ACT Exercises (Hayes, 2019)

Dr. Hayes shared many exercises for each pivot, and a lot of people have their unique way of interacting with ACT. Here are our personal favorites that we use the most and want to share. Please refer back to Dr. Hayes' books for more exercises.

Defusion

The Yearning for Coherence & Understanding When life is not making sense to us, a common reaction is to want to talk to someone to gain some understanding. What if we are that person for ourselves?

Honoring and Appreciating our Minds

Our minds come up with thousands of thoughts throughout each day, and some thoughts stick to us harder, often the negative ones. When we try to suppress or repress these negative thoughts, we run into the risk of strengthening them, like in rumination. ACT is about changing the way we interact with our thoughts and feelings. With ACT, we no longer have to run away, we will have the psychological flexibility to face our own thoughts and feelings head-on.

What to try:

To start honoring your mind, we will start by naming your mind.
- - I named mine Juliet, because a lot of times I feel like I cannot be at peace with my mind, as if we are star-crossed lovers.
For the sake of this example, we are saying you named your mind Friend, because I want you to be friends with your mind.
Now we can start to appreciate Friend.
When Friend comes up with a thought, we will not try to dismiss the thought or just move on to the next thing.
We will appreciate Friend: "Thank you for that thought Friend, really, I appreciate your concern."
Be as sincere as you can: "I understand that you are trying to help, so I thank you for that. Anything else you have to say?"

State not Trait - Labeling

As we defuse ourselves from our thoughts, we realize more clearly that thoughts and feelings are states, not traits. Meaning, thoughts are passing thoughts and feelings are passing feelings. To help these thoughts pass, we can label them and put them into context.

Conceptualized Self

The Yearning for BelongingWhen society has taught us that certain versions of us are more well-accepted, we put on these masks to fit in. What if these masks are confusing us? What if we let go of these masks?

I Am / I Am Not

Similar to counseling, after listening and affirming, we may engage in carefrontation. After honoring and appreciating our minds, we may question whether those thoughts are valid or not. Challenging our personal qualities can help us take off those masks we feel comfortable living behind.

What to try:

Complete the sentence "I am __________________" three times.
For the first two times, choose a positive psychological attribute - your most prized personal qualities.
For the last one, do the exact opposite, a personal attribute you fear or think you have that you dislike.
Then ask: "Is this true all the time? Everywhere? With everyone?"
As we realize how we hold on to this conceptualized self that may not be true all the time, we can start to challenge it.
Let's say we prize ourselves for being funny.
"I am funny, or not."
"I am funny, I am Not funny."
"I feel that I am funny when _________________."
When we let go of the mask of "I am funny," we may be able to act more genuinely.
This works with our passing thoughts as well, especially if we combine it with defusion.
- - "I am inadequate, or not."
  - "I am inadequate, I am Not inadequate."
  - "I feel inadequate when _________________."

Acceptance

The Yearning to Feel and ExperienceThe word accept comes from Latin and means, "to receive; as if to receive a gift." What if we are to accept our feelings and experiences, regardless of them being positive or negative?

Say "Yes" and be "Yes"

We change the way we approach something. We can change the way we perceive it.

What to try:

Start by assuming a "no" posture, where you make your body small and tensed, then look around and say "no" to everything you see.
"No, that's not good." Maybe even shaking your head.
"Ew, what?" Maybe even furrowing your brow.
"Oh no, that needs to be changed."
Then assume a "Yes" posture, where you expand your body and relax your muscles. Then look around and say "yes" to everything you see.
"Yes, that looks good."
"Wow, that's beautiful."
"Oh yeah."
Notice how the two experiences differ.
Next time you notice yourself in a "no" approach or posture, switch it up to a "Yes" approach and mindset.

Presence

The Yearning for OrientationWe ruminate the past and worry about the future because we have this deep desire to know where we currently are in our lives. This hinders us from living in the here and now. What if we can defuse the regrets and anxiety, as we did with our previous pivots? What if we live mindfully in the present?

Simple Meditation or Guided Meditation

Start simple. The slow and steady tortoise won the race. Below is a guided meditation that I compiled from various meditation guides I enjoyed.

