As a Peer Educator, active listening will play an extremely critical role as you set out to engage with peers to talk about the resources offered by The Hub. Active listening is the act of fully hearing and comprehending the meaning of what someone is saying. While this may seem like a fairly simple skill to have, listening actively can actually take some effort to do. Improving your basic listening skills to listen more actively will help you to increase productivity as well as your ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. Plus, you'll be more likely to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings. In this module, you will learn about ways you can work toward active listening through the acronym OARS, which stands for Open-ended questions, Affirmation, Reflective listening, and Summary reflections.
Ask open-ended questions. Stray away from questions that will yield a yes or no answer and ask questions that use who, what, when, where, why, and how. Additionally, keep the questions broad so that it feels like an invitation to the person you are asking to tell their story without being too direct.
For example, imagine that someone approaches you and reveals that they are houseless. You may want to ask them for some background information to better direct them to the proper resources.
Instead of asking... Has this been going on for a long time?
Ask... How long has this been going on?
Instead of asking... Do you need financial support?
Ask... How can I help you with this? OR What kind of support do you need?
Can you see a difference? Asking open ended questions will not only prompt for a more detailed response but you are also more likely to save time in the long run by asking about their situation instead of assuming what kind of help they need.
Every so often during the confirmation, it is good to give an affirmation to the person you are speaking with. The topics we have covered in this training can be sensitive and difficult for some to admit or bring into light. Affirmations are statements and gestures that recognize strengths and acknowledge behaviors that lead in the direction of positive change, no matter how big or small. Affirmations build confidence in one’s ability to change. To be effective, affirmations must be genuine and congruent, so it is important to truly listen and have a feel for the conversation.
Some examples of affirmations you might use are...
I appreciate that you feel comfortable sharing this with me.
You've come to the right place to get help.
You handled yourself really well in that situation.
I enjoyed talking with you.
Reflective listening is a primary skill in outreach. It is the pathway for engaging others in relationships, building trust, and fostering motivation to change. Reflective listening appears easy, but it takes skill to do well. Sometimes the “skills” we use in speaking with others do not exemplify reflective listening but instead serve as roadblocks to effective communication. Examples are misinterpreting what is said or assuming what a person needs.
One way you have already been exposed to a reflective listening is by practicing reflective thinking at the end of each module in this professional development section. It is vital to learn to think reflectively. This is a way of thinking that accompanies good reflective listening. It includes interest in what the person has to say and respect for the person’s inner wisdom. Listening breakdowns occur in any of three places:
Speaker does not say what is meant
Listener does not hear correctly
Listener gives a different interpretation to what the words mean
Reflective listening is meant to close the loop in communication to ensure breakdowns don’t occur. The listener’s voice turns down at the end of a reflective listening statement. This may feel presumptuous, yet it leads to clarification and greater exploration, whereas questions tend to interrupt the client’s flow. Some people find it helpful to use some standard phrases:
So you feel…
It sounds like you…
You’re wondering if…
There are three basic levels of reflective listening that may deepen or increase the intimacy and thereby change the affective tone of an interaction. In general, the depth should match the situation. Examples of the three levels include:
Repeating or rephrasing: Listener repeats or substitutes synonyms or phrases, and stays close to what the speaker has said
Paraphrasing: Listener makes a restatement in which the speaker’s meaning is inferred
Reflection of feeling: Listener emphasizes emotional aspects of communication through feeling statements. This is the deepest form of listening.
Varying the levels of reflection is effective in listening. Also, at times there are benefits to over-stating or under-stating a reflection. An overstated reflection may cause a person to back away from their position or belief. An understated reflection may help a person to explore a deeper commitment to the position or belief.
Summaries are special applications of reflective listening. They can be used throughout a conversation but are particularly helpful at transition points. For example, after the person has spoken about a particular topic, has recounted a personal experience, or when the encounter is nearing an end.
Summarizing helps to ensure that there is clear communication between the speaker and listener. Also, it can provide a stepping stone towards change.
Structure of Summaries
1) Begin with a statement indicating you are making a summary:
Let me see if I understand so far…
Here is what I’ve heard. Tell me if I’ve missed anything.
2) Give special attention to Change Statements. These are statements made by the client that point towards a willingness to change. Miller and Rollnick (2002) have identified four types of change statements, all of which overlap significantly:
Problem recognition: “My use has gotten a little out of hand at times.”
Concern: “If I don’t stop, something bad is going to happen.”
Intent to change: “I’m going to do something, I’m just not sure what it is yet.”
Optimism: “I know I can get a handle on this problem.”
3) If the person expresses ambivalence, it is useful to include both sides in the summary statement: “On the one hand…, on the other hand…”
4) It can be useful to include information in summary statements from other sources (e.g., your own clinical knowledge, research, courts, or family).
5) Be concise.
6) End with an invitation:
Did I miss anything?
If that’s accurate, what other points are there to consider?
Anything you want to add or correct?
7) Depending on the response of the client to your summary statement, it may lead naturally to planning for or taking concrete steps towards the change goal.