1942 - 1944

PART ONE

1942 - 1944

SECTION 1

A “HOSPITAL”, the description of a tiny brick building, withstanding under the midsummer heat of Mynn Bu City to its extent. The building was packed. Crowded with sick and injured, but there were no doctors and nurses sufficient to take care of them. As an out-turn of the war, all medical supplies were scarce.

No easement or relief whatsoever when A Mar looked at her plaster cast leg. Which got rooted on the bed. A med-student got her leg broken and was at the hospital, in need of others' care. What an ironic thing. Unable to give a hand to others, feeling awful, bad and awkward.

Mother went home while the carers were around. She is exhausted too. Dear Friend Ma Hla Kyin and Sayarma: A Mar’s Teacher have come to ask and chit chat about how things stand.

“I hear that they went directly to Sagaing, you know, thought the bomb would not drop near the sanctuary. All of them think so.”

No matter what the context is, every conversation led to war news. The Imperial Japanese had invaded our homeland. The blood rage of the second world war had come to raze our land, now.

What an agonising situation for civilians like us, trapped between British and Japanese forces. Just recently, in the timeline of October in 1942, the Buffalo Bros: A British plane whose wings are curvy, pointy, bending like dark green Buffalo horns, dropped a bomb on the top of a Japanese Oil Tanker, destroyed indefinitely. A shocking news indeed.

Bombs were dropped at least once per week by allied forces at cities like Pyi, Magway and Yangon. But for us who live in small town city like Mynn Bu, aside from a bomb dropping planes, seeing an airplane was so thrilling, rare, bizarre, and strange. Naively, first time ever seeing a plane, curious folks went to the riverbank of Irrawaddy, and a bomb was dropped. Death was sudden and quick for so many unfortunate souls that day.

After that doomsday event, everyone from every ward had to dig up their bomb shelter. Be as it may, A Mar was living in Yangon, attending Med School there.

World War II began by the act of direct attack on the United States: Pearl Harbour in 1941 by the Imperial Japanese. And a colonial state like Burma as well at war, allied with coloniser Britain and its allied forces.

Before everything, A Mar lived at Ba Ba Kyi Tar Nyo and Kyi Kyi Daw Shin's residency at Yangon, San Chaung, Zayyawaddy Street. To attend the Medical School at Lanmadaw Township, as a second-year student. But under circumstances due to the post-war situation, A Mar must pack all things up and head back to the countryside, a typical town in Magway Region, native Mynn Buu city. And all the schools were closed subsequently.

In the bleak time of shell shock, everyone suffers the same misery, despair, desolate and agony of war. A broken leg, unable to even act or move about, A Mar feels the worst of her life, hopeless and gloom.

A single daughter of a single mum, A Mar thought to herself, she must poise and brace, not because of herself, but because of her mother, they cannot survive without each other, family is the first. They thought about running away to Sagaing or Rangoon to find shelter, but A Mar's current misfortune makes it harder than ever.

“Oh, it is going to dark soon, I think you should take a leave for now or else, Ma Hla Kyin? And Sayarma?”

A Mar told them apologetically, feeling supplicated.

“Oh, no worries, dear, don’t you feel bad, it’s alright, we go as soon as Aunty comes back, OK?”

Ma Hla Kyin comforts A Mar with warm words, she is always like that, a friend who indeed came to help when in need. Supporting her family ever since she dropped out in seventh grade. The most strong and sweet friend A Mar ever had. A Mar passed the matriculation exam within a year but was forced to choose the Medical School by both ambitious parents, a major that never had interests in before.

Sayarma reach her hand out to the Bananas and asked me,

“I think Auntie’s coming, are you hungry? A Mar?”

Nothing goods that would crave A Mar right now, and there will not be any good things to have during this kind of time other than local fare. The odour of the hospital germicide and the sweaty, humid, dreadful smells of the crowd makes the macerate April’s evening dismal and gloomy even more so.

The profound impact of the calamity of war is higher than ever at the small-town city of Mynn Buu, a minor of Magway Region, Midland Myanmar. The minuscule was crowded with sick and injured and the dead are on the count. The city was falling, the people were in the most chaotic states, out of order.

A Mar cannot think clearly, A Mar head is full of worries and uncertainty of everything. What if? What if the Buffalo Bros come right now? Apart from worrisome thinking, she could do nothing. If the bomb dropping plane did came, the last and sure things A Mar would do is, praying. Pray harder than ever to the Three Jewels, and just wait for the unthinkable. No life is safe, no living is a shield, no one is guard, no time to defend oneself, death can come to any soul at any mean time. Thinking about it made A Mar lose her appetite.

“A Mar just thirst, some water please, Sayarma?”

Sayarma takes the jar near the bedside table and pours the water in the glass and gives it to A Mar, with a concerned smile. As soon as the glass reach to the hand of A Mar, a loud and clear bomb warning siren was coming from a far. With the terrifying sound of bray went on lingering, the heart of A Mar too, went on beating like a war drum, harder and faster, jitters and creeps with anxiety. The glass was dropped to the ground with a splash, wet and damp.

“Oh, NO, OH, my lord, the Buffalos Bros are coming!”

Said, the pale women across the hall, and the whole wings was in madness, full of eerie cries, sounds of creepy bewailing, moaning of elderly, repenting of some unfortunate, weeping of worrisome wife., but as for Sayarma, A Mar and Ma Hla Kyin, they just gawking at each other and had no ideas of what to do or how to manage in such petrifying event.

And then, with no regret of whatsoever, A Mar shout, aloud, -

“Oh, go on now, leave me here, take some shelter, RUN, Sayarma, RUN, Ma Hla Kyin, leave A Mar here.,”

Shivering, frightening, shaking and the worrisome tears are streaming.

“Oh, NO, we won’t, nonsense, hey, Ma Hla Kyin, come on now dear, take it off, help me to take it off, take off the bond and bows, hurry up, chop-chop!”

Sayarma stare at A Mar with the ensuring message, and averring at Ma Hla Kyin to unbind A Mar Leg form the bed, but Ma Hla Kyin was shaking and loony, annoyed Sayarma took on the bows and rashly unbinding it...,

“Oh No, NO, go on now go, all will be dead if you do not go now, just go, RUN, NOW! Leave me,

leave A Mar, I will be fine …, just go”

A Mar did warn and shout at them to leave her, but as the bows were untied, the heavy, plaster cast leg fell on the bed, and it was the most painful agony A Mar has ever experienced.

