Disappointment with God

by Philip Yancey

This is a book with a provocative title indeed.How can we even dare to think about

being disappointed with our creator? Yancey explores our true feelings, and writes

frankly about times and instances where we ask questions in our minds but dare not

speak about it to our fellow believers for fear of being judged as having no or little faith.

So many of us bury our doubts and trudge along using our holy jargon and putting on a

front that all is well. But in order for us to have a genuine faith, we need to confront all

our issues, to struggle through instead of sweeping it under the carpet.

Disappointment occurs when the actual experience of something falls short of

what we anticipate.

We are often in denial of our true feelings. We hear sermons and testimonies about

God’s providence and God’s healing of other people, but our own prayers may go

unanswered, and we wonder if we are doing anything wrong, or whether we do not

have enough faith. But we dare not tell anyone because how can we be disappointed

with God?

The reason why this happens is not that God is unfaithful, but that we have

expectations of God that He never promised.

Many believers go through periods of time when God seems far away, God seems

silent, and our prayers are not answered, at least not in the way that we had hoped

for. In times like these, we often question our faith.

True atheists do not feel disappointed with God, because they expect nothing and receive

nothing. It is a believer who can get disappointed with God because they commit their lives to

God and they expect something in return.

The problem may sometimes go back as far as our conversion experience. Perhaps we came to

faith in a healing rally as we saw testimonies of supernatural healing, as evidence of God’s

power and presence. Then we expect that God must heal everyone who prays for it, and if

that does not happen the way we expect we start to question the authenticity of our faith.

It does not help when people who have genuine questions are brushed aside by their mentors

and to exercise their faith to dispel their doubts instead of dealing with it.

When Jesus came in person, some still doubted.

Is God unfair? Why doesn’t He reward the good people and punish the wicked ? In the Old

Testament times, God’s favour was promised in return for obedience and punishments for

disobedience. But man proved to be sinful in nature and could not keep to their end of the

covenant.

So in the New Testament, we live in a period of grace, but 2 Corinthians 5:10 says that we must

all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us

for things done while in the body, whether good or bad.

Is God silent? Is God hidden? We often think that if God appeared in person and spoke in an

audible voice to me, I would believe 100%. But even when the Israelites in the desert saw

evidence of God in the cloud and the manna, they still complained.

It is helpful to read Genesis from God’s point of view. He is the Creator, the Source of life, and

He saw His creation and it was good. And then He created man in His own image and put him

in the garden of Eden with specific instructions. God gives free will to man because that is the

only way for man to demonstrate love and obedience towards God. Now the human decides to

disobey God outrightly, and then make excuses and lie about it. How betrayed and

disappointed God must have felt. But instead of wiping out the sinful man, and making

another creation, God put into motion a plan of salvation which would cost His Son his life, to

redeem this sinful race. That is the extent of God’s love for us.

Abraham had a personal relationship with God. He continued to believe in God’s promises

even when logic pointed otherwise. He was 100 years old with no son yet God said he would

be the Father of many. In God’s time, it all came to pass.

In the story of Joseph, despite all the hardship he had to endure, he could say to his brothers

“You intended to harm me but God intended it for good”. Sometimes we need to be patient to

wait for God to unravel His plan for us.

From Joseph to Moses a period of 400 years passed where God appeared to be silent. How

disappointing it must have been for the Israelites living as slaves in Egypt.

King David broke many laws but still the bible describes him as loving God with all his heart.

When it came to Solomon, he started well, asking God for wisdom, but his heart was led astray

by his many foreign wives. The covenant nation of God became a political power, with secular

success but religious decline. Isn’t that what happens in our lives as well, as we seek secular

success at the expense of our spiritual walk with God?

The story of Elijah evokes awe. He called fire from heaven and defeated the prophets of Baal.

But what happened afterward? There was no reform or revival in the nation. And Elijah himself

had to flee from Jezebel. Even after miraculous healing, some people can grow cold and

lose their faith and fervour for God.

When you read the prophets, you find that many of them also expressed frustration at God’s

lack of intervention. The wicked prosper, the evil powers conquer and rule, and God seems to

be turning a blind eye. And then the unthinkable happened. Babylon conquered Jerusalem, and

the pagans looted the Temple and the Most Holy Place- and yet God did not strike them dead!

God expressed through the prophets that He was disgusted with God’s people- they indulged in

dishonest gain, shedding of innocent blood, oppression, and extortion. And so God withdrew His

favour, and “gave them over to their sins”. God’s slowness to act was not out of weakness,

but out of mercy. God takes no pleasure even in the death of the wicked but desires them to

repent. (Ezekiel 18:23)

God used Hosea to demonstrate His love for His people. Hosea had to marry Gomer, a person

of poor reputation who was repeatedly unfaithful, and Hosea was asked to forgive and accept

her again and again. This is what the unfaithful people of God did to God and yet He forgave

them repeatedly out of His grace and mercy. It is God who has been betrayed and spurned,

not the other way around.

The prophets foretold a time when all will be set right. But after Malachi, God fell silent again,

and for 400 years history continued, with empires coming and going, and Israel being

subjugated by nation after nation.

Finally the climax of creation’s history happened when God came in the form of His Son, Jesus,

to be born a human. The incarnate became a mortal, to show Himself to us. How can we still

say “Reveal yourself God” when He has come in person to visit us and yet we did not recognise

Him?

The people had expected a powerful person, a king who would rally the Israelites to overthrow

the Romans. They did not expect a carpenter from Nazareth to be the Messiah.

