Home testing keeps them safer, but even with home testing, you can end up with a hypo or DKA situation. There are plenty of cats out there whose owners only start testing after years of treating blindly (usually due to a hypo or DKA scare). There are plenty of cats out there whose owners have never tested and they can live long lives. They might not ever get into remission or they might not be as healthy as they could be (i.e. because the dose is consistently too high or too low, causing bounces and high numbers), but home testing is not some magical wand that you wave over a cat and they become immortal. It is simply another tool to help you help your kitty as best as you can. If the best you can do at the moment is use secondary monitoring tools, then that's fine!
Your cat was most likely diagnosed within the last month, which isn't very long when it comes to a chronic, life-long illness like diabetes. Home testing is important, but sometimes it takes longer for it to happen. So, take a deep breath and realize that you already know how to home test in case of an emergency situation and now it's just about practicing it enough until it becomes easier and that simply takes time.
Something you might want to try is breaking the testing process down into individual steps:
Release Kitty and give a treat (both to Kitty and yourself )Then, for your next test time, focus on only the first step: getting your testing supplies ready. Find a spot where you want to test the Kitty (if you don't already have one) and turn that into your "testing environment." Sit there a moment and reach for your tools and see if they're easily accessible or if you might need to change the way you're sitting or even re-arrange some furniture. Focus on that and mime out the motions of testing as if Kitty were sitting on your lap. And you're done.
The time after that, heat up the rice sock. See how long it takes in the microwave to become warm enough but not too hot. You can use your own forearm to test (as you would with a baby's bottle). Is 15 seconds better than 20? Or is 20 seconds perfect? Maybe 25? Go to the test spot and mime the testing actions again.
Third time, find Kitty and bring him to the test spot. You're still not going to test him yet. Just bring him there and sit with him for as long as he'll remain still (even if it's only a few seconds). Practice this step as many times as you need to. Find a position that is agreeable for both of you. Feed him a few treats to get him to stick around longer.
Fourth time, use the sock on Kitty's ears. Rub it along his body, under his chin, across his head, anywhere he'll let you. Feed him plenty of treats.
Fifth time, start playing with his ears, bending them this way and that way and finding out which angle might work best for you to see the "Sweet Spot" and doesn't irritate or annoy him too much.
6th, 7th, etc...
First time you attempt to poke, only poke once and see if you can get blood. If you can't get blood, then it doesn't matter because that's not what this step is about; that comes later. Right now, it's just about the poking. If you get blood, then consider that as a pleasant surprise but don't stress yourself on getting it on the test strip in time. If you do, even better, but it's not important at this stage. Each subsequent time you "test," poke only once until you feel comfortable poking a second time. Then proceed to the "poke twice" step.
...I'm sure you're getting the idea now, but basically try to approach testing as a long, leisurely journey where you have all the time in the world. Remove the urgency from it. Tackle each step individually until you feel comfortable with it and then proceed to the next. Go at your own pace, your own speed. Don't rush yourself or Kitty. There is no pressure to "get it done now" so give yourself the time you both need to "get it done right."
I perhaps know better than most how difficult certain kitties can be when it comes to testing. Michelangelo was only 6 months old when he was diagnosed and he was also a feral rescue kitten. When I first started testing him after he was diagnosed, I spent the first week just trying to test him and I wasn't even able to get in one successful test during that first week. I don't even count that first week as anything but getting us both accustomed to the testing process. And during that week, I also saw him "reverting" back into some of his feral tendencies that I had spent the previous 4 months of breaking him from. I was frustrated, discouraged, felt hopeless, and caught in a state of fear that I'd irreversibly turn him feral again vs. keeping him safe and healthy through testing.
The second week, I was finally able to get in some successful tests. The third week, it got even better. By then end of the first month, Mikey and I reached a point of understanding: he might not like what I was doing, but he'd put up with it as long as I accommodated his mood. I learned to give myself about an hour to test him so I could be flexible if my first attempt to get him situated resulted in a battle. When that happened, I'd either let him wander off for a bit and try again later or I'd play with him for about 15 minutes and then try again, or I'd even feed him a little bit first to get him satiated from food. Or all of the above (hence the reason it could take me up to an hour sometimes to get a test in).
After about three months, we reached the point where I'm at now. Testing takes about 3 seconds and 75% of the time, he's easy to corral and sits "patiently" for those three seconds it takes for me to test him. The other 25% of the time, I either have to skip the test entirely because he's not cooperative or wait and try again in a bit.
With difficult kitties, it takes a lot of intuition and reading of body signs to gauge their mood. But most importantly, it takes a lot of time and patience! Keep giving both of you the time you need and everything will eventually fall into place. Yes, it would be nice if you could get more tests in right now to see what's going on, but at what expense? You'll eventually get there and it's better that you're testing at least a little bit than not at all.