C.Q.CALMA - ePortfolio - Assignment 5

Coming across this assignment, I was sure to pick the other. Apart from my history of dreadful pictures, the anxiety of being a subject of attention didn’t suit me well, I’d rather take pictures than be taken pictures of, especially those taken using the back camera. So, as much as first impressions allow, this assignment was basically me facing my fears.

INSPIRATION
Ethereal, Dreamy, and Nostalgic

With that being said, I wanted to make the most out of the activity and went for concepts I feel passionate about, particularly those described as ethereal, dreamy, and nostalgic, which I perceived the following inspirations possessed.

NewJeans Haerin via NewJeans Facebook account

UNIS Elisia via UNIS offcl Facebook account

UNIS Yoona via UNIS offcl Facebook account

EXECUTION
ACT like it, LOOK like it

In general, I did my best to embody these themes in two ways, first, is acting like it and second, by looking like it. Acting like it is making sure my body language and most importantly, overall expression screams or contributes to the theme as much as possible. On the other hand, looking like it refers to post-processing if needed to achieve a particular effect essential to the theme.

CANDID SHOT
Contempt

This shot was taken during the afternoon when the sunset’s rays conveniently hit the building's windows in an aesthetic manner. Considering the vivid natural light, the parameters used were deemed reasonable without compromising detail and risking overexposure.

Although possible, I didn’t think it needed any post-processing because aside from the initial themes, I had planned to name this shot ‘Contempt’, describing a persisting sentiment I have towards myself. The unruly and serious, almost glaring judgmental look with the warm aesthetic background heightened and complemented these themes indefinitely from my perspective.

HEADSHOT
Pity

DINING AREA | Redmi Note 13, Xiaomi | May 7, 2025 | f/1.7 | 1s | ISO50 | 5.31mm (Equivalent focal length 24mm) | No flash

Makeup | Supposedly to make me look like I cried

Actual setup | Camera to be placed beside the blue bottle | Other phone for reflecting the other's screen

Contrary to the other, this photo was taken during the morning, just after the sun had fully risen. Whilst it provided an ambient light, our ceiling light remains the most significant, allowing for shadows to occur, increasing detail through texture. However, as I had the ISO at its lowest, it meant I had to compromise at some parts, which at some point I did with shutter speed, setting it at 2 seconds. However, this made some parts of my pictures blurred, and I eventually had to set it at 1 second which in turn had drastic effects on exposure, making the end photos considerably dark, especially my face. Eventually, I decided to prioritize details from which post-processing came into play.

I intentionally adjusted these parameters because I believed they could help bring forth what I wanted to successfully manifest. Increased exposure was non-negotiable because it was bound to be lost with my chosen values for camera settings. Brightness referred to luminance while Lightness for value helped lift both the subject and environment by making them more visible. Contrast was reduced to its maximum to limit saturation, while Highlights emphasized some key areas which induced a much more suitable contrast.

Hesitant at first, using filters was an unexpected move, but it had the most potential to elevate the photo closer to its themes. I assume that the dark mist filter imitates a black mist filter whose effects add an ethereal glow around light sources, making the overall photo softer.

REFLECTION
Thoughts concluded

Contempt reflects a hatred towards oneself, the things I don’t like and am not fond of. It looks at me with eyes that tell me why I should keep moving forward.

I’m not near good enough yet.

As bad as it sounds, these negative feelings push me forward, knowing there’s still much to improve, achieve, and explore in life. But as Pity suggests, criticism is important, but so is taking care of yourself and recognizing the efforts you’ve made so far. It’s looking back and appreciating what's been done and has become.

Don’t be too harsh on yourself.

And as one of my favorite characters said, “Being weak is nothing to be ashamed of, staying weak is!” Limits are temporary setbacks that I constantly encounter, whether it’s in perspective or skills. At first, I didn’t think I would be able to push through with this assignment, thinking there's no way I’d be able to accept myself in any of those photos no matter what anyone says. But walking away from this experience knowing at some point it became possible for me to do so, makes me realize just how much of an enemy we can make out of ourselves, how much a change of mind can influence our perspectives, and how much an experience becomes a lesson.

Technical-wise, I feel bad I had to use so much post-processing for the headshot because I feel like it undermined the very purpose of learning the fundamentals, but I also realized how holistically I was able to learn and approach it by going through not only my inner-self but also two other different experiences (no post-processing vs. heavy post-processing).

It was challenging, but I’d also like to see it as the valuable learning experience that it is. Similarly, I hate myself but I acknowledge my efforts, because at the end of the day,

it might just be us against ourselves and our own standards, think about it.