Title: The Secret's In The Telling
Recipient: troublesome_jv
Rating: T
Pairing(s): Iruka/Kakashi
Summary: Sometimes, The Road of Life detours through the produce aisle. Where it goes from there is anyone's guess.
Contains [warnings]: AU, very mild swearing, Kakashi being his usual pervert self.
Word Count: 12,500
Author's Notes: This story ended up growing with alarming speed until it was almost completely out of my control. I still have no idea how it happened. This is the first AU I've written, but it was insanely fun to figure out how to make things work in another setting! Hopefully I've included enough witty banter (is there really such a thing as 'enough', though?) and your other preferred tropes to make up for the fact that I didn't stick as closely to your prompts as I'd intended to. I hope you enjoy it! (Special thanks to my betas, A&G, who made this readable and generally held my hand throughout the process, even though I whined and worried a lot.)
The Secret's In The Telling
When they meet, there are no fireworks, no hint of what is to come. This fact, this memory, is very firm in Iruka's mind. Not because he takes any special care in the remembering of it, but because he finds he cannot shake it from his mind. They meet, absurdly, at a supermarket. Iruka is aware of the ridiculousness of this, which does nothing to stop tenderness from creeping in on the edges of the memory when he chooses to examine it like a curiosity, hidden away and only for his eyes.
There are, instead, eggplants, and the slightly chilly air of the produce section, and annoying fluorescent lights that do nothing for Iruka's impending headache. There is also--and this is most definitely the oddest if not most intriguing bit--a well-dressed man with a shock of silver hair, murmuring to himself, and blocking all polite access to the eggplants.
Iruka is in a hurry, and hardly has the time to take in the sight of this slouched stranger who actually seems to be fondling the eggplants, let alone start up a conversation. Still, lateness is no reason for rudeness, and so Iruka says, "Excuse me," hoping the man will simply move long enough to let him snatch a couple of the vegetables. Iruka idly wonders if eggplants are actually classified as a vegetable when the stranger sidesteps, raising one hand in apology.
"Ah, sorry, sorry."
Then Iruka notices that the man's hair is even more... unusual from the front than from the side. Some of it is sticking straight up while other parts are flopping into the man's eyes and over his ears. Iruka can't help but wonder if it's a deliberate style or simply misfortune. The man is also wearing an eye patch over his left eye, and a face mask hides his mouth and most of his nose. His visible eye is curved up in what Iruka assumes to be a rueful smile. Iruka catalogues this with casual detachedness, though a hint of appreciation for the man's appearance manages to creep into his thoughts. Iruka beats it down. He is going to be late and ogling strangers at a supermarket is a terrible, terrible excuse.
"No problem," Iruka says easily, as he leans forward to grab a couple of eggplants. "Just in a hurry to make some tempura for my little brother-- I'll sneak some vegetables into his diet if it kills me." Iruka isn't sure what possessed him to say that. He is cooking for Naruto, but the boy isn't even distantly related to him. He smiles, trying his best not to come across as a person who lies to strangers at supermarkets. He feels ridiculously out of place in his rumpled sweater vest and disheveled hair.
The statement seems to catch the other man off guard, because what little of his face Iruka can see seems to be in conflict with itself. It's as if the stranger can't decide whether to laugh appreciatively or grimace.
"Eugh, tempura," the stranger finally settles on, but still looks vaguely amused. His mouth is probably quirked under the mask. Iruka resolutely doesn't think about it because he is going to be late, he reminds himself.
Which is why it's absurd that he can't help himself from replying, just a bit defensively, "What's wrong with tempura?" Because it might not be ramen, but it doesn't exactly scream 'Vegetables incognito!' which is the only thing he's worried about where Naruto's concerned.
"Nothing, if you don't mind wrecking perfectly good eggplants," the stranger scoffs. "Though I suppose your cunning plan requires it."
Iruka, who is now ridiculously self-conscious, rubs at the scar crossing his nose. "Ah, um, right," he says, wondering why in the world he opened his mouth in the first place and how to go about beating a hasty retreat without appearing rude in front of a handsome, if peculiar, stranger. It's not exactly cowardly fleeing, Iruka reasons, if he's going to be late. "Well. Have a nice evening," he finishes lamely, sufficiently flustered.
Later, sometime between cooking dinner for Naruto and helping the boy with his homework, Iruka is finally able to put the stranger out of his mind.
So that is where they meet. But if he wanted to be entirely accurate, Iruka would say that where things actually start is a completely different matter.