Some carers bunk off from their patient, and the one who could move about are advancing slowly and heading to nearby shelter, leaving the hospital gradually empty. As for the doctors and nurses, they too, cannot risk their life in a dicey place, helping the snail-like wheel-chair patient to the nearest safe-bunker.

“Come on Now, dear, I am gonna carry you, OK? Piggyback me, Now, don’t you worry, I can carry you, on my count, both of us take a leave, OK?”

Sayarma took on A Mar's hand and put the whole body on her back, pushing up the bottom of A Mar, making sure to steady, firm and balance. Frightened Ma Hla Kyin follows them from behind, carrying all the things that belong to A Mar and a bag was draping on her neck as well.

Just as they left the bed, an ear gaping sound of the siren was on again, all the sudden, and three of them stooped for a moment, covering the ears with their able hands. Sayarma though, snaping her teeth and trying her best to abide the torture, shaking her head, and shutting her eyes off. This time, it was the second warning siren, if the siren were ON for the third time, which would be the final warning and ensuring the Buffalo Bros attacks.

“RUN! RUN! RUN!”

The Warden of the Hospital shouting from the gate to run as one could and ringing the bell continuously, three of them ran as fast as they could, and reached some yard from the dreadful hospital, but the bunker was far quite a few yards and must cross a small field to arrive there. And then, A Mar saw it, a tiny, blacky things, two of them, slowly falling from the clear blue sky.

A Mar cries,

“Sayarma?” “Sayarma? RUN, RUN!”

Ma Hla Kyin too, saw the blacky things falling to mother earth. Terrified, panicked, frightened and she shouted, aloud, whoever heard her voice, it would make their blood run cold for sure. Shocking, Alarming, intimidating situation and as they reach some yard, the behind route they took was full of dusty mist, the sun was hot, no shading of trees, Sayarma was sweaty as she is taking a bath, her leg was weary and trying her best not to fell on the ground.

Three women, running for their life, under the midsummer heat, on the dusty misty field of typical midland ground. And behind them, the dead bringer plane is nearer and nearer as they approach the bunker, and the bomb were drop with the hissing, buzzing sound.

One person with another on her back, the other was with things on her both hands and draping bag on her neck, as they reach the doorstep of the bunker, all of them heard the banging, blasting sound of explosion from behind, and the surroundings was under the mist and smoke of the despairs, smell of dolorous.

🜋🜋🜋

SECTION 2

A Mar was saved from the most ambiguous event of sudden death by an ordinary duo, who are neither heroes nor brave chevaliers, but their involuntary obligations towards saving a life and the perpetual kindness of their selflessness were unquestionably quite extraordinary.

A Mar will never forget their bravery and will be eternally grateful to them. A Mar's mind was indistinguishable when the bomb exploded and blasted all over the bunker, but after realising she was still alive, A Mar was shocked, overwhelmed, and thankful. A Mar thought to herself, "No matter what happens, there is still hope and some ordinary people might have the extraordinary power to reassure without any intent but pure kindness of humanness."

A Mar found the strength to live for another day thanks to those fleeting thoughts. An attribute of life: a vigour of eagerness to survive. Yet, A Mar has not reached the position of the person who could help others, is still hovering and cannot even poise up.

A Mar's choice of profession was decided by her father, because a fragile, precarious, weak, and delicate person needs self-furtherance. He was a licensed medical practitioner, so he was aware of the risks to his daughter's life.

Ever since childhood, A Mar has been the type of girl who gets easily scared of everything. Even harmless animals such as earthworms, tiny frogs, green garden snakes, cockroaches, fire ants, and the tiny frantic gecko, could make A Mar loathe and abhor.

As a state school child, she is required to attend even during the rainy season, and the midland rain is typically a passing warm, humid, wet, and drizzle-fizzle misty rain. So, naturally, whenever the rain is coming or going, or before or after, all the little, tiny insects, lizards, and animals come out of their dwellings, and they can be all over everywhere.

It was intimidating and overwhelming for her. She once saw an earthworm near the front yard of the house, on the pathway to the street, anticipating going to school, but the earthworm scared her, made her feel threatening and cried of loath; but the one who encouraged her not to be scared or have menace was her lifelong friend Ma Hla Kyin, and she was the one who grabbed A Mar's hand and escorted her to go to school together.

A weakling like Amar was determined to go to medical school, where she would undoubtedly see, feel, touch, smell, search for, and operate on the dead. It was so ironic that, unsurprisingly, when she must do all of that, she trembles and faints.

A Mar' mum, on the other hand, does not want her one and only daughter to be a country girl; she wants her to be a city girl who is educated, graduated, standard, foresighted, and considerate. Most country girls are fourth or eighth grade dropouts who naturally become housemaids.

If they are fortunate enough to find themselves a hard working spouse, then their lives are, that's about it, capable standards of basic education, adept standards of groundwork, and a fairly neutral status of in-between, not so low as such as grass roots, nor so high as middle class, or as to say, working class.

A Mar was able to pass the most difficult exam: colloquially known as the 10th Grade Exam, thanks to her mum's nurturing and discipline.

Due to the goodwill and influence of both parents, A Mar is forced to enrol in medical school against her will. And, for the first time in her life, a once-country girl has arrived in the great city of Yangon to attend medical school. She has no choice but to stay with six cousins at her mother's relative's house in SanChaung, Zayyawaddy Street.

A Mar went to school with no physical changes, not even her maiden hairstyle of short fringe. Her short fringe would reveal that she is a country girl, regardless of how fashionable she dresses.

A short message from Mynn Bu arrived shortly after she had settled in Yangon and begun attending school. A Mar must pack her belongings and return to her home in the midlands as soon as possible.When she arrived, she found her father in a sick bed; his ascites condition was far worse than she had anticipated, as the abdomen was visibly swollen and yellow. He was still able to speak.

“A Mar…”

“Yes, father, I am here…”

“Come closer to me, come near to me, come on, put your hand on this side, here!”

He asked her to feel the right side of his tummy, and A Mar felt something hard inside.

"It's very hard, father?"

"Yes, darling, that's the liver, the liver no longer functions, so the fluid that should be gone isn't going out, so they're slowly building up in my belly, you see?"

