Fox

Live and Let Die

Team Canon: Fox (Caeseria)

Story Notes:

Prompt: Ghosts

Rating: NC-17

Pairing(s): Kakashi/Iruka

Summary: While injured on a mission, Kakashi spends time with a clone Iruka has left behind to watch over him. Kakashi has always been surrounded by the ghosts of his past but now, he must also learn to face the ghosts of the present.

Word Count: 7,967

Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who looked this over for me, and of course to all the mods for hosting another awesome fest!

Shit is going to hit the fan, big time. Bigger than the usual pile of shit Kakashi manages to get himself into. He knows this, even as he pulls Iruka into the cover of a large tree and kisses him like it's the end of the world. Iruka makes a little sound, part annoyance, part regret, and part growing excitement. They are close enough to Konoha's main gate that Kakashi is sure someone will see. After a few moments, he pulls away reluctantly. His fingers are shaking – hell, his whole body feels tight with growing arousal. He could go again, he knows it. Iruka knows it too, judging by the look on his face. Iruka smirks in what Kakashi has grown to term Iruka's evil face, and drops to his knees before Kakashi.

Yep, shit is going to hit the fan, hard. Just as soon as Kakashi gets off (and oh my god, where the fuck did Iruka learn to do that with his tongue?) and hands in his mission report.

In actual fact, Kakashi thinks, in the second before he comes, Iruka might very well kill him.

Nine Days Ago

Kakashi's head is spinning. I'm dangerously close to chakra depletion, he thinks. Iruka's handsome face, tinted with worry, is starting to blur before his eyes. I'm dangerously close to chakra depletion and if I die, I won't be able to tell Iruka how I feel about him.

"I'll create a couple of clones to draw off the enemy, Kakashi-san. There are too many of them for us to deal with alone."

"Huh?" I think I want to fuck you, Iruka. Nice and slow. Hell, maybe I even want to date you, which would be a first for me.

"Kakashi-san?" Iruka's voice is laced with concern. He's out of breath – all that running and fighting – and its clear Iruka is trying to come up with a plan, something that will get them out of this situation. Kakashi needs to pull himself together fast, before he gets them both killed.

"I'll do it," Kakashi says. "We need to get that damn scroll to Konoha."

Iruka frowns, reaches out a hand as if he's going to touch Kakashi's face, and then lets it drop to his side, like a missed opportunity. Kakashi's had enough of those to last a lifetime.

"You don't have enough chakra and you're bleeding," Iruka points out.

Despite the pain, he's almost forgotten about the wound in his thigh. He's used to injury, to working around it. All he really wants to do is lean forward into Iruka's shoulder and rest.

"Kakashi-san." Iruka's voice cuts through Kakashi's haze.

"Fine." Kakashi pulls himself together with difficulty. "How many can you create?"

"Three at most. That is, if you want convincing clones."

Iruka pulls out his first-aid kit and kneels before Kakashi. He pulls out a length of bandage and wraps it around Kakashi's thigh, starting from below the wound and working his way up, binding tightly. Kakashi's winces; Iruka's good at field-dressings and this won't come loose when they take up the fight again.

"Okay." Kakashi nods and Iruka packs away the kit, storing it in his backpack. Iruka starts to form hand seals and in a split second, Kakashi is surrounded by four Irukas, all watching him with suspicious concern.

Kakashi tests his weight on his leg, deems himself as ready as he ever will be for what is to come. "I want you to split in four directions. Do your clones know the contents of the scroll in case something happens to one of us?"

"Yes, but I think we should stay together, Kakashi-san. It's not fair to depend upon your skills to fight off our remaining pursuers."

"No." The longer Kakashi can stay in the fight, the easier it will be for Iruka to reach home. "It makes more tactical sense for you to head for Konoha, Iruka," he says. "Leave the clones to fight with me. They'll make a good distraction for the enemy. It doesn't matter if they get killed."

Iruka looks like he's going to argue, then closes his mouth. "I suppose so. Very well, I'll do as you say. Use the clones as you see fit; they can do everything I can and know everything I know."

"Good."

Iruka pauses as if he wants to say something else. Kakashi can see Iruka's left hand fisting shut, as if he was going to reach for something and had changed his mind. "May the soles of your feet be firm, Kakashi-san," Iruka finally says before turning and leaping into a nearby tree, disappearing from view.

Kakashi eyes the three clones he's been left with. Usually he'd make a perverted comment, because seeing three Irukas blush would be well worth it, but he needs to conserve his strength for the fight.

He uses field-signs to give instructions to Iruka's clones, because he knows the enemy is close. He can feel it like a tingle down his spine, warning of danger. He gives the sign for 'scatter' and all four of them vanish into the forest.

*****************

It feels like they've been running for days when in actual fact, it's probably only hours. Kakashi's lost count of how many enemy shinobi they've fought. The battle has become a blur of cast jutsu, lethal steel, and anonymous screaming faces; faces that Kakashi can't remember now but will when he wakes months from now, gasping for air, bed sheets soaked with his own sweat.

