.

A favorite for others I spoke to was Sienna Siefert's Mickey; perhaps it is the writing, but she portrays a character who cares about winning more than anything convincingly. Parker Monson's as Jake more reserved acting style was another favorite of my confidants. Not to be excluded is Yarnell himself as the disembodied voice; whether or not the occasional shade of annoyance in his performance was a good choice, his voice role did enhance to production. (See, I can say nice things about Yarnell.)

That said, I don't think my Best Performance pick will come as a surprise to anyone who watched the show: Emma Sykora as Meg. Sykora was given a tough role for her first performance at the school (outside of FNL), but she rose to the challenge, conveying the character with emotion and nuance. It was a good cast, to be sure.

Well, that's about it. And until next time, remember, I'm not saying that Offerings is amateur hour. I'm just saying that it's approximately an hour long and its cast is filled with unpaid high schoolers. Actually, come to think of it, Offerings is literally amateur hour.

Tracks Review

March 2, 2024

You guys aren't making my job easy this year, are you? First you do a show that I can't even see all of, then you do a highly experimental show where the characters are played by different actors with each scene, then you beat me up at an improv show, and now you do two shows in one night? Regardless, I actually quite enjoyed this format. So far the one-act has been highly successful at BV, and now there's an interesting spin: doing two one-acts that are different shows. Tracks follows a group of people who find themselves in a train station after their deaths, unsure of whether their train leads to heaven or hell. All in all, Tracks was superior to Offerings, which I plan on reviewing in the near future.

The show itself is tightly written, and the one-act formula gives it a faster pace that I really enjoy. I appreciate that they don't take too long to reveal that all the characters are dead; you can guess it yourself pretty quick, and so the show lets the characters figure it out within the first ten minutes or so. When the businesswoman credits their circumstances with a government experiment or alien abduction, all I could think was, there's a character who's seen some BVHS shows before. Anyway, because the play doesn't make whether or not the characters are dead a mystery, it allows itself to be devoted to exploring the nature of uncertainty, the common theme of last night's shows.

The set was minimal but effective, and your mind does start to fill out the details of a dirty, nondescript train station when you watch it. Towards the end there were interesting moments of light and sound, both of which were effective at portraying the arrival of the train at the end. Interestingly (to me), the blocking in that moment makes it feel like the audience (at least my side of it) is the train, almost implying that the viewer has already arrived at the afterlife. This is the first student-directed show at the school, and while the director's place in the cocktail of a show is difficult to detect, everything seemed to flow well.

Tracks had an almost mainstage-quality cast. Ashley Brixley-Thatcher and Bennett Calvert continue their streak of good performances after One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, with Calvert being a fan-favorite among those I spoke to after the show. After playing a villain with little underlying complexity in Cuckoo's Nest, Brixley-Thatcher proved herself able to rise to the more conflicted characterization of the businesswoman. Also returning from Cuckoo's Nest is blog-favorite Myah Dobbins, who had a few moments to shine as a homeless girl.

New cast members also came through, showing their talent for the first time. Mary Elizabeth Puttoff, who I did not know existed until four days ago, was a scene-stealer as the old woman. Tylar Beck, in what I believe to be her first non-improv role, was another good cast as the nun. She brought a sincerity to the character that makes this show a worthy debut for Beck and proof that she can play drama. Joey Dioszeghy and Kylie Shafer both had very promising debuts as well; I hope to see them in a few more shows before the year is out.

Anyway, this was a short, snappy one-act that I quite enjoyed. More quality shows like this, and this could turn out as the best season of theater this school has turned out. And until next time...

Wait. We're not done yet. I still need to give out Best Performance. Calvert, Puttoff, and Beck all came close, but this time, I'm going to give the coveted prize to Sagie Snir as the Professer [sic]. The other actors were acting, and they were acting well, mind you, but Snir was simply being, disappearing entirely into his character in a way I've only seen one actor at this school do before. The Professer [sic] felt real, felt genuine, because of Snir's performance, and I found myself entirely convinced that this high school sophomore was a fallible, middle-aged intellectual. Believe me, I did not expect to be giving out Best Performance to a sophomore when the upperclassmen in the cast were this good, but Snir earned it.

And until next time, remember, Hell isn't fire and brimstone, it isn't an icy lake of trapped sinners or other people or your own mind. Hell is the public transporation system.

Chrys De Lautis Review

February 22, 2024

Yesterday Colton Fieger forced me to catcall Myka Beck. I feel unwell.

Chrys de Lautis is a highly experimental show, and I'm afraid that it doesn't really work. The throughlines in the story are so thin that they feel incomprehensible, and the various genres feel like window dressing to a story that didn't make sense. Ultimately, Chrys de Lautis feels like what would happen if you threw a community theater's repertoire into a blender with the curriculum of a theater literature class and tried to perform the result. 

My real complaint, I think, is this: What was the point? How do the genres of theater presented in the show enhance or comment on the story, or else how does the story comment on the various genres? The answer, unfortunately, is that they don't, rendering the gimmick meaningless.

Okay, I don't want to be too mean. The scenes themselves had some entertainment value, especially the comedic scenes. Yeah, the connective tissue was basically nonsense, but the individual scenes were effective, when they were more or less disconnected from the story. The Sketch Comedy, Children's Story, Commedia dell'Arte, Melodrama, One Man show, Vaudeville, and Fantasy were the ones that I think worked for me.

My favorite scene in the show, however, is the Reader's Theater scene. Even though the main plot was at the forefront during this scene, a complaint I have with the other scenes, the Reader's Theater actually enhanced the story, something no other medium or genre throughout the show accomplished. It almost made me wish the whole show was just in the Reader's Theater format. This was enhanced by the performances, especially those of Andrew Monahan in my favorite role of his so far and Austin Casey, who I will touch on a little later.

Before I start talking about performances, let's talk crew. This show had a skeleton crew behind the scenes, with one sound person, one lights person, and a stage manager. While I will not, as suggested, be giving Owen Unrein the coveted Best Performance for his work on lights, there were occasional flashes of creative lighting during the show. Sound was less noticeable except during the Melodrama, but it was generally without issue.

The programs were particularly high-quality, though I'm getting a little bit sick of the whole QR-code program thing. They're easy to miss, force the audience to use their phones to see the program (distracting from the performance onstage) and leave no souvenir for the show afterward. Just butcher some trees and let Donaldson replace them, for pete's sake!

