Perhaps, before you looked at your White privilege you believed some of these things:

• The world is, for the most part, a fair and just place.

• Anyone can be successful if they work hard.

• If your heart is in the right place, then you are a good and kind person.

But some of these things might not seem so simple when you know that there are so many systematic ways we get treated better than our fellow humans who are Black, Indigenous and People of Color. This feeling that the world is not what you thought it was, can feel like a loss that we need to mourn. We can also feel like we're losing our identity as good people as we reflect on the ways that we benefit from racist systems.

The graphic below shows some of the feelings we might experience as we unpack our privilege. We may find that we move from one type of emotion to the next, but we also might find that sometimes we return to feelings we thought we got over.

It is no coincidence that many White folks experience the same feelings when they unpack their privilege. This is because of something called White Supremacy Culture. Dismantling Racism explains that White Supremacy Culture is the attitudes, values, beliefs, and ways of being created to justify and uphold racism and keep White folks in power.

Tema Okun, in partnership with Kenneth Jones created a list of 15 characteristics of "White Supremacy Culture" that drive the way we behave and support racism. They are summarized below.

Because White Supremacy Culture is driving our emotional responses to unpacking privilege, it is really important that we acknowledge them, feel them, and work through them, so we can keep progressing toward making positive changes in our society. Ultimately, we want to get to an emotional place where we're ready to change that culture so we can create a better world for everyone!

Have you ever tried to tell someone about something you were struggling with and they kept making it about them? You might say, "I'm just so stressed out by how hard my math homework is every night. Math has always been really challenging for me." and they might respond, "I know what you mean! I got straight A's in math last year and now if I get below a 95% I'm going to be so embarrassed. It's so stressful!" It feels pretty awful when someone takes up the emotional space you were trying to use.

This is something that often happens when White folks talk about race. We make our emotions so big that they take up valuable space where the issues facing BIPOC folks should be. Since we're used to being at the center of the conversation, sometimes we make it all about us. It's not cool to be the White person crying about how guilty you feel about having White privilege while your Black friend is trying to tell you how hard it is to deal with racism on the daily. It's important to understand the way White supremacy plays a role in the way we show our emotions.

So how do we actually process all the feels without taking up all the space? We must decenter Whiteness. Decentering means taking privileged groups out of the spotlight to focus on the experiences, feelings, and needs of marginalized groups.

To do this, we can use the NICE method below to process our emotions:

Week 3

White Supremacy Culture: the attitudes, values, beliefs, and ways of being created to justify and uphold racism and keep White folks in power

Decentering: taking privileged groups out of the spotlight to focus on the experiences, feelings, and needs of marginalized groups

WEEK 2

Dominant Culture: groups of people labeled as "normal" in a society because they have the most power to say what's normal because they historically have the power to make the laws

Subordinate Culture: groups of people who don't fit the narrow definition of "normal" created by the dominant culture

Privilege: the benefits people get from holding an identity that is part of the dominant culture

Marginalized: when a group of people is treated as insignificant, powerless, or lesser because of their identity

White Privilege: the benefits White people get simply for being White

Common Decency: the opportunity, kindness, and trust given to privileged people that everyone else should have

Unearned Power: imbalances of power that allow privileged people to get away with harmful actions.

WEEK 1

White Supremacy: the ways that our society is built to create a hierarchy with White folks on top. It is the ways the laws, norms, and expectations of our society put White people first, while harming Black people , Indigenous people, and People of Color (BIPOC).

Oppression: unjust treatment and harm over a long time due to your belonging to a group that has less power.

Interpersonal Harm: hurt done by one person to another.

Systemic Oppression: harm done by systems like laws, institutions (education, medicine, prison), and societal norms

Anti-Racism: actively working to end systemic racism by changing your thoughts, actions, and the society around you

Active Ally: someone who is against racism, mostly in their thoughts and words

Accomplice: someone who is against racism through their actions and behaviors

Co-conspirator: someone who is actively working with BIPOC communities to end racism by taking risks in their daily lives