* * *
A few days later, during a mandatory staff meeting, Iruka does a double take so hard that it nearly gives him whiplash. Sitting across from him at the table, with a dubiously bright orange novel obscuring his face, is the Eggplant Zealot. Iruka would know that hair anywhere. He doesn't quite tack on 'unfortunately' to this last thought, but it's a close thing.
It is much, much too early for Iruka's brain to have to deal with something like this. For a minute, he actually thinks he may still be asleep, because how could this be possible? Iruka takes a deep breath, blinks, and is still unable to do much more than stare outright at the man. It has to be some kind of cosmic joke.
Or, possibly, Iruka is going mad.
Lowering his book, the man regards Iruka with subtle surprise. Iruka can read it in the almost imperceptible widening of the man's visible eye, and smiles reflexively in acknowledgement.
"Yo," the other man says, raising a hand in greeting, "Tempura-san!"
Izumo, who is sitting to Iruka's left, goes into silent paroxysms of laughter at the expression on Iruka's face, barely able to hide his amusement behind his cup of coffee. If he listens very carefully, Iruka is sure he can hear his polite but doomed smile shatter on the table where it has slipped from his face, replaced by a deep flush of humiliation. He kicks Izumo under the table and nods politely.
Moments later, when the garish book has been lifted back into place, Iruka realizes that it's one of Jiraya-san's works. He allows himself a moment of indignation. Genma interrupts Iruka's thoughts by finally swaggering into the room to start the meeting, and Iruka looks towards the ceiling in silent thanks.
Iruka hopes to have this meeting done with as quickly as possible so he can get on with his day. So of course Genma drops a bombshell.
Shiranui Genma is Head Of Security at the Uzumaki mansion; not that one could easily guess it by his appearance-- his build and nonchalance belie his job description. His honey-colored hair is perpetually hidden under a navy blue bandana. Mitarashi Anko is currently running bets on whether or not the man is hiding a bald spot. On Iruka's first day, Genma had spent minutes frantically searching for his briefing notes before finally pulling the crumpled napkin they were written on from his pocket. Iruka had been mildly alarmed that no one seemed surprised. Genma perpetually chews on toothpicks, and there are also bets on when and where he'll finally swallow one by accident.
Genma introduces the stranger as Hatake Kakashi. Kakashi barely deigns to look up from his book, simply raising a hand in greeting. "Yo."
For some inexplicable reason, Kakashi catches Iruka's eye over the book, and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. Iruka responds by stiffening and going very red in the cheeks-- and not in a good way. Iruka isn't about to interrupt Genma, who reveals that Kakashi is the newest addition to the security team, specifically tasked with providing extra protection for Naruto. Iruka would groan aloud if this new information didn't raise red flags-- this is the first he's hearing about the boy being in danger; anymore than usual, that is.
Uzumaki Naruto happens to be the orphaned son of the last CEO and owner of Konoha Incorporated. He's also the future heir of the company, though the boy has no idea about this. The current CEO, Sarutobi Hiruzen, is Naruto's legal guardian and wants the boy to be able to grow up as normal as possible, given the circumstances. Normal is the last word Iruka would use to describe Naruto; willful, loud, and energetic spring to mind instead. Heir or not, Iruka is determined to treat him the same as he would any other student. From what Iruka's been able to gather, Naruto had gone through an alarming number of nannies and boarding schools before arriving in Iruka's classroom. Within weeks of meeting Naruto, Iruka had been approached and offered a position by Konoha Inc. as a live-in tutor and caretaker (Iruka is fond of kids, but will deck anyone who calls him a nanny) for the boy. To this day, Iruka isn't sure if that had been because of his qualifications, because Sarutobi-sama had been a close friend of his parents, or because they couldn't find anyone else at all to take the job. Probably, it's a mix of all three; Iruka wouldn't be too surprised, in any case. Even the security team seems mildly afraid of Naruto, and Iruka doubts that it's because the boy will be their boss one day. Which isn't to say that others working in the company don't feel this way. As exuberant as Naruto is, or perhaps because of it, he's rarely seen in the company of the other children, even at school.
"We're dealing with an information leak, which means a breach of security. It could potentially lead to Naruto being at risk-- which is where Kakashi comes in, as I've mentioned. Our intelligence points toOtogakure being the culprit, but we don't have enough evidence at the moment-- that snake Orochimaru is probably behind it somehow." Genma pauses, looking pointedly from Iruka to Kakashi. "Are there any questions so far?"
