Who is he?

Who is he and why is he happy? His wide smile and light dimples make him seem like he enjoys all aspects of life and is an overall happy guy. But is this really him?

This is me, Carlos Contreras. This photo was taken at my little brother's eighth grade graduation in May of 2019. I consider this photo to be a selfie of mine because (although it is not taken in a tradition selfie style) it is an image that I would approve for a large audience such as social media or this assignment. I am confident in my looks and give off the interpretation that I want any viewer to have of me. What is it you may ask?

I want others to see me as someone who is laid back and rather relaxed. Someone who looks relatable and blends in with the crowd. I want to be seen like this because I believe that it will increase the chances of someone coming up to me in person or even something simple as giving me a follow on social media. This increases the amount of friends I have overall and I feel like it would indirectly make a statement for me saying that I am a very likable person. So in a sense, I want to picture myself like this to make myself well known to others and get new friends through the friends that I already have (referred to as mutual friends).

Taking a step back, one can compare a selfie to an advertisement. An advertisement is essentially a promotion of something that you wish to put out or make known to the public. In my specific case, I am putting my appearance out for others to see and decide whether or not to be acquainted with me based on a little image of myself on their screens. This can be connected to Susan Sontag's "In Plato's Cave", a story in which Sontag wrote explaining all aspects and symbols that lie within the existence of a camera and the photographs that it takes. In the text, Sontag writes "Photographed images do not seem to be statements about the world so much as pieces of it, miniatures of reality that anyone can make or acquire" (paragraph 4). This statement by Sontag ties back to my purpose of submitting a selfie to the internet for others to see because I am creating my own version of a reality in which I broadcast to those around me.

Once again, we ask the question: Who is he? Why does he seem so neutral, neither happy or upset? Is this really him?

The answer is yes, this is the real me. The real Carlos Contreras. The real me is very undecided in terms of my natural feeling and doesn't have much to say or do. My face is normally expressionless and shows little to no emotion. This is the real me. I consider this to be a self portrait of mine because it truly resembles the true person that I am. The picture of me that I do not take a picture of if you will. I find myself to be more vulnerable and sensitive when my true "unmasked" self is photographed because I feel that I have become so accustomed to putting on my "mask" for pictures and videos that I sense a false version of myself being put out there. Sontag covered this exact idea in her story "In Plato's Cave" where she explained the importance of consensual photography. For instance, Sontag said "To photograph people is to violate them, by seeing them as they never see themselves, by having knowledge of them they can never have; it turns people into objects that can be symbolically possessed" (Paragraph 14). I personally agree with Sontag's statement because it is true that one feels uncomfortable knowing that there is an image of themselves floating somewhere on someone's phone that holds information; information that they rather not share. Such as the case of most people, an image of themselves "unmasked." However, as many times I will take trying to prevent images like this being taken, I cannot deny that it is my true self being brought out of me.

I am naturally like this because I think of my mind and emotions like a really big canvas. This hypothetical canvas is then customized and conformed by anyone and everyone around me. Anyone in my life has the ability to change my mood and expression in the blink of an eye because that is how I have discovered my expressions and emotions to function.

In all honesty, I choose not to submit images of myself like this because I just find it to be weird. To begin with, my expressionless face might create a sense of awkwardness between me and the viewer (I do not know how I managed even accomplish that). Secondly, I see no attention grabber or hook even that would motivate anyone to want to be my friend in this picture. I do not look friendly, nor is my picture location visually appealing. Like seriously, if the background of my room while I take a weird picture of my true self at my desk attracts attention, then I would be thriving with friends. Finally, I just do not like the sign of my "unmasked" face. I feel like I look rather bored and have little personality when in reality, I am a fun person to talk to once we get acquainted. This is the real me.

Take a look; side by side, it is pretty easy to determine which picture is more likely to be shared to the public, and which image is to be kept in secret. Deleted almost instantly even (which will happen after this assignment is submitted). Overall, I want to reiterate the fact that people like myself chose to take and broadcast specific images of themselves because they put out what they think other people will like to see. They want to put out the "masked" version of themselves so that their appearance is socially accepted. As upsetting as it is, this metaphorical "mask" that is used by everyone is used to cover up insecurities and in some cases, pain. This is also mentioned in Sontag's passage when she writes "It is mainly a social rite, a defense against anxiety, and a tool of power" (Paragraph 8). Sontag mentions how some utilize their "mask" as a form of defense against their true selves behind each photograph that is taken of them. Aside from this, she also brings up a very valid argument: Power.

Just as there are those who use their "mask" to hide their insecurities, there are others who use their "mask" to obtain power. This power is commonly used to control a negative platform that can be used for bullying or even control. One can project themselves as being tough and mean when using their "mask" while deep down they are just as innocent as the next person. Power can also be used in a good way to send positivity through your image.

Overall, I do admit that I hide behind a "mask" in most of the pictures that are taken of me (the ones that I am aware of at least). I do however feel that my true self is not far off from my "masked" self because it all boils down to appearance in my case. I want to present myself as someone relatable and easygoing so that I can portray myself as someone very likable and well known because ultimately, that is both how I see myself and how I wish to be seen by others. This is me.