Master Your Dragon

Introduction & Definition of Emotional competence

This short introduction covers the three levels of emotional competence:

1. Knowledge Level: Understanding how emotions influence behaviour.

2. Skill Level: Becoming aware of and recognizing strong emotions, particularly negative ones like grief, panic, and rage.

3. Advanced Level: Using this knowledge and awareness to manage one's behaviour during strong emotions and respond appropriately to others.

Module 1: Neurophysiology of Emotion & Behaviour

In Module One, we explore the neurophysiology of emotion and behavior using the analogy of a dragon (representing the survival brain) and a dragon master (the executive brain). The survival brain, which includes the limbic, mammalian, and reptilian brains, is focused on survival, driving behaviors like avoiding pain, securing resources, finding a tribe, acquiring power and connecting with an intimate partner. On the other hand, the executive brain, particularly the prefrontal cortex, is responsible for higher-level functions like planning, empathy, reflection, and self-control. Our behavior shifts between these two modes throughout the day, influenced by adrenaline levels. When the survival brain (dragon) is in charge, our actions are fast, automatic, and often driven by fear or anxiety. In contrast, when the executive brain (dragon master) leads, we are more conscious, rational, and capable of empathy and long-term planning. Understanding and managing these two modes can help us align our behaviour with our higher values and ideals. 

Module 2a: The Dragon and its Drives: Pride and Prejudice

The session discusses two core survival drives: the need to belong to a tribe and the desire for power.

1. Tribal Belonging:

• Humans have an innate drive to belong to a "tribe," which includes groups like family, friends, or a nation. This drive is rooted in an evolutionary need for safety in numbers.

• This drive can lead to behaviours like seeking out similar people in new environments, but it also fosters prejudice and exclusivity.

• The session contrasts tribes (exclusive groups based on similarities) with inclusive communities (built on shared visions and ideas).

2. Drive for Power:

• Power is closely linked to safety and access to resources within a tribe. More power reduces the risk of being excluded.

• Various forms of power (political, financial, social) affect societal dynamics, often leading to oppression and marginalisation.

• The session discusses how societal structures have historically been shaped by those in power, leading to inequality and exclusion.

Module 2b: The Dragaon and its Drives: Intimacy and Sex

We are still focusing on drives, and in this tutorial, we look at the biological drive to connect to a partner / person/s. These biological impulses are linked to specific hormones, and there are different types of physical attraction depending on whether you are predominantly testosterone or predominantly oxytocin-wired. 

Module 3a: The Dragon under Threat: Mechanisms that manage stress but sabotage our lives.

This session discusses how our emotional reactions (particularly FEAR, RAGE, and GRIEF) translate into specific behaviours that aim to reduce our stress and make us feel in control. These behaviours are useful when under physical threat, but they usually worsen a situation in complex scenarios (such as relationships). 

We look at the following behaviours:

FIGHT mechanisms – criticising, over-analysing and manipulating

FREEZE mechanisms – pleasing, perfectionism and worrying

FLIGHT mechanisms – avoiding, self-pitying and distracting. 

Module 4a: The Unhappy Dragon: Exploring Distressing Emotions

In Module 4a, we explore three primal (substrate) distressing emotions that trigger biological impulses to act. GRIEF/PANIC is an experience of extreme emotional pain, with an impulse to cry out. FEAR is experienced as an intense impulse to move away from a threat, and RAGE is the biological impulse to destroy an obstacle in our way. 

These emotions are part of our survival mechanism and are triggered by internal and external factors. They are sub-conscious solid imperatives to act; if we are not mindful of them, they can directly contribute to potentially damaging behaviours to ourselves and others.

Module 4b: The Happy Dragon: Exploring Pleasant Emotions 

We can act as integrated and authentic human beings when not under stress. In this mode, we access specific primal (substrate) pleasant emotions contributing to happiness and contentment. 

CARE is the experience of attachment and/or love to another. PLAY is the joy of doing an activity for its own sake, and SEEK is an experience of interested curiosity about the world around us. The more time we have to access these positive affective states, the happier we are as human beings. 

Module 4c: Emotional regulation: How to train your dragon

We look at the 3 levels of emotional regulation: Emotional Insight, Emotional Awareness and Emotional competence and your master brain’s superpower when dealing with dragons.