There are two ways we can step in when someone says or does something racist:

• Calling Out

• Calling In

These methods are very different and each has their place in particular situations.

Calling out is a direct and public way of telling someone that they are being racist, offensive or harmful.
Calling out aims to get someone to stop their behavior by holding them accountable in front of others so they are uncomfortable continuing to behave in this way. It is often very effective because the humiliation of being called out makes the person stop, but can also result in people being very defensive or so embarrassed they shut down and stop listening. This can be useful in some situations, but can also end the conversation before it starts.

Calling in is a way of sharing with someone the harm they are causing, while supporting them in learning to do better.

Calling in still aims to stop someone from being harmful, but does this with compassion and patience. It helps the person understand how they are being harmful and allows them the space to ask questions and learn from their mistake. It may still result in defensiveness or discomfort, but when we are calling in, we try to support them through these feelings so they can grow.

How we address someone who is causing harm can strongly affect how willing they are to listen and change their mind. The TedTalk below is from Megan Phelps-Roper, a woman who left and critiques the Westboro Baptist Church (a group who are openly homophobic and antisemitic, among other harmful beliefs). She talks about how people on the internet convinced her to leave behind her harmful ways. Watch the video to learn how the way we tell people about their behavior impacts whether they change their mind:

So we can see that connection and compassion are useful tools to help change someone's thinking and behavior. So how do we do it?

Calling in can be complicated, so it is important to understand when is the right time to call someone in. Use the questions below to decide:

Calling in will not always be successful or instantly life-changing. You may have times when the person you're talking to:

• gets angry or defensive

• refuses to listen

• cries or feels guilt

• walks away

So what can we do when the call in goes wrong? Read the graphic below for some tips:

So what makes calling in hard? One of the biggest reasons calling in is challenging is because it requires a lot of empathy and compassion for a person who has caused harm. Calling in is best for people who you have a positive relationship with already. It requires you to have patience with their learning and to believe they can be better. Calling in asks you to control your emotional reaction so the person who has caused harm can hear you better. It means you have to tap into the learning you've already done and remember what it was like to not know. It's not always the right method, and it's certainly not the easiest, but when you are able to do it, it can be really effective.

Here's the thing though:

Even though calling in is hard and sometimes uncomfortable, White people need to do it in order to fight racism.

Like we discussed last week, complicity encourages racist behaviors. In order to be co-conspirators we have to take risks (like relationships, reputation, or comfort) to interrupt people's racist beliefs and actions. If we stand by when we see harmful behaviors, we allow them to keep happening.

WEEK 6: CALLING IN

Calling Out: a direct and public way of telling someone that they are being racist, offensive or harmful

Calling In: a way of sharing with someone the harm they are causing, while supporting them in learning to do better

WEEK 5: OWN UP

Impact: how your action affects others

Intention: how you meant for your actions to affect others

Complicity: being involved in, helping, or knowing about (but not stopping) wrongdoing, like not speaking up against racism

Cultural Appropriation: using the customs, language, fashion, behaviors, traditions, or practices of a marginalized group to your benefit without acknowledging and learning from the culture

Microaggressions: subtle actions or statements that cause harm because they remind marginalized people of their experiences with discrimination

Performative Allyship: participating in activism for the recognition as a "good person" publicly, rather than to actually improve the world

White Saviorism: participating in actions you believe will rescue BIPOC people from their bad situations, making you the hero

White Fragility: becoming defensive, guilty, or aggressive when you own racism or privilege is pointed out

Validation-Seeking: taking actions to prove that you are a "good" white person and expecting acknowledgement for doing these action and having good intentions

WEEK 4: ACT ON IT

Internal Work: the work we do on ourselves to become better people and co-conspirators

External Work: the work we do in our communities and societies to make the world a better place

WEEK 3: PROCESS THE FEELS

White Supremacy Culture: the attitudes, values, beliefs, and ways of being created to justify and uphold racism and keep White folks in power

Decentering: taking privileged groups out of the spotlight to focus on the experiences, feelings, and needs of marginalized groups

WEEK 2: UNPACK YOUR PRIVILEGE

Dominant Culture: groups of people labeled as "normal" in a society because they have the most power to say what's normal because they historically have the power to make the laws

Subordinate Culture: groups of people who don't fit the narrow definition of "normal" created by the dominant culture

Privilege: the benefits people get from holding an identity that is part of the dominant culture

Marginalized: when a group of people is treated as insignificant, powerless, or lesser because of their identity

White Privilege: the benefits White people get simply for being White

Common Decency: the opportunity, kindness, and trust given to privileged people that everyone else should have

Unearned Power: imbalances of power that allow privileged people to get away with harmful actions.

WEEK 1: WHERE ARE YOU?

White Supremacy: the ways that our society is built to create a hierarchy with White folks on top. It is the ways the laws, norms, and expectations of our society put White people first, while harming Black people , Indigenous people, and People of Color (BIPOC).

Oppression: unjust treatment and harm over a long time due to your belonging to a group that has less power.

Interpersonal Harm: hurt done by one person to another.

Systemic Oppression: harm done by systems like laws, institutions (education, medicine, prison), and societal norms

Anti-Racism: actively working to end systemic racism by changing your thoughts, actions, and the society around you

Active Ally: someone who is against racism, mostly in their thoughts and words

Accomplice: someone who is against racism through their actions and behaviors

Co-conspirator: someone who is actively working with BIPOC communities to end racism by taking risks in their daily lives