Iruka's remaining clone has been steadily trying to draw them clear of the fight, using a combination of tactics, clever traps and his own skill with a blade. If they can get far enough from their pursuers they can go to ground. Kakashi pushes down the thought that only cornered prey goes to ground – a good shinobi follows his instincts, and Kakashi trusts Iruka (and his clone) enough to know when those instincts say hide and live to fight another day.

The clone seems to have some kind of plan. Kakashi follows Iruka, making sure they are not being pursued, alert to any sudden attacks from their rear or flank. Eventually, Iruka drops from the cover of the trees and begins to half-slide, half-fall down a steep bank. Kakashi can hear running water ahead, instantly recognizing that Iruka intends to use the river to disguise both their scent and tracks from their hunters.

When he reaches the river, it takes Kakashi precious moments to recognize where they are.

"No. Not here." The words are out before Kakashi can stop them – he blames it on the fatigue. He knows this place; it's burnt into his memories like a brand, a half-healed wound. For years he's consciously avoided this place in particular, even to the point of diverting his teams around the location rather than have to face his memories.

His knees buckle at the same time his chakra flickers out. One moment he's standing on the water and the next he's sinking knee-deep into it, his feet stumbling on the rocky bottom. Iruka's clone is there immediately, ducking under Kakashi's arm and tightening his hand around Kakashi's waist, shifting his weight onto his shoulder.

"Kakashi-san, we have to rest. There's a cave behind that waterfall. We'll be safe inside."

Kakashi knows there is a cave behind that waterfall. Lifetimes ago, Team Minato had rested there the night before they split up – Minato for the front lines and the rest of the team, with Kakashi, heading for Kannabi Bridge. There are ghosts here; they surround Kakashi, whispering at him of lost chances, lost lives. Kakashi doesn't want to rest with ghosts, even if they were his friends.

In the end, Kakashi's wounded leg gives out on him, plunging him waist deep in the water, and Iruka's clone has to half-drag, half-pull Kakashi under the waterfall. They emerge on the other side, wet and tired, and the clone helps Kakashi down until he can lean against the back wall. He watches the water thunder from above, the spray soaking the ground inches from his feet. Kakashi closes his eyes and sleeps, despite his ghosts.

*****************

When Kakashi wakes, it is night. The clone has lit a small fire off to one side and is busy sorting through a med-pack. Kakashi notices the clone has all of Iruka's fussy mannerisms and even his aura of intense concentration as he works. Kakashi wonders how far the real Iruka has gotten; he's obviously still alive, because his clone is still here. That's good enough for Kakashi's peace of mind and he lets his eyes shut and falls into sleep.

Eight Days Ago

"Iruka, where are my clothes?"

Iruka looks over at Kakashi and blushes. He seems flustered. "Ah, Kakashi-san, we were both wet from the water yesterday and I needed to tend to your wounds, so I took them off. They're drying by the fire."

Kakashi manages to find the energy to raise an eyebrow. "Then why're you dressed?"

"My clothes are dry." The clone makes an expression Kakashi has never seen before on the real Iruka; a sort of furtive guilty expression that dares Kakashi to contradict his logic.

"Can I have my pants back?" he finally says when Iruka doesn't move from the fire. "I'm kinda feeling vulnerable here in just my underwear."

Iruka grins. "Okay. But you'll have to take them off again when I change your dressings." Iruka retrieves the pants and hands them to Kakashi.

Kakashi struggles into a sitting position and starts to ease into his pants. He's hampered by the bandage around his thigh and his movements are stiff because apparently, he's also got a bandage around his ribs which hurt like a son-of-a-bitch if he moves the wrong way.

"I think someone tried to gut you during the fight," Iruka offers by way of explanation. "You were lucky."

Kakashi finally gets his pants over his hips but can't find the energy to button them up. Iruka has already seen the majority of what he's got on offer apparently, so there doesn't seem much point in trying to be modest.

"Anything else you did while I was unconscious that I should know about? I'd hate to have missed something exciting," Kakashi deadpans.

"Don't be ridiculous! As if I'd take advantage of a fellow shinobi!"

Ah, there was that righteous indignation Kakashi had been missing. "So, you're saying if I weren't a fellow shinobi you'd have taken advantage? Advantage of what, Iruka-kun?"

"You – you – damn it!" Iruka stands up and pulls out a kunai. "I'm going fishing. You need to eat something other than blood pills and ration bars."

Kakashi watches the clone stalk toward the entrance and disappear through the wall of water. The cave seems empty without Iruka's clone around; a little colder, darker. The sunlight sparkles through the waterfall, but doesn't reach Kakashi. He can hear his ghosts, whispering just out of earshot. He can see a vague outline of his sensei, Minato, weapons laid out, checking last minute details. Rin, warming her hands by the fire, glancing shyly over at Kakashi, like she always used to. Obito is sitting next to Kakashi, wearing those stupid goggles. Ghosts, all of them. Long gone now.

[You're playing with fire, Kakashi] Obito's words seem sharp in his head. Kakashi only usually hears Obito this clearly when he's at the memorial stone: the rest of the time his voice seems indistinct and vague.

I don't know what you mean, Kakashi hedges. Obito is just an illusion anyway; a fever dream brought on by his wounds. This conversation doesn't matter.