Alright, now let's talk performance. Miscellaneously, we have our narrator-type characters: A sharply-dressed Nick Hays, a hilariously expressive Colton Fieger, and a defiant Andrew Monahan. By this point, the former two feel like pros, taking us through the stories of the next generation, while the latter rises to serve as adversary for an intimidating presence.

As for our Boys, we have Will Frasier in one of his first major roles at BV. I actually really enjoyed what he did in the opening scene, and I hope to see more. Jordan Shah returned as Jordan Shah again, but this time, he was Jordan Shah. Andrew Mazzapica was very fun in the Comedia scene, and Apolo Harkleroad flirting with Sara Schumacher was... um... I... Anyway, Nick Hays as Dirk Goodall was a fun cast, and I think that his over-the-top acting really enhanced that scene. Jacob Banman was perhaps a bit upstaged by Myka Beck, though he held his own well enough, and Hayden Hughes brought his usual charm in the Fantasy sequence. My favorite Boy is probably Colton Fieger though for his hilarious body language and accent. It felt like an homage to the similar Hansel and Gretel of Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon two years ago, but maybe I'm just getting old. Runner-up is Andre Mazzapica.

It's Girl time. Mia Mondry played the Girl in the third scene and actually depicted Gretel with a lot of emotion; Mondry is someone to keep an eye on in the future, I can feel it. Her role in the later scenes was somewhat less memorable. Myka Beck is probably my runner-up for favorite Girl; she played the character in the Comedia as well as the Melodrama, the latter of which was delightfully bizarre; she also showed up in the role during Vaudeville. Cy Conaway in the One Man Show is probably best categorized as the Girl, since that's the character he primarily played. He was, of course, a great pick for the scene and filled up the stage with the conventionally Conaway confidence that commanded the room. Unfortunately, gone are the days in which a one man show alone will win you Best Performance. My favorite Girl in the show was probably Lilliana Mikuls, who gave her best performance to date in various scenes. My favorite scene of her's was probably the Fantasy, where she went toe-to-toe with Cy Conaway. Not an easy task.

Alright, Witch time. Lillie Mikuls's take on the Witch was a good way to introduce the character in her traditional fairy tale form. Cy Conaway's witch was suitably campy, while Andrew Monahan's take on the character was actually really sincere and serious for a character played in drag (especially at this school). Putting Monahan in a dress and giving him drama didn't seem like a winning recipe, but this very different role suited the stage manager's brother. Tyler Thalblum By the time we got to Sammy Robertson's witch, I'd kind of lost the plot with that character, so admittedly I didn't really know what was going on. Myka Beck did slam poetry and I don't know how to react to that. Sara Schumacher's witch died? I think? I don't know, by this point I was really confused. My favorite Witch, though, is the one in the first scene: Apolo Harkleroad, who was wonderfully delightful as a Mrs. Doubtfire-style cook. And don't tell my Mrs. Doubtfire wouldn't put poison in other people's food, because she does that in the movie.

And finally, we get to the villainous Uncle. While several actors played the character, only three really left an impact, though the ones who did were the highlights of the show. As far as I can tell, Hayden Hughes is the first uncle, and he was actually my favorite performance early on, though later he was overshadowed. Hughes needs to play villains more often, because he can depict a delightful malice with flair. Cy Conaway as the Uncle in the fantasy sequence was likely one of my favorite performances, and with a black cape and a dramatic flare, he felt like a proper dark lord. If nothing else, this show indicates that the program should do more fantasy stuff, because that was one of the best scenes, and Conaway (along with Mikuls) really made it dramatic.

My favorite Uncle, though, is getting Best Performance: Austin Casey as the Uncle.

I know. Going into this show, I never would have guessed that Casey would win. Don't get me wrong, Casey has been good in prior plays, but he's been stuck in microscopic parts for the past two years. His most notable role prior to this was Snug, where he roared well. While I like to award Best Performance to side characters, until now Casey's roles haven't been big enough to even be up for consideration. But man, he knocked it out of the park with this one. I'm specifically referring to the Reader's Theater scene, wherein Casey brings in a drama and malice that, in all honesty, steals the show. Casey finally had a chance to shine, and he really didn't squander it. Good job, Austin.

And until next time, remember, it's not the stage manager that holds the power: it's lights and sound. Try getting your evil plan to culminate on a dark stage with a dead microphone.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest Review

February 18, 2024

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is, simply put, good theater. While some stories are entertaining to watch but have little substance, while others are boring and hard to watch because of their deep thematic elements, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest threads the needle of being extremely watchable as it unfolds while providing real themes to chew on. This is a show I will remember for a long time.

For one thing, the show is more adult than any of the previous ones at this school; as soon as I saw the warning that there would be "Course Language and Adult Themes Throughout" I knew I was in for a good time, and I was not disappointed. Don't get me wrong, age-appropriate works can be very good, but there's something to be said for how mature this work is, allowing the story to feel raw and uncensored.

One thing I appreciate about the show is how funny it is, something you rarely see with dramas. This is helpful for a number of reasons; for starters, it gives comedic levity to the dark environment. Second, it allows the audience to get attached to the characters as we laugh alongside them. And third, by allowing us intentional places to laugh, it safeguards against the possibility of the drama being undercut by unintentional hilarity.

My favorite scene in One Flew Over is the final scene of Act 1, because of how it gives you a rollercoaster of emotions; first you have the vote about the World Series, in which all of the characters present finally raise their hands; and then you have the realization that the vote has to be unanimous; and then the moment where Chief Bromden raises his hand and the game plays; followed by the crushing defeat of the nurse overriding democracy anyway; and then finally the moment where they pretend to watch the game anyway. It's an electric way to end the first act, and you can't help but feel uplifted by the character's success in such dire circumstances. When we get to the second act and the nurse declares that there must be a punishment, you want someone to ask her what the patients actually did wrong. The real answer, of course, is that they had fun.

You know from the beginning that Randle McMurphy is doomed, really; and you know from the first mention of lobotomy what his fate will be. But that's a strength of the show, not a weakness, because it allows you to celebrate the temporary victories, but still gives you that sense of foreboding, knowing that McMurphy can't keep this up forever. But the show does its audience a kindness: by allowing the Chief to tear out the electrical box and escape the asylum, it provides a final note of hope for the show to end on, one last catharsis to provide merciful relief from the tragedy.