He is aware of his condition, but there are no medical or treatment options available to him.

"Even if I tried paracentesis, they keep filling it up, I know for sure, darling, I think my time is up. Don't feel lost or remorse, but be firm and steady dear, for your mother and your little brother, you must take care of them for me, keep striving to become a doctor just as I know you would be, I truly think you will."

That was Father's parting words, and since then, his tummy has become like a balloon on the verge of popping. And he blacked out shortly after his tummy was musty and stale. He was gone in a matter of days. The family pillar has collapsed, and the roof of a warm home has cracked and been wrecked.

No one in A Mar's family was capable of caring for and saving, not even her mother, who happened to know nothing of hard work or housekeeping, and A Mar's brother was still a child, an elementary student. All of the family's burdens were suddenly placed on A Mar's shoulders in a matter of days.

They could all survive right now if they realised some of the valuable possessions, but to continuing until A Mar finishes her studies is a serious hurdle; there are still five or six years to finish her school, and not only the cost of her education but also the expenses of her brother's schooling must be taken into account, on top of all, the living expenses and so on are too, essential.

Everything is overwhelming, challenging, devastating and demoralising indeed.

“Mamá”

In the midlands, calling mother "Mama" was common; it sounded like addressing a sister, but it was a brogue, a soft accent.

"A Mar believes A Mar should quit the medical school and instead let the younger brother finish his education."

“Oh!, what are you going to do then?

"I'm going to be a tailor, you know, I can sew and knit."

"None-sense, listen you two, don't worry, you don't have to do anything, believe in me, I will make sure both of you finish your studies without any worries, see here, weighing stone and scale, I am going to be a vendor or huckster if necessary,”

A Mar is dazzled and heartbroken as she looks at her strong mother. The intimacy between her and her mother is simple and genuine, appears cold and heartless, but there is also love and heartiness.

There was no hugging or cuddling between them, but for the moment, A Mar felt like squeezing her mother into her heart, but A Mar would not dare to.

A Mars still remembers the night of the last memorial seventh day of her father’s grief, under the dark glow of an oil-lamp, there she was, A Mars's mother sitting one leg up and, smoking cheroot, vaporising the smoke, one after another in deep thoughts, no one knows what she was thinking, but a lot has changed since then.

🜋🜋🜋

SECTION 3

The usual environment of the midlands is dry; even the dirt splits, and no green roots can thrive beneath the lifeless ground. All of the leaves and plants had corroded. The searing heat is too much for any green.

Even after the sun has set, the heat lasts until midnight. Because of the dry season, everyone must be cautious when using fire. However, because of the frightening Japanese treatment, no one dares to use fire or light more than is absolutely necessary.

Worse, no one has food, there is no rationing, and no relief is coming from anywhere. Being cautious in all facets of life is critical in this kind of confusion and turmoil. There is no trust or love, and no one dares to be confident or dependable to one another.

At 6 p.m., just after the sun has set in the west, the city is dead; no living soul dares to go about, or come out of the dwelling in the night, or even make a sound. inactive and quiet. The majority of the residents have left, leaving the town desolate.

All of the neighbours have vanished, and the family across the street in front of A Mar's house has also abandoned their home and fled. Nobody stays behind to care for their abandoned possessions. Since it was from the countryside, the enclosure is wide open.

A Mar family, however, with a child as the man of the house and two naive ladies who are weak and despairing, and the fence around them has been ruined since no one could mend them. A Mar was still not fully recovered, and the doctor advised her to use a crutch as a precaution. However, A Mar couldn't receive a genuine crutch because she can barely walk.

Thanks to her mother, a wooden staff was the only alternative. Changes are extremely terrifying; a person's life might alter in a matter of a few days or within a month. First, the country's whole situation was turned upside down, and to make matters worse, A Mar's father died, causing the family in poverty and a broken leg. What could be more saddening?

Aside from mother, there are two people who must be regarded as life savers and givers: Sayarma and, of course, Ma Hla Kyin. When the Two Buffalo Twins arrived, they undoubtedly bombed the hospital directly from the top, but luckily A Mar was saved .Death was unexpected, however unusually detoured by two ordinary people in an astounding way. Strange daring and extraordinary actions sprang out of nowhere.

Ma Hla Kyin's entire family also left. She does not even have time to say goodbye since everything is happening so fast and everything has to decide and act as quickly as possible in the mean time, no one knows if they are still alive or not, Sayarma did come after the bombing tragedy, it was the parting final greet.

"Ma Ma Lay, I don't mean to be cheeky, but I think all of you should go now, it's not safe, and I ought to find refuge in Sagaing, you know?”

Ma Ma Lay was A Mar's mum's full name; in the midland, it is quite common and customary to call elders by their full name when the subject is serious.

"I believe we will stay as long as we can, and as you can see, clearly A Mar is still unable to walk ; it would be wonderful if her father were still alive; he could certainly carry her."

When she mentioned father, her voice lowered and her head down. Mum is a person with a hardened heart, who is strong and full of strength, but now that her husband has died and the war has begun, all the burden of family is on her shoulders, all the pressure is on and on, and the only person she can rely on was hurt and broken, the situation is getting worse, she is so brave that she doesn't cry or tear, instead lowering her head and steadying on. That alone made A Mar believe her mummy is a heroine.

The last person A Mar was going to take on as a backup was about to leave, and A Mar can hardly hold back her tears, wanting to tell her mother that she wants to join Sayarma and find refuge in Sagiang along with them all, but too scared to say anything. A Mar is aware of how her mother wishes to be and intends to be.

She is a proud woman who has lived as an independent, never allowing herself to be helped or assisted by others. A Mar knows that she wants to stay, no matter what happens, no matter how hard it is, she is going to stay, even if they all have to have cold and hard meal with salt alone, she doesn't want to be a person who has to ask for help, beg for aid, or take refuge, instead she wants to be in her place, where she and her husband built and stayed together, a place that made her mentally strong and safe.

"Make sure everything is in order because the bombing is ramping up, so I have heard. You know, a lot of souls were lost in yesterday's bombing, and I've heard that many dead bodies are floating down the river. Oh, I prayed, Ma Ma Lay, so that we could all be safe."

