Week 6

July 2, 2025- Cleansing and Preparing our Silent Mentor

This morning, I woke up at 4am to cleanse and prepare our silent mentor at 5am. The sky was pitch black, and the hospital was completely empty and silent when I arrived; it was almost unnerving given how flooded the halls usually are with patients and healthcare workers. I met with the medical students at the lab, and we began the cleansing. We put on gloves and aprons, rolled the cadavers into the washroom, then cleaned and dried the cadavers. After that, our silent mentors were rolled into a chilled room to thaw. At 7am, we had our initiation ceremony, where families were allowed to see the bodies of their relatives one last time before we began our workshops. I learned soon after that these families had not seen the bodies for over 6 months. While I was distributing flowers to the family members, I couldn't help but notice their grief-stricken faces and sympathize with their loss. 

Three different priests, representing each of the silent mentor’s religions, blessed the bodies, and the families were then allowed to see their relatives' faces one last time. My silent mentor had more than a dozen visitors crowded around her coffin, all holding onto each other and exchanging tearful words, which I could only assume were of the memories they had shared while she was still alive. Watching their reactions---especially those of my mentor's husband and daughter---brought tears to my own eyes. Even after the initiation ceremony had long ended, I noticed that the daughter could not keep her eyes away from the table where her mother lie. I made a promise to myself then that I would treat my silent mentor with the utmost care and respect in the days ahead, in honor of her generosity and sacrifice.

July 3, 2025- Cleansing/Surgical Workshops Pt. 1

This morning, I arrived at the hospital by 5am again to clean and wipe down the cadavers with disinfectant wipes. Then, we had our first round of workshops!  We had four stations for each of the four mentors, and at each station, the doctors taught us how to perform different surgical operations. Students were split into teams, led by one team leader, and all four groups rotated every 20 minutes. We first held a moment of silence for our silent mentors, then headed to our respective stations. 

During the workshops, I learned how to perform an NG tube insertion, intubation, intraosseous line insertion, and simple interrupted and continuous suturing. I was initially nervous to practice the techniques, especially since I was the only one not in medical school, but the medical students were so kind and patient with me, explaining to me each of the steps and guiding me during my suturing. I remember my hand shaking during suturing practice because I was so concentrated, but despite how slow I was at suturing/how much my hands kept trembling, the team leader gave me constructive feedback and encouraged me to continue. 

We ended the workshop by closing any open incisions, cleaning them, and covering the bodies with care. Although we took turns to independently practice the surgical procedures, teamwork was essential during the clean-up process. For example, on the team leader’s command, we would lift the body so that those standing on the other side could clean the other half. And once everyone was done cleaning their silent mentor, we split off to clean the equipment and help other teams. These workshops lasted from 5pm to 10pm, so by the time I returned to my hotel, I was completely drained. Still, the valuable insight and the new friendships I forged made it all worth it!

July 4, 2025- Cleansing/Surgical Workshops Pt. 2

Today was a continuation of yesterday's workshops, with greater focus on human anatomy. After holding a moment of silence for the mentors, my team and I headed to our first workshop, which was on composition of the human arm/hand. I got to see (and feel!) each individual muscles and tissue in a human arm/hand, and our doctor explained to us what happens for a patient with carpal tunnel. Our next station was on the genitourinary system, where we were able to see/feel the tissues and bones near the pelvic region and taught the role of surgical mesh for patients with hernia and urinary incontinence. These patients have weakened pelvic tissue and therefore need artificial support. The third station we visited was on the digestive system, and our fourth and final station was on the reproductive system. At the end of the workshops, I got to help the medical students close up the incision sites and sharpen my suturing skills :)

July 6, 2025- Closing/Cremation Ceremony 

Today marks the last day of the Silent Mentor Program---and my last day in Malaysia. At last, all of the hours spent rehearsing for the ceremony were going to come to fruition. We began the day with the closing ceremony, where each team leader gave their speech to the families and thanked them for their generosity. The coordinators then projected a recap video on the big screen, and I could no longer hold in my tears. Although I was still physically with them, I felt as though I had already left. It seemed I wasn't the only one struck with nostalgia though, since I also heard a few sniffles around me.

After the closing ceremony, we did a funeral walk to the buses, and were transported to the cremation/burial site. There, we paid our respects one final time, and bid the families farewell. In such a short amount of time, the Silent Mentor program had come to a close. To make use of all the time we had left, my silent mentor friends took me out to try some cendol (a delicious Malaysian dessert). I gave each of them handwritten notes expressing my gratitude and warm wishes, and we all exchanged bittersweet goodbyes. We all promised to stay in touch, but I'm really going to miss them :(

Final Reflections

These past 6 weeks flew by in the blink of an eye! I was initially nervous about traveling alone, but everyone at UM Medical Centre/UM has made me feel so welcomed and safe. I will be forever grateful for the experiences I've had in the Silent Mentor Program, the Malaysian Parkinson's Disease Association, and the volunteering I did with the UM Medical Centre team. The Silent Mentor Program, in particular, has helped me see death not as something to fear, but as something to approach with honesty and compassion. The lessons I’ve learned here have not only reshaped my perspective on death but will also guide me through the difficult conversations I’ll one day have as a future physician.

I'd like to thank Professor Jahanfar for facilitating this trip and assisting me in the data analysis, Prof. Wong for connecting me to different volunteering opportunities, Dr. Tan for taking me under her wing and letting me contribute to her research, Mr. Sia for giving me the opportunity to participate in the Silent Mentor Program, Ms. Sew at MPDA, and the friends (of all ages) I've made during my stay. You have all made this experience one that I will cherish for a lifetime.