This is an adaptation of the Structured Skills Practice I learned from Yvette Erasmus
Here is an imperfect little video intro about the 3-Minute Practice
In this mini-practice we refer to the person sharing as the Storyteller.
The Storyteller asks for 3 different listeners.
We most often listen for NVC Style Observations, Feelings & Needs and
You might request a different type of listening.
Once the listeners know their roles, the Storyteller shares for 3 minutes without interruptions.
Storyteller gets to practice making requests before sharing and during the three reflections.
The Observer reflects the story back describing what they heard and saw. This is the content of the story and perhaps how the story was told. The Observer expects the Storyteller to interrupt them at any time to correct something or to add new information.
The Feelings Offeror asks about what feelings or sensations the Storyteller
may have been experiencing at the time of story or
what is arising in the present moment.
The Needs offeror asks about Needs the Storyteller
might be meeting or might be longing for.
We ask and checking in with the Storyteller. We bring our presence and our care.
The expectation is that many of the feelings and needs offered won't fit!
This is a time for us to freely explore, try on and get familiar will ALL the feelings and needs.
Hearing a feeling or need that doesn't resonate can REALLY help the Storyteller
connect with themselves!! This has been quite lovely to witness and to experience.
Just taking this time to sit with someone, reflect their story back and
ask about their feelings and needs with care can be surprisingly nourishing.
Those of us not actively listening are witnesses choosing what we want to silently practice.
Everyone is always welcome to participate in the chat at any time
We Focus on Each Story For About 20 Minutes
Storyteller requests 3 volunteers to try out listening to their story in a particular way.
Storyteller shares their celebration, struggle, insight, present moment experience, idea, micro-moment etc. Storyteller has 3 minutes without interruptions.
Listener #1 usually reflects back the story, bringing care and presence for 3 minutes.
Listener #2 usually offers Feelings, bringing care and presence for 3 minutes
Listener #3 usually offers Needs, bringing care & presence for 3 minutes.
The group shares additional observations, feelings & needs guesses for 3 minutes.
Storyteller is asked, "How is your body right now?" and maybe "If you stay with those sensations a bit longer, what happens?" and "What was it like for you to share here today and to be listened to in this way?"
If time allows, we ask the 3 listeners, "What was it like for you to listen?"
*A little note about the timer. The 3-minute limit may sound restrictive, but we’ve we found limiting the time seems to create more space and helps us stay focused and present! So very much can happen in just 3 minutes!!! Also, your stories deserve LOTS of time and attention. This is just 1 mini-practice. Sometimes folks offer to listen more in a breakout room. Many people have shared their phone numbers in Yvette's Community Forum and stated they are open to folks reaching out. Texting “Do you have 8 minutes?” is a great way to try out asking for a brief time to be listened to. And remember, if they don’t have time, someone else might!
We gather to connect, practice, play and “do it badly!”
Hope you join us on this Compassionate Communication Adventure!