Let's Talk About Sex

It’s Sexual Health month, and as your health care team in USC Student Health, we’d like you to know that we support all our USC students in expressing their adult sexual identities; pursuing mutually satisfying intimate partner relationships and sexual expressions; owning their bodily autonomy, and having the confidence to set boundaries and advocate for their needs—for privacy, care, help, the space to say no, or make decisions at a later time.

What does this mean for the typical college student? Sharing some of our own stories in providing care might shed some light on what many students experience. Three of our providers recently sat down to talk about sex, pleasure, and health; the following is a condensed excerpt.

Mildred Wenger: Many of our patients are adapting to being on their own. It can be a little nerve-wracking to navigate health care as a beginner. Most undergraduates will go straight from seeing a pediatrician with a parent, to suddenly handling appointments, referrals, prescriptions, insurance, etc. on their own. Answering questions about your symptoms, practices, and concerns, especially when it comes to sex, can be a completely new experience.

Kimberly Tilley: Yes, that’s so true, and many people of all ages, not just college students, can feel embarrassed or anxious about being “judged” for their decisions. But clinical screening questions are really only about getting enough information to be able to make recommendations for the patient’s care. We know no one makes perfect health care decisions, not even people who work in health care—we’re no exception!

Debbie Schleicher: It’s also not uncommon for people to be carrying hesitancy from previous experiences, or self-blame or self-doubt. “Did I do something wrong?” Sometimes people who have survived assault, or are in a coercive relationship, can have negative self-talk—they can feel like they don’t “deserve” help, or minimize the hurt they experience.

Mildred Wenger: And at the end of the day, we just want students to get the care they need.

Debbie Schleicher: And to be able to ask questions—we get a lot of questions about sex and relationships, and that’s really a good thing. They can call to talk to an advocate, or if they would rather communicate online, they can send a secure message to an advocate in MySHR, which for some students may feel more private than talking out loud on the phone.

Kimberly Tilley: Questions are the key! It’s so important for people to have accurate and reliable information, about things like birth control, STI prevention and testing, condom use and other barrier use. And we want to normalize discussion around sex—that self-directed STI testing is available and is the perfect option for people who want the testing, but don’t want to have a provider visit; that long-acting contraceptives, emergency contraception, pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP), and medication abortion are all options that are available, right here on the campuses. Sex is a natural part of adulthood, and pleasure, feeling loved, or just appreciated and admired, is a regular part of growing into adulthood.

Debbie Schleicher: Pleasure and being loved are such strong motivators. It can work in amazing positive ways, especially for young people when they are just starting to “own” their sexual citizenship. Really feeling the sense that you are empowered to make choices helps cement a sense of identity, which in a lot of ways is what the college years is about.

Mildred Wenger: You’re putting the “sensual” in “consensual.”

Debbie Schleicher: That’s the idea! The more a person is aware of a partner’s pleasures and boundaries, the better the sexual relationship is. Every person should feel empowered to tell their partner when they are starting to feel uncomfortable, or pressured, into going physically further then they really want to be. It’s your body, you have choices, and you absolutely have the right to set limits in intimacy.

Kimberly Tilley: And when someone is more comfortable with the idea of talking about sex, the more likely it is that they can move aside any pre-existing ideas of shame or embarrassment, and really get the information and prevention services that can help them stay healthier.

Mildred Wenger: That’s the hope!

Mildred Wenger, MD, and Kimberly Tilley, MD are the co-medical directors of USC Student Health. Debbie Schleicher, PsyD, is the Assistant Director for Outreach in Relationship and Sexual Violence Prevention and Services, USC Student Health.

“Sex Week” 2022 at USC begins on October 17 – visit calendar.usc.edu/sexweek for a listing of virtual and live events hosted by USG, GSG, and WYSE for USC students.