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Maxine's Story
Life's Lessons: Honesty
There are stories in my life that I would like to tell .... but I have not been quite sure how to do them ... until now. I have decided to title them "Life's Lessons" and include them whenever it is appropriate to the assignment. At this time, February 2002, the assignment is to write a story about one of my children. This is a good place to begin.
LIFE'S LESSONS: HONESTY ...
Never Never Never tell a lie! Well unless a friend asks you if you like her new outfit she's just paid too much for and can't take back .... in that case you may have to adjust the truth a bit!
But seriously, I have always known the importance of telling the truth. Not only knew it, but practiced it! Until one spring day in 1965.
She was five years old, our Susan, the youngest of our four children. A determined little girl---finding ways to express herself, loving the outdoors and excited to explore her expanding world. "I can grow anything" she said. Suddenly she was a gardener and our two acres provided her with lots of space. I've forgotten her small accomplishments---but for one!
It was close to the house---too close in fact---almost under the eve. She had planted a dead stick! "It won't grow"---and I explained why---didn't deter her! I tried again---"That is a dead stick"---but she knew better. Water, nurturing, tender loving care, she assured me that she could indeed make anything grow!
Visiting the local nursery, I chose a variety of new plants, and included in my purchase a pink pussy willow. It was curiosity I suppose ---couldn't remember ever seeing a 'pink' pussy willow before. I had to take the nurseries word for it as it looked exactly like a dry stick. Then at home---where to plant all my potential treasures? Easy enough for most of them, but what about the pussy willow? Suddenly I saw the spot! Without another thought I simply pulled out Susan's dead stick and replaced it with my willow. There was little difference in appearance---and I put the whole thing out of my mind.
The tender loving care continued---she never noticed anything different. A week or so went by---warm balmy days. Suddenly into my kitchen burst my five year old---excited beyond belief! "You said I couldn't do it---and I did do it! I did it---I did it---I did it---you said I couldn't but I did!" We hurried to look. Sure enough---there were buds breaking out all over this formerly dead looking stick!
I looked at this miracle of life restored---I looked at the ecstatic face of my daughter. Now was the moment. I could tell the truth---crushing this little girl's joy and perhaps destroying her confidence and her trust---or just keep quiet and let her believe.
It was so easy. I wanted that success to be hers---though I had to endure all the reminders: "You said I couldn't but I did" for years! Now that wasn't our biggest problem----There is a saying in 'real estate'---The three things that matter are location---location---location! Had I given 'location' any thought at all, I could have corrected things so easily! She never stopped caring for this beloved little transplant--watering, patting and even talking to it. Of course it thrived under such loving care! The years rolled by. She went into her teen years a happy well adjusted girl, with her priorities firmly established. Horses were her passion, and a great deal of her time was spent outdoors, though not on horticulture.
Because it was on the fronts side of the house, we paid little attention to her growing willow---that is until her Dad came in one day and announced he was going to cut the tree down we had planted under the eve! TREE! When did that happen? We hurried to look---It was a tree! Cut it down? "NO"! Not her baby---throwing her arms around her pet she hugged and kissed and dared anyone to touch!
Hank gave in---I thought. It was temporary. He patiently explained; too close---it was going to destroy the gutter, damage the roof. "NO" Not her precious! More hugs and kisses. Poor Hank knew when he was beaten. More years rolled by. Hank tried and tried again. "That tree is ruining the gutter---threatening the roof---endangering the foundation and tangling the wires---it has to go!" NOT MY BABY"---more hugs kisses and theatrics! He was a good Dad and he loved his daughter more than any parts of the house---even this house he had built, brick by brick. The ironic thing? That darned tree was downright ugly! Pink pussy willow? I never saw any sign of pink. It grew tall to reach the sun, but at an angle to miss the roof! Whatever 'blossoms' it might have had were way beyond our reach. But love is blind---and it was a loved and pampered tree. Eventually she turned twenty, our Susan, and priorities shifted again. Don came into her life---and soon we were planning a wedding. Happy happy days---for all of us!
It was on the eve of our departure for Manti, Utah, where in the Temple of her choice, she would marry her sweetheart. We were outside, enjoying the warm June evening, when it occurred to me now was the time to confess my deception. "There is something I need to tell you." She listened incredulously! "What!" "You mean that isn't my baby?" With only a moments hesitation she marched right over and with a firm kick on her precious willow, she said "You phony!" You are NOT my baby!"---and turned her back and happily entered into a new phase of her life.
Parenting is so tricky. We made our mistakes---but our relationship with Susan remains healthy and strong. Would I repeat that deception if I had a second chance? The truth is I probably would. I am not perfect. Only next time I would help her find a better location! The tree came down and the house was repaired. We laughed about it then and she and I laugh about it now. A sense of humor may not be necessary in raising a family---but it sure helps!
The poet says:
Oh what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive.
I learned for myself the truth of that poem. More than a few times I have been confronted with telling the truth or changing the facts to better suit my objective.Then into my mind comes a picture of that miserable willow tree---and the way is clear. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! In the long run it is so much easier!
Pages 105 - 108
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