The Alienation of Queer People on Valentine’s Day
Anonymous
As Valentine’s Day approaches one more time, so does the heteronormative standard it brings and the exclusion of queer people from a day that should be about love. The love stories everyone is told to aspire to, the representation and advertising of this day, the gifts that couples hand each other, are all about romantic love between a cisgender man and woman. Queer people often can’t see themselves in what society tells them to celebrate on the 14th of February, feeling left out or invisible. For members of the LGBTQIA+ community, the day that should be dedicated to the celebration of love, can often become a source of alienation, loneliness, and even discrimination.
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The emphasis on heterosexual romance that is put on Valentine’s Day can often make people in same-sex relationships feel excluded. The complete lack of acknowledgement of poly relationships and the never-ending stress on romantic love makes poly and a-spec people feel completely invisible. The 14th of February is fast to bring discomfort among several members of the LGBTQIA+ community. “Don’t really bother with Valentine's to be honest. Feel a bit alienated by it as a queer person. I’m also demi and the ideas of love at first sight that get peddled around Valentine's Day I just can’t relate to and make me feel like I’m weird.”(Sarah, Rainbow and Co). “I think for me personally it (Valentine's Day) highlights how limited we are for queer gifts and especially same sex themed gifts. Being so limited is extremely taxing on your mental health.” (Georgia, Rainbow and Co). Valentine’s Day can be taxing on queer people, reminding them that the society they live in does not always consider them as part of the norm.
But There Is Queerness in Valentine’s Day
Francesca Forristal, a bisexual drag performer, has found out that recognising queerness on this day and celebrating her difference is a way to include her relationship in a holiday that was otherwise excluding her. She recognised the queerness in this day and decided to make it into a day of love rather than a day of discrimination and alienation. “If you think about the traditional heteronormative narrative associated with rom coms and mainstream love stories, it’s usually two people overcoming an array of obstacles to be together,” she says. “It’s a trope that actually aligns better with queer romance. Most queer couples have had to fight to be recognised on their own, let alone as part of a couple.” (Forristal and Cosmopolitan)