Remembering the Past

I can feel the warm breeze through my hair and the cool grass under my feet. This place is beautifully strange, but somehow familiar. I look ahead to see the glowing sphere. What is that thing? Is he really God? Just like this place he seems familiar, like we’ve met before.

God stops. “Still a little weary of me?” he chuckles. “Maybe this will help.”

Right in front of me the sphere begins to grow and change shape. I can make out what look like arms, then legs, and finally a head. He suddenly looks human; exactly what I pictured God would look like.

“This is not my original form, but it might make you a little more comfortable for the time being.” God smiles at me. His voice is powerful but calming at the same time. “Now son, follow me to the tree."

The large oak tree looms above us, its branches stretch high into the sky. We continue our way towards it until we reach the base of the trunk.

“Do you see this empty part of the trunk?” God gestures towards the trunk. “One with no images on it?”

I nod.

“Go ahead and place your hand on it. Once you do that, things will begin to make sense.” God smiles again.

I’m standing in front of the enormous trunk and slowly reach my hand forward. This was no ordinary tree. The closer I get to it, the more I can hear it speak to me. It is calling my name. I gulp.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. “Do not be afraid, little one,” God reassured me lovingly. “Everything will be okay.”

I close my eyes and let out a deep breath. Why am I so afraid? It’s just a tree, dammit! Don’t be such a wimp! With my eyes still closed tightly, I feel the bark against my fingers. Nothing happens. Confused, I open my eyes again only to see nothing. It is pitch black. Am I in the void again?

Suddenly I find myself on a street. There is fire everywhere. It was apocalyptic. The silence of the void was replaced by screams of people and explosions. I look up and see military jets flying overhead. I turn around frantically and look down the road. In the distance I see a large mushroom cloud.

“Wait…” I begin to realize where I am.

I look to my left and I see my own house! This was my own neighborhood! It is on fire and the roof had collapsed. I hear a scream inside.

“Mom!” I gasp. “Is that you?” I run towards our house, but I can't reach the front door. I hear another jet and look up. And then I see it. The jet dropped a bomb and it’s falling right at me.

“Mom!” I screamed. The last thing I see is the bomb hitting the ground in front of me.

I wake up in my own bed in a sweat. I scream, realizing what I just saw.

“Honey? Are you okay?” Mom runs into my room, Dad right behind her.

“I- our house was on fire! There was an explosion, and you were trapped!” I stammer.

“It was just a bad dream, Sport,” Dad reassures me. “Mom and I are okay! Now get some rest. Remember, we’re going to the zoo tomorrow for your 10^th birthday! You’ll need the energy!”

I sit back, confused. 10^th birthday? But I’m in college!

“We love you.” Mom kisses me on my forehead. “Goodnight, we’ll see you in the morning.” They tuck me in and close the door on their way out.

Suddenly I am overwhelmed with fatigue, but my mind races. I’m 10 again? How is Dad here? He died 8 years ago in the war. I began to cry but the fatigue finally overtakes me, and I fall asleep.

I dream I am a soldier in the American Civil War. After that, a knight grabbing drinks with my buddies in a pub. Now, I am in ancient Greece. It feels like I’m living thousands of lives before I finally wake up, still standing at the base of the great oak tree. My hand is now gripping the trunk.

“What… what was that?” I whisper. That felt too real to be a dream. All of that pain and suffering, the laughs, and the love. It was all too real.

There is a loud rumble in the tree, and I look up. A large branch shoots out from the trunk. It grows, spiraling as it climbs higher and higher. Once it reaches the other branches, it stops. I look back at my hand and gasp. There is now a human figure carved into the tree where there used to be nothing.

“Congratulations,” God says, “humanity is now a part of the Tree of Life. You are one step closer to becoming a god.”

I stare blankly. “I still don’t understand.”

God stares back at me, a perplexed look on his face. Suddenly his eyes light up and he begins to laugh. “Oops! Silly me, I forgot one more thing.” His smile disappears and he is serious once more. He raises his arm, palm facing me. “I want you to focus on only yourself. Search deep into your soul and you will understand. Close your eyes.”

I do as he says and close my eyes. Why am I here? What is my purpose? I clench my fists as I desperately look for the answer inside myself. Suddenly I remember. I was here since the beginning. I created the universe and everything in it. I remember meticulously creating the laws of nature just right. I put together the ingredients for life to form, and those ingredients created humanity. Humanity was my project, and I failed. Just like I failed 86 times before. They were too power-hungry and selfish. After living alongside them I know that now. That is why they were unable to survive. My purpose is to create the perfect lifeforms; ones that are only driven by good. I cannot give up. My eyes open wide.

“I really am a god.”