Wordiness-1
Writers often fill sentences with weak or unnecessary words that can be deleted or replaced. Words and phrases should be deliberately chosen for the work they are doing. Like bad employees, words that don't accomplish enough should be fired. When only the most effective words remain, writing will be far more concise and readable.
Here are some general tips to avoid wordiness:
Avoid “clutter” phrases such as because of the fact that, and that, which, and who phrases by turning them into adjectives.
Wordy: The product came with an instruction manual that was helpful.
Concise: The product came with a helpful instruction manual.
Eliminate unnecessary repetition.
Wordy: The meeting is at 5:00 P.M. in the afternoon.
Concise: The meeting is at 5:00 P.M.
Wordy: During that time period, many car buyers preferred cars that were pink in color and shiny in appearance.
Concise: During that period, many car buyers preferred pink, shiny cars.
Avoid inexact phrases (I am not in agreement vs. I disagree; she was very upset vs. she was devastated)
Avoid "filler" phrases at the beginning of sentences, such as it is, there is, and there are; these often delay the sentence's true subject and verb.
Wordy: It is expensive to upgrade computer systems.
Concise: Upgrading computer systems is expensive.
Wordy: There are several advantages to genetic screening.
Concise: Genetic screening presents several advantages.
Identify which underlined portion of the sentence contains an error.
The commission’s report mentions the contributions made by both big corporations as well as small businesses to the growth of the nation’s economy.
A) mentions
B) by
C) as well as
D) businesses
E) no error
For as many as twenty years or more Florence Nightingale fought to bring about new standards of cleanliness in hospitals.
A) For
B) as many as
C) to bring about
D) of
E) no error
Due to the fact that he was undernourished, he was extremely thin.
A) Due to the fact that he was undernourished
B) Due to the fact that he were undernourished
C) Since he were undernourished
D) Because he was undernourished
E) Because of the fact that he was undernourished
Because fiscal problems will force some cities to lay off firefighters, and so the state legislature must decide whether to provide those cities with financial aid.
A) firefighters, and so
B) firefighters is a matter
C) firefighters,
D) firefighters; then
E) firefighters; this is a problem
At lunchtime, Kevin paid for Anita's hamburger; the reason is because he owed her money.
A) hamburger; the reason is because he owed
B) hamburger; this was because he owed
C) hamburger, in that he owed
D) hamburger because he owed
E) hamburger because of owing
Many emeralds, once they are placed in a setting, are as beautiful in their appearance as diamonds.
A) as beautiful in their appearance as
B) as beautiful in its appearance as
C) as beautiful in their appearance like
D) as beautiful as
E) beautiful in appearance as
After the flood of recent complaints, the school board voted against mandatory mathematics in all grades, and they thereby achieved their goal of relaxing requirements.
A) and they thereby achieved their goal
B) by which means they achieved their goal
C) thereby achieving the board's goal
D) achieving a goal the board had hoped to
E) to which end they were able to achieve their goal
Zoos have been finding that pit vipers, which have long preferred to starve rather than eat in captivity, were accepting food within a few number of days after sunlight-simulating lamps containing ultraviolet were installed.
A) leave as is
B) after a few number of days
C) a few days
D) shortly
E) not long
Mrs. Smith told Joe, being that he was a poorly behaved student, that this warning was his last chance before she gave him detention.
A) being that he was a poorly behaved student, that this warning was his last chance before she gave him detention.
B) being that he was a poorly behaved student, that this was the last chance warning she would give him before she gave him detention.
C) being poorly behaved, that this warning was his last chance before she gave him detention.
D) a poorly behaved student, that detention would be given to him by her if he did not heed this last chance warning.
E) a poorly behaved student, that this warning was his last chance before she gave him detention.
Being that I am a teacher, I often find grammar mistakes hard to hear.
A) Being that I am a teacher
B) Being I am a teacher
C) As a teacher
D) Since I am being a teacher
E) Since a teacher is what I am
My history class was reading a biography of the life of Abraham Lincoln, so my teacher decided we should visit the museum.