There are so, so many interesting themes present in this show — mental illness, nature vs. technology, masculinity and femininity, authority and control, democracy, even subtle Christ allegory with McMurphy — the last of which puts into irony the moment near the end when Nurse Ratched asks McMurphy if he is God.

With a fantastic script to work with, could the department build a cast worthy to perform the show? Of course. Since they have small casts and require auditions that are available to the entire school, mainstages are known for their amazing acting, and this show is no exception. It's always been hard for me to select a Best Performance in these shows, since everybody involved is so stellar.

Let's talk about some of the highlights. I mentioned how in Newsies, Apolo Harkleroad played one of my favorite bit parts because of his expressiveness, and it's much the same here, though with a slightly bigger role as Aid Warren. He's given great lines, including my two favorites of his, mainly due to Harkleroad's delivery: "Supper time, gentlemen" and "Seclusion room. On the floor." This is actually a good time to point out one of the show's strengths: the fact that the actors were allowed to make so many character choices that really make this version of the production unique; in the original script, Warren is supposed to be grinning during this line, but in the BVHS version, Harkleroad plays the character as horrified, which adds to the comedy of the moment.

Sara Schumacher's character, Nurse Flinn, has scarcely any lines, and yet is given a life of her own by the direction and performances. You see a portrait of a woman completely dominated by her boss, scared out of her mind by Ratched. Yet she sympathizes with the prisoners, smiling only once in the whole show, when she turns on the television during the World Series, only for Ratched to turn it off. But then, a change occurs at the end of the show, when McMurphy is lobotomized; Flinn stares daggers at Ratched, finally unafraid. I've said it before, but it's almost ridiculous how little Schumacher is used in these shows; let's hope that after her role here we can see her in some bigger parts down the line.

On another note, we're finally seeing Trevor Lewis in a play, this time as a complete psychopath. Though Lewis was quite entertaining in Newsies, the Jack Kelly character is relatively bland; it's far more entertaining to see Lewis play a more out-of-the-box character, which he got here. Similarly, Owen Unrein got to play a character far different from his normal type of role, to fantastic results. This may just be Unrein's best performance to date (at least outside of improv), a sentiment you're going to hear about a lot of actors in this article.

Colton Fieger's role as Ruckly was pretty small, so there isn't too much to say, though I don't have any real complaints. As for Martini, well, that's more complicated. The role was originally cast for Cy Conaway, who played it really well; it's honestly one of my favorite Conaway performances, though I think that on the whole I prefer Dewey from Fated. However, after the first night, Conaway fell sick and had to be replaced by stage manager Nick Hays. I prefered Conaway's performance personally, which is understandable given that he had far more time than Hays to prepare; frankly, it's a miracle how well Hays did with the role. Make no mistake — Hays gave a good performance, and nothing about it made it feel like he was out of place, which is quite a feat, given that he basically had one day to memorize lines.

I haven't seen Anna Schumacher in much, but she did really well with the role she had here; I hope to see her in more productions. Hannah Gold gave her best performance to date as Candy Star, whom she played to practical perfection.

Grant Kozisek was a great cast for Dale Harding. Harding is perhaps the most dynamic character in the whole show, beginning as a sort of teacher's pet and ending as a firm rebel in the likes of McMurphy. Kozisek captured that all quite well. My absolute favorite performance of his is still Valentino from Mary Poppins, but this was still a good one for him.

Before we get to my four favorite performances, let's talk about the non-acting work. The sound during this performance was on-point, and the lighting was subtle but effective. The real star of the show, though, was the set; this is probably the best set any show at Blue Valley has had during my time here, excepting the fall musicals. The single set for the entire show allowed the space to feel tangible and real; while I appreciate the minimalism present in something like last year's A Midsummer Night's Dream, this set is an impressive feat.

Oh, and since this has become a running gag at this point, let's interrupt the flow of the article to talk about Jordan Shah, this time as Doctor Spivey. This is my favorite Jordan Shah performance to date, and Shah's reserved poise in his acting is steadily growing on me. Admittedly he wasn't a standout amongst the other actors, but it's hard to with this cast.

[A note, added later. It has come to my attention that I have overlooked two of the performances in the show, those of Michael Muller as Aid Williams and Myah Dobbins as Aid Turkle. Both roles were relatively small, but I hate to exclude just two actors, even by oversight. While Harkleroad's Warren was more comedic, Muller played Williams with a more sinister and malicious manner that added texture to the show. I haven't seen Muller in many shows, but I am interested by what he did with Williams and would be interested in seeing his part in future projects. Dobbins, on the other hand, is a favorite of this blog; she was a fun cast for Turkle who played the character with a sense of jovial cynicism. My favorite Dobbins role, outside of FNL, is still probably from Rock of Ages. My apologies for neglecting to mention Muller and Dobbins in the original version of this article; I try to get to everyone, but I'm an individual in a peerless job, so if I don't mention you, you don't get mentioned, and that's not really fair.]

Alright, now for the big four, in the order in which I liked them. First, let me be clear: this is Tyler Thalblum's absolute best performance yet, blowing anything I've seen him in previously out of the water. To be fair, Thalblum hasn't acted in that many shows before, but in this show, Thalblum becomes a whole different person onstage, bringing Billy Bibbit to life. The whole time you have nothing but sympathy for the character, and his highest and lowest moment in the show are some of the hardest-hitting plot beats because of it.

Next we have Ashley Brixey-Thatcher as Nurse Ratched. Brixey-Thatcher rarely appears in plays, but in this one, she knocked it out of the park, playing Ratched with a poisonous sweetness that makes her character a villain for the ages. Apparently before the show Brixey-Thatcher was somehow unaware that Daily Campfire Review existed, so if she's reading this, welcome to the blog, home of the most trusted critic of Blue Valley High School theater. Also the only one.

Ultimately, though, there were only two real contenders for Best Performance here, and this may surprise some people, but I'm actually not going to give the coveted prize to Henry Monahan. Don't get me wrong, Monahan is a really good actor, and Randle Patrick McMurphy is probably his best performance yet. He plays the character with comedic brilliance early on, but also with a humanity that makes you realize how much McMurphy cares about the other patients. After the first show, I was going to give him Best Performance; he is an acting juggernaut from the moment he first appears and never lets up. Prize or no, this performance is an absolute win for Monahan.