The ward where A Mar's family lived was on the riverbank, where one could see the majestic Irrawaddy, but because of the horrible things that were happening, the river was no longer majestic; instead, it was like an abhorrent, loathsome hell like things that did not belong to anyone or were not related to anyone, not even to Mother Earth.

Everyone is terrified of meeting or interacting with Japanese people, particularly the ruthless Kempeitai or anyone associated to or affiliated with them. Because no one is secure, not even children or the old, seniors or the young, no man or woman is invulnerable from their rage or paranoia, they would suspect everyone as an allied force spy or some type of espionage, or accuse the innocent as an accomplice of the west or anti-Japanese. They are cruel and malicious, and they may punish anyone for no apparent cause.

"I did make some preparations for when we need to flee from here, of course," said A Mar’s mother,

A Mar and her mother did arrange emergency packing using some of her late father's and brother's worn-out longyi, which included some essential appliances and clothing. And a tiny sack full of her mother's valuables, in case of emergency.

A sack of clothing, as well as a bag containing rice, oil, salt, chickpeas, and other dry products. A tote containing some of A Mar's second year textbook and, most importantly, stones and scales.

As A Mar paid her respects to Sayarma before she left, tears streamed.

"Oh, A Mar, don't worry, I'll be OK, and so will you." Life is too short to be depressed or gloomy, love; the most important thing is to keep striving; life is not about depression, unhappiness, melancholy, or grief, dear; look at you, you're still young and vibrant and quick and strong and full of vigour, I suppose you're still eighteen, right?" Life, you know, isn't about the future or the past; it's about the present, and nothing matters more than the present, love. Nobody knows what will happen in the future, so focusing on survival is vital; if you do that, you will get Over it."

"I… I'll try Sayarma, and you, too, stay safe and careful."

A Sad A Mar placed her head on Sayarma's knee, unknowingly wetting it with her tears. Sayarma placed her hands on A Mar's head and tapped a couple of times to comfort her pupils. And Sayarma says goodbye to A Mar’s mum.

"Ma Ma Lay, be cautious, be more vigilant, I will be fine, what if some catastrophe happens, don't you think of anything else but coming to us, Sagaing, Vepula Sanctuary, OK?" "I'm leaving now, farewell, and I trust we'll meet again."

Soon after Sayarma left, A Mar's and her mother locked all the doors and windows in the house and pretended no one was home, staying at the back of the house, in the little room, silently. Because the doors and windows are closed, the tubby and sweating mum can't even put on a top and sits cross-legged on the ground, partly naked and anxious.

As the night falls, A Mar hears her mother praying, her little brother, likely insouciant and deep in sleep; and A Mar, however, twisting and swaying on the agitating mat and fretfully in despair.

Anxious, fussed over, vexing, upset, bothering, worried, and depressed about the future, would they all be okay? But what if they aren't? Will tomorrow night be like tonight? Will they all remain safe till the next sundown? A Mar ended her thinking with, "If we are not going to die overnight, then we can still live for another day."

And she can hear the stray's long and horrible wailing from afar, as the night grows longer and hotter.

🜋🜋🜋

SECTION 4

A dark night, the world is on fire, even the sky burning, due to the chaos war's flaming rage. Ashes to ashes, dusts to dusts, the entire area was foggy. So many individuals were in an uproar, running and screaming in pain.

No one had time to even pay attention to one another, and those who were in pain were laying on the ground without any care or assistance. Those that have a little chance of survival are fleeing to a safe location where they thought it ought to be.

“A Mar!, A Mar! RUN! RUN! Maung San Maung! RUN! RUN!”

A Mar tries to stand up with the so-called crutch, which is actually a wooden staff, but it keeps slipping. The more she tried, the more difficult it got for her even to move about, and the sirens were on with the terrible haunting sounds.

“A Mar? A Mar?”

A trembling and anxious A Mar awakens to her mother's distressing call. She had imagined that the sirens were only active in her dreams, but they were actually braying.

"A Mar, A Mar sweetheart, hurry up and grub on those bags, I think they're going to bomb on this side, we must hurry,” said anxious mum.

She was still wet and partly nude, as if she couldn't stand the heat anymore and was taking a quick bath, but there was no time for that now, since the sirens were continuously braying right towards the side of A Mar's house.

Confused and scared, A Mar quickly grubs on the bags that her hand reaches and rushes outside of the home. As she reached the front yard, she could see the dark red sky, the entire surrounding area was ashy, misty, and the night was bloody, gloomy and horrific.

Those who had taken hiding in their houses began to emerge with nervous, terrified looks.

"The south has been bombed; the next would be this side; it's on its way now, I believe," said one man, barely dressed, carrying two bags on his back. Limping A Mar tosses the bags that she was carrying and rushes back into the house.

"Mama, Mama., leave it, leave it, they said it's getting close now, we have to leave the house immediately, just leave it," A Mar urges her mother, grabs her brother's arms, and waiting her mum to take a leave together, but her mum said,

"Oh, you go quick, I follow, go, go!"

“Mama, come with us, we can’t leave you alone, we go together, come on now, leave it.,”

The awful eerie sound of the sirens suddenly resumed, and A Mar is certain that this is the final warning; now or never.

“RUN! RUN! A Mar, take your brother and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!” exclaim by mum,

“Mama, Mama, hurry! Hurry!” A Mar shout at her mum,

"Oh, my Lord! "We're going to die soon!" says mom, a plump, hot, wet, and half nude mummy lugging a bag and rushing outside, only a few paces away, there's a rabble preparing to seek refuge beneath the bunker, A Mar and her brother are waiting for their mummy to come on time.

"Ma Ma Lay!" A Mar! "You guys, hurry up!" A man from the next-door calls, A Mar was limping, carrying two bags and firmly holding her brother's arms at the same time, mother was carrying a bag on her head and slowly walking a few steps behind, but the three of them arrived at the bunker just in time.

The little backen bunker was packed, stinky, hot, muggy, and everyone had to sit shoulder to shoulder, closely and scantily. As hazy and stifling as it may be, no one has a choice or a chance to leave, nor does anybody dare to do so. A Mar is constantly taking long breaths to calm herself, and as she looks at her house, she sees the dead bringer Buffalo twins are circling above the ward where they all lived.

And then, all of a sudden, with a buzzing sound, followed by wind swooping and eventually blasting, A Mar witnessed their family's home being completely obliterated. The old building went up in flames and then exploded within a minute. Nothing remained, not even a single brick or wood, everything had turned to ash and grey.

