C.Q.CALMA - ePortfolio - Assignment 6

Starting through the course, I wasn't sure if I was in the right mindset to be worthy of being in the class. Everyone seemed enthusiastic and purposeful. I also am to an extent, but as I discovered them through their e-portfolios, they had the passion I didn't have and I felt bad because I believe that this is a field that truly deserves to be better seen and appreciated than what I had at the moment. My relationship with photography over the years was merely built on pure sentimentality, it was largely about immortalizing moments with not many brain cells working on technicality, and if there really was, it was as simple as changing the angles, brightness, focus (basically anything you can click and interact with in the actual camera screen as you take a photo), and exploring filters.

Soon, we worked on our first assignment and it helped me reflect on what I had at the get-go, what I feel about it, and what I want to delve into moving forward. I remember having a hard time trying to describe the photos I had taken because I literally had no idea about anything technical-wise. Nevertheless, I became aware of my position and was able to have a clear idea of my goal which was to emanate a professional vibe in my photos grounded on well-informed intentions and actions while maximizing the resources I have. Adding to that is the goal of a seemingly far-fetched story-telling shot inspired by the diverse outputs I was able to encounter during our second assignment as I was able to immerse myself in the different ways a moment can be captured and presented. Sometimes, there's more to it but at times, all you need is to look at the picture to know what it means. I want to achieve the latter.

Right now, there's still a lot for me to discover myself, but looking back, I definitely have learned something. Recently, my sister went home after quite some time for the elections. She's also interested in photography but she never really got the chance to delve and focus on it because she doesn't have a decent camera (according to her), plus she's too occupied with work most days of the week. I showed her some of the photos I took from the class and shared what I learned about the exposure triangle. From that moment forward, I felt glad and proud of myself because she seemed to have understood it. Although I am no pro myself and would still take too long trying to manually adjust almost everything before a single picture could be taken, it was another moment of gratitude for everything in and about the course for equipping me with enough knowledge to put myself out there.

THE MAD HUNTER

Surviving the unfamiliar jungle

With all that being said, I chose this picture because I feel like it is able to illustrate what I have in mind and my overall journey in the course. I call it The Mad Hunter. The idea was inspired by Alice in Wonderland which reminded me of the Cheshire Cat, Mad Hatter, and the spiral-looking elements within like movies. It depicts my cat Aerosmith in a seemingly deranged manner, caught while she was tilting/spinning her head, resulting in a spiral motion blur that complements the title. It illustrates my course experience as an unfamiliar jungle where you leave disoriented of some sort (head) but you've got parts of your chosen path figured out somehow (body towards a clear direction). It's a jungle where you learn and adapt, but the survival of the fittest doesn't mean we eliminate each other as the way of life but rather showcase each other's distinct ways of doing so (living). There's a notable hierarchy, and we're free to explore, look at each other's work and learn from them, similarly, they can learn from us, and together we build on our takeaways as the journey gradually fleets with time.

One of my most cherished moments in this course was our last face-to-face session held last April 29. As a student who's barely noticed out of choice because I'm not much of a fan of being the center of attention, I genuinely admired those students who communicate with their advisers, teachers, or FICs with almost to no tension. Whenever I imagine myself in the same position, I don't think I'll feel like I'm still being respectful because I'm not sure how exactly that happens, but throughout high school, I wanted to have a similar bond where you can just talk to your teacher straight up about almost anything. So, when I had the chance to show my work and got recognized by the FIC, I was moved and deeply appreciative. It's probably normal for some, but for me who can barely find the courage to speak to anyone, having a successful interaction like that is like completing a fulfilling quest I've been running away from since forever. Moreover, I was able to hang out with a few of my coursemates after whom I'll always be thankful for.

Surely, one of my key takeaways would be photography is something we can enjoy together. At first, I was mostly focused on myself, what mattered to me, what I enjoyed taking photos of and if they were any satisfactory to me, me alone. I understood the joy behind taking these pictures whose spark only I saw and wouldn't get over smiling at whenever I saw it. But there's also a certain joy to be experienced when you share it with other people, from the process to reviewing the shots, and I'm glad to have experienced it through the course. Aside from the technical stuff like how the exposure triangle particularly stood out to me, finding the significance in criticism is one of my most important takeaways in the course, particularly when you're faced with it as the receiver. Undeniably, it can make you feel bad about yourself and I tend to succumb/get stuck on these negative thoughts for a while and forget why exactly it happens. Looking back on my experience, I am reminded of how essential it is to improve. Indeed, it can make you feel discouraged or frustrated but for me, I feel like it's also one of the ways we show that we value what we do and why we continue. The significant impact of changing how I look at things became more evident during our self-portraiture assignment, where the good things deserve as much spotlight as the bad ones, it's about seeing the importance of both as you move forward.

Beyond the technical, MMS 173 becomes a chapter of valuable reflection and learning which has inevitably broadened my approach not only towards photography but also in life,

and I thank you.

In all seriousness, I've had my ups and downs in the course but I know I'm walking out of this once unfamiliar jungle forever grateful for everyone and everything in it. Thank you, really.