The Springfield Equation

The most frequently asked question that I have encountered this year is asking me what the difference is between teaching at an all boys’ school or Springfield. I now have an answer. When rain comes down and there is plenty of water around, there is no difference.

I had barely switched on my computer in my office early last Friday morning, when I heard the sound of shrieking outside. I went to the window and squinted through the rain, the mist and the dripping trees to see three ethereal wraiths wafting through the gloom. Squealing in delight, they ran down to the Springfield stream through the rain oblivious of the state of their sandals as they squelched their way through the mud.

The stream had overflowed its banks and was spreading over the lawns. The central feature of this wet and wintry scene was the wave of water erupting over the stone bridge. There was far too much water to go under the bridge and the force of the flow caused the water to hit the stonework and spray upwards. Dodging the surging waters, the girls ran to and fro over the bridge and back. What dry parts the rain did not reach, the river water certainly did. The girls were sodden.

Then the inevitable happened. One of the girls made the somewhat foolhardy decision to jump from the bridge onto what she presumed was dryish land. There was no such luck after a night of solid rain and she was never going to gain a firm foothold. Fortunately for her, she did not lose her footing but the bad news was she had to step back into the water to keep her balance.

Standing knee-deep in water, she saw the funny side and was giggling uncontrollably. One of the others must have said something, because the next minute there was an almighty splashing match. At this point, I decided to wander down. I felt a somewhat of a spoilsport when I saw the girls’ faces drop when they saw me. In spite of being drenched and dripping with water, all three displayed huge grins. ‘This is such fun,’ one of them proclaimed with the air of someone who had just discovered one of life’s secrets.

They managed to find tracksuits and takkies from somewhere. Whether they would have found it as much fun if they had to sit in their classrooms in pools of water all day, is a matter for conjecture. What was said at home about the state of their sandals, I can only a imagine.

For the record, I have now invented a new scientific equation: Girls + Water = Boys + Water.

Can I call it the Springfield Equation?

Keith Richardson