What to look for in a certified counselor

Qualification

A certified counselor should have a license to work that capacity from the state or federal government. Having a master’s degree in marriage counseling could be an added advantage. S/he should have relevant experience in binding the relations than breaking them apart. It’s for the simple reason that if you wanted a breakup, you will go to a divorce counselor. S/he should be well versed in understanding human psychology and psychiatric therapies.

Honesty is the Key

Honesty is the key element that makes a counselor so special in rebuilding relations. S/he is not here to please your ego or that of your spouse. S/he is not here to break your individuality into shreds either. S/he is here for you to tell you how to accept each other as you are and make efforts to change yourself alone. Simply speaking s/he should be able to install a mirror in each other’s heart which reflects the other’s hopes and aspirations. 

But how will you know that s/he has that characteristic. Read reviews, comments, testimonials, and feedback from the existing clients. If you are a man, it is better to read the female clients’ testimonials and vice versa. Then you will know how honest and effective s/he has been.

A marriage counselor will ask you to make a list of not only your spouse’s mistakes but also yours. Initially, you may feel offended (just like your spouse). Acceptance may not be easy and it could be painful. An expert counselor may heal the pain and transform your thinking into the mode of acceptance. Once you feel that s/he can be successful with you, the probability of transforming your spouse’s thinking is also very high. Having a conversation in the first session will tell you whether the counselor has such ability.

Understanding and Communication

A counselor should be able to establish the channel of communication with each other after a few sessions of individual consultations. It is possible only when s/he has a deeper understanding of the male and female psychological approach to relations.

It is possible to do it only when she has a certification in marriage psychology or the relevant experience in years (though not in decades). The recommended way to determine that is by having the one-on-one conversation with the counselor.  You will be able to gauge the experience, efficiency, and effectiveness within a few minutes.

Specialization and Experience

 Having the qualification is the foundation for being your counselor. Specialization in marriage and human psychology is the added virtue. Experience is the key criterion.

Approach:  The approach of a counselor will tell you a lot about the way in which s/he handles the finest thread of relationships with care. You need to focus highly on this aspect. It is because fixing a marriage is more than repairing the wheel alignment and engine of your automobile. It needs a humane approach.

 Patience: A certified counselor should have patience and persistence to pursue a problematic situation, condition, attitude, and approach from both of you. One or two sessions with the counselor will make you clear about all the aspects other than qualifications and experience.