Kakashi pipes up, finally lowering his book completely. "Maa... I'm to babysit the boy and his nanny. Shouldn't be a problem." He smirks. Iruka isn't sure how he knows this, with a good portion of Kakashi's face being covered, but he just does. Iruka is also pretty sure that everyone at the table can hear his teeth grinding together, especially because of the sudden, heavy silence that has descended. It's almost like they're waiting for his shouts of outrage. Not that Iruka can be driven to shouts of outrage this easily. He just glares at Kakashi until Genma, who is possibly choking on his toothpick, hurriedly moves on to what effectively ruins Iruka's day and foreseeable future.
"Kakashi will need a cover; a good reason to be around a lot. The last thing we want to do is scare Naruto by dumping a bodyguard on him for no reason. We've already briefed Kakashi on the details-- he will be working undercover as your boyfriend, Iruka-sensei, as well as a teacher's aide."
"WHAT!"
Genma raises a brow at first at Iruka, then turns it on Anko, who is sniggering rather loudly. He clears his throat, looking vaguely sheepish, but nonetheless determined. "These orders come straight from Sarutobi-sama, and I'm sure you are aware of the terms of your contract, Iruka-sensei. We've already set things up with the school, and--"
"I apologize, Genma-san," Iruka says hastily. He wants to crawl underneath the table and die. He's sure his face is bright red with mortification. The entire room is staring at him either outright or furtively. To his left, Izumo is trying to convey sympathy, but it's ruined by the man's obvious amusement. Next to Izumo, Kotetsu isn't doing a much better job of hiding his mirth, and Iruka doesn't dare look towards Kakashi, who knew. Anko is still snickering, albeit quieter, and Ibiki, sitting next to her, simply looks bored and completely unamused.
Genma, thankfully, dismisses the meeting before Iruka can lose the last shreds of his dignity. Although Iruka makes a beeline towards the door, Raidou catches up with him, tone apologetic. "If we could have come up with a better cover, we'd have used it, Iruka. This just seemed to make the most sense; honestly, we didn't think you'd mind that much... But you seem to know Kakashi?"
Iruka shrugs, trying to convey a lightness that he doesn't feel. "No, although I'm sure I will soon enough. I, ah, I guess I was just surprised. Didn't exactly expect to walk out of here with a boyfriend," he laughs, trying to sound indifferent. "But I'm going to be late if I don't leave, sorry." He smiles stiffly before turning to go, not in the mood to talk, and especially not about Kakashi.
* * *
"So when you said you were going to cook for your brother the other night..."
Kakashi has, infuriatingly, caught up with him in the hall as Iruka is on his way out the door. Iruka scowls, forcing down the sudden, strong desire to strangle him. Maybe he could make it look like an accident.
"Not that it's your business, but yes, I meant Naruto. No, we're not actually related, as I'm sure you know by now. Slip of the tongue."
Kakashi merely spreads his hands in an approximation of innocent courtesy that dissolves into teasing mockery if one looks close enough, and Iruka is. "Just curious, sensei. No need to get all up in arms about it." His tone isn't actually malicious, which is mildly infuriating to Iruka; he's being deliberately wound up for Kakashi's amusement. "Can't a man get to know his boyfriend better?"
Iruka opens his mouth to fire off a scathing reply, but shuts it just as quickly. He is going to have to put up with Kakashi all day for the foreseeable future, and on top of it, he's going to have to pretend that he likes him. It will be infinitely worse if they can't just figure out how to get along right now. If only for Naruto's sake, he tells himself. "Right. Okay," Iruka says, the model of politeness, hoping to salvage the situation. "I apologize. Let me start over. It's a pleasure to meet you, Hatake-san."
"Likewise, Iruka-sensei." No one should be able to make 'sensei' sound so dirty and make Iruka feel homicidal this early in the day, but somehow Kakashi manages to do both with a single sentence. The future looks very grim indeed, Iruka thinks, as Kakashi continues, "Shall I tell you about my likes and dislikes? My greatest dream?"
"I really don't think that will be necessary right now."
"Don't you want to hear about my hobbies, Iruka-sensei?"
Kakashi is saved from a grizzly end when Naruto bounds up to the door, backpack askew, his hair and t-shirt looking as if he's only just rolled out of bed. There are still crumbs stuck to his face, presumably from his breakfast. Iruka clears his throat, restraining himself from launching into a lecture, mostly because they're going to be late if he does. "Good morning, Naruto."