[It does matter. He's a ghost, an unreality. He's not the real Iruka]

Kakashi shifts and leans against the wall, trying to get comfortable. He's going to fall asleep again soon; he can feel his ever-present lethargy returning. I know he's not the real Iruka; he's a clone. Clones are a mirror image of the real person. That clone is acting just like Iruka would if he was here.

[You always managed to twist your own logic to suit your own goals] Obito pulls off his goggles and rubs his eyes. He looks weary, as if he's tired of existing just for Kakashi.

So what if he's not real? Take what you can while you can, isn't that the shinobi way? Kakashi watches Minato so he doesn't have to look at Obito. Ghost or not, this is an uncomfortable conversation.

[So you're going to do it anyway? What are you going to do when that clone disperses? Iruka is going to have all its memories]

Kakashi isn't stupid; far from it. When Iruka's clone dissipates, Iruka will have all his clone's memories. He knows he is playing with fire; laying his emotions out for the real Iruka to see, showing his true self. He hasn't shown anyone his true self in years. If ever.

I don't care if he's a ghost. What's wrong with spending time with another ghost, an apparition of a real person? One he can explain his actions to – later. Kakashi knows this Iruka isn't real; it's a clone. The word clone implied it was a copy of a real person, the real thing. If this was Iruka, stuck in a cave with Kakashi's clone, it would still be Kakashi. It would be something that held Kakashi's memories, his joy and his pain. His ethics. His guilt.

This was still Iruka.

What was wrong with that?

I can deal with the larger problems later, Obito. Kakashi doesn't have the energy to remain upright any longer. He lets his body weight carry him to the side, down to the ground. Iruka 's clone has given Kakashi his own bedroll so he doesn't have to sleep on the rocky floor. Kakashi will think about that small sacrifice later, when he's not so tired.

*****************

Kakashi is dozing when Iruka returns. It's been hours since Iruka left and Kakashi was starting to worry he'd run afoul of an enemy search party. Iruka's hair is soaking wet, along with his uniform. He watches as Iruka drops three gutted fish next to the fire, and pushes his hair off of his face. He glances over at Kakashi, sees a sleeping shinobi and, apparently satisfied, pulls off his shirt. The sun has dropped below the skyline now, and the glow from the fire highlights Iruka's tanned skin, turning it a caramel color in the flickering light.

Kakashi's mouth goes dry and he fights not to shift on his bedroll, to show he's awake. He feels more alive than he's felt in a while, his body stirring at the sight before him. Iruka unbuttons his pants and pulls down the zipper; all economy of movement, no gesture out of place. This is what he's like when he's alone, Kakashi thinks. Iruka's not trying to impress, he's simply being… Iruka.

Iruka pushes down his wet pants over his hips, revealing a taut stomach and shadows at his hipbones. Kakashi knows Iruka's skin will be soft there, sensitive where it meets the waistband of his underwear. Kakashi wants to bury his face at the junction of hip and belly and breathe Iruka's scent, place kisses over his skin.

Iruka pulls off his pants and lays them out to dry. He glances back at Kakashi. "Are you awake?" he says in a hushed voice.

No point now in pretending. Kakashi stirs, as if he's just waking up. "Hm?"

"Oh, good. I caught us some fish." Iruka smiles and walks toward Kakashi, kneeling beside him. "Are you up to eating?"

Kakashi nods, prays that Iruka doesn't notice he's half-hard with arousal. Iruka reaches out, runs a tentative hand across Kakashi's abdomen, up over the bandage. Kakashi forces himself not to react, although his whole body wants to shiver at the sensation. "Let me get the fish cooking, and then we can change your bandages."

"Later." Kakashi takes Iruka's hand, which has come to rest on his chest. "Eat first; I need to get some strength back." Better to change the bandages later, when Kakashi's erection has subsided and he can force his body not to react to Iruka's closeness.

Iruka looks down at where his hand rests in Kakashi's. He seems reluctant to pull away, but he does. "I'll get the fish started, then," he says with a confused, hesitant smile.

Kakashi enjoys the view as Iruka walks away, admiring his tight ass encased in revealing, wet underwear. He suddenly has a reason to get better. He hopes it doesn't take too long.

Six Days Ago

"I'm bored, Iruka-kun," Kakashi whines.

Iruka looks up from where he's rolling bandages. He looks very… domestic. "Well, read your book."

"I finished it. Amuse me instead."

Iruka laughs and puts the bandages to one side. "Fine. We can play charades. There's really nothing else to do except play games until you get better."

Games. That sounds interesting, Kakashi thinks. He can think of a few adult ones right off the top of his head. "Charades?"

"Yes, Kakashi. Charades." Iruka's look is enough to make Kakashi grin.

"Okay, you go first."

Iruka thinks for a moment and then holds up three fingers.

"Three words."

Iruka nods and flattens his palms together, opening them at the wrist.

"A book. Icha Icha!"

Iruka rolls his eyes. "That's two words and you are trying my patience on purpose. I know you're smarter than that, Kakashi."

"And you are not supposed to speak. You're breaking the rules."

"Shut up, Kakashi-san."

"Yes, sensei," Kakashi laughs. He loves to rile Iruka up; it's too much fun not to. He's discovering Iruka is a wealth of contradictions, endlessly interesting and amusing. Sometimes, like now, he's almost child-like and at other times, he seems to carry the burden of ages within him.

