There are no perfect parents, but there are plenty of things you can do that will make you a fantastic one!
Set Smart Limits
Take charge. Children crave limits, which help them understand and manage an often confusing world. Show your love by setting boundaries so your kids can explore and discover their passions safely.
Don't clip your child's wings. Your toddler's mission in life is to gain independence. So when they're developmentally capable of putting their toys away, clearing their plate from the table, and dressing themselves, let them. Giving a child responsibility is good for their self-esteem (and your sanity!).
Don't try to fix everything. Give young kids a chance to find their own solutions. When you lovingly acknowledge a child's minor frustrations without immediately rushing in to save them, you teach them self-reliance and resilience.
Remember that discipline is not punishment. Enforcing limits is really about teaching kids how to behave in the world and helping them to become competent, caring, and in control.
Pick your battles. Kids can't absorb too many rules without turning off and tuning out. Forget arguing about little stuff like fashion choices and occasional potty language. Focus on the things that really matter like no hitting, rude talk, or lying.
Create Your Own Quality Time
Play with your children. Let them choose the activity, and don't worry about rules. Just go with the flow and have fun. That's the name of the game.
Read books together every day. Get started when they're a newborn; babies love listening to the sound of their parents' voices. Cuddling up with your child and a book is a great bonding experience that will set them up for a lifetime of reading.
Schedule daily special time. Let your child choose an activity where you hang out together for 10 or 15 minutes with no interruptions. There's no better way for you to show your love.
Encourage family time. The greatest untapped resource available for improving the lives of our children is time with their parents. Kids with engaged parents do better in school, problem-solve more successfully, and generally cope better with whatever life throws at them.
Make warm memories. Your children will probably not remember all the things that you say to them, but they will recall the family rituals—like bedtimes and game night—that you do together.
Be a Good Role Model
Be the role model your children deserve. Kids learn by watching their parents. Modeling appropriate, respectful, good behavior works much better than telling them what to do.
Fess up when you blow it. This is the best way to show your child how and when they should apologize.
Live a little greener. Show your kids how easy it is to care for the environment. Waste less, recycle, reuse, and conserve each day. Spend an afternoon picking up trash around the neighborhood.
Always tell the truth. It's how you want your child to behave, right?
Kiss and hug and respect your partner in front of the kids. Your partnership is the only example your child has of what an intimate relationship looks, feels, and sounds like. So it's your job to set a great standard.
Respect parenting differences. Support your co-parent's basic approach to raising kids—unless it's way out of line. Criticizing or arguing with your partner will do more harm to your relationship and your child's sense of security than if you accept standards that are different from your own.
Know the Best Ways to Praise
Give appropriate praise. Instead of simply saying, "You're great," try to be specific about what your child did to deserve the positive feedback. You might say, "Waiting until I was off the phone to ask for cookies was hard, and I really liked your patience."
Cheer the good stuff. When you notice your child doing something helpful or nice, let them know how you feel. It's a great way to reinforce good behavior so they're more likely to keep doing it.
Gossip about your kids. Fact: What we overhear is far more potent than what we are told directly. Make praise more effective by letting your child "catch" you whispering a compliment about them to Grandma, Dad, or even their teddy.
Trust Yourself
Give yourself a break. Hitting the drive-through when you're too tired to cook doesn't make you a bad parent.
Trust your gut. No one knows your child better than you. Follow your instincts when it comes to their health and well-being. If you think something's wrong, chances are you're right.
Just say "no." Resist the urge to take on extra obligations at the office or become a constant volunteer at your child's school. You will never, ever regret spending more time with your children.
Don't accept disrespect from your child. Never allow your child to be rude or say hurtful things to you or anyone else. If they do, tell them firmly that you will not tolerate any form of disrespect.
Pass along your plan. Mobilize the other caregivers in your child's life—your co-parent, grandparents, daycare teacher, babysitter—to help reinforce the values and the behavior you want to instill. This includes everything from saying thank you and being kind to not whining.
Teach Social Skills
Ask your children three "you" questions every day. The art of conversation is an important social skill, but parents often neglect to teach it. Get a kid going with questions like, "What was your favorite part of school today?"; "What did you do at the party you went to?"; or "Where do you want to go tomorrow afternoon?"
Teach kids this bravery trick. Tell them to always notice the color of a person's eyes. Making eye contact will help a hesitant child appear more confident and will help any kid to be more assertive and less likely to be picked on.
Acknowledge your kid's strong emotions. When your child's meltdown is over, ask them, "How did that feel?" and "What do you think would make it better?" Then listen to them. They'll recover from a tantrum more easily if you let them talk it out.
Don't Stress About Dinner
Serve a food again and again. If your child rejects a new dish, don't give up hope. You may have to offer it another six, eight, or even 10 times before they eat it and truly decide whether they like it.
Avoid food fights. A healthy child instinctively knows how much to eat. If they refuse to finish whatever food is on their plate, just let it go. They won't starve.
Eat at least one meal as a family each day. Sitting down at the table together is a relaxed way for everyone to connect—a time to share happy news, talk about the day, or tell a silly joke. It also helps your kids develop healthy eating habits.
Let your kids place an order. Once a week, allow your children to choose what's for dinner and cook it for them.
Always Say "I Love You"
Love your children equally, but treat them uniquely. They're individuals.
Say "I love you" whenever you feel it, even if it's 743 times a day. You simply can not spoil a child with too many mushy words of affection and too many smooches. Not possible.
Keep in mind what grandmas always say. Children are not yours, they are only lent to you for a time. In those fleeting years, do your best to help them grow up to be good people.
Savor the moments. Yes, parenthood is the most exhausting job on the planet. Yes, your house is a mess, the laundry's piled up, and the dog needs to be walked. But your kid just laughed. Enjoy it!
Boost Brainpower & Physical Activity
Teach your baby to sign. Just because a child can't talk doesn't mean there aren't lots that they'd like to say. Simple signs can help you know what your baby needs and even how they feel well before they have the words to tell you, which is a great way to reduce frustration.
Get kids moving. The latest research shows that brain development in young children may be linked to their activity level. Place your baby on their tummy several times during the day, let your toddler walk instead of ride in their stroller, and create opportunities for your older child to get plenty of exercise. Limit screen time, and keep those kids active!
Keep Up With Your Kids' Health
Keep up to date with your children's Well Child Exams. These visits are critical in keeping kids of all ages healthy, and they also ensure that your child is growing as expected.
Protect that smile. Encouraging your kid to brush twice a day with a dab of fluoride toothpaste will guard against cavities.
Be vigilant about safety. Babyproof your home thoroughly, and never leave a child under 5 in the tub alone. Make sure car seats are installed correctly, and insist that your child wear a helmet when riding their bike or scooter.
Keep sunblock next to your kid's toothpaste. Apply it every day as part of the morning routine. It'll become as natural as brushing their teeth.
Put your baby to bed drowsy but still awake. This helps your child learn to soothe themselves to sleep and prevents bedtime problems down the line.
Know when to toilet train. Look for these two signs that your child is ready to use the potty: They sense the urge to pee and poop (this is different from knowing that they've already gone), and they ask for a diaper change.