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In our old incarnation as a doll club on YahooGroup, the group moderator found it necessary to discourage off-topic personal chit chat due the excesses of a very small number of people. Some messages included personal information of non-members, some included frankly Too Much Information, and some ventured into an arena of tittle-tattle gossip and name-calling more suited to a junior high playground than a group of adult collectors. The message board became a combination of People Magazine meets the National Enquirer. This is not to say that every off-topic post was a problem...please be patient while I clarify.
One day when there were dozens of messages about JFK Jr's fatal plane crash, it was decided to establish guidelines. These were loose and simple: please can we talk about *Princess Diana* and dolls related to her? Occasionally, message threads morphed into discussion of the minutiae of Diana's life, death and divorce, which were dissected to the point where a few members felt they could speak on Diana's behalf and called the third person in her marriage very mean and unnecessary nicknames, while others in the group preferred just to ignore that person. Some members shared their own family personal business, such as details of an adult child's divorce, graphic details of a grandbaby's illness and woeful tales of personal finance run amok. There was also the new member who claimed her entire collection had been destroyed in a vandalism attack. More about that in a minute.
The group owner got complaints about these. Not one complaint, and not half a dozen, it became dozens very quickly. The complaints varied from, "Why am I seeing this?" to "There is a problem here that needs an intervention."
So. The guidelines were tightened to focus on Diana/royalty dolls, talk about Diana's clothes and current events related to Diana, discussion of publications related to Diana: books, magazines, websites, etc. Eventually this was extended to include members of the Royal Family.
Some members misinterpreted this request for focus as meaning they "couldn't be friends" and pair of parallel groups were set up with the unhappy folks encouraging the Club's members to switch, while others left entirely or stopped participating. There was no intention to block friendships, not disallow expression of opinions or generally anything sinister. The intent was A) to stem the complaints (which were generally made privately) B) to protect the privacy of people who were likely unaware their momma or in-laws were thrashing out their personal business on a global platform in front of complete strangers and C) to ensure that the Club was delivering "what it said on the tin." And it was diminishing the mission of the Club.
It's impossible to keep everyone happy, so the compromise was to go for the common denominator and appeal to the pool of members who were contributing the most valuable experience for everyone. (One off-the-wall suggestion was that the group owner should find out "who the traitors were and ban them from the Club." Another egregious suggestion was that cross-over members should be told not to "suck away our discussion to share elsewhere." Really? SERIOUSLY? Are we twelve and locking people out of the treehouse?) Gah.
On another occasion, we had a new member who made some friends quickly on joining, then exactly a month later claimed her house was burgled and her dolls stolen and/or vandalised. This inspired more than one kind-hearted member to suggest holding a benefit to help her replace them. At this point, the group owner stepped in and engaged with the member privately and who admitted that the burglary/trashed dolls story was untrue, and hinted it was for attention. She was sent on a Club vacation for a specific period, during which time she set herself up as an eBay reseller, charging high prices for secondary market custom and FM items; she never returned and it's been confirmed has since passed away. It's a very sad story and after the initial vacation, it was kept off the message board.
Another very short term member in 2000 or so was alleged by a second member to be guilty of scamming numerous people, both members and non-members of the Group. During her membership, this was later confirmed by investigation conducted by the Club owner. Member A was found to have committed various scams in multiple ways...on and off eBay; as a buyer and as a seller. She was a menace and there were many complaints logged from Club members. The group became aware of at least 4 dozen eBay fake usernames which she controlled: 4 DOZEN. She eventually started using names/accounts of family members and actually admitted using a family member's legal identification to get herself cleared on SquareTrade.
Even after doing that she continued to try to scam people, and the Club banded together to shut down her activities whenever possible. Years later she claimed to have reformed and hasn't been spotted in more than a decade. Although she was a member for only about a year, we were dealing with her from about 2000 until 2005. She eventually admitted to some of her activity and pretended to offer to make good on her schemes, but did not take responsibility for her actions or explain herself more than to lay blame on the people involved in her deals. Nearly $1,000 USD was involved in complaints about her. It is unknown whether these have been reimbursed, and although she did commit to repaying her victims, she expected the Group owner to coordinate contact (not acceptable) and it's doubtful she followed through.
She was dubbed "The Goose" by one of her dealing partners from eBay who was left distressed and frightened after being threatened. The name was a play on words because the ex-member was very silly, lived in Canada, flew away every time she was caught out, and migrated South to a new eBay or Yahoo ID a short while after. It wasn't the group owner's nickname, but it was gladly embraced simply as a codename to post in warnings of Goose Sightings.
The new social media platforms are much more forgiving of off-topic chatter. There were topic headings to that could be added to a discussion to make it possible to find or avoid. Unfortunately, FB has discontinued this. however it's still possible to mute those folks one finds annoying without it becoming a schoolyard wrangle.
This does not mean that the message forum is a free-for-all. There is no wish to re turn to the days described above, because it was just simply Over The Top, energy draining and no fun for anyone.
So let's play dolls and leave the gossip, drama and intrigue at the door. Thank you if you made it this far.