[And he's a ghost,] says Obito's voice. [He's a ghost like me]

"Kakashi, if you're not going to pay attention, I can find something else to do."

Kakashi drags himself back to the present. He watches as Iruka begins to mime something – Kakashi has no idea what. He watches Iruka's hands move rapidly.

Kakashi thinks for a moment and then says, "You know, in shinobi field shorthand, you just said: The target is fucking a goat."

Iruka turns a brilliant shade of beet red. "I did not!" he exclaims. He drops his hands and sits on them like a child about to face punishment.

"You did."

"There is no such word for 'fucking' in field shorthand."

Kakashi forms his fingers into a rather graphic sign – one Iruka instantly recognizes as one he's just made. "Yes, there is. You've obviously never been on a mission that required its use."

"You're lying."

"Ask Raidou. He'll tell you." Kakashi leers. Iruka is still a lovely shade of red, although he's trying not to smile. "Want me to teach you what fellatio is in field shorthand?" he offers.

Iruka, predictably, turns him down. "I’m not playing with you anymore," he says in a sulky voice laced with amusement.

"Maa, sensei, not fair. I'm a lot of fun to play with."

Iruka turns red again: he's blushing. Interesting, Kakashi thinks.

Four Days Ago

Kakashi thinks he may be going insane. He's feeling much better, his wounds are healing, and he's actually managed to get outside a couple of times and sit on the edge of the river bank to watch Iruka fish. He's feeling closed in; the cave, while pleasant as far as caves go, is not home. It's not outdoors, where Kakashi likes to be, and it's not Konoha. They are still stuck in hostile territory, with the ever-present danger that a search party may come across their hiding spot. The cave has no exit other than through the waterfall, and while that makes defending it easier, it also makes dying while trapped inside an unwelcome but very real prospect.

Obito's ghost has retreated, now he's realized Kakashi's fixated on Iruka's clone and is not going to change his mind. Instead, Kakashi is plagued with a new problem – one that also happens to be Iruka's clone.

The clone is currently rewrapping Kakashi's bandage on his thigh. This means Kakashi is once again half-naked, half-aroused and fighting not to show it. Insanity is looking pretty good right now, he thinks. Then I wouldn't have to worry about trying to hide my reaction.

Iruka's fingers smooth the bandage as he wraps it, one hand resting on the sensitive skin of Kakashi's inner thigh to hold it in place. Kakashi can feel the heat from Iruka's hand as it rests heavy on his thigh. It feels like a brand, burning his skin. He shifts slightly and Iruka's fingers creep closer to the edge of Kakashi's underwear. Iruka doesn't notice; he's fixated on wrapping the bandage, probably aiming for perfection. Iruka's like that; he doesn't do anything unless he can do it to the best of his ability. Kakashi wonders what it would feel like if Iruka sucked his cock, putting all that enthusiasm toward the perfect blow job.

Iruka finishes tying off the bandage and pats it absent-mindedly. "All done. How are your ribs? Do you need me to redo that for you as well?"

Kakashi takes a deep breath. "Fine. Don't worry about it now." His voice sounds husky, breathless. Iruka looks concerned and stares at Kakashi for a moment before color dusts his cheekbones a pale pink.

He knows. Kakashi realizes this in a sudden rush that makes him feel lightheaded. He knows and he's been ignoring my attraction to him. Kakashi reaches out a hand and lays it gently on Iruka's cheek, fingers caressing Iruka's jaw. "Iruka –"

"Kakashi, I'm a clone. What you think you feel is for someone else, not for me." The words come out in a rush, tumbling one over the other.

"Does that bother you?" Kakashi frowns.

Iruka looks away, but doesn't brush Kakashi's hand from his cheek. "No. Maybe. I don't know."

Kakashi takes a mental deep breath before he speaks. "I'm attracted to the real Iruka, yes. But I also feel strongly about you. You're still a person, even if you are a copy, Iruka. I hope that the real Iruka realizes this when… when you disappear. I hope he knows that if it were him, here with me now, I'd act the same way as I do with you."

Iruka nods, as if he understands what Kakashi is trying to say in his own garbled fashion.

Kakashi hesitates, not sure if he's been given permission to proceed or not. Iruka solves the problem for him, leaning forward and pulling down the mask, pressing dry, nervous lips to Kakashi's. He pulls back and Kakashi licks his lips, savoring Iruka's taste. He moves his hand from Iruka's jaw and cups the back of his neck, leaning in again, deepening the kiss. Iruka parts his lips, letting Kakashi take control. Iruka makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a moan and Kakashi's reason shatters. Whether this is the real Iruka or not, he needs him. Needs to feel this lithe, strong body pressed against him. It doesn't have to be sex; he'll take what he can get.

Obito is strangely silent, and for the first time that he can remember, Kakashi is free from the ghosts of his past.

Three Days Ago

They're moving through the forest, Iruka keeping pace just behind him, moving silently. Moving slower than Kakashi would like, but his wounds are still healing. If they take the shortest route, they'll be home in three days. Three days to think of a way to explain this turn of events to the real Iruka and three days to enjoy the time that he has left with Iruka's clone.