That said, it was in the second showing that I really grew to appreciate the subtlety of Bennett Calvert's Chief Bromden. The character gives monologues between most scenes, giving the audience the impression that the man who is above the notice of the other characters (other than McMurphy, of course) actually knows a lot more than he lets on. Calvert does so much acting while barely moving and not saying a word. And then in the second act he comes alive and makes you buy the relationship between Bromden and McMurphy very well. After spending so many shows merely as stage manager, it's good to see Calvert get to act. He also brings a great physicality to the role; this is the first time I've felt like Bennett Calvert is big, but he sold me on the Chief's strength and size.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is the best show the theatre department has put on during my enrollment at Blue Valley High School. I have a feeling that it would take a Herculean effort to remove it from that spot.

And until next time, remember, Grant Kozisek likes those ample bosoms.

A Very Fifth Wall Christmas Review

December 16, 2023

Ah, good old reliable fifth wall. There was a show last night, and it was good. I won't make this review too long, because I've said quite a bit about improv in the past. The newer games are still fresh and interesting, especially the Dating Game. This crowd of performers brings a  different vibe to last year's. They're more chaotic, more willing to mix it up and bring in audience members. This troupe of course included the single shortest round of Beastie Rap I have ever seen. This group's greatest strength is undoubtedly its physical comedy, which sells their performances very well. Of course, it wouldn't be a Fifth Wall show without the performers taking off their shoes, throwing them at the audience, and making foot jokes.

The new cast is the primary focus of these changes. From my perspective, this group feels transitional in nature, composed of people I've seen act and grow for years, and a new crowd making Fifth Wall their own. It's hard to believe that this ship of Theseus has become so unlike the one I first heard about my Freshman year, one that started as an institution of upperclassman and has ended the domain of those younger than I. There's something melancholy about it.

Anyway, sorry for the shorter review, but that's what I have to say. Some reviews are long (Newsies), but some are just bite-sized, liek this one. Have a nice day.

Newsies Review

December 11, 2023

I absolutely love the fall musical. It's a big event that really ties the community together, and, with the possible exception of Homecoming, it's the biggest schoolwide annual event. From the three-night run to the cross-department work to the professionalism about the production — all of it makes the musical feel like a really big deal.

Newsies is the best musical I've seen at Blue Valley, with the possible exception of Anastasia. The show completes what I have deemed the Sam Dollins/Blue Valley Poor Dudes in Caps Trilogy that began with Anastasia and Mary Poppins. Something about this show is different than those two. While those explored very personal and individual stories, Newsies takes on the daunting task of bringing New York City to life onstage.

The musical does this by filling out the cast with small characters and bit parts that offer the city loads of personality. From Sara Schumacher's Spot Conlon (seriously, how is her most significant role still the narrator part she got in Brothers Grimm?) to Cy Conaway's Romeo to Will Frasier's Snyder (an actor I look forward to seeing more of) to Sagie Snir's two characters (both played quite well), good actors feature in memorable bits that make the city come to life. The show features its best dancers in the choreography, even if they aren't leads or even named characters, and the body language of the extras serves to give even the smallest part a bit of character.

This, I think, was the best musical to pick this year. Its ensemble cast with memorable side characters served such a wide cast of excellent actors. Other than those mentioned previously, I think that Pulitzer's ensemble has quite a few highlights — longtime readers will know that I'm always a fan of Myah Dobbins, but Maddie Cavin blended into her part well enough that I didn't even realize it was her until the end of the second performance I watched. I think, however, that my hunch from Fated was right: Jacob Bandman is someone to look out for in future shows.

When it comes to bit parts in this show, it's hard to choose a favorite, but gun to my head, I think I'd pick Apolo Harkleroad as Albert. In spite of the fact that, unless your last name is Harkleroad, you didn't even know his character's name until you just read it, Apolo is one of the most expressive actors I've seen, a very important quality when you can't rely on your minimal lines for characterization.

Before we get to bigger parts, let's talk about the writing. The show's story works on the big scale, when it's focusing on the ensemble, though I'll admit that in spite of a good performance, the show's protagonist feels somewhat uninteresting, especially in the second act. The actual state of the strike is sometimes inconsistent, and the central romance is fairly uninteresting, if fun.

That said, the big moments of newsies banding together, usually in big ensemble songs, carry the show into greatness. I think that the music is on point, with several fun show tunes, though the audio mixing felt a bit off. It was often hard to hear the words over the blasting instrumentals — good instrumentals, mind you, due to a particularly high-quality pit orchestra — especially in brief moments of inarticulation.

Alright, enough with the bad stuff, let's get to the bigger roles.

We'll start with Owen Unrein, who you could tell had a great time with a fun role as Ed "Racetrack" Higgins. It's really good to see Unrein go back to his comedic roots after receiving so many dramatic roles recently. While he's good in those, it's clear Unrein's real talent shines when he's making you laugh.

Now for the minor villains. I think that Nick Hays has really found his niche playing the bad guy, and it suits his acting talents. Obviously he was the best part of Crafting a Killer, but here he solidifiers his skill in the niche. Andrew Mazzapica and especially Bennett Calvert as DeLancy Brothers were always fun to watch, but the best part was during intermission, when they got to improvise in order to warm up the audience. The duo played off each other well — one memorable moment came during Saturday intermission, when I mentioned that the newspaper declaring the Newsies strike didn't actually have an article about the Newsies on it. Without missing a beat, Calvert said, "That's Mr. Pulitzer, working his magic." Hilarious, and probably my favorite performance of Calvert's outside of improv to date. I haven't seen Mazzapica in much, but he matched wits with Calvert really well.

Davey, as played by Charlie Lynn, was done well. I haven't seen Charlie in a lot of productions, mainly because he's not part of theater, but he was well-cast in his role.

You know, you think you're in the know, and then somebody you've never heard of gets the second lead in the musical. I have absolutely no idea who Jessica Toomay is, but she proved herself as a quality performer in this show as Katherine "Plumber", taking an admittedly stale character and giving her some life and emotion, especially in "Watch What Happens" and "Something to Believe In". (The character of Katherine Plumber was inspired by Annie Kelly, a newswoman loyal to the newsies strike. Joseph Pulitzer did have a daughter named Katherine, after his wife, but she died of pneumonia at the age of two.)

