Michael Strezinski

----- Original Message -----

From: Steve Locks <Steve Locks>

To: Michael Strezinski

Sent: 16 January 2000 20:03

Subject: Re: Footprints

Hello Mike,

Thank you for your email. Your remarks are similar to some that I have

received before and I will try and make myself clearer both in this email and

by making an adjustment to my story soon. Also, don't worry - I'm not

interested in confrontation or debate either, just communication. I've also

just come to the end of a long debate and I've got a bit of debate

exhaustion!

If you read my site carefully you will see that I did not have any

significant bad experiences of Christianity when I was a Christian. I think

that is an important point that I make a few times in my site. Neither was

I a believer in hell or noticed that much hell-belief in the Christians

around me for the vast majority of my time as a Christian. So I really

don't have a sour reaction that you suspect. I did worry that the

concept exists at all within Christianity though, but even if it did not,

I still would have left Christianity due to the material I read and the

internal problems and concepts I saw within Christian theology.

I have only a few stories from people who did have really bad experiences.

There was a message on the "ex-tian" (i.e. ex-Christian) mailing list from

someone who was surprised that so many of us had good experiences, as she

didn't. So I think leaving Christianity due to a bad experience or disgust at

a certain preacher etc, although it happens, is relatively rare. It is

certainly not why I left, too.

Others may think I did not understand the problems with Christianity

properly and of course there is much debate all over the Internet about

whether these invalidate Christianity or not. This is not something I wish

to get into with you, rather just explain that my reasons for leaving were

not as you suggested.

I would also like to point out that I cannot believe things out of "choice."

I can only believe things that convince me - and after considerable research

and thinking, Christianity no longer convinced me that it is true, but rather

I became convinced that it was not true. I can assure you that it was a

moment of great shock and sadness for me initially, and something that very

few Christians imagine will (or even could) happen to them. However, it was

not possible to consciously will myself to believe something which became

untenable. As I mention on my site, I then became surprised to find that an

alternative world-view, without Christianity, was so enriching, which

certainly wasn't what I was expecting.

Also I don't categorise all of Christianity as shallow. I have many Christian

friends who I get on with very well and like immensely. I certainly hope I am

not a religious "racist". I go to dinner with my Christian friends and we

play with each others' children, exchange gifts, go to the pub etc, all the

usual friendly stuff. You will see that the first site I link to in my main

links section is the Ontario Consultants on religious tolerance. I also

still occasionally read the likes of Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Thomas

Merton for their general thoughts and thoughtfulness.

On my site, I am not trying to upset Christians, although I will engage in

dialogue if asked and speak frankly because otherwise it seems like

censorship of thought. Mostly though, I am trying to describe what it

is like to leave Christianity and why people do. I'm sure if you read

my writings you will get a better impression of my true feelings which

are not the way you have characterised them.

I am sorry if my site upset you in some way. I have tried very carefully

to be fair on my site which is a lot less scornful than some of the other

sites critical of Christianity that you may find.

All my writings can be found via the links that you can find in the "Part 1"

section just after the preface, the rest are external links.

Thanks for your question, it is a frequently asked one and so I have answered

with a moderately full reply so that I can refer people to it in the future.

In summary, it was mainly reading of psychology, comparative religion,

history and thinking through some knotty problems that lead to my

deconversion, not a bad experience.

Best wishes,

Steve

----------------

Leaving Christianity (hundreds of deconversion stories):

www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~slocks/decon.html