Shit is going to hit the fan. Kakashi knows this as well as he knows his thousand jutsu. The real Iruka is not going to take it well, and there's going to be fallout. Ninety percent of Kakashi cares deeply about that; cares that the growing friendship and hesitant attraction he'd had with Iruka before the fight is probably going to disappear. Instead, he'll be confronted by the Iruka he knew from before this mission, the Iruka that stood up for what he believed in, the Iruka that fought for Team Seven and faced down an entire room of jounin, the Hokage, and a bunch of visiting dignitaries just to get his point across. The other ten percent is enjoying the post-coital glow he has going, because damn, that was mind-blowing sex he had last night. Iruka is still blushing, and Kakashi is still riding the high.

Iruka draws level with Kakashi and grins. This is a new grin, one that's slightly perverted – a grin that promises a lot more if Kakashi will just stop for a moment and take a break.

He's thinking it's an excellent suggestion, right up until he recognizes the area they're passing through. Sure, things have changed over the years, but Kakashi knows that particular tree branch, gouged with a long line of broken, splintered wood. He recognizes that hill, those trees, although they are taller now. He stops abruptly, dropping to the ground despite the danger of discovery.

"Kakashi? What's wrong?" Iruka lands silently beside him and pauses, as if he realizes Kakashi is in the grip of some deep hurt from the past.

Kakashi recognizes the heap of jumbled stones and the massive boulders. Once, they made up the roof of a cave; a cave in which Rin had been held captive, and where Obito had lost his life.

"Kakashi?"

Kakashi reaches out, fumbling for Iruka's hand. He needs the human contact, warm skin against his own. He needs to be grounded in reality. "Sorry," Kakashi starts, unable to continue. He feels like he's swallowed a rock; it's blocking his throat so he can't speak and his eyes prick with sudden, unshed tears. He has absolutely no idea how to react to the situation, which makes the whole thing worse. He's totally out of his depth.

Iruka squeezes his hand gently, as if to say, I don't understand, but I am here for you.

After long moments, Kakashi finds his voice again. "Do you know how I got the sharingan?"

Iruka shakes his head. Kakashi risks a glance at him. He doesn't want to see pity written across Iruka's features. Instead, he's glad to see that Iruka looks confused, but understanding. All shinobi have secrets.

"My first mission as a jounin was during the Third Shinobi World War. My team – Minato-sensei, Rin and Obito – was supposed to take out Kannabi Bridge, to cut off the enemy's supply lines. I took over as team captain when Minato-sensei returned to the front lines." Kakashi pauses, looking away from Iruka. "I was an overbearing idiot. Rin was kidnapped by Iwagakure shinobi. Obito and I ... we weren't friends. I thought he was a crybaby and he thought I was a stickler for the rules. I called him a coward, but ... he wanted to rescue Rin. I wanted to continue the mission."

"What happened?" Iruka's voice is hushed, as if he knows what Kakashi is going to say next.

"We split up. Obito went back to rescue Rin. He made me see I was wrong, and I lost my left eye to one of the enemy shinobi, defending him. We got Rin free, but the Iwagakure nin used an earth jutsu and collapsed the cave. Obito threw me free of falling rocks I couldn't see and was crushed in the process."

"I’m sorry, Kakashi." Iruka's eyes are bright with tears that Kakashi, even now, can't shed.

Kakashi takes a deep breath and squeezes Iruka's hand. "His last act was to give me his sharingan. His body is under the pile of rocks over there."

"Do you want to say goodbye?" Iruka asks. Not, do you want to see if there's still a body.

"No." Kakashi shakes his head. He lets go of Iruka's hand and lifts his hitai-ate. The world blossoms into strange colors and shapes as the sharingan whirls, showing Kakashi what Obito would have seen. The space around Kakashi is beautiful, shining with new color, the chakra in every living thing shimmering softly. Iruka is beautiful too, another facet in the jewel that surrounds Kakashi. He glows with Iruka's chakra, but at the same time is not Iruka. A dichotomy, like yin and yang.

When Kakashi turns toward the rocks – almost reluctantly – no chakra glows, but Kakashi is glad of that. Obito is dead; he is simply a dearly beloved ghost, nothing more.

Reluctantly, Kakashi pulls down his hitai-ate and takes hold of Iruka's hand once more. "Let's go, shall we?"

Iruka smiles. "Yes, let's go home."

Two Days Ago

Kakashi can tell they're into Fire Country now: the air is more humid, a little warmer. The strong winds that cut through Grass Country like a scythe are gone, replaced instead with mild breezes that smell of home. As darkness approaches, it begins to rain. It's wet enough to take shelter under an old tree, its boughs and trunk twisted out to form a refuge of sorts. Plate-sized leaves take the brunt of the rain and divert it away so they can rest in relative comfort. The rain will also wash away their tracks and scent, and, although Kakashi hasn't felt any kind of pursuit for hours now, he's still on guard.

Iruka returns from setting what look to be a few nasty traps around the area and sits down next to him, sliding close enough that his side brushes up against Kakashi's. Iruka's proximity doesn't seem strange anymore. Once, Kakashi would have avoided this kind of unnecessary contact with another person, but this feels natural. He lets Iruka snuggle in and wraps his arm around his waist, his hand resting comfortably on Iruka's hip.

