People often say, "Life isn't fair." That's unquestionably true. And when unexplained tragedies ... invade our lives, even those of us who believe in God may want to scream, "God's not fair!" If God is fair, then why do the unrighteous seem to prosper so often, even as the faithful are suffering?...Why doesn't God seem fair? As you try to process the pain in your life and in the lives of those around you, you might find yourself asking that same question. Maybe you prayed for something to get better, but it only got worse. Maybe you're suffering because of someone else's sinful actions. Maybe you've raised your child as best you could, but your child is drifting farther and farther from God. Maybe you've lived morally and begged God for a spouse, but you're still alone. Maybe you've done everything you know to do, but it feels like life sucker-punched you, and now it's kicking you while you're down. Maybe you've been looking for a reason behind your suffering, and it's beginning to take a toll on your faith.Where is God when life's not fair?

When we're hurting and confused, we need to remember a few truths about God. First, God cares for each one of us. When we hurt, he hurts. Remember: God was a man for a time, so he knows exactly how we feel [see Matthew 9:36 ]... And God already felt that way before he sent Jesus to us [see Exodus 34:6]... When you hurt, he hurts. [And] he comforts us in our pain [ Isaiah 49:13]...

Sometimes God may intervene to prevent or ease our pain, or even to help us escape from it. But we may not always recognize his loving action when it happens. We can't count how many times our gracious Father has protected us from certain harm because we don't know it even took place. And even when we do see instances when he protected us, we may find it hard to recall those moments when we face a season of pain. Fresh pain can consume us, enshrouding our whole world like a deep fog. A single moment of pain can stretch out, feeling like it's spilling over the borders of the present into both the past and the future. But when we're ready, a gentle reminder of God's previous (and continuing) goodness can comfort and inspire us to find hope again...

-The Christian Atheist: Believing in God but Living As If He Doesn't Exist, by Craig Groeschel

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Receive First, Give Second

By Max Lucado

What do you do when you’re low on love? Do you try to conjure it up by the sheer force of will? As if there is within us a distillery of affection that lacks only a piece of wood or a hotter fire. We poke it and stoke it with resolve. What’s our typical strategy for treating a troubled relationship? Try harder.

“My spouse needs my forgiveness? I don’t know how, but I’m going to give it.”

“I don’t care how much it hurts, I’m going to be nice to that bum.”

“I’m supposed to love my neighbor? Okay. By golly, I will.”

So we try. Teeth clinched. Jaw firm. We’re going to love if it kills us! And it may do just that.

Could it be we are missing a step? Could it be that the first step of love is not toward them but toward him? Could it be that the secret to loving is receiving? You give love by first receiving. “We love each other as a result of his loving us first” (1 John 4:19 NLT).

Long to be more loving? Begin by accepting your place as a dearly loved child. “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us” (Eph. 5:1-2 NIV, emphasis mine).

Want to learn to forgive? Then consider how you’ve been forgiven. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you” (Eph. 4:32 NIV).

Finding it hard to put others first? Think of the way Christ put you first. “Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God” (Phil. 2:6 NLT).

Need more patience? Drink from the patience of God (2 Pet. 3:9). Is generosity an elusive virtue? Then consider how generous God has been with you (Rom. 5:8). Having trouble putting up with ungrateful relatives or cranky neighbors? God puts up with you when you act the same. “He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked” (Luke 6:35 NIV).

Can’t we love like this?

Not without God’s help we can’t.

If we haven’t received these things ourselves, how can we give them to others? Apart from God, “the heart is deceitful above all things” (Jer. 17:9 NIV). A marriage-saving love is not within us. A friendship-preserving devotion cannot be found in our hearts. We need help from an outside source. A transfusion. Would we love as God loves? Then we start by receiving God’s love.

We preachers have been guilty of skipping this step. “Love each other!” we tell our churches. “Be patient, kind, forgiving,” we urge. But instructing people to love without telling them they are loved is like telling them to write a check without our making a deposit in their accounts. No wonder so many relationships are overdrawn. Hearts have insufficient love. The apostle John models the right sequence. He makes a deposit before he tells us to write the check. First the deposit:

“God showed how much he loved us by sending his only son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” (John 4:9-10 NLT)

And then, having made such an outrageous, eye-opening deposit, John calls on you and me to pull out the checkbook: “Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other” (vs 11 NLT).

The secret to loving is living loved. Many people tell us to love. Only God gives us the power to do so.

Excerpted from A Love Worth Giving

W Publishing, 2002

Available for purchase at MaxLucado.com

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THERE’S MORE IN STORE FOR YOU:

The Rev. Delishia Boykin

“As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the high position I have today so I could save the lives of many people.” – Genesis 50:20 New Living Translation

My brothers and my sisters, there has been one question that theologians have debated for centuries and Christians often become absorbed trying to comprehend – Why do bad things happen to good people? I encounter so many people on a daily basis that seek a real life answer to this question because no matter how much they have tried to do the right thing, sometimes evil is what they get in return.