"G'morning, Iruka-sensei." Naruto yawns widely and eyes Kakashi quizzically. "Morning, Cyclops."
"Excuse me?"
It takes all of Iruka's considerable restraint not to let out a sharp bark of laughter at Kakashi's comically appalled face, as it would be a bad example for Naruto. Still, Iruka privately feels a rush of fondness towards the boy, even as he attempts to admonish him with what completely fails to be a stern look.
"Who is he?" Naruto asks, trailing after Iruka to the car. He glances at Kakashi, who has that despicable orange book out again, then looks at Iruka expectantly.
"I'll tell you on the way," Iruka sighs, defeated.
* * *
Iruka had wanted to break the news to Naruto carefully, and possibly vaguely. So of course Kakashi makes it impossible to do so, choosing instead to go with insufferable dramatics.
"I'm your sensei's boyfriend and I can't bear to be apart from him."
"You're a terrible liar, is what you are. He... he's going to be helping me out at school, Naruto."
"Oh, my love, you wound me deeply!"
"I wish I could."
"I love you too, darling."
Iruka wants to make gagging noises at Kakashi's theatrics, but Naruto beats him to it.
"I didn't know you had a boyfriend, Iruka-sensei!"
Funny, neither did I.
"Yes, well. Kakashi-san may seem odd, but you'll be seeing him around more often. Is that okay?" Iruka doesn't know why he even asks this, since it's not like he could do much about it if Naruto didobject.
"...Can we get ramen tonight?"
"Well..." Iruka looks over to Kakashi, who shrugs. Eating a meal in public with Kakashi is not high on Iruka's list of things he would like to do, but Naruto shouldn't have to suffer because of it.
"Iruka-senseiii," Naruto whines, "I haven't had ramen forever."
Iruka scoffs at this, rolling his eyes with more affection than he means to let show, and ignores Kakashi's badly hidden chuckle when he replies, "Naruto, it's only been two days."
"I know! Two whole days!" The boy's vulpine grin does nothing for Iruka's self-restraint.
"We'll see," Iruka says, but it's in a tone that even Naruto knows is more or less a confirmation.
It's almost absurd how well Naruto takes the news. The boy is mistrustful of strangers at the best of times. Scarcely a week ago, Naruto had, inexplicably, gotten his hands on a carton of rotten eggs and dumped the lot of them on Uchiha Sasuke during recess. Iruka still isn't sure why, but has since decided he probably doesn't want to know. Kakashi doesn't come to any harm on the drive to school, though Iruka catches Naruto sneaking glimpses of him. He seems less interested about why Kakashi is present than he does about Kakashi's appearance. Not that Iruka can blame him. Kakashi, predictably, reads. A small part of Iruka is secretly relieved that Kakashi has decided to leave him alone at least for the time being, because it's one less thing he needs to worry about.
It doesn't last long.
Iruka really should have expected the fiasco that is introducing Kakashi as his new teacher's aide, training Kakashi to be his new teacher's aide, enduring frankly horrifying pet names, giving up on Kakashi being anything like a teacher's aide, and generally being thwarted by the universe at every turn. He isn't even able to scream abuse at the man, because it would wreck his relationship cover and probably scare his class needlessly. Still. Iruka is going to kill Genma.
By the end of the day, Iruka has a massive headache, and does not relish the thought of spending more time in Kakashi's company. The man isn't incompetent; Iruka knows this, which is why it's so infuriating that Kakashi wasn't around to stop Kiba from gluing his hand to his desk when Iruka was breaking up yet another fight between Naruto and Sasuke. He likewise was nowhere to be found when Iruka mysteriously couldn't find a single red pen, or when Lee lost a baby tooth in the middle of snack time and needed to be escorted to the school nurse.
And yet, Kakashi would not go away when Iruka, after finally finding a new package of red pens, decided to grade homework. He had perched on the window sill ridiculously, reading during Iruka's lessons, and had hassled him during the entirety of recess and the lunch break. Iruka cannot remember the last time he has been so tired after work, and he has been an elementary school teacher foryears.
Kakashi's life will be tragically cut short, Iruka decides, if the next day is a repeat performance.
* * *
Shockingly, Naruto isn't screaming at the top of his lungs about ramen when they finally arrive at Ichiraku's. This is slightly worrying to Iruka, because in his experience, a quiet Naruto never bodes well for anyone. The boy is silent and polite, and Iruka almost believes maybe, just maybe, he'll actually have uneventful night. It lasts until they are served, which is still pretty impressive for Naruto.