Kakashi dozes for a while, making the most of the time they can rest. He's not stupid enough to think their pursuers have vanished completely; in fact, he expects them to make one last desperate attempt to locate the scroll. Shame it's already in Konoha, he thinks. Iruka's clone is still here, which means the real Iruka has made it home safely. It's a relief to know that Iruka's safe, probably resting up or maybe even having ramen with Naruto at Ichiraku's.

Rain drips in a steady pattern down the leaves, and Kakashi almost misses Iruka's hushed comment.

"Hmm?" Kakashi turns his head so he can see Iruka's face.

Iruka twists his body so that he's pressed tightly against Kakashi's uninjured side and meets Kakashi's eyes. His hair is down, falling in a cool wave against Kakashi's shoulder. "Shall I tell you a secret?" he says.

Kakashi tries to decide if Iruka is flirting or not. No, he doesn't think so. Iruka's expression is serious. "If you tell me, it's not a secret, is it?" he replies, trying for levity.

Iruka twists a little more until he's almost facing Kakashi and slides into his lap, straddling his good leg. He places one hand on Kakashi's shoulder and leans in until his chest is flush with Kakashi's. "He likes you just a little bit," Iruka whispers into Kakashi's ear.

He is obviously meant to refer to the other Iruka; the real one.

"I'll tell you another secret," Iruka continues. He slides his hand under Kakashi's shirt, fingers caressing bare skin. Iruka places a gentle kiss just below Kakashi's ear and it sends a tingle of pleasure down Kakashi's spine. "I like you a lot."

"Why are you telling me this, Iruka?" Kakashi tries to turn his head, but Iruka is nuzzling into his neck and his other hand is slipping lower, down over Kakashi's quivering stomach muscles, underneath the waistband of his pants. Kakashi spreads his legs automatically, rolling his hips to meet Iruka's hand, his breath starting to quicken as Iruka presses his palm against Kakashi's half-hard cock

.

"He's liked you for a long time," Iruka continues, "but he doesn't know what to do about it. He doesn't know if you feel the same way. You keep people at a distance and it confuses him. You give off mixed signals."

Iruka's voice is hypnotic, strangely soothing. He works his hand over Kakashi's cock, coaxing him to full arousal and then to almost painful hardness. His breath comes in sharp gasps, echoing Kakashi's, and Kakashi thinks this Iruka is just a little bit manipulative in all the right ways, and he wonders if the real Iruka is the same.

"Consider this my gift to you both before I leave," Iruka continues. He shifts in Kakashi's lap until he's straddling Kakashi, knees pressed tight against Kakashi's hips. He presses his cock against Kakashi's hip, grinding down.

Kakashi's body is beginning to shake with fine tremors and he can't think properly. His mind is buzzing with thoughts, trying to understand what Iruka is trying to tell him. Iruka has Kakashi's pants undone now, has pushed down his own. Kakashi gasps and rolls his hips when Iruka uses his spit to slick Kakashi's erection. He slides down slowly on Kakashi's cock. Kakashi grips Iruka's waist to steady his descent, then pulls him close, wrapping his arms around Iruka.

"Consider me a bridge between you both," Iruka gasps as Kakashi pushes up into his tight heat. "A way for you to communicate – ah, yes. That's good."

Kakashi grips Iruka by the shoulder, pulling him down even as he thrusts up. Iruka's body welcomes him eagerly, gripping him tight. Kakashi leans into Iruka's neck, breathing deeply, mouth open against Iruka's skin. They are moving slowly, rocking into each other, and the pleasure is so intense it's almost unbearable.

"Promise me you'll talk to him," Iruka says, his voice shaky. "Promise, Kakashi. Don't give this up for pride or fear."

"Promise," Kakashi gasps. He pulls Iruka down onto his cock, feels Iruka's body spasm with the first throes of orgasm, his come warm against Kakashi's stomach. Iruka kisses him hard, all tongue and teeth, and Kakashi can't help but cry out as he comes. That's never happened before; for the first time, Kakashi has let go enough to show his true feelings to another person. It's both terrifying and exciting, as is the thought of what might happen when he reaches Konoha. Iruka's clone has become his support, and he won't have that once he walks through those gates.

"Promise me," Iruka mumbles, his breathing evening out as he relaxes. His head rests heavy on Kakashi's shoulder and Kakashi can tell he's drifting toward sleep. Kakashi shifts, laying them both down on the springy grass and ignoring the fact that his pants are still half way down his hips – as are Iruka's. Iruka's words are a revelation; he'd always assumed Iruka was shy, not that he was fighting to understand his own attraction to Kakashi and Kakashi's reactions to him.

It takes Kakashi a long time to fall asleep, even with Iruka's warmth pressed against him.

This Afternoon

Kakashi's on his way to the mission room. He's filled out his paperwork, and is taking a leisurely walk along the main street. Shortly after his mind-blowing orgasm outside the main gates this morning, Iruka had given him a final, meaningful kiss, wished him the best of luck, and vanished. Kakashi already misses him, although the thought of dealing with the fall-out from the real Iruka is making him nervous and excited both at the same time.