The Pharisees and Sadducees repeatedly asked Jesus to demonstrate His divinity by doing a

miraculous sign (Matt 12:38, Matt 16:1, Mark 8:11, Luke 11:29, John 2;18) bit Jesus replied that

only the sign of Jonah will be given (meaning He would resurrect from the dead in 3 days).

Jesus performed many miracles, but He did not want to draw attention to the miracles

themselves, rather He often told the people not to tell others about what had happened.

The miracles were in response to a genuine need, instead of a demonstration of His power.

The gospels demonstrate God’s restraint. He could at any time have stopped the torture and

crucifixion of Jesus, and rescued Him. Jesus, the Son of God could have stepped off the

cross at any time but it was His love for us that kept Him on the cross. God allowed events

to continue- in order that the eternal plan of salvation could be executed.

The Trinity revealed Himself as God the Father in the Old Testament, and Jesus the Son in

the gospel period, and finally God as the Holy Spirit comes to indwell His people in the

rest of the New Testament.

God underwent great humiliations in His efforts to rescue the human race. First was the

Incarnation. God took on the form and confines of a human body. Then secondly He suffered

death on the cross. And thirdly He entrusts His reputation to the church. He fills the

believers with the Holy Spirit to lead them and guide them, but He does not compel them to

obey out of compulsion.

Yet the Holy Spirit may be God’s most intimate way of speaking to us, by residing within us and

guiding us when we do not know how to pray, to intercede with grains that words cannot

express, to be our Counsellor, Comforter, Helper. All these descriptions given to us implies

that our life as a Christian is expected to be faced with difficulties and disappointments,

as God deems these experiences as necessary in our preparation for eternity.

How does one deal with the suffering and death of a loved one whom you have been praying

fervently for God to heal but He doesn’t? Is God unable to heal our loved one? Since we believe

in an all powerful God it would reason that He can. But why does He not heal when He can? Is it

because He does not care or love me enough? Did I not pray fervently enough? Is it punishment

for our sins?

The key question is “How can a good God allow suffering?”

Job offers insights to this issue. We often focus on Job’s suffering but if we read the whole book,

we are drawn to the reality that God is the central figure. There are happenings in the spiritual

realm that we are not aware of. Heavenly beings are watching our responses and cheering

us on whenever our faith prevails. Job brings up a very pertinent point. Do we praise God

only when we receive blessings? Can we still worship God when calamities strike close to

home?

The key question is “Do we love God for who He is, or do we love God for what He can do

for us/give us?”

God does not give answers to Job but asks a series of questions that puts us humans in our

place. We as created beings will never be able to fathom the infinite God.

God seems unfair from the perspective of a person trapped in time. But God is outside the

confines of time and space, and we rest on the assurance that judgement will happen at the

end of time and all will be revealed to us then.

Not until history has run its course will we fully understand how “all things work for the good

of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Note that the verse does not say “Only good things will happen to those who love God”.

One problem people who are experiencing doubts during difficult times face is that when they

share it with other church members, the answer that usually pops up is “You must have faith”.

But what one person means by faith may not be what the bible refers to as having faith.

Let us begin by saying what Faith is not. Faith is not wishful thinking. Faith is not hoping

something will turn out the way we want it without basing it on scripture. Prayers are not all

answered magically and instantaneously. This is because God wants us to learn the

discipline of perseverance and trust. (James 1:2-3).

Faith is being able to believe in God’s goodness and love even when facing trouble,

hardship, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger and the sword (Romans 8:35-39).

We humans tend to differentiate between natural and supernatural phenomena. But from God’s

perspective, everything is spiritual, and there is no clear distinction between natural and

supernatural.

Even a person of faith faces times when God seems to be far away, and even silent (the dark

night of the soul). After persevering, the believer emerges with a more mature type of faith, one

which is not dependent on prevailing circumstances or feelings but a deep trust in the

Lord. Job teaches us to be open and honest with God. Don’t put up a facade and pretend all

is well when you are facing difficulties, trials and doubts. Struggle and wrestle through your

issues instead of closing an eye and sweeping it under the carpet. Be like Jacob who struggled

with God.

When God finally answers Job, He asks a series of questions about the visible world, His

creation, for which Job has no answers. The conclusion is that if we cannot even fully

comprehend the visible world, how can we even begin to understand the spiritual

invisible world except what is revealed to us.

The onus is not on God who must justify His actions or demonstrate His existence. He is the “I

Am” and we are the created beings. 2 Corinthians 4:18 reminds us to Fix our eyes not on what

is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is

eternal.

The truth of the matter is that this world is a passing phase. We will all face death. Some may

reach old age and succumb to illnesses. Some may suddenly face a lethal accident. Our loved

ones will all eventually fall ill, and that is true of ourselves too, no matter how painful it is to

realise this fact. But the good news is that our physical death will not be the end of the story. We

have a spirit who will meet with God and face judgement.

For those of us who have put our trust in Jesus, we do not fear death, for we know that by the

merits of our Saviour, we have forgiveness of our sins, and we shall inherit eternal life.

1 Corinthians 15:19-20 has this to say. “If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of

all people most to be pitied. But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the first

fruits of those who have fallen asleep”.

We look to a new heaven and a new earth, where God will live with men, with no more death

or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away (Revelation 21:1-4)

Unfortunately two people can have similar experiences in life, read similar books, and yet come

to different conclusions about God. Why is that so? God gives us free will, and we choose to

exercise faith to believe in Him or reject Him. The Holy Spirit waits patiently to open our

spiritual eyes but only if we allow Him to.

Each of us is faced with a choice. Do we wish to live our lives according to the visible world

which has no second part after we die, or do we wish to live our lives believing that this

life is a prelude to the eternal one?