The typical Naruto impishness makes an appearance when he turns to Kakashi, mouth full of noodles, and brashly says, "You look funny."
"Naruto!"
Kakashi blinks and puts his chopsticks down, as if he's never heard something so ridiculous in his life. Then, he gets a mischievous look in his eye that can't mean anything good. "Well, Iruka-sensei seems to like the way I look, ne?"
"Don't flatter yourself," Iruka mutters, but Naruto doesn't catch it. Instead, the boy seems to consider Kakashi's reply for a few minutes before giving a shrug and going back to slurping his noodles. He looks up again a few minutes later, grinning widely.
"So what happened to your eye?"
"Uzumaki Naruto...!" Iruka reddens significantly and shoots an apologetic look at Kakashi, who only looks mildly amused. Iruka turns back to Naruto to level him with a glare that promises Dire Consequences if he doesn't remember his manners very, very quickly.
Naruto pouts, rather impressively. If Iruka is objective about it, he's never seen the boy this put out in such a close vicinity to ramen, and it's frankly unsettling.
"Childhood accident," Kakashi says, voice coming across as a bit faraway, like the man's been transported back a few years in his mind. Iruka is surprised to detect honesty in Kakashi's voice instead of the teasing undercurrent he usually picks up on.
"That's how Iruka-sensei got his scar too!" Naruto offers, then, apparently losing all interest in the conversation, goes back to his ramen.
"Oh?" Kakashi looks at Iruka for a few beats with a thoughtful expression.
Iruka has been trying his best to ignore Kakashi, but he has to admit that he's a bit curious about Kakashi's face. Namely, how in the world Kakashi manages to hide it while eating so neatly. Ramen isn't exactly an ideal food to eat with a mask on. Not that Iruka has been actively trying to catch him with his mask down. Naruto, on the other hand...
"You should eat another bowl of ramen," Naruto says, grinning, even though Kakashi isn't done with his first one.
"That's okay," Kakashi replies, playing oblivious. "I'm sure this will be enough."
"Staring is rude, Naruto," Iruka reprimands, after he catches him for the third time.
"Do you think he's a ninja, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto stage-whispers, his blue eyes wide. Iruka can hear the slurp of noodles from Kakashi's direction, but when Naruto's gaze shifts, hoping to find the man mask-less, his eyes just become even wider. Iruka turns around to find Kakashi with his mask firmly in place.
"He is a ninja," Naruto exclaims, pushing his empty bowl away. To Iruka's surprise, Kakashi merely chuckles good-naturedly.
"Either that, or he's hideous under there," Naruto looks pleased with his hypothesis. Iruka is stuck between being horrified on Kakashi's behalf (but not too much, as he's still annoyed by the amount of trouble Kakashi's given him today) and doubled over with laughter. Naruto does not mince words. Even when it comes to Iruka's pseudo-boyfriend, apparently.
"Hey! I'll have you know I am quite handsome under here," Kakashi says loftily.
"No, I bet you have, like... fat fish lips under there!"
"Naruto!"
"You should ask Iruka-sensei if I have fish lips," Kakashi smirks. "We kiss all the time."
"Eugh, kissing!"
Kakashi actually chuckles, a rich sound, and leans down to Naruto's eye-level, his visible eye mischievous. Iruka rolls his eyes at the ceiling and refrains from kicking Kakashi off of his stool. He does notthink about kissing him.
"You really want to see under my mask?"
Naruto, of course, nods furiously. "Yeah!" Iruka cocks his head, trying and failing not to look too curious himself. Kakashi's eyes flick towards Iruka for a split second, no doubt grinning broadly under his mask, because it's stretched slightly.
"Well, you see," Kakashi says, raising his eyebrows as he looks around conspiratorially, "Underneath this mask is..."
Naruto leans so far forward that he's in danger of toppling out of his seat at any minute. Kakashi's finger comes up to rest where the mask starts, at the bridge of his nose. Naruto is, possibly, holding his breath. Kakashi pulls his mask down with a flourish. Naruto's jaw drops. Iruka doesn't think he's ever seen the boy so surprised, but then again, he very nearly gapes himself. He blinks, trying not to collapse into a fit of giggles at Naruto's uncomprehending expression alone.
"Another mask!" Kakashi exclaims, rather needlessly, at this point. Naruto's expression crumples then builds back up within the space of a minute.