There were only five performers, however, who made it into serious consideration for Best Performance. Let's talk about them.

First up is Grant Kozisek, who played the sympathetic Crutchie really well, considering that narratively the character could have been replaced by a dog with minimal changes. Grant's performance is best in the opening scene and in "Letters from the Refuge" especially, and though I prefer some other Kozisek roles (Valentine still makes frequent visits to my nightmares). Crutchie is an unfortunate symptom of the show's inability to pick an emotional story for Jack Kelly to serve as his B-plot, but ultimately, Kozisek plays pitiful and sad really well. I think that last year and this year especially we've gotten a greater variety in Kozisek performances, and it's good to see how flexible a performer he can really be.

Next is last musical's Best Performance winner, Nolan Stewart. Stewart continues to shine in this show, and though I again prefered his performance in Mary Poppins, he was absolutely the man to go to for Les. Stewart delivers a plethora of comedic lines with such bravado that you start to respect him as much as the Newsies do by the end.

Now, though, it's time for the heavy-hitters. Coming out of the first performance I saw, these three were tied in my mind, though by the end of the second night I was able to pick my favorite.

But, before we get to that, I just realized I forgot something, and I'm too lazy to try to slot it into an earlier part of my review. Jordan Shah. As Teddy Roosevelt. It was such a fun moment in the show when he came on. It felt like a big celebrity cameo, and Jordan Shah was up to task. That was one of my favorite parts, especially when I first saw the musical. Okay, anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, right, the Three Big Contenders for Best Performance. You can tell they were good, because I capitalized "Three Big Contenders".

First up, Trevor Lewis as Jack Kelly, a character inspired by the real-life Kid Blink. (Blink and several other union leaders had ties to the New York mob, a detail entirely ignored by the musical.) He had the most demanding role in the musical, and he was up to the task. I've been saying for years that they need to put Lewis in more stuff (crazy he's not in theater), and good old Dollins listened. Actually he doesn't read my blog so I guess he just recognized talent. Whatever the case, Trevor's performance shines most in the first act, where we get to see him as the shrewdest newsie in the neighborhood, one who's looking out for his friends. I just wish he'd had a more dynamic character to play — personally, I think that he'd make a great Henry Higgins.

I'm still not sure it was a good move to deny Henry Monahan best performance as Joseph Pulitzer. His performance was supernaturally smooth and watchable, and Monahan was perhaps the most articulate performer. "The Bottom Line" is a fiendishly spectacular villain song, and Monahan nailed it, which casts the fact that he and I were among the only students in our class not in fifth grade choir with a shade of dramatic irony. Monahan was a fan-favorite from the show, and for good reason — I'd really like to see him in more villain roles.

Still, I'm going to trust my gut, and select Alyssa Heidemann as Medda Larkin for Best Performance. (I couldn't find any historical precedent for the character of Larkin, though she was probably inspired by several real-life performers and activists who frequented the theaters in the Bowery neighborhood.) Heidemann steals the show in this part, and it was a shock to believe that it was her as she lit up the stage from the first moment she stepped onto it. Her song, while having no real significance to the story, is a well-deserved solo for an excellent singer that really showed off her talent. You might even say that her performance was entertaining and educational.

And until next time, remember, there's gotta be some irony in a spotlight operator not being pictured in the program.

Richard Jackson's The Line Between Review

November 17, 2023

Because I try to walk in all circles, I happened to have gotten word of Blue Valley Senior Richard Jackson's work on a Star Wars fan film during my short time at Tiger TV. Jackson previously did the special effects for that TigerTV intro featuring lightsabers (I believe one of my stop motion animations appeared in that episode as well). And so I was enticed when I heard he was releasing a Star Wars fan film. Unfortunately I missed the premiere on Sunday, but I was able to watch it on YouTube, as you can now.

The Line Between tells the story of Argo, a Jedi apprentice who survived Order 66 hiding on Kenari from the Galactic Empire, most notably an imperial inquisitor known as the Twelfth Brother. If the words that I just typed are complete gibberish to you, then I will warn you now that The Line Between is probably not the film for you. While the film does give some exposition, this is a film for existing fans of Star Wars, or at least people acquainted with its basic lore.

As a film, The Line Between has a few of the hallmarks of a fan film — awkward dialogue, shots that last a little too long, the occasional unconvincing performance — but all of that is entirely excusable and expected in a fan film, or in fact any sort of indie film. No, in fact, The Line Between is notable for how few of these hallmarks it has — its editing aesthetic are remarkably professional, and its cinematography are remarkably good. Sure, the lighting may not be particularly dynamic, but there are moments in which it becomes more interesting. Plus, amateur films are often too obsessed with the lighting, often leading their films to feel dark and oppressive.

Let's talk special effects. The ship effects aren't anything to write home about, but I would argue they don't need to be; they get the job done and yeah, they do take you out of it a little, but who cares? While the film isn't necessarily comedic in nature, it never really presents itself as a life-changing drama, and so the occasional bad ship effects aren't going to destroy the tone. Besides, where the film lacks in the ship department, it more than makes up for it in what is arguably the film's main selling point: the lightsabers.

The lightsaber effects are, in a word, stellar. After learning about the painstaking nature of adding the effects in, it gives me a new appreciation for how much this aspect of the film shines. The force effects, likely inspired by how the force is depicted in various video game adaptations of Star Wars, are also very effective.

The costume design is another highlight, providing the film with a feeling of authenticity and rugged realism. One of the great innovations of the first Star Wars was its portrayal of science fiction costuming — the sleek, clean aesthetic of most space fiction media prior was replaced with more comfortable, practical clothing, while the classic aesthetic was still present in imperial characters, illustrating their inhuman nature. This film captures a lot of that rugged practicality combines with alien fashion that those early films did so well, and I really dug this aspect of the project in particular.

The tone of the film is also quite effective; the whole thing feels suitably small-scale and grounded, with the stakes being made clear: survival. The forest setting is both beautiful (I'm biased because I live in the area) and effectively grounding.

