For example, when teachers get curious, not furious, they don't take the student's behavior personally, and they don't act in anger. They respond to student behaviors rather than react to them. They are then able to seek what the next steps might be for supporting a child in distress and emotional pain (a talk after class, arranging a meeting with the school counselor, etc).
Like Rita Pierson famously says: Kids don't learn from people they don't like.
When we humanize ourselves with our students and create spaces for them to do the same, classrooms become communities of care, discovery, and learning (for students and teachers). According to the research of Adena Klem and James Connell, students who perceive a teacher as caring have higher attendance, better grades, and are more engaged in the classroom and at school.
Campus discipline guides will help teachers determine what steps to take with students exhibiting a variety of behaviors. Remember that the best way to have low discipline is to have strong classroom management, a treatment agreement, positive trusting relationships, and great instruction. This will help address 95% of student-related issues.
Prior to referring a student to the office, please ask yourself "Did I set and follow clear ACADEMIC and BEHAVIOR Expectations?
Did I try everything in the classroom first? Did I make parent contact by phone (not just email)? Did I try a proactive restorative action?"
Mild Defiance: “Hey, that isn’t like you? Everything okay? What’s going on? What should you have done? What are you going to do now?” or "Help me understand what just happened."
Horseplay: “Whoa! That kind of thing could hurt someone. Please stand here by me for 1 minute and talk to me and then I will let you go to class. How is your day so far? Everything ok?”
Non-compliance: “I have reminded you of our rules and I am not happy with your choice, so I am going to come back in 1 minute and we can try again. I expect that you will do as I ask in that minute.”
Power struggles: Review the posted and previously agreed-on rules BEFORE asking for a student to take action and avoid a 2-choice dilemma for students -- offer him or her a true choice. Saying do this or go to the office is not a true choice. Saying "How about 5 minutes on this and then 5 minutes with a partner?" is a true choice.
It is almost always advisable to have the student explain what happened during class if you have time.
Take a few minutes to step into the hallway with the student and make a short call with a script something like this..
" Hi, Mrs. Jones, this is Mrs. Smith from ______ MS. I am John's science teacher. I have only a few minutes, but John and I stepped into the hallway for a private conversation with you. I am going to have John explain why we are calling you, and I will be stepping back into the classroom. If you need to speak to me after his explanation, I will call you back after school. Just so you know, he has received a warning from me today and next time, he will have a written classroom referral. We have several steps before an office referral, but we prefer to put a stop to things early. When he gets home, please have him write a plan to make sure this doesn't happen again.
Thank you so much for your support and help with getting John's behavior turned around so this doesn't become a habit. Please call me at any time to discuss science."
At this point, hand the phone to the student and move back to the doorway to supervise the other students, but make sure you have gone over with the student what he is supposed to say and the main point of why he is calling. You can create a script for the students to use too...
Make this phone call BEFORE you have to assign any consequences and allow this to serve as a warning ---this gives the parent a chance to fix it and it builds a much better relationship than if you send an email that states John has a 30-minute detention.
If either you or the student is escalated, do not explain or label student behavior to an admin in front of the student. We know something is wrong.
Under no circumstances, should the teacher label the student, “This is the most disrespectful student I have ever met….” where the student can hear. This will only damage the relationship and make repair hard. It might be true, but is it helpful? Wait to explain until you and the student is calmer or hold a closed door conversation with the admin. Sometimes, you just need to vent and your admin can listen.
Next steps: if you tell admin that the student has been doing this or that or this or that over and over again. they will support you, but they will also probably set up a plan so that this doesn't continue to happen with this student or another student.