"So you are a ninja," he says, looking pleased with himself. Then, looking furtively around, "I can't believe Iruka-sensei's boyfriend is a ninja! Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." He hops off the stool, grinning.
"Or he just has really bad allergies," Iruka deadpans quietly. He ducks his head when Kakashi straightens up to look at him. Iruka turns to Naruto, who is now unabashedly hero-worshipping Kakashi. Iruka can feel a migraine coming on. "You have no idea how badly he wants to be a ninja," Iruka says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Now you'll never hear the end of it."
"Yes, well. It'll be our secret," Kakashi says to Naruto.
"Ninja indeed," Iruka mutters, hiding his amusement at Naruto's awe and Kakashi's penchant for dramatics.
"I am very flexible," Kakashi winks suggestively at Iruka, who goes scarlet, not out of embarrassment, but indignation.
"We are in public."
Kakashi shrugs, and before Iruka can add anything else he pays for the meal, hopping off his stool neatly and ignoring all protests from Iruka. Iruka resolutely does not feel any tenderness for the man.
* * *
Days go by and they fall into a routine of sorts. If Iruka really thinks about it, he would be alarmed by how quickly Kakashi has insinuated himself into their lives, for all Iruka knows next to nothing about him and Naruto is reluctant to trust others on a good day. Kakashi is even helpful sometimes, and as for the rest of the time, well, at least he isn't actively plotting more disasters for Iruka to deal with.
Iruka has come to terms with the fact that drastic measures will have to be taken to counteract Kakashi's Icha Icha obsession or to get Kakashi to stop teasing him. Kakashi is utterly and completelyinsufferable. Fortunately for him, Iruka has better things to do with his time than plot revenge in creative ways. At least, for now. As it is, Iruka tries not to think about Kakashi any more than he has to, but is horrified to find that he might actually be building up a tolerance for Kakashi-- that he's getting used to having him around. It's absurd.
It's not like Iruka's lonely. He has Naruto, after all.
The boy in question has taken to following Kakashi around, begging him to teach him 'ninja techniques', when he isn't causing mayhem elsewhere. Sometimes both of these activities go hand in hand, because Kakashi storms into the living room one day, where Iruka is grading papers, looking decidedly put out. The man's hair and skin is sprinkled with chalk dust, and a good amount of it has found its way onto his suit as well.
Iruka can't help himself, he bursts out laughing. "Don't tell me--"
"I appear to have found where your chalkboard eraser had disappeared to, sensei," Kakashi says gravely. Then he adds, "Do you know any good places to hide a body?"
Iruka just laughs harder, clutching at his sides, because Kakashi's serious voice doesn't at all match his humorous appearance. Naruto is going to get a Stern Talking To later on, but Iruka can't believe Kakashi, of all people, has been outsmarted by Naruto. With the aid of school supplies. He can't help but rib Kakashi a bit. "That is the oldest prank in the book!"
"Maybe I should make it two bodies," Kakashi mutters darkly, shaking his head. It only serves to create a small cloud of dust which reattaches itself elsewhere on his person. Iruka is caught between coughing and laughing, unable to dredge up very much pity at all.
"If it makes you feel better, he's pranked everyone at least once."
"Even you?"
"Yes," Iruka chuckles, reminiscing. "Except I didn't fall for it. Former prankster, and all."
Kakashi looks vaguely scandalized, or possibly about to sneeze. It shouldn't be a look that endears him to Iruka, even the slightest, because that would be ridiculous. Chalk dust does funny things to your insides, Iruka decides.
"Iruka-sensei, a former prankster? No, no, I refuse to believe it. Or is your whole Paragon of Virtue attitude just a clever act, sensei? It's always the quiet ones, isn't it? I've been terribly lax in looking underneath the underneath when it comes to you."
"Oh, spare me," Iruka mutters. Kakashi's probably going to hurt himself with the intensity of his ridiculous leer.
"You can't just leave it there, Iruka-sensei! Former prankster!"
Iruka sighs. "Well... I suppose I just wanted to be the center of attention. I lost my parents when I was young, and I didn't really have anyone else to notice me, unless I was getting into trouble... But that isn't the point," Iruka avoids Kakashi's gaze. "I'd say you got off lucky with that one. He must like you. One time, I kid you not, he had filled a bucket with mud, and Genma--"
Naruto chooses this moment to barge into the room, whooping in glee when he sees Kakashi, and the damage his prank has done. "You fell for it! You fell for it!"
Kakashi, for his part, looks nonchalant. Iruka bites down on a laugh and turns