The story itself has a generic element to it; the Star Wars franchise is known for pulling a few new Jedi who survived Order 66 out of their hat every few years. (See this CBR article for a bunch of examples.) While this makes certain elements of the story feel a little generic, Jackson still manages to make the project feel fresh; as a character, Argo feels untrained in the ways of the Force, like he's basically winging it the whole time with no real guidance, something we haven't seen a lot of. Likewise, the story feels really personal, with no other characters tying it to a larger universe. This is, of course, a comparison to official Star Wars materials, not The Line Between's peers as Star Wars fan films, which I have consumed too little of to make an accurate comparison.

In many ways, Argo's quest feels doomed — this is just another Jedi being picked off in the early years of the Empire, and one with very little training or experience, no less. And the antagonist plays into this. The Twelfth Brother, portrayed by Dorian Kagay (who I don't know but apparently attends school in the district), is a really effective villain, one whose costume and menacing portrayal lead to a genuine highlight of the film.

Likewise, the other performance that really works in this film is Jackson's own as Argo. While he's not going to win any Oscars for it, Jackson does give his character depth and passion, and portrays his desperation to survive well.

I think that the best moment of the film comes about 18 minutes in, when he is finally able to activate the lightsaber he has constructed. The moment brings together so much of what works of this project, and I found it very engaging.

This film is good. If you are a Star Wars fan or even just somebody who wants to support an independent fan film made by a promising filmmaker at Blue Valley High School, give it a watch. It costs nothing and has the runtime of a sitcom two-parter. I will definitely be keeping an eye out for Jackson's filmmaking work in the future, and in the meantime, this film is a promising first film for a talented director.

Friday Night Live #1 Review

Saturday, November 4, 2023

Hi. I liked FNL. It was funny.

This particular FNL got some really good laughs from me. Not every sketch was a banger, but none were unwatchable, with one unusual exception. Real quick, though, before we dive into it, let's talk about some stuff that isn't in the sketch ranking.

First, the band. The highlight of the band was, invariably, Ethan Oppold, whose trumpet playing stood out among the band. Lincoln Dahl also had some good moments. Miles Gelman, ignoring a few slip-ups, played relatively well. And, given the circumstances, Andrew Sharber's relatively simple part was played quite well, if quietly. Ultimately, the quintet was a highlight, and I thank them for selecting my favorite song to play.

Additionally, the teacher monologues, while certainly not perfect, were probably the best out of these sorts of monologues I've seen. Mister Dillon, in particular, was delightful as a host, and the implication that he doesn't know Latin because nobody does. Maybe somebody should tell him that he just needs to use context.

Anyway, time to rank the sketches.

13. Spilled Tea by Emma Sykora

Sorry, but Spilled Tea was not the best of sketches; the basic idea of it is, in a word, confusing. Is the joke a misunderstanding of teenaged slang by adults? Because I think it is, but the sketch just isn't that funny about it. While I quite liked Anna Schumacher's performance in this sketch, I don't really think it has much to offer. Plus, we never learned the gossip properly. It just didn't feel satisfying as an idea.

12. Study Buddy by Michael Muller & Hannah Gold

This sketch is carried by the embodiment of chaos that is Danonn Mwangi and the Minecraft gag part way through it. I thought this sketch was supposed to be in the vain of last year's "(Mic) Check Please", but the presence of the waiter never made much difference. Overall, the premise was too convoluted and the dialogue was too stilted.

11. New Cheers by Ashley Brixey-Thatcher & Theo Baldwin

And here I thought they were proposing a sitcom reboot. New Cheers focuses upon cheers for other sports and activities. While I appreciate the dynamic poetry of the sketch, it lacks in outright laughs. This, I think, is one of my more controversial takes; many other members of the audience quite enjoyed the sketch, but it wasn't really for me. That said, I have to know where those costumes came from — were they loaned out by the BV cheer team, or what?

10. Rocky by Bennett Calvert

Rocky rests upon a slighly fumbled execution of a pretty weak premise: what if Rocky, the boxing hero of the 1980s, had to do an AP class? While the beginning and end of the sketch were nothing special, this one made me laugh in the middle; the highlight of the sketch is the parody of a classic Rocky training montage but with textbooks and Crash Course videos, which gave the sketch that relatable, personal touch that most great FNL sketches have. I enjoyed this part of the sketch quite a bit, even if the bookends of this one were weak.

9. Balloon Heads by Hee Liam

Balloon heads was kind of funny, because it's Balloon Heads, but I'm pretty sure the well of balloon head jokes is drying up at this point. What if balloons were racist against toy balloons? was a fun gag, but the rest of the sketch felt like it didn't have many new ideas. Aside from the usual Balloon Head shenanigans, you have three jokes: the long head idea and derived puns and awkwardness; the safety pin joke; and the mafia joke. It's just not quite enough for a sketch.

8. Movie Theme Brainstorming Session by Summer Hitz

This is kind of the opposite of New Cheers; I had a higher opinion of this than the people I watched this with. The premise was hard to fit to the medium, but the concept was crazy. From Holiday Music's obsession with Christmas to the Blues's out of nowhere obsession with crossdressing. I think that the big highlight of this sketch was Kylie's performance as Child Rhymes, which was delightfully creepy.

7. The Writer's Room by Kylie Shafer

Okay, Grant Kozisek Mickey Mouse was hilarious. Look, this sketch wasn't the most original thing in the world (Disney's a pretty frequent target for parody) but it was still very entertaining. This sketch also showed the age of the sketches' initial writings, but still, the commentary worked well enough. It was just a ton of fun, and even when the sketch dragged, Bennett Calvert's antics as Thor, God of Thunder, was just great. (Also, Thor, buddy, you don't need Disney. You're in the public domain, my friend. For anyone who wants to read one of my favorite interpretations of a more mythologically accurate Thor, I recommend Neil Gaimen's Norse Mythology.)

6. Car Line by Sienna Seifert

Car Line was another fun one. With three plotlines and a relatable premise, Car Line keeps your attention nicely. I think that this feels like a very genuine sketch; everyone's had experiences liek those in the Car Line, and the way people talk about Mr. Dillon and Taylor Swift is a really funny parody of the initial reaction to her relationship with Travis Kelce, especially in the area. This sketch felt like it was written for students, and it shows. It was funny.

