POSTLUDE

TO MY READERS,

I'm sure you're all wondering what followed next in A Mar's story after she decided not to pursue the MRCPCH and instead prioritized her family, then she returned. To cut a long story short,indeed, A Mar, Ba Maung Chain, and their adoring son Aung Kyaw Aye would live happily ever after. However, they did not get legal adoption rights from Aung Kyaw Aye's biological parents until around 1970.

A Mar began working as a pediatrician at South Okkalapa Central Hospital shortly after her return from abroad.She also worked part-time in the private sector as well. She eventually got her dream house, which was located at Seventh Mile, Siri Avenue Street, Mayangone Township, as No. 35 (K) residence.

The angle manorial may be seen from the edge of Pyi road.(Now: it has changed to Alpha Company HQ.)She also gave me my birth name, "Myat Thiri Kyaw" (Admiring, graceful, and outstanding one). Thiriyeiktar Street or Siri Avenue Street, which means Gracious Avenue Street, was also given by her.

She would then plant as many Gardenia, Plumeria, Jasmine, and other delicate plants as her heart pleased in her dream home. Jasmine shrubs also spread widely at the back of the house as well.

The lovely structure known as A Mar's exquisite house was then surrounded by a green yard and other home grown vegetation.She then built and renovated a commodious sitting room for her loving extroverted husband's satisfaction, which can accommodate a respectable crowd for different parties.

She decorated the house with the azure curtains she bought from Landon; and they were wonderful to everybody who saw them.The dining room was purposely created with broad and wide windows that allowed for views of the green yard and house verdure.

We still have the kitchenware that A Mar initially bought and collected, such as Chinese sets, glassware, and other cutlery, in my current residence.

I, on the other hand, grew up in the exact home which is built on the very dream of A Mar, and my father is the one and only Aung Kyaw Aye. Out of affection and intimacy, I constantly refer to A Mar as "Mummy."

I have to call her mother; who is the great grandmama to me, as "May May Gyi”, and to the grandpa Ba Maung Chain though, I have to call him “Pho Pho Gyi”. I learned that my natural grandparents are U Tin Maung Aye and Daw Khin Mya Ni, when I was in fifth grade.

When I was younger, whenever I went to see my biological grandparents, no matter how long I stayed, whether it was a short visit or not, Pho Pho Gyi would call us and ask us to return early.He would always ask, "Aren't you coming back yet?" whenever we aren't around. He was always concerned that I would grow more attached to other grandparents than to him. He was always unhappy whenever we went to my biological grandparents' place.He is utterly in love with his adoptive son, Aung Kyaw Aye, and therefore, he is also crazy in love with me as well.

Pho Pho Gyi is a retired Deputy Director General from the Ministry of Industry (1). I recall that when Pho Pho Gyi used to go to work, I would always place my baby doll in his lunchbox's basket as a present, and he would always appreciate receiving it and would typically say to me,

"You even gave me your precious doll, my darling? How amazing and adorable you are, showing your love for me in this manner. I just love you so much!".

And he would kiss me or toss me into the air after returning the doll and saying farewell and go to work.

I remembered our typical morning breakfast routine, which included a Western breakfast on Monday, ordinary Mohinga on Tuesday, Sesam on Wednesday, or something else, and so on. Mummy, on the other hand, would prepare us the customary breakfast, but she would only have something that is as simple as leftover rice sesam with chickpea crisps or fish sauce curry. I preferred mummy's breakfast back in the days and still do.

Pho Pho Gyi's love and devotion to mummy is astonishingly out of this world; it was a type of overpowering, self-centered, a bit of selfishness and hard love, and yet it was affectingly pitiful and heartbreaking in another way. A lifetime of misery from his mother-in-law in return for the love of his life; A Mar.

The story of eloping with his lover by car is genuine, as is the story of his second attempt to sneak away his lover even under the careful eyes of the custodian. They were so gangster-like, so rugged, so dramatic, and yet they became drab after a time.

I've also seen the newspaper announcement for A Mar disappearing. But I'm not so convinced about the abortion story because it was more of a tell-tale by relatives than knowing the entire story from the victim or the person who responsible for that repulsion act. I never asked Mummy about it since it was too intimate to drag up.But if that were actual, I'd say that's incredible, a sad story indeed. But I am convinced that neither of my step-grandparents can bear a child of their own.

May May Gyi or my grand mummy, was a bigmama-like queen of her world. She was like a kind of old lady with a large body, top with tiny hair bun. When she sits, she looks like a large pot, and everyone in our family would call her a chubby tummy behind her back. We still have the scales and weight she brought with her when escaping from the wars.

After so many years of skews, Pho Pho Gyi and May May Gyi have become arch-enemies. They couldn't stand each other. The relationship between them has become more and more toxic and noxious. Ironically, I became a problem between them since I was their only grandchild, and I am not that of a good girl, instead I was a cracker back then.

My mother once went to the store and bought a new makeup kit. I was so eager to try it out that I kept pleading with my mum to give it to me. However, she refuses. Because every time I test or play with new items purchased by my mother, I ruined most of them.

I was really upset and started crying when my mum refused to give it to me.Not only that, but when May May Gyi heard my screams, she asked my mother why I was crying, and after she discovered the reason for my crying, she began to scold my mother for her refusal to give me.

"Why can't you simply give it to her? Your kid is sobbing like crazy, for crying out loud. Eh, cosmetics? What are you going to do with it? What is the point? Is it good for you-hooing? eh? for self-oozing satiation eh?"

Pho Pho Gyi can no longer ignore the loud slur after hearing the whole bloody thing. So he begins to cover for my mum and yells back at May May Gyi.