At first, A Mar tries her hardest to maintain breathing, but it gets increasingly harder as something keeps her from breathing in. As she glances over the ash plain, she loses the strength to cry or shed a tear. Should she be crying or concerned, scared or sad, expecting anything else or just sorrow, regret, or regard, her eyes are wide open and she suddenly could not move, what a life for a widow and her children, what a life for a teenager.

Mummy, too, lowered her head, and A Mar simply couldn't look her in the eyes. Little Brother was also terrified and trembling. A Mar stands and staring at the horrible views, holding on to her only support: the wooden crutch.

The reflection of the heat and flame from the blasting is blistering on the face of an eighteen-year-old, A Mar. Flushed and shining as her face, seems to make up her mind. A Mar, as tears in her eyes, lips bitten and finally decides to face the challenge of her own destiny.

🜋🜋🜋

SECTION 5

Mother Irrawaddy is slowly flowing, the weather is exceptionally pleasant even in the summer, the river is not in its former beauty, the sun did shine brightly on the silvery slow stream, yet the enduring eternally steady immortal river stands ceaselessly.

The refuge boat carrying A Mar and her family is slowly and softly ascending the river. Things have changed overnight. However, Sayamar's last farewell appears to be recent. That her family is fleeing to Sagaing in search of refuge. The home was bombed and destroyed yesterday around midnight.

Mum was in the middle of a bath when she was abruptly forced to run for her life, and she can't even put on appropriate clothing. The next morning, when everything seemed calmer, A Mar and Mum walked to the burned field where their home formerly stood, hoping to find anything worthwhile that hadn't been caught in the fire, but there was nothing but ashes. Everything has lost and been destroyed.

Mummy's bags that she carried from yesterday included a textbook that A Mar was going to save, some clothes, some handcrafted flowers that can be worn as hair accessories, and a pair of new velvet slippers.

When they opened all the bags they had carried and saved from the past nights, they found nothing of value except the scales and weight stone that Mummy stated she would use to work out a plan in case of need.

When the locals say they're all going to Sagaing to get some shelter and invite Mum to join them, Mum looks at A Mar with concern and bafflement. She didn't have anything to wear; the clothes they had saved were mostly for A Mar and her brother; while her mum was big and chubby, A Mar was a small and bony young girl.

Mummy is not going to fit into A Mar's clothes. However, they were fortunate to get a man's coat. Mummy has really no choice but to wear it because they are embarking on a long journey ahead.

Because of Sayarma's encouragement, both A Mar and her mother chose to proceed on the trip; she did say that if something went wrong, she would be at Sagaing, Vepula Sanctuary. And they have no choice but to accept it.

The earthy aroma of a summer wind was softly wafting over the river, clear blue sky, and the sun was hidden behind a fluffy cloud. Nature is always fascinating in many ways, and as A Mar gazed out over the plain, she missed her house, a home that her father had built for her, a home that provided her with shelter and security, a place that gave her hope and bravery, strength and sense.

Then she recalls the present and feels alone and lost, forlorn and helpless, weak and powerless. A Mar is on the verge of crying. She wishes to weep. She thought about sobbing, and she wondered whether it would help her. Would it?

Sudden changes in life reset A Mar's life's starting point to zero; she has nothing left, which to start or continue; how is a girl like A Mar going to survive or be able to live; how is a girl like A Mar going to go on her life without any steadfast point and withstand the hardships?

She was a medical student, but how can she be a doctor in this situation? A war is raging, her house has been destroyed, and she has nothing left. She's not even sure if the school exists anymore.

Everyone on the boat are quietly resting in their own thoughts and gazing their own certain views, some asleep, some are crooning, some elderly are chanting sutra, some able man are softly speaking, then some noise came from the top of the boat, slowly and swiftly, body of the unfortunate were floating along the river and some even hit with the bottom head of the boat, one by one, everyone who seeing this, became annoyed and distest, as the body were cover around the boat, it became smell, loathsome odour, some elderly are ticking their tongue and murmuring some prayer for the souls along the river.

"I think they've been taken by the twin, what a loss, what a view," says one senior.Witnessing an account such as this is quite common, sinking boat and scathe by bombing is unsurprising, in war anything bad that can or cannot be imagined will and would happen, that's for sure, A Mar knew it too, firsthand experience is difficult, but it will become accustomed naturally.

A bizarre and strangely familiar sight caught her attention, a rotting body of a lady, the face of which was unrecognisable, and the hair was a mess, tangling with moss and gooey junks. A Mar immediately turned her face away from it, supposing that the lady she had just seen was almost identical to Sayarma and erroneously running away with that assumption for a while.

"It can't be, Sayarma will be fine, she'll be there safe and sound,"

A Mar thinks to herself. But not convincingly, and she simply shut her eyes away from everything for a while.

"Oh Lord, I beseech thee to give me the strength to keep on," A Mar continues to pray, the picture of the woman's body still fresh in her memory. Then a tiny transport boat drifted downstream towards the boat they were all aboard.

"I'm assuming you're on your way up?" Is it going to Sagaing? Turn back, it's not safe; all the boats headed there were shot yesterday, you know, all dead now," says one gentleman from the transport, who seemed to be speaking genuinely.

The others in the drifting boat affirm the acclaim by nodding their heads. With their advice and warning, the trip to seek sanctuary in Sagaing is over for good. A Mar has no choice but to accept the fact that she would never see her life saviour Sayarma again.

For a time, A Mar's head was filled with Sayarma's last departing words,

“Nobody knows what will happen in the future, so focusing on survival is vital; if you do that, you will get Over it.",”

A Mar's life would indeed be challenging, just like the direction lost boat upstreaming.

🜋🜋🜋

SECTION 6

Adaptability and amenability are the greatest ways to deal with a changing situation. Dissatisfaction or quandary can exacerbate or double the difficulty, but a strong person never wavers or dithers; no matter how difficult the situation, one can always settle it with decisiveness and strictness. When the journey to find a refuge in Sagaing was over, A Mar had already given up hope, but her mommy, as bold as she was, swiftly decided something else, that they are taking a different route .There weren't many alternatives left, but she did have one more option.

A Mar's mother finally decided to seek refuge to her relatives in Pwint Phyu. One can always hope.