5. Weeknight Update by Bennett Calvert and Grant Kozisek

Weeknight Update is really solid. While it lacked any special guests, which was disappointing, it did have some timely and surprisingly biting satire. Along with the prerequisite Molly McNally email jokes, this Weeknight Update was fast-paced enough to be a highlight of the night.

4. Bald and Beautiful by Hannah Gold

Okay, hear me out for a minute. "Bald and Beautiful" is really, really bad. The rhyme scene is all over the place, the singing (with the unexpected exception of Anna Schumacher) was unpleasant, the parody was tired, the lyrics were cringey, and the song offers no real satire of Yarnell or Hamilton. The only legitimate amount of enjoyment I got out of this was Mr. Dillon in a dress. The experience of watching this sketch was that of pure agony and unanswered prayers for the sweet release of death.

That said...

My father always said that good art provokes emotion. This emotion isn't always enjoyment. No, the pure cringeworthy torment of "Bald and Beautiful"'s true power is its ability to torture my soul. You can hurl every insult you want at this sketch, but what you can't call it is boring. This sketch's ability to inflict pain upon its audience might be a spectacular failure or it might be a work of brilliance, I honestly don't know. What I do know is that this sketch was, with the exception of my first choice pick, the most memorable sketch of the night, and thus I cannot allow myself to rank it lower by virtue of its sheer effectiveness in burning itself into my brain. Congratulations, Hannah. It's a terrible masterpiece.

3. Couples Therapy by Lily Porter

Okay, now for a sketch I actually enjoyed. For a Barbenheimer-themed show, this FNL was surprisingly light on Barbenheimer content; only this sketch and a brief Oppenheimer joke in the Weeknight Update. This sketch, however, was a great parody of the Barbie Movie, even if it played as a greatest hits of the film without much direct satire. Mr. Dillon's therapist speech was masterfully done, although there is a real satire to be had about the contradictions of masculinity and their parallels with the contradictions of femininity described in the original Barbie speech that was only touched on in the sketch. Still, all in all the "Couples Therapy" sketch really hit on a timely topic and was one of my favorites.

2. Beat Drop by Grant Kozisek

While some of these others were close, "Beat Drop" is leagues ahead of its prior competition, even while my number one pick is leagues ahead of it. While the joke with this one is repeated three times, the setup and premise for the jokes were never what made this funny; it was when the punchline hit that the sketch hit its stride, as it should. You never knew how the beat would drop, and the biggest laugh of the night goes to when the Fitness Gram Pacer Test, a feat that Grant Kozisek's sketches seem to have a knack for achieving. Speaking of which, Kozisek's really expanded his range of characters in this show to lengths never seen before, and it's really great to see.

1. Feet Pics by Myah Dobbins

After the show, Myah asked my thoughts, and I told her that I would tell her my thoughts about her sketch at the end of the article. Well, here we are, though I'm not sure if she caught the implication that I was going to rank hers highest. Though I'm more of a fan of Dobbins for her singing abilities, her acting skills are not to be ignored. A simple sketch with only four characters, this sketch lets Grant Kozisek chew the scenery in the best way possible. The sketch was already funny, but about halfway through, when the characters show their bare feet — It took four hours in surgery to cease my laughter. This sketch is surprisingly edgy for a FNL sketch, and was a great way to end the night.

Overall, a great outing for the 2023 - 2024 theater program that marked an excellent showcase for newer actors (particularly Danonn Mwangi, Anna Schumacher, and Kylie Shafer) while throwing a few of the reliable old guard in to hold the thing up. I'm very excited for the rest of the year, and I can't wait to see the next show. And until next time, Myah Dobbins and Grant Kozisek have great feet.

Fated Script Release

Tuesday, October 24, 2023

So Fated was fun, right? But most people who watched it have the same problem: they only got to see it once, and likely missed some of the best scenes. Unfortunately, I can't undo time, but I was able to pull some strings and get a copy of the show's script, which you can now find in the Bonus Content menu of this blog. Want to see a story you missed? Want to imagine all the scenes you missed? You can, for free, exclusively on my blog. Man, this feels good.

Fated Review

Tuesday, October 24, 2023

Special thanks to Dannon Mwangi for helping me with this review.

Happy birthday: Zombies! You know that when I suggested Frannie Minkman but zombies at the end of sophomore year, I didn't think you'd actually do it, right?

In all seriousness, I was really nervous going into Fated. I'd gotten the idea of an immersive theater experience and understood the principle, but had serious doubts it could work, especially for a horror show like this. Fortunately, Fated was just a ton of fun. For those who are unaware, Fated is a zombie apocalypse that takes place in an unnamed college and follows ten students — wait, Val just turned, make it nine — as they try to survive.

The concept behind the immersive theater experience was that you would have an opening scene in the PAC, then you would have two to four concurrent scenes in different locations that you could go to for three concurrent scenes, each following a different plotline. This was all helpfully explained before the show began by Yarnell, which was actually quite helpful in making sure the show went well. The result was a bit confusing for Dannon, though I thought it captured the desperation of the zombie apocalypse nicely.

As a collaborative writing project, Fated suffers a little bit from the issues you'd expect from something written by high schoolers with conflicting visions. Some of the characterization is inconsistent; at one moment, Dewey (Cy Conaway's character) is charging off into the night to face the demons that lurk there, and the next moment, he figures he'd better just give up and die. The dialogue, too, can be a little cringey, but the sincerity of the actors makes the show feel campy and sincere. Fun, even.

That's not to say the show wasn't scary— legitimate fear is a rare thing for a stage show to get right, and this and by far the scariest show that I've ever scene this school's theater program do. The atmosphere of the show makes it so that you feel like you're in the school with these characters, trying to survive along with them. Even though you know the zombies can't hurt you, you still know how radically their introduction shifts the dynamic of a scene, and you know that when a zombie appears, more often than not, somebody's about to die. The show's tension was a major factor that kept me on the edge of my (n this case even more metaphorical than usual) seat. Every shuffling of footsteps outside made me question whether I was seeing another audience member or a zombie, and that uncertainty drove up the drama.

Fated was a show that balanced humor and fear to create a really fun experience. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a horror comedy — certainly the comedic elements weren't as essential to the show as the horror — but I do think that moments of levity actually worked in the show's favor. Rather than try to be a gripping horror that falls flat when the audience laughs at the ridiculousness of the premise, a Trap other shows have fallen into, this show invites us to have fun with the campier elements by including a simple an time-tested premise — zombies. Even if you miss a scene of exposition during the show explaining what you're dealing with, you know what you're working with — zombies. You get the premise, and the details rarely matter.