What to try:

Get into a comfortable position, whatever is relaxing for you
In the next few minutes, you are going to allow yourself to take a break, to let go
You may choose to close your eyes, or relax into a soft gaze
Take a slow, deep breath in. Then let it out whenever you are ready
As you breathe in slowly, know that everything rises, then passes
As you breathe in slowly, you feel your lungs expanding
As you breathe out, you feel your body softening
You feel your eyelids becoming heavier, as if your body is ready to drift into sleep
Notice your body, perhaps you feel some tightness
As you breathe out, let that tightness soften. Wherever it is, let the tension go
As you breathe out, let your shoulder soften
As you breathe out, let your fingers soften
As you continue to slowly breathe in and out, you will fall into your natural rhythm
You may notice your mind drifting off, and that is natural, gently bring your attention back
Feel your breathing, feel your breathing at a point of focus, could be your nostril, abdomen, or whatever you choose
Feel the air entering your body, filling your whole body, from the top of your head, to the bottom of your toes
This peaceful air, penetrating every cell in your body
As your body continues to relax, it feels heavier
You feel your body sinking more into whatever that is offering you support
Let there be stillness, appreciate this stillness
You chose this position to relax in because it’s comfortable for you, enjoy this comfort
Now start thinking about something that you are grateful for
Something that may spark joy in you
Slowly breathe this joy in, and hold it, let this joy spread throughout your body
Then share this joy with the world as you slowly breath out *satisfying sigh*

Values

The Yearning for MeaningValues are not goals that we simply achieve and be done with. Values are directions we want to take in life. Values can give us intrinsic motivation. What if we listen to our values and take actions that will feel meaningful to us?

Valued Living Questionnaire & Values Writing

We may know our values, but we often do not intentionally bring them into our awareness. We want to write about our values because we want to actively engage in thinking about them. After all, they are important to us. So let's do some self-reflection.

What to try:

Rate the following values on a scale of 1-10, 1 meaning not at all important to you, and 10 meaning very important:

Family (other than marriage or parenting)
Marriage/couples/intimate relations
Parenting
Friends/social life
Work
Education/training
Recreation/fun
Spirituality
Citizenship/community life
Physical self-care (diet, exercise, sleep)
Environmental Issues
Art, creative expression, aesthetics

Now choose a value you care about deeply, then write about it for 10 minutes. Asking questions like:
- - What do I care about this area?
  - What do I want to do in this area that reflects that caring?
  - When in my life has this value been important?
  - What have I seen in my life when others pursue this value, or not?
  - What might I do to manifest this value more in my life?
  - When have I violated this value and has that been costly?

Committed ACTs

The Yearning for Competence/ActionWe have been hindered by psychological inflexibility enough, by combining all 6 pivots together, we can liberate our minds.What if we commit to psychological flexibility? What if we commit to change? What if we commit to regularly taking meaningful actions and make ACT a habit, a lifestyle, a way of being?

Make Small Adjustments - Try SMART Goals

Again, the slow and steady tortoise won the race.

What to try:

Create a SMART goal for a small adjustment
Specific - Measurable - Achievable - Relevant - Time-framed

Practice "Just Because I Choose to"

When we commit to values, our minds sometimes e-value-ate those choices in ways that miss their deeper point. Show yourself that you can commit when you want to commit, even if there is not a particular reason to do so.

What to try:

Get playful and choose a small adjustment to commit to. For example:
- - Go a week without a preferred food, just because you choose to
  - For a month go to bed an hour earlier than usual and get up an hour earlier, just because you choose to
  - Deliberately embarrass yourself by wearing something slightly off each week, just because you choose to

What to try:

For example, Friend is saying, "I am adequate."
We will label this thought:
- - "I am having the thought that I am adequate."
  - "I am having the thought that I am being adequate right now."
  - "I am having the thought that I am being adequate right now because I am letting myself be distracted instead of finishing this assignment."
Perhaps it is not a thought, it can be:
- - "I am having the feeling that I am sad."
  - "I am having the memory of..."
  - "I am feeling the bodily sensation of..."
  - "I am noticing the tendency to..."

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