A) My history class was reading a biography of the life of Abraham Lincoln
B) Because my history class was reading a biography of the life of Abraham Lincoln
C) Since my history class was reading a biography about AbrahamLincoln
D) My history class read a biography about the life of Abraham Lincoln
E) My history class was reading a biography about Abraham Lincoln
The reason for my lateness is because my car would not start.
A) The reason for my lateness is because
B) I am late and the reason is because
C) The reason I am late is because
D) I am late because
E) The cause of my lateness was because
I was late to my own birthday party and the reason was because the party was a surprise party that I didn't know about.
A) and the reason was because the party was a surprise party that I didn't
B) and the reason was because it was a surprise party that I didn't
C) and the reason was that it, the party, was a surprise party that I didn't
D) because it was a surprise party that I didn't
E) because they were giving me a surprise party that I don't
The ladies on the neighborhood decorating committee decided to use last year's decorations to save money since the decorations were the same as the ones used last year.
A) use last year's decorations to save money since the decorations were the same as the ones used last year.
B) save money by using last year's decorations.
C) save money by using the same decorations that were being used last year.
D) use the decorations that were used last year to save money.
E) save money and use decorations that were the same decorations that had been used last year.
John has spent 10 years trying to study and prepare for the ACT.
A) trying to study and prepare for
B) in the attempt to study
C) trying to prepare for
D) in the effort to prepare for
The Prado museum in Madrid has the largest collection of great Spanish paintings in the whole world.
A) The Prado museum in Madrid has the largest collection of great Spanish paintings in the whole world.
B) The Prado museum in Madrid has the world's largest collection of great Spanish paintings.
C) It is the Prado museum in Madrid that has the largest collection of the world's great Spanish paintings.
D) The greatest collection of Spanish paintings in the world is held by the Prado museum in Madrid.
E) In Madrid, it is the Prado museum that holds the world's largest collection of great Spanish paintings.
REDUNDANT MODIFIERS
The concerned parents chose Connie as their babysitter because she had a maternal, motherly way of interacting their twins.
A) she had a maternal, motherly way of interacting
B) of her motherly way of acting maternally
C) she acted like a mother in her style, which was maternal, of interacting
D )she had a maternal way of interacting
Jasper enjoys a very unique position in our family.
A) Jasper enjoys a very unique position in our family.
B) Jasper enjoys a unique position in our family.
C) Jasper enjoys an extremely unique position in the family.
D) Jasper is a very unique member of our family.
E) A very unique position in our family is enjoyed by Jasper.
The Heisman Trophy, is named for football coach John Heisman, and it is awarded to the most outstanding college football player, and it is a very prestigious award.
A) is named for football coach John Heisman, and it is awarded to the most outstanding college football player, and it is a very prestigious award.
B) named for football coach John Heisman, is a very prestigious award presented to the most outstanding college football player.
C) which is named for football coach John Heisman, and is awarded to the most outstanding college football player, is a very prestigious award.
D) named for football coach John Heisman, it is a very prestigious award presented to the most outstanding college football player.
E) is named for football coach John Heisman, which is awarded to the most outstanding college football player, and it is a very prestigious award.
I hated that my younger sister was more smarter.
A) I hated that my younger sister was more smarter.
B) My younger sister was smarter.
C) I hated that my younger sister was smarter.
D) My younger sister, I hated that she was smarter.
E) My sister, I hated, that was younger was more smarter.
AWKWARDNESS
The newspaper business in the United States faces a challenge, being that it must reconcile the high-minded goal of informing readers with the commercial one of making money.
A) challenge, being that it must reconcile the high-minded goal of informing readers with the commercial one of making money
B) Challenge of it reconciling the high-minded goal of informing readers with the commercial one of making money
C) challenge; as such it must reconcile the high-minded goal of informing readers with the commercial one of making money
D) challenge because it must reconcile the high-minded goal of informing readers with the commercial one of making money
E) challenge; since it has the high-minded goal of informing readers with the commercial one of making money being reconciled