"Oi, Kakashi."

Kakashi stops and turns around slowly. "Yo, Genma." Kakashi's willing to spend time talking to Genma because that’s time he's not spending handing in his report. Kakashi hopes Iruka wasn't anywhere public when his clone's memories returned to him. Kakashi uses clones a lot, but then again, his clones have never had sex. He's never had to find out exactly what happens when a person is hit with the memories of a couple of really outstanding orgasms all at once.

"Just got back from the mission?" Genma asks. He looks slightly shifty and Kakashi is pretty sure he knows why.

"Yeah," Kakashi hedges. "With Iruka. Had to split up; got chased down by a group of enemy nin and had to make a run for it."

"Iruka got back about three days ago," Genma offers. "By the way, he's pissed at you. Actually, pissed isn't the word I'd use."

"Oh?"

Genma's shit-eating grin is definitely making Kakashi nervous. "Yeah, I think he's out for your blood. Something happened this morning, but he's not saying what. Something about never being able to show his face again at the onsen. Ibiki's acting weird too, come to think of it."

"Really?" This can't be good.

Genma chews reflectively on his senbon. He tilts his head and gives Kakashi a calculating stare. "Yeah, really. Listen, you may wanna lie low for a few days. You know how Iruka can be."

"Good idea. You know, I still don't feel right," Kakashi lies. "Perhaps I'll check into the hospital, just to get things looked at." Iruka probably won't look for me there. Everyone knows I hate hospitals.

"You mean Iruka's clone didn't take care of your wounds for you?"

"Bastard," Kakashi gripes.

"Hey, I know nothing." Genma holds up his hands, trying to look innocent and totally failing. "But Kotetsu was working gate duty this morning and may have seen something interesting. You wanna share?"

"No. Now fuck off and leave me alone."

Genma grins and gives a little wave. "Sure thing. Enjoy your stay at the hospital. Want me to tell Iruka where you are?"

Kakashi flips Genma the finger and disappears in a flash of smoke.

*****************

"You – you interfered with my clone, you fucking bastard!"

Kakashi wakes from a deep sleep. It's not Iruka's dulcet tones that wake him, but rather that his head is bobbling about on his shoulders and is in very real danger of coming right off. Iruka has a tight grip on the front of Kakashi's flimsy hospital gown and is shaking Kakashi like a cheap slot machine that refuses to pay out.

"I leave you with my clone and you corrupt it! Fuck, you fucking prick!"

Iruka stops shaking long enough for Kakashi to reply, "I had no idea you even knew swear words like that, Iruka-sensei."

Kakashi knows he's using humor to deflect Iruka's anger, but he can't help himself. He's just woken up and Iruka has thrown him for a loop, leaving Kakashi floundering for ways to explain himself. He hadn't quite imagined the conversation was going to go like this – actually, he's not sure what he expected, but he at least hoped to have his reasoning worked out enough so that he could explain things properly to Iruka.

"Don't change the subject! What the fuck did you do to my clone? No, don’t answer that, I know what you did to my clone." Iruka releases the front of Kakashi's gown and starts pacing across the room, one hand held to his forehead, like he has a particularly bad headache. "Do you know what happened to me this morning when I got my clone's memories back? Do you?"

Iruka stalks toward Kakashi, leans over him and plants one hand on either side of Kakashi's shoulders, effectively trapping him on the bed. Kakashi feels the first stirrings of arousal at Iruka's proximity and tries to ignore it.

"I was sitting in the onsen, talking with Ibiki and suddenly, I'm hit with…"

"With…?" Kakashi's pretty sure he knows what Iruka is going to say next.

Iruka drops down until his hot breath fans against Kakashi's ear. "Have you ever had an orgasm in public, Kakashi? In front of work colleagues?"

Kakashi pauses before he makes another stupid comment. Instead, he simply says, "No, I haven't."

Iruka seems to have run out of words. He pulls back, just enough that Kakashi can actually see his face. He is flushed; mostly with rage, but there's confusion there too. That sobers Kakashi up enough to stop playing games.

"I'm sorry, Iruka. It wasn't my intention to embarrass you like that."

Iruka sits down on the edge of the bed and sighs heavily. "Then what was your intention? I don't understand."

"It can't have escaped your notice that I like you, Iruka. A lot. I'm pretty sure you felt the same way before I fucked this up. Or am I wrong?" Please don't let your clone be wrong about this.

Iruka shakes his head and looks down at his hands, folded loosely in his lap. His hair swings around his shoulders, hiding his face. Kakashi realizes Iruka must not have bothered to put his hair up after leaving the onsen.

"Why the hell didn't you just ask me out for dinner? That would be the normal thing to do, Kakashi."

Kakashi thinks for a moment. "We were in the middle of a life-or-death situation. It would have been in bad taste to invite you out on a date knowing there was a real possibility one of us was going to die. You would have taken it as a fake declaration, right?"

"Most likely." Iruka sighs again. "It still doesn't change the fact that you purposely seduced my clone, knowing I would find out."