Before going to Yangon to study, A Mar and her brother used to play and swim in the Irrawaddy River every evening, and it was always fun and wonderful. But then, seeing the river that was once joyful, has become nostalgic, horrible, startling, and unsettling. Mother Irrawaddy, just like everyone else, had become a victim of the war.

One can always feel comfort when things are impacting people differently, but when things are affecting everyone the same way, no matter how hard one thinks and comforts oneself, one will not be able to feel well. In the thick of a catastrophe, everyone has their own misery and dismay, problems and entanglements; no one is well, fine, or at ease. Everyone has their own load of loss, sadness, and tragedy, which can never be forgotten or even forgiven.

After all of the grief and loss, A Mar realised that nothing is more important than family. In the thick of such hardship, one must remain with family no matter what; everyone must face the catastrophe to the greatest extent possible. As she pondered it, she held her little brother securely and gathered all of their belongings close to them.Three of them are back on the sampan and on their way to Pwint Phyu, filled with hope.

“Sambuddhe Atthavisanca., Dasasanca Sahasake, Namami Sirasamaham.,” Mummy is chanting the same Gatha over and over, appealing to the Lord for sake of the trip's security; one of the fellow passengers on the sampan was a woman who was hit by the bomb and had her leg severely broken by it.

“Oh! My LORD!, OH! LORD, I am thirsty; please give me some water, OH! Lord! Please, water!"

“Oh! My My, Please, I need to have some water before it's too late; please give it to me."

“Oh! I am dying! I am dying for sure, I know! Agony! Agony!”

“Oh! Lord, it’s hurt, it’s damn hurt!”

It is understandable when a person is mortally wounded and wailing for some comfort, but ceaseless moaning and screaming is a bit annoying to anyone who has to endure it for an unreasonable amount of time, especially when the time and situation is not convenient.

“OH! FOR THE LOVE OF OUR LORD! Please keep your voice down! We all know that you're in pain, but lady! You are outrageous! We're almost there."

Even her husband is increasingly frustrated with her and scolds her. Nobody blames him because he is right. The timing and circumstances are inconvenient; The sampan is slowly rowing in the middle of the night since no one dares to go on a trip during the day because the Japanese are all over it, and only at night do they have a chance of safety. The Japanese are not the only threat; some bandits are usually around, ready to plunder anybody who encounters them. They don't care whether the wayfarers are poor or wealthy; they'll take anything they can get their hands on.

Regardless of the conditions, there is no alternative but to endure and continue, and even other commuters are attracting some form of unanticipated threat. As a medical student, A Mar knows that the lady wouldn't be able to survive for long, that she would die soon.

“I don’t think she is going to make it, Ma Ma Lay”, The man says to Mum, however Mum is just glaring at the man and his wife, knowing there is nothing she can do to help them, so simply disregarding him is her best reaction.

"Oh, look, she's got a hole in her back too; she's going to die!"

The lady was soaking in her own blood now, it's nearly the time, she's barely alive, suddenly she shivered and then faints, and her neck is fractured. Drop by drop, crimson blood is pouring from her eyes and nose, and everyone on the sampan is certain she's dead.

“Oh Lord!” the man is shock,

“Oh! She is no longer alive! "She's no longer alive!" Everyone on the boat is scared by the bloke's high pitch wail, and the man continues to weep as he holds the bleeding body, the blood still dripping little by little, some even forming a red stream in the bottom of the sampan.

“Shhh., man, take it easy, you are drawing attention to danger, look around man.,” says the annoyed sampan driver.

"Then what are you going to do with the body?" If she's dead, dump the body in the river; there's no way we're going to let him take the body when we can lose some weight, right? " Says one man from behind the grieving man.

"Oh no no no, this is my wife, how can I simply toss her in the river, be sensible," he says.

"Well, man, there's nothing you can do for her now, just dump her," says the driver, and everyone agrees with him, except mom, who says nothing and looks away.

“Oh! Oh, my lord! What am I going to do, how will I.... Everyone says dump her, everyone says toss her in the river! OH!”

The man is almost A Mar's father's age, and witnessing a man close to her father's age sobbing and crying makes A Mar's heart lumpy, odd, and terrible. A Mar wonders to herself, "What are those feelings I'm getting?"

The guy put her dead wife into the water slowly and steadily, and the body sank and created a crimson circle around it.

"Oh my beloved Ma Mya Yin..." said the man abruptly.

The lifeless body, called Ma Mya Yin, was left behind and slowly sank down by the water until disappearing. A Mar has had enough and closes her eyes. And Sayarma's words are reverberating in her head.

“..., survival is vital; if you do that, you will get Over it.”

🜋🜋🜋

SECTION 7

Even in the midst of chaos, hope and comfort may well be found when there is togetherness and affection. When they finally arrived in Pwint Phyu, the other relatives from Yangon came first, so there was a wonderful surprise and a great reunion for everybody, finally, some comfort in the thick of anxiety. Everything appears to be good in Pwint Phyu, aside from the threat of a random bandit raid. So, a ready and willing man from every household is required to serve on a daily rota of guard duty.

In Yangon, however, horrible; townships like Kyimyindaing and Sanchaung have been bombarded and destroyed. Some flee to the countryside, while others go to the valley and outfall. According to rumours, even strays and abandoned domestic pets are dead since no one feeds them.A Mar was clear at this point that the schools would never reopen.

Listening to the adult's war news is both frightening and fascinating, but having all cousins gather and playing around is also delightful.

Good food and excellent meals are scarce in times of war, but salt and oil are plentiful, thus classic dishes like Sisam seem to be the right fit for everyone, every time. And cooking oil is no longer an issue, since towns like Pwint Phyu produce vegetable oil locally.

The household already had a chicken coop and duck homes, so daily egg needs are no longer an issue. The house has a small yard of crop growing at the back and both sides of the property, thereby providing appropriate fruits and vegetables for everyone.

Salads of vegetables, fresh drinks, and fries are always available. The family was loaded, hence competent women like mummy, aunties, and every girl are required to help in the kitchen. It is a huge work for them to prepare daily meals for the entire family, and occasionally when the men went fishing from the river, and luckily if they got any fish, that day would be a joyous day.

Every one of the cousins is expected to go out into the woods and gather anything edible, as well as fish or hunt edible birds or animals occasionally.

