Stranger in me

Stranger in me

Amanda Cantillon

“Behind every mask there is a face, and behind that is a story.”- Sonia Zakrewksi. Every day we wear a mask to hide our true selves. Some people try to cover up their ugly traits and put on a happy front. Others act in certain ways that society states are correct, and proper. Everyone has two sides; one that they display openly to others and one they keep hidden deep inside that are afraid to display. In the story, “In Plato's Closet” written by Susan Sontag the author explains how photos only reflect parts of the truth and leave the rest uncertain. I personally have two sides; one that individuals may see through a typical picture of myself and my individual self-portrait that displays all my imperfections. Both images reflect similarities and differences of my personality.

“Anyone who has common sense will remember that the bewilderment of the eyes are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light” ― Plato, The Allegory of the Cave. A major focus in Plato’s allegory of the cave is that us humans tend not to understand the true reality of our world. We think that we understand what we are looking at, but we are just perceiving shadows of the true forms of the materials that make up our world. This is just how people are perceived through a selfie. People portray themselves in a certain way in front of others to be accepted into society. People are seen from two different eyes; one they show and one they hide. In the photo of myself, I am happy and having a great time. Someone who examines the photo cannot tell what I am truly dealing with on the inside. They see a young woman living an ordinary life that consists of hanging out with friends. People tend to cover up their feelings. The image of me communicates to others how I look from the outside. A person cannot understand the true reality of my world. No one can tell by looking at the photo that moments before the picture was taken, I was crying. People take photos of themselves to impress others and to feel confident and pretty, not to share their ugly side.

A self-portrait is a picture you make of yourself where you remove the mask that you put on while taking that selfie. You show others something they never knew about you. Sonia Zakrewksi mentioned how everyone makes a mask to hide their story. In my self-portrait I displayed my true self by taking the mask off and displaying the true me. Every day of my life I struggle with extreme anxiety. I wear makeup, dress fashionable and style my hair to help me build my self-confidence and mask the anxiety that takes over my life. Without being able to feel confident and seeking outside counseling I would let my anxiety take over my whole life. I struggle occasionally to get out of bed in the morning worried that my anxiety will get the best of me until I remind myself that it is a fresh beginning. In the past my anxiety made me struggle to speak in front of audiences. I would become so nervous that I would shake, feel sick to my stomach and begin to feel clammy. Over the years I have worked on strategies to cope with my anxiety and fears to speak in public and feel more confident in my abilities. Anxiety is a struggle for me daily, but I do not want to anxiety to define who I am. I choose to hide my anxiety struggles from society and friends since that part of my life is not always greeted with open arms and that image of myself is not what individuals want to see.

There are similarities and differences between my selfie and my self-portrait. First, both are photos of myself. One of them being a mask I put on in front of others and the other shows what really is happening on the inside. In the story, “In Plato's Caves” the author addresses that photographs become “pieces of the world,” but they are also just simply small interpretations of it. In the end, the photographer’s decisions can change the whole context of the image being captured. One selfie can turn into a meaningful self-portrait. A selfie is just one interpretation of a person's life and may disguise the struggles they may be experiencing. A self-portrait can change the whole message behind that photo and change viewers opinions about themselves and others. An unmasked photo allows for people to realize they do not have to be perfect and they can be free to express their true colors. Society will always judge, but you must have the courage and strength to realize that you are a great individual and perfect just the way you are.

Photos are forms of expressions and interpretations of an artist’s reality. We take photographs to capture moments, remember the past, and influence the future. Photos hide what is really going on in the present. Susan Sontag explained in her story that photos only show the world as part of a whole, only showing one perception. An individual can also see the reality in photos, such as in self-portraits. I like so many others have two sides, one that an individual may see through a picture of myself and one where they can see what is really going on inside.