Truthfully, I have wondered myself (yes even the pastor) because I have seen countless numbers of people that have shown the utmost love for God and others, yet someone comes along and seeks to destroy them. And yes, in our faith we believe that regardless of the issue, God will work it out and we will understand it better by and by. Yet the question remains… How do you explain that to a woman that has been raped? Or to a child that has been molested? Or a Christian that has been the subject of unjust and unfair treatment? Some things are easy to say, but difficult to carry out.

Yesterday, I was in a session with a teenage girl that has suffered abuse. She realizes that it is not her fault, and she is proceeding on with her life but there is one question that lingers on in her mind- Why Me? To minister to her, I shared a synopsis of the story of Joseph, which she is now reading for empowerment.

Joseph was the favored son in his family. His father loved him so much; he gave him a specialized garment made just for him. He often showered his favor upon this dear son and to top it all off – God gave Joseph dreams to be able to see the future and how he would be elevated. Needless to say, when Joseph’s brothers heard this, they were upset and jealous. They staged a traumatic event to finally rid themselves of the issue Joseph represented for them. They abandoned their brotherhood, left Joseph all alone and told the father he was no longer alive. The entire plot was pre-meditated, and for a season they thought they won this battle they assumed for themselves.

Over time, however, a famine hit the land and they had to go to leadership to try to get some help. Guess who had to help the starving familial adversaries? You guessed it right – Joseph. And he did it with fashionable style and in abundance. He showered love upon them even after they exercised hatred against him for no reason at all. After which, these brothers returned to apologized, and Joseph replied to them, “As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the high position I have today so I could save the lives of many people.”

Dear friend, we can become distracted in life by spending unnecessary time reflecting on the evil that other people have done in our lives. Please do not misunderstand me – I do not minimize it at all. I have been there! I know it hurts you to your core, I know that it is unfair and I know you do not deserve it but greater than all of that, you must realize God has a perfect plan concerning you and it’s not over until God says it’s over.

Joseph did not give up even when he went through the pit or the prison, and as a result God brought him to the Palace. While he was in the palace, God even blessed Pharaoh’s house because of Joseph’s presence. Regardless of what evil you may face today as a result of other people or the adversary himself, keep these three things in mind:

God is with you

Joseph made it through difficult circumstances because the Almighty God was with him wherever he went. Remember King David recorded in the Psalms, wherever he went God was there – in the earthly realm, in Heaven or in the world beneath – God was there. (Psalm 139) Likewise, in the positive and negative moments of life, you must know, understand and believe that God is with you. He has promised “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:15b) As you walk throughout this day, remember that God is with you and there is a power that is resident with the presence of God.

Your circumstance does not define you

Everyone has had difficult moments, made mistakes and experienced misfortune or failure at some point in life. However, it is not the situation that defines you – it is what lies inside of you. I know the world will try to make us think our misfortune is our destiny, but the devil is a liar and a deceiver too!

Joseph was sold into slavery – but he didn’t give up. He was mistreated because of a moral decision, but he didn’t give up. He was hated by the brethren, but he did not give up. He did not give up and he could not give up because God had already shown him his destiny.

The brothers could hate him, but they could not steal or alter his destiny. The baker could forget him, but he could not steal or alter his destiny. Potiphar’s wife could falsely accuse him, but she could not steal or alter his destiny. It is all in the hands of God.

That’s why we must always be careful when we talk about a child of God – you may know where they are but you do not know where they are going! As I have heard numerous times, God moves in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform.

When Joseph’s brothers saw him again, they did not see the hated brother that was abandoned, what the saw was the man who was able to provide sufficient resources to sustain their lives. Ultimately, Joseph rose above the negative and he was defined when God pronounced the benediction on his life. You too are not defined by what has happened in your past or what may be the case today – you will be known by what God is preparing you for – the ultimate place God will place you in life. So what should you do? Hold on, help is on the way!

Your circumstance is temporary, but your relationship with Almighty God is eternal.

The power of God will perform a mighty act

Although Joseph was left for dead, that was not the plan of God. Others may plan your failure or demise, but God has a greater plan for you. His plan is that you prosper, have hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) God used Joseph’s situation to elevate him and to bring blessings to even his adversaries through an act of redemption and reconciliation.

You may not see it or fully understand it, but I promise you right now that God is working out your situation for the good. (Romans 8:28) Please don’t give up or give in because God is going to use the power of transformation to convert all intended evil into good. No weapon formed against you shall prosper, because you are MORE than a conqueror through Christ Jesus, our Lord. Amen!

Let us pray. Dear God, I reverence you and worship you for this day and the gift of life. I know you have the perfect plan for my life and you will order my steps. While I do not always understand why you allowed negative things to happen in my life, I am encouraged that each issue has made me wiser, stronger and better. I believe in your power of transformation, and I seek your divine power in my life today. I trust you now that every evil thing will be converted for my ultimate good. Help me to not become bitter, but to grow in your love and mirror your image in the name of Jesus, Amen.

*The Rev. DeLishia Boykin is the pastor of Grant AME Church of Chesilhurst, New Jersey and the author of the national bestseller “Positioned for a Breakthrough”