Ms. Reitsema

In Sweden the most significant difficulty she faces as a queer individual was being recognised as a parent. The community is very welcoming and she doesn’t feel unsafe in Stockholm, it is the legal procedures that made her feel set apart. Ms Reitsema gave birth to her daughter and her wife gave birth to their son, yet, in the eyes of Swedish law, her son is not hers until she adopts him. The adoption process involves social services visiting them, an embarrassing process for both parties. In the Netherlands, all that was required was going to the birth registration desk in the hospital after her child’s birth and documenting both of them as their child's parent. To her, Sweden is a safe space where she can take her kids to the Pride yet it feels really behind in terms of the legal system. 

Ms Reitsema has worked at SIS long enough to construct a clear opinion. She has never experienced discrimination face to face. However, she does feel like there are improvements to be made to make the queer community feel fully integrated. An example of this is when her children who go to the school had to fill in a family tree worksheet showing a mom, dad and child. Ms Reitsema questioned this, ‘Not all students have a mom and a dad, some only have one parent or two moms.’. Nonetheless, this hasn’t impacted her kids as they are told everything they want to know at a kid's level so they understand that having two moms is also normal. Although she recognises that these situations aren’t intentional, they do set people apart and identify them as an ‘other’. It is for this reason that she supports the idea of the school’s diversity being highlighted and having more than just a week or an event celebrating different groups. She envisions something routinal, like frequent gatherings, especially in the beginning of the school year, where people are comfortable talking about their experiences, cultures, and lifestyles so people realise we are all different and no one is the ‘other’. This is a discussion she finds important to start with young kids in the primary as these are ideas that impact how one grows up. She explained it as ‘just talking about feelings and identity and what makes us happy’ in a way that teaches kids that different things make us happy and it’s normal. Year-long support of the GSA rather than it being perceived as a checkbox for diversity is another way change could be implemented at SIS. 

Ms Reitsema opened up and said that at first, she didn’t want to have kids because she found it would be selfish as they would face discrimination for having queer parents, but instead, she created the most loving environment for her kids to grow up in. She sees her family as a team and recognises that everyone has a voice no matter their age. Once her interview was completed we asked her if she had any advice to give, and she said to believe and listen to your heart because people might tell you ‘it’s just a phase’ but if you know who you are you can surround yourself with the right group of people who you can share your identity with to create an open-minded community.