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There are different types of psychological assaults. a. Threats of violence and harm The perpetrator’s threats of violence or harm may be directed against the victim or others important to the victim or they may be suicide threats. Sometimes the threat includes killing the victim and others and then committing suicide. The threats may be made directly with words (e.g., “I’m going to kill you,” “No one is going to have you,” “Your mother is going to pay,” “I cannot live without you”) or with actions (e.g., stalking, displaying weapons, hostage taking, suicide attempts). Perpetrators may be violent towards others (e.g., neighbors, family members) as a means of terrorizing victims. Perpetrators may coerce victims into doing something illegal (e.g., prostitution, larceny) and then threaten to expose them, or may make false accusations against them (e.g., reports to Child Protective Services, to the welfare department, or to immigration). b. Attacks against property or pets and other acts of intimidation. Attacks against property and pets are not random acts. It is the wall the victim is standing near that gets hit, or the door she is hiding behind that gets torn off of its hinges, the victim’s favorite china that is smashed or her pet cat that is strangled in front of her, the table that she is sitting near that gets pounded or one of the perpetrator’s favorite objects that gets smashed while he says, “Look what you made me do.” The message to the victim is always, “You can be next.” The intimidation can also be carried out without damage to property, by the perpetrator yelling and screaming in the victim’s face, standing over the victim during a fight, driving recklessly when the victim or children are present, stalking, or putting the victim under surveillance. UNDERSTANDING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Intimidation may not always include a threat of physical harm, but may instead be carried out by damaging the victim’s relationships with others or her reputation in her community by discrediting her with employers, ministers, friends, neighbors. Emotional abuse Emotional abuse is a tactic of control that consists of a wide variety of verbal attacks and humiliations, including repeated verbal attacks against the victim’s worth as an individual or role as a parent, family member, friend, co-worker, or community member. The verbal attacks often emphasize the victim’s vulnerabilities (such as her past history as an incest victim, language abilities, skills as a parent, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, or HIV status). Sometimes the batterer will play “mind games” to undercut the victim’s sense of reality (e.g., specifically directing her to do something, then claiming that he never asked her to do it when she complies).