However, nobody is allowed to leave the premises after 5 p.m., and everyone is expected to be quiet, as Ba Ba Kyi despises commotion. So there is always a whispering campaign or stories time from aunties and nice uncles in the evening.

A Mar and her cousins from Yangon, Ni Ni and Kyi Kyi, are all quite connected. A Mar showed Ni Ni some brooch handcrafting and hair styling skills because she adores dressing herself and grooming herself.

Because of the good materials are rare, they have to be creative in their utilisation of scrap or torn clothes. Yi Yi and Khin Ma Ma, baby cousin sisters, are so happy that they may giggle for no apparent reason; as a result of their jive, the adult needs to urge them to behave.

Kyi May scolds them like, "HEY! Shh!" or "What's the problem?" Can't you all just behave? The adults are trying to work here, mark my words, or else.``,

They all quiet down for a while, but not for long. It was hilarious when they couldn't keep their silence and burst out laughing. The lads are unlike the girls; they band together and play their own game.

A Mar was the oldest of them all, the youngster who is learning to comprehend how the world actually works and has witnessed the terror of war and the tragic loss of so many lives. A Mar is starting to believe to herself that she is maturing.

No one dares to ignite a strong light at night, and anytime the lamp is lit, all windows and doors must be closed until daybreak. Because the Kenpetai have the authority to enter the Lighted House and question everyone for treason, as well as punish everyone for being anti-Japanese.

Water is scarce in the summer, wells are almost always empty, and there is only a tiny bit of water outlet, and sand is almost always covering the area, and the water was carefully collected with the tiny raffia bucket with a long rope, so difficult to gather with the bucket and even more tough to pull up the bucket without spilling.

No one can take a bath and no one has the luxury of living hygienically, everyone suffers from skin disorders such as rushness, itching, and scabies, which are typical in wartime.

It was in a state of alarm, each side seemed to have the treat, a bandits treat, an allies force treat, primarily the British bombing, and then the worst of all, the Imperial Japances. As a consequence, the sojourn Pyint Phyu residence can no longer accommodate such a large throng, and everyone is compelled to take the other options and diverge.

🜋🜋🜋

SECTION 8

Time really flies, and the nice times spent with relatives are gradually coming to an end. The time has come for each family to go their own ways, leave the mayhem, and find refuge somewhere else better than the last.

Ba Ba Gyi prefers to return to Yangon as a plan A because he wants to check on the state of his house. If something goes wrong, he says his family would run to the Irrawaddy, where some of his other relatives are still living, hopefully safe.

The Yangon home has eight family members and was located on Zayyawaddy St. in Sanchaung. Just after rubber raided Pwint Phyu's house, it can no longer provide for all and, thus everybody had to take alternative courses.

All the relatives from different burgs, including A Mar's family, understand that they should no longer rely on Pwint Phyu, so after being rubbed, everyone knew it was time to leave.

A Mar and Mummy have already prepared to leave, and there is no place elsewhere that both A Mar and Mummy can think of, aside from the only option to choose; to seek a refuge in Sagiang, "., I will be in Vepula Sanctuary," Sayama's words are still haunting A Mar.

So she just keeps reciting it as a way of easing herself, “she will be there, she will be in Vepula Sanctuary”.

A route to Sagaing from Pwint Phyu is typically direct and easy, a port to port, one upstream ahead kind of route, but it is so difficult and so few sampans can be found in the river port, and yet no driver would fearlessly dare to embark on a lengthy upstream to Sagaing while bombing is frequent.

So, with no other options on the way, Mummy has determined that they'll just trek from village to village until they arrive in Sagaing. If they are fortunate enough to get a trek from some generous folks, the route would be shorter, unless they would all be forced to walk.

A large number of Indian refugees from Yangon were also on the same path as them, the brown indian men wore nothing but a langot around their waist.

Sick and injured, young and elderly, groaning and moaning as they go on, some unfortunate were left dead on the route, some were resting on the ground alongside the path, since they don't have enough energy to even continue on.

It was such a horrible and tragic view that no one should have seen or experienced. A frightful macabre was dancing on everyone's head, but the tragedy was far from done; they brought Cholera with them along the way. As a result, no town or village would dare to take them in, and whenever they came close, they would all be ejected.

They are unable to enter or pass many towns and villages. For them, death was always on rise; as the dead were left behind, the entire route was lined with mournful, horrifying corpses.

No townies or villages attempted to clean or cremate the remains; thus, they were infectious. The entire area where the bodies are piled became a location where everyone avoided going since it was stinky, reeked and infectious.

It eventually infects the nearby villagers, then the townspeople, and finally the cities. It became an epidemic, which was dreadful and horrific.

Hundreds and thousands of Indian evacuees begin their trek at Pyi, cross the river, and go up the Arakan Alps, travelling through mountainous terrain to reach their destination and enter India.

Some died on the route to India as a result of the pandemic, while others were left behind due to starvation and wild attacks.

The hackney trek that A Mar's family was on from Pwint Phyu had arrived and dropped them near the entrance of a remote village surrounded by fields and woods. Normally, the field bump would be crowded with cowboys and girls playing under the shady acacia and keeping an eye on the herds in the fields. Or some gathering girls who would collect water cress and edible greens along the fields' corners and paths.

But everything seems odd, it's all quiet and dry. There is no trace of anyone or anything that is alive nearby. A Mar's family was part of a travelling party of twelve people. Everyone in the group, young and old, is exhausted and mentally drained.

"Anyway, I believe we need to find somewhere to stay tonight since Maung San Maung seems to have a cold. We need a place to rest, A Mar?" says mummy,A Mar's younger brother appears sick, slowly pacing the step of mum, and he appears terribly pale, as if he can no longer move. A Mar placed her palm on her brother's forehead; it was scorching hot. He is gravely sick.

"If we find a rest house or any place that could be a lodge, along the way, Ma Ma, I think we have to stay there no matter what," Most of the companion travellers are also dreadfully drained; all of them appear unwell or sick.

Just like Maung San Maung, the other two children with them as well, sickened by tiredness. A Mar hoped so, she prayed in her mind that all the children are sick not because of any cause but overtiredness.

They arrived somewhere near the village's cemetery, which can be seen from a distance. A typical midland cemetery always contains a resting house or little lodging, as well as a stand pot with cool water to drink.