This show also had the guts to kill off the characters. This isn't a "zombies can be cured" kind of show — this is a "zombies are dead" kind of show. The horror of the show comes from the consequences — characters die, and that is basically unavoidable.

But enough about that. Let's talk performances. I didn't get to see every moment of every character's performance — I followed Jack, Sadie, and Mason to the Fixed Forum, then caught up with Russ and Dewey arguing in a classroom, moved to the Nurse's office to watch Dewey and Mason catch up and give supplies to Abigail, followed Abigail to the Commons to see her briefly reunite with Reece, saw Jack simp a little to hard over Sadie in the gym foyer, returned to the office to see Dewey and the Dean try to come up with a plan, and finally went to the black box for the show's conclusion.

Of those performances I saw, I had a few favorites. Nick Hays chewed up the scenery quite a bit as Russ, and his character arc, although I didn't see the conclusion of it, worked very well. The final scene between Sara Schumacher's Sadie and Henry Monahan's Jack was honestly really cringey (partially because having to watch Henry Monahan flirt with Sara Schumacher is a violation of the 8th Amendment that makes me want to puke up blood and turn into a zombie) but still acted with sincerity. Schumacher was at the top of her game, and Monahan offered a really fun characterization. Too bad they both die. Cy Conaway took a relatively inconsistent character in Dewey and acted the heck out of him — he's the character I followed the most in the show, and I was actually quite moved by his scene with the Dean. Speaking of which, relative newcomer Jacob Banman was actually a surprise hit that displayed some promisingly compelling dramatic acting. I'm excited to see what he does in the future. As for Sammy Robertson, this is actually probably her best performance to date, outside of improv shows. Finally, all of the zombies were a really creepy combination of makeup and acting, and those playing the Living Dead definitely understood the assignment. I personally think that Rilee Carlson as Val was notable for this, as she was the first zombie I came into contact with.

But I had a secret weapon — Dannon Mwangi went to the scenes that I didn't, and we agreed we'd compare notes. She, too, very much enjoyed Conaway's performance but said that Henry and Sara's characters had good chemistry — she obviously watched a different scene than I did. She also commented on the zombies, particularly Andrew Monahan's role in a scene with Sara and Henry. Ultimately, she found many of the storytelling beats were very compelling.

I think that that's really the soul of Fated: how characters react to a zombie outbreak, and how it can bring out the worst and best in them. No character is irredeemable, and they all have their moments of nobility, coupled with moments of cowardice.

Overall, Fated was a great night at the theater, a campy and scary show that's a ton of fun all around.

For my best performance, I'll have to give it to Cy Conaway as Dewey. Although I considered Sammy Robertson for it, I think that ultimately the acclaim given to Conaway's performance was pretty universal, and the actor really shined in a more dramatic role. One of the most powerful scenes for me was his confrontation with the Dean, in which he finds his courage to be a hero. Additionally, I've heard good things about his final scene with Nick, though neither I nor Dannon actually saw that scene. Congratulations, Cy.

And until next time, remember, you don't sacrifice your life until after the first date.

Fifth Wall Free Trial Review

Thursday, September 28, 2023

I want you to picture a massive, adorable cat. He looks like Puss in Boots, with a beautiful hide of orange fur and an almost lion-like mane. Having only been fixed recently, he runs about with the remnant energy from his tomcat days. Soon, once he becomes accustomed, his apparent flaw comes into view: he pees everywhere.

This was Melvin. On Thursday, I found out why he was peeing everywhere: a bladder tumor, discovered when the vet examined his corpse. I had him six months. I loved that cat.

When I was dropped off at school this morning, I called my mother in the foyer and cried as I talked to her. The cat lived at my father's house, so my mother never knew him, but she had words of comfort to offer. And then, as I, loaded up with stuff, tried to get into the school, a stranger held the door for me. She was a sophomore, though her name escapes me. If you're reading this, thank you. I needed a bit of kindness that morning.

Fifth Wall that afternoon was not the first time I'd laughed that day, but it was billed as an attempt to make the audience laugh, so I hoped it could cheer me up.

Fifth Wall wasn't deeply healing. It did not comment profoundly on the nature of grief. but it did make me laugh, and it did brighten my day, and it did distract me some. I wouldn't have included this extended prologue to my review except to share the headspace I was in while watching.

The show, being the first of the year, stuck to tried-and-true Fifth Wall elements. Grant was once again Pan Center, Nick Hays was Late for Work, and the cast highlighted some of its new members in the opening Beastie Rap. Beastie Rap implied a minor curse word, eliminating the rapper in question (I forget who) but earning some chuckles. Pan Right Pan Left felt like the truest form of the game and saw the Monahans match wits onstage for the first time, to spectacular effect. Together they could make anything funny.

The dating game, one of my personal favorites, truly involved some spectacular improv, even if it was near-fatal for Owen Unrein. Cy Conaway's performance was the best of his comedy style.

As far as new cast members go, Andrew Monahan obviously fits in naturally with the cast. Lilie Mikuls didn't get a lot to do but did well with the material she had. Tylar Beck left a strong positive impression despite a lack of stage time. Tyler Thalblum wasn't used very much in the show, but I am excited to see more of him.

I think that a big standout was Danonn Mwangi. I've known Danonn since her Freshman year, having been band friends with her older brother, who should have won Prom King. Though her small roles in choir shows and the musical last year showed promise, this show really showed off her acting chops. In real life, she seems kind, outgoing but soft-spoken. (Perhaps my characterization is flawed to those who know her better.) Onstage, though, she comes alive, taking on the persona of the hour with ease and generally being way funnier than I expected a first-time Fifth Waller to be, especially a sophomore.

It was a strong start for the year, one that showcased new improvers while playing to the strengths of the old ones. Thank you for making me laugh. And Tyler, thanks for the ticket.

And until next time, just imagine the sensual squeak of the black marker as it races across the paper, creating thick, black lines. The distinctive smells wafts into your nose as the marker give you the clean, dark marks you had always dreamed of. No standard market could give you this; no pencil is dark enough, know men is this reliable or artistic. This is a Sharpie.