A Single Girl’s Guide to High School Dating (Without Actually Dating)

Let’s start with the basics: I’m not here to bash guys, act bitter, or pretend like I know everything about dating. I’m not really even writing this from a “been there, done that” perspective — unless you choose to count a few confusing talking stages, an embarrassing overinvestment in a Snap streak, and one very one-sided text conversation.

But even without having a love story of my own (yet), I’ve watched enough happen around me —in hallways, on social media, and especially through secondhand stories–– to realize that something about modern dating is different. And not exactly in a good way.

We may joke about the bare minimum being so drastically different that sometimes it seems to be non-existent. This isn’t to say that this is always the case, because deep down there are a good number of people who are just searching for a connection and something meaningful. So why does it feel like we’ve all agreed to expect less?

When Effort Became Extra Credit

In today's world, you might think someone texting back within 24 hours deserves a gold star. Holding the door? Or maybe planning something special? Practically unheard of. Again, it’s not because people are incapable of being thoughtful or anything like that, but somewhere along the way, it stopped being expected.

There is a difference between attention and intention. A lot of us, I think, are realizing how often we’ve mistaken the first for the second.

Situationships and the Fear of Labels

One of the biggest shifts in modern dating is the number of relationships that are in the in-between— not quite together, but not apart either— just…talking.

It’s a place full of late-night texts, blurry expectations, and the unspoken agreement that no one should catch feelings first. We’re told to be chill, play it cool, and act unbothered. But let’s be honest — it’s not easy to be emotionally casual when you actually care. We’ve replaced vulnerability with ambiguity.

We’ve stopped talking about how we really feel because we don’t want to hear the wrong answer. Or sometimes even worse, no answer at all.

Chivalry in a New Age

There was a time—not even that long ago—when respect, effort, and follow-through were non-negotiables. Now, just being “nice” feels like a selling point.

But chivalry, in its truest form, has never been about grand gestures. It’s about showing care in small, consistent ways. Asking if you got home safe or listening, and remembering what you said. We don’t need a fairy tale. We just want to feel like someone’s showing up on purpose, not out of convenience, but out of care.

The Case for High Standards

Having high standards doesn’t mean expecting perfection. It means expecting effort, respect, and mutual emotional investment. Some might say we’re asking too much. But I think we’re just asking for what we deserve — and refusing to settle for less just because “less” has become normal.

I might not be too experienced in the field, but I know what true care feels like, and I also know what heartbreak feels like. And maybe I’m just being childish and letting my emotions take hold, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask for to have feelings be reciprocated or at least acknowledged.

Why I Still Believe in Young Love

For all the games and ghosting and half-effort connections, I still believe in love. In an honest, soft, slow-growing kind of love.

There’s something undeniably beautiful about young love — not because it’s perfect, but because it’s hopeful. Because it teaches us, changes us, and stays with us longer than we expect.

And I think that’s why we still crave the small things: someone remembering your favorite candy. Someone walking you to class. Someone choosing to show up for you, even when they don’t have to. Those things haven’t gone out of style. We’ve just stopped celebrating them.

Waiting for More, and Not Feeling Sorry About It

I know what I want, and I’m okay with waiting for it—even if that means sitting out of the chaos for now.

Dating doesn’t have to be a game. Being vulnerable doesn’t have to be a weakness. And wanting something real doesn’t make you naive—it makes you brave.

So yes, maybe chivalry isn’t entirely dead. But it’s definitely overdue for a revival.

And I’m willing to wait for someone who brings it back—even in the smallest, most quiet ways.