Summary:
Homer is trying to stop swearing, so to break the habit he has to put money in a jar every time he says a bad word.
Transcript
[At church, Homer puts a twenty-dollar bill in the collection plate without realizing]
Bart: [whispers] Homer, that was a twenty.
Homer: Da --
[Homer drops a few coins into the swear jar. Next, he's at the bowling alley, where he nearly bowls a strike, but the last pin won't go down]
Homer: [stutters twice] Oh, you son of a --
[Homer drops more coins into the swear jar. Then, he's taking out the trash when a clean-shaven Ned Flanders comes up to him]
Ned: [cheerful] Hey, hey, Homer! You know, I owe you one, buddy! No sooner had I shaved off the old cookie-duster than a lady cast me in a commercial! [goes to his mailbox] I tell you, the way these checks keep coming in, it's almost criminal!
Homer: [angrily] You dirty bas--
[Homer puts more coins into the swear jar. Then, Homer completes a very poorly-built doghouse with no entrance]
Homer: What do you think, Lisa?
Lisa: How's the dog supposed to get in?
Homer: Well, he just goes... [realizes] Aww--
[Homer puts more coins into the swear jar. Next, Homer is napping in his hammock when a beehive falls onto his stomach. He wakes up and screams, then his bee-sting-covered hand drops even more coins into the nearly-full swear jar. Finally, Homer is in the backyard nailing two wooden boards together when he accidentally hits his thumb with the hammer]
Homer: AH!...oh, fudge. That's...broken. [steps on a nail] Fiddle-dee-dee! That will require a tetanus shot. I'm not going to swear...but I am going to [gets angry] KICK THIS DOGHOUSE DOWN! [starts kicking the doghouse]
[Lisa and Marge walk up to Homer. Lisa is pulling a red wagon with a doghouse on it]
Lisa: Dad, this is not a commentary on your skills, but we bought you a new doghouse.
Homer: Where'd you get the money?
Marge: Well, there was more than enough in the swear jar, and if you look inside the doghouse, there's a little surprise.
[Homer looks inside. Maggie emerges from the doghouse]
Homer: [disappointedly] Maggie, oh, cute.
Marge: No! Behind her!
[Homer reaches in the doghouse and pulls out a six-pack of bottled beer]
Homer: [surprised gasp] Beer! How did you know?!
Idioms and vocab:
break the habit-- To stop doing something that you do all of the time, usually because it's something that is bad for you
that was a twenty-- Referring to the denomination of paper money
I owe you one-- A way of saying "thank you". It means "I owe you a favor because you did something nice for me."
cookie-duster-- Slang term meaning "mustache"
fiddle-dee-dee-- A nonsense phrase. It can be used to express impatience, disbelief, or scorn.
tetanus shot -- a vaccine for a bacterial infection. In American English, an injection for medical purposes is often called a "shot". In British English, it is more commonly referred to as a "jab".
Reductions:
Homer pronounces "What do you think, Lisa?" as "Whaddya think, Lisa?". Lisa replies with "How is the dog supposed to get in?" but reduces "how is" to "how's". Reducing "is" is very common in American English.
Lisa pronounces "bought you" as "boughtchu". A "ch" sound is often inserted between two words when the first word ends in a "t" sound and the next word begins with a "y" sound.
Homer pronounces "Where did you get the money?" as "Where'd you get the money?" This is another common reduction of the past tense of "do".
Using Euphemisms in Place of Swear Words:
When Homer gets angry but is trying to not swear, he uses everyday words or expressions instead. For example, he says "fudge" and "fiddle-dee-dee", which are not offensive words, instead of using swears. These are called euphemisms (or, less commonly, minced oaths). It is common for English speakers to use euphemisms instead of swears in situations in which it would be inappropriate or rude to swear. For example, someone might say "Darn!" or "Dang it!" when they are angry or frustrated, but don't want to swear.
Now you practice:
What other suggestions do you have for Homer to break his bad habit of swearing besides putting money in a swear jar? Use modal verbs such as "He could..." or "He should..." to give your suggestions. If you know of any words or phrases that he could say instead of swearing, be sure to mention them.
Email your response to jpenna@udel.edu for this week's Simpson's practice.