Renewal of Vows Ceremony for Deb and Art

Rev. Roberta Finkelstein, Officiant

Wednesday July 30, 2003

Musical Prelude “Let It Be A Dance”

Opening Reading by Ann Morrow Lindbergh

A good relationship has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate but gay and swift and free, like a country dance of Mozart’s. To touch heavily would be to arrest the pattern and free the movement, to check the endlessly changing beauty of its unfolding. There is no place here for the possessive clutch, the clinging arm, the heavy hand; only the barest touch in passing. Now arm in arm, now face to face, now back to back—it does not matter which; because they know they are partners moving to the same rhythm, creating a pattern together, and being invisibly nourished by it. The joy of such a pattern is not only the joy of creation or the joy of participation, it is also the joy of living in the moment. Lightness of touch and living in the moment are intertwined.

Introduction

Two people meet, and something special happens. For some unknown reason, a relationship develops. Call it love; call it God; call it chemistry; call it the reason for living. It really doesn’t matter what name we assign to this process—but we all know that when it happens two individuals recognize that it is their life work to commit to that relationship. In making that commitment, they change not only the course of their own personal lives, but also the lives of everybody they touch. A commitment is made, the hard work of relationship building begins, and over the years the fruits of that work become apparent. Twenty years ago, Art and Deb were joined in marriage. They were in love, they had their whole lives in front of them. Romance blossomed. That beginning—that was the easy part. Cupid’s arrow is always the easy part; the excitement and passion and newness. The rest of it, the rest of our life is up to us and it’s hard work keeping love alive through the trials and tribulations of everyday busyness, and developing careers, and crying babies. But Art and Deb now know that the love that grows out of those challenges is worth the effort. Romance fades, but the deeper and more nuanced endures.

My Friends, we are gathered here to witness to the renewal of the vows Art and Deb made 20 years ago; vows now tested by circumstance and time. They are not starry-eyed idealists anymore; they have garnered some wisdom from the passage of time. All the more wonderful, is it not, that they still wish to come together here and vow once again their deep and abiding love for each other? And how wonderful that this community of faith can provide them with something that they agree was missing 20 years ago. When Deb and Art were married, they came from 2 different religious traditions. They were unable to find any clergy person in either faith who was willing to bless their marriage. They were unable to find either a church or a synagogue that was willing to host and witness to their union. It took them a while, but together they have now found a community of faith where they are both comfortable—where they can talk about and share their religious beliefs and their spiritual journey.

You who are here to witness this renewal are such an important part of their lives! By creating and sustaining this community of faith known as the Unitarian Universalists of Sterling, you have made it possible for them to complete the circle begun at their wedding ceremony 20 years ago. Art and Deb are so grateful for the existence of this religious community! And the way they have chosen to express their gratitude is by inviting all of us to share in this ceremony. We have all known love in our lives—though some are now separated from loved ones by time or distance, illness or death. And we all remember and rejoice in the affirmation of love. Art and Deb, we thank you for sharing your commitment and your love; it has been and will continue to be a blessing to us.

Vows

20 years ago today you promised to be faithful and honest; to respect, trust and care for each other, and to share your lives through the best and worst of times. Today in the presence of your beloved community of family, friends and congregation, do you recommit your vows to each other as lifelong partners? Will you continue parenting together in raising your family, to be companions in your home where ever it may be; to share your family traditions and holy days of your hearts; celebrate joys, support each other through sorrows, and cherish each other each all of your days?” If so, answer, “We do.”

The Words of the Children

The most precious fruit of this 20 year union between Art and Deb are their children. Each of them has chosen a reading that they will share to express their love for their parents and their gratitude for this enduring relationship.

Pronouncement and Blessing

Art and Deb, by your words you have recommitted yourselves to your marriage vows. By your invitation to us to be present for this event, you have reminded all of us of the power of love in our lives. Furthermore, you have allowed us to consecrate this new meeting space in a most special way—for the first religious event to happen here is an affirmation of love and commitment to long-term relationship. What better way to make a set of rooms into a church?

A blessing on this relationship, and on all the relationships of love and friendship that sustain us, now and forever.

Amen.