"How come you can't just sit still and be quiet, you old things?" Let the mother tend after her child; she knows what to do; let her do it herself”

And then, it became a long argument between them, all because of me.

May May Gyi was yelling from the sitting room while watching tv, while Pho Pho Gyi was having a meal in the kitchen.When Pho Pho Gyi heard May May Gyi's response,

"Who cares, what's going to do about it, I'll say anything I want to.",

He then grabs a glass of water from the table and throws it straight towards May May Gyi,luckily it only hits the wall near her. The scenario becomes even more heated as the volume of their dispute increases, they get closer to each other, and the argument turns physical.

Meanwhile, I was crying in a dark nook of the middle room, where I could see the entire situation. My aunt Naing Naing, who had been watching me while the whole horrible thing was going on, suddenly blamed me for what I had done.

"You see, Mon? you see you had been a bad girl. all the grownup are now busting up each other"

Then I felt terrible guilt and promised my aunt that I would never ask for things that my mother would not give me and that I would never whine to May May Gyi again.

That was the last time I was naughty. I've changed into a new person as a result of the occurrences. So much has changed that because it has its own reason. When A Mar heard that her mother was being yelled at by her husband, she then can no longer step aside but must back her mother up,offended by that, Pho Pho Gyi then took out his gun from the wall and angrily pointed it at everyone and bawled out.

"I dare you to live in my house, darn it, leave me alone with my boys and his girl!" Go! "Go away, I'll happily let you go."

My one and only Pho Pho Gyi, I adore him. After that, he gets unwell and feeble. Has to be hospitalized periodically.He can no longer use the stairs and has had to live on the ground floor ever since.

When I got home from school in the evening, I would go into the room where Pho Pho Gyi was resting and play with him all the time.My mother once said that Pho Pho Gyi only smiles when he's with me, and he'll never be the same to others again.

Just before the summer of my first grade, my beloved Pho Pho Gyi Ba Maung Chain had departed. The story of his departure was quite a delicate one, it was when Mummy asked Pho Pho Gyi,

"Are you going to have breakfast first or check your blood pressure?"

and he said,

"I suppose testing the blood pressure would be nice,"

and then, while lying down on his bed to test his pressure, he gradually lost his breath without any pain or discomfort, and peacefully passed away.

I recall everyone saying on the day of the memorial that even though Pho Pho Gyi was dead, he was still smiling, and I believe that was true at the time. Just as the service begins, the pudgy belly bigmama dashes through the throng and approaches the casket. She looks devastated. And then, to everyone's dismay, she burst into tears.Follows a dreadful stream of sobs.

"Oh, My Son, Ba Maung Chain, it should have been me instead of you, Oh Goodness, I hope you forgive me!"

When I was writing this, I had the thought that if she apologized to him 10 years prior, I wonder if he would live even longer than ten or twenty years. What a pity.

Daw Ma Ma Lay died in 1988, at the age of 87. There are no major medical problems. Nobody knows when she died, but when we checked on her since she wasn't getting up as she usually did, we discovered she died quietly in her sleep.

My loving daddy died in 1999, leaving just mummy to care for us, and she continues to be the queen of the house as always. Following the death of daddy, the rights to inherit paternal grandma's belongings were also lost. There is no trace left to access.

Mummy died in 2005, at the age of 84. Prior to her death, she appointed a legal representative to the house and planned the adoption of me and my brother as her daughter and sons in order to secure the inheritance rights.

Following her death, there are no vexations over inheritance rights or anything else as a result because she has always had far sighted loves. All due to her, both my brother and I have all of our assets without any difficulties.She was our sole great grandma, and she is also our adoptive mother.

Mummy has had a lovely life. She has never had any difficulties or become enmeshed with anybody or anything.She has never had any reason to deliberately trouble herself, her loving husband, her only son, or her own mother. She is a good person, and she has always been a kind person. In my opinion, she is the most ordinary extraordinary person I have ever known.

Nonetheless, her final days on Earth were the most difficult of her life. She did not have the quiet departing luck of Pho Pho Gyi or May May Gyi; instead, she faced the most agonizing suffering one could conceive.

Because her body was so frail, we had to prepare the services as soon as she died. I thought to myself then, No matter how long and prosperous a life lived with golden dust, it would never last forever, and everything would undoubtedly end up in the same way.

A Mar (or Doctor Than Htay), my beloved mummy, is an observant, perceptive, and acute individual.As a woman, her life was long and full of changes, ups and downs, hardships and pleasures, wonderful and painful, and yet she remained as ordinary as she could even be able to climb the torturous stairway and lead her life, and make it extraordinary in every way possible.Her decisions in life were all just and appropriate.

We are all in her gratitude because without her light and shadow, providence and guidance we wouldn't be able to exist at all. She still has eternal providence over us. After both May May Gyi and Pho Pho Gyi passed away, her life changed a little to give herself little relief. After then She was able to lived a brief life of tranquility and peace.

I miss her terribly. I was considering setting up a "Memorial Art Exhibition" in her honor using some of the remaining pieces of her legacy that I have currently been able to retain. However, I had to put it off because everything needed to be managed carefully and attentively in a situation like this. Instead, I added a few of the memories I wanted to use to make this piece even more vivid and memorable. I suppose it really has pleased everybody. It would be solely my fault if the outcomes of my effort and my sincere intentions unintentionally offended or insulted somebody. With this book, "A Mar," I hope you will be pleased and continue to learn new things and acquire the elegance from the story.

Eternally grateful with all one’s heart

Mon Halsey

26th, May, 2020

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