Kakashi considers the best way to deal with Iruka's insecurities. It's obvious he can't understand why Kakashi did what he did. He needs to tread carefully, or risk blowing the whole thing. "I did sleep with your clone, knowing what would happen. But in return, I knew you would have all your clone's memories. I hoped that you would see I wasn't just trying to seduce you because I could, or because it was a life-or-death situation."

"Maybe," Iruka mumbles.

"Then you know that I wouldn't show my face to just anyone, Iruka. You – your clone has seen my face. Think about that."

When Kakashi doesn't get a response, he roughly pulls the hospital mask from his face, tossing it to one side. "Iruka, look at me. Please."

It takes Iruka a few seconds before he shifts enough to face Kakashi on the bed. His eyes are downcast and it seems to take him a great deal of courage to look up and meet Kakashi's eyes. Iruka stares at him for a moment and then his gaze flicks down to Kakashi's bared face before looking up again. Iruka licks his lips as if he's nervous about something and Kakashi suddenly wants to kiss him senseless. Slowly, he reaches out a hand until his fingertips are just touching Iruka's. Iruka's fingers twitch, as if he's not sure whether to pull away or take Kakashi's hand.

"You also know what happened on the way home. You're the only person I've ever told how I got my sharingan."

Iruka shakes his head.

Kakashi can feel Iruka's hesitation, as if he's still not sure Kakashi is being honest. "Think back to what I told your clone, just before we kissed. It's all there, in your memories. I said, 'I'm attracted to the real Iruka. I hope that the real Iruka realizes this when you disappear. I hope he knows that if it were him, here with me now, I'd act the same way as I do with you.'"

"I know what you said." Iruka looks at Kakashi properly this time, meeting his eyes. "I've been thinking about it since this morning."

"Then you know it's true. Iruka, I want you. I want to get to know you properly, not just through your clone. That was enough when I wasn't sure if I was going to make it home. Now that I'm home, I want to get to know the real you. Do you understand?"

Iruka is still hesitating, and it makes Kakashi heart twist. He's going to lose, he can feel it. Whereas before he might have just walked away, this time Kakashi doesn't want to let it go. This is too important. He realizes he's going to have to put his trust in Iruka's clone, because the clone trusted Kakashi enough to share a secret.

"Iruka… two days ago, your clone told me something. He said that even before this, you liked me. That – "

"He had no right to tell you that – to share my secrets!" Iruka's anger is still bubbling just below the surface, ready to boil over. "God, Kakashi, how do you think I feel? I've tried so hard to hide my attraction to you, to bury it deep enough so it doesn't affect my life, or yours. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid!"

Kakashi reaches for Iruka's hand again, this time grasping hold of Iruka's trembling fingers, warming them in his hand. "Your clone felt he could trust me enough with this; that I wouldn't abuse the knowledge he shared. Do you regret your clone's words that much? Do you think I'm enough of a bastard to use the information to manipulate you? Do you honestly think your clone would trust me with this if that was the case?"

Iruka opens his mouth to deny Kakashi's words and then shuts it again. He seems to deflate before Kakashi's eyes. Kakashi doesn't like seeing Iruka this vulnerable, it's heartbreaking and he wonders what might have happened in Iruka's past to warrant this kind of reaction.

"Don't you see I'm angry with him?" Iruka says. "He shared those days with you, shared your company and your secrets. I have conflicting memories –the return trip home, running as fast as I could to get back to Konoha, to complete the mission – and laid over that is a whole extra set of days, time spent with you. It's like… it's like a fantasy. A stupid fantasy of what I wanted, and instead you spent it with someone who was me but isn't. I have the ghost of those days superimposed over my memories and it hurts, but makes me happy both at the same time.

"I simply don't know how to feel, Kakashi. I don't know what I should do."

"You should trust your instincts; trust your clone – he's part of you. He felt strongly enough about us to share your deepest secret with me."

Iruka's fingers tighten within Kakashi's hold and suddenly Kakashi knows it is going to be all right. It might take a while, but he thinks once Iruka gets over his hurt – and his embarrassment – they might have something worthwhile together.

"How about this," Kakashi says, unable to keep the hope out of his voice. He's vulnerable, laying himself out like this, but he's prepared to do that for Iruka, to show him how he really feels. "Why don't I check myself out of here and we go to dinner? No life-or-death situations, no secrets, just us – together. Then we can see where it goes."

"I'd like that," Iruka says, looking up at last. He seems to be searching for something in Kakashi's expression and seems to find it, because he smiles tentatively.

Kakashi tugs on Iruka's hand, pulling until he can wrap his arms around Iruka's stiff body. After a moment, Iruka relaxes into Kakashi's arms, fisting his hands in Kakashi's hospital gown. Kakashi nuzzles into Iruka's neck and breathes deeply, at last finding Iruka's scent. "This is what was missing," he says before he can stop himself.

"What was missing?" Iruka whispers against Kakashi's ear.

"Your clone had no scent; he was warm, he felt human, but he wasn't real. He didn't have your smell; I couldn't taste his skin. In the end, he was like a much beloved ghost."

Iruka's fists tighten in Kakashi's gown. "Kakashi…" Iruka's voice is barely audible, he's speaking so quietly. "Welcome home."

"I'm back." Kakashi whispers the response by rote, but this time he means it.

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