2. Office Bearers

2021-22 Office Bearers

President - Moira Anderson

[aka Alasdair Gillies]

[aka Al Zheimer]

Position - Depends If He Has Shaved (edited by Lorna)

Age - Unknown (still trying to establish what a lunar year is on Planet Gillies)

Owner of the oldest blue cagoule in Inverness

Curling Achievements:- has won Province Division 1 on ten occasions

Redefined RCCC Rules in relation to substituting stones in a competition

Took Tantric Diesel Filling a Peugeot to new levels at Ballinluig

Best Call From The Head - Maybe!

Vice President - Brian Thomson

Skier who Hairdresses

Mother Club - Kingsmills Sea Angling and Fishing Club Curling Club

Distinguishing Features:- Harry Potter scar on forehead having head-butted a car boot

Current Position:- Slippy crutch in left hand while wristily tossing with his right

Likes:- ABC in concert

Dislikes:- half open car boots

Past-President/Treasurer - Morven Robertson Marwick Bruce

Loch Ness Role:- Vice-President/Treasurer

Original Token Female Member*

Current Position:- Used to be in bed with Judith MacFarlane (i.e. former Area Curling Development Officer)

Plans:- Going to the Province Halloween party as a pumpkin in the hope she turns into a coach.

Curling Achievements:- Has put up with male members of Loch Ness for years and is still smiling.

Distinguishing Features:- wears the same curling shoes as Ludmila Privivkova.

Complains of sore knees despite having wool carpets.

*** Warning ***

In the event Morven takes the head, the pitch and volume of her calls for line are best described as Brian Blessed on the point of orgasm.

Loch Ness will not accept any responsibility.

Related Items:- Sister plays for Beechnuts CC and can spot a rabbit at 100 paces

* Morven was seen as essential in Loch Ness complying with qualification criteria in any future application for lottery funding.

However given there are now two female members she is only 50% as essential as she once was.

Secretary - Neil Gallacher

Record:- Patchy

Age:- Crashing through his fifties

Curling Achievements:- Left HIDB Curling Club having been unable to progress to higher than lead over five seasons.

Has won Inverness Province Division 1 seven times more than predicted

Black belt in the slide tight/run it out delivery.

Once missed a tick shot by only 20 inches

Rumoured to have been injury free in 1992

Can win at Connect 4 in three moves

Forced to skip despite suffering from FUD syndrome (fear, uncertainty, doubt)

Former Province Match Secretary

"How much safer it is to be the tool of the oppressor that the advocate of the oppressed"

William Hazlitt, Political Essays (1819)

Management Committee

Office Bearers plus:-

Morven Bruce (ex-officio)

Cameron Clark

Stewart Sturrock