It is impossible to anticipate medical supplies or rations, but at the very least, some drinking water would be quite useful. A Mar wondered whether she might find some cold water to use as a cooling cloth to help her brother's fever.

The cemetery was desolate when they arrived, with the terrible odour of the corpses all over it. A Mar thought to herself that it could just be a dead body abandoned by the others, no more than one. Then a swarm of black flies swooped straight over them, carrying the foulest odour of all.

They all witnessed the corpses, not just one, but four or five of them, langot's Indians piling on top of each other. Some belongings remain on their side; no one wants to take them, and no one dares to risk it as well.

Some filthy bags were hanging on the resting place, some disgusting clothing were strewn about, utensils and farming implements such as a pickaxe, rake, hoe, sickle, and shovel were broken and split, and nothing important was around.

Some Indian labourers from Yangon, such as coolies, rickshaw pullers, jobbers, dustmen, hucksters, and hawkers, are fleeing to Bangladesh via Pyi-Pandaung-Taung Goat route. Since their previous lords and employers; British were left as soon as the war began, and they, too, have no choice but to flee by any means possible; some are fortunate enough to be aboard the train, some may be fortunate enough to be in the bus, others are among the boat, but the hundreds and thousands of unfortunate have had to walk for a very long route, until they get there, at the border of India and Burma. It was a long and difficult journey for them, filled with danger, agony, despair, and even death.

It was a dry summer, so pox was rampant; the corpses were abandoned because they left behind or died from some sort of disease. As they all proceed into the village, it appears to be empty as well, with no man or living being seen, with the revolting scent of corpses pervading the village square, and they are all convinced that this village, too, is entirely desolated. This sort of situation can only be caused by an epidemic.

"Ma Ma?" an anxious A Mar says to her mum, “What are we going to do now?”Mum did not reply straight away; instead, she checked on Maung San Maung and she put her palm on his forehead.

"Maung San Maung is terribly ill, A Mar! we need a place to rest, he really needs some rest, I think we have to choose a house and must stay in there for a while until he is recovered, there might be some sort of rice pot or salt or something eatable left or not, who knows, but hurry, I don't think your brother can bare it any longer." says mum, A Mar looked at her brother and reply,

"Are you sure Ma Ma, I don't think staying here is safe for him, you know, the dead, the corpses, and the risks.... it might make things even worse", Mum nodded, but her looks indicated that she was certain of something.

🜋🜋🜋

SECTION 9

Every deep breath was agonising, from nostril to lung, torturous, tedious, and fierce. She has to endure the throbbing, stabbing, stinging, gashing agony from both the back and the chest whenever she exhales. It's the most excruciating torment, but there are no tears left to even weep or cry. Not a single tear had fallen from either eye. It's dried up.

She lost her mind and wandered aimlessly in the scorching heat of the midlands, barefoot. No heat can be greater than the unease inside A Mar's heart, no matter how scorching the sun is or how hot the midland weather is. If the unease in her heart blazed like flame, the entire world would've been engulfed by fire right now.

Two days ago, they arrived at a desolate village strewn with decaying corpses, and fortunately, they found a place to stay. But, as fortunate as they were, Maung San Maung was not; once they settled, he became even worse. He was sick the entire night and had pox all over his body the following morning.

All of the other travellers have departed, just as they learn that Maung San Maung has got pox. Both A Mar and Mum seemed to have no idea how to help him; there was no medication, so water sponging was the last and least they could do. There was no one else in the village except them.

Both A Mar and Mum are well aware that Maung San Maung would not be able to fully recover, but they do everything they can to save the boy. As time passed, they realised there was no chance for the boy, and it was as if they were watching him die slowly.

Yes, the prior night was terrifying for them, haunting and scary. All night, strange shapes and creatures-like movement occurred. It was worse when the stray yowled. Maung San Maung becomes increasingly agitated as the barking and screaming grows. Under the dim light, Mum was chanting the Sambuddhe Gatha vigorously. A Mar prayed on her own as well, although she sometimes fell down and then awoke from a sudden shock.

“A Mar, A Mar! Get up!”

Mum shook A Mar's shoulder, which immediately woke her up. When A Mar completely opened her eyes, she saw that her brother was wrapped in a blanket with a veil over his face,

"He's gone; your brother is no longer alive, A Mar." Mum gasped and sobbing as she spoke.

"No, Ma Ma, don't cry, don't, let him move on without uneasiness," A Mar told her, but she says,

"I don't think he'll go; I know him; how am I going to make a dead mass for him? I won't be able to make him an offering mass either... Oh, my Lord!" A Mar, like Mummy, can't stop crying as she beats her own heart. When A Mar thinks of the aftermath, that they have no choice but to leave her brother's corpses, she can no longer sit still, and gradually her heart begins to choke and rivet with sorrow.

It was war, all because of the WAR, the abhorrent, disgusting, detestable, terrifying, and awful WAR that made the lives of so many family members, siblings, and loved ones miserable, harsh, and terrible. It has affected everyone, not just one person or one family. A Mar has lost so many, yet when she looks at her mother, she strengthens herself with a thought. That her mother is still alive, and she is the only one A Mar must care for and be concerned with, regardless of the challenges ahead.

With a thought like that, A Mar is encouraged to hug her mother tightly. And she did. A changed mum, too, finally embraces her one and only daughter and says,

"Oh, A Mar, it's only two of us left!"

'Oh, Ma Ma, we still have each other," A Mar replied to her intentionally. Yes, they still have each other. Mum, on the other hand, was looking at A Mar with confused looks. While Mummy grabs some leftover food, A Mar wipes her face and begins packing. The time for grieving has passed; now is the time to move on.

After everything was ready, Mum looked at Maung San Maung's body for the last time and said her final goodbyes to him.

"Goodbye, sweetie, Mummy is leaving; don't worry, Mummy will be OK, just as you are.”

A Mar takes a step back, bracing herself for what's to unfold. Mummy was still sobbing as they slowly walked, and the heat was becoming even more scorching.

As she moves further from her brother, she starts to reach a state of realisation. Now that she has no ones but her mother alone, makes her realise that they both must take care of each other and without each other, there will be no chances or ways to even survive or thrive on to live for. She vows to herself;

"I pray that I will be a good daughter to my mother."

🜋🜋🜋