The River Bank
A small tortoiseshell settled on the side of the dingy. It went unnoticed and listened intently.
The boat contained two small animals. One was dressed neatly in black velvet and the other was a scruffy brown furred individual whose eyes twinkled mischievously. Ratty, for such was his name, leant back in his seat and let the oars dangle in their rowlocks. In his high reedy voice he began to pontificate. “This Rowan Williams bloke got out while the going was good”, he said. “I think that Sandi Toksvig should be the next Archbishop. She’s got what it takes – good at answering difficult questions and a great sense of humour. She is a bit small though and I’m not sure that she believes in God but that doesn’t matter, of course. Who would you like to see in Canterbury, Mole?”
“Well it wouldn’t be Sandi Toksvig she’s Danish”, said Mole as he trailed his hand in the cool water.
What’s wrong with that?” countered Ratty.
“Come on now, they went around raping and pillaging.”
“Sure”, agreed Ratty”, but It was a long time ago”
“Not in the life of the church. These ecclesiasticals have long memories – look at Northern Ireland”, said Mole and his tiny eyes watered a little in the bright sunshine. There was a purple iridescence on his dense fur which shimmered and faded as a cloud passed over the sun.
“I repeat my question” said Ratty getting a little impatient although he was basically a good natured animal. “Who would you like to see in Canterbury”?
“All right, if you are going to put me on the spot, I think Bill Gates should be the next Archbishop of Canterbury”.
“Bill Gates! Why”? exclaimed Ratty”.
Mole became a little dreamy and he peered in a cross-eyed fashion at the damselfly that had landed on the end of his pointed pink nose. Eventually he uncrossed his eyes and mumbled, “He’s got experience with windows and I’m sure he would soon learn to stain glass”.
Ratty almost smiled and then he remembered that water voles can’t smile. “Do you know, Mole, you are a very fine fellow but I believe that you are completely mad”.
“Thank you”, said the delighted Mole. “Have you seen Toad recently”?
Ratty scratched his head before replying “I was speaking to Otter last week and he said that he had some pheasant shooting lined up but it had to be cancelled because Toad had run every last one of them over in his motorcar. What a mess it was”!
It was just then that Badger appeared on the far bank and hailed them in his deep sonorous voice. “What are you two idle delinquents up to” he quipped.
Ratty slid his hands onto the oars and pulled a couple of languorous strokes. “Oh just messing about in boats. There’s nothing quite like it you know”.
With one beat of its wings the Tortoiseshell was gone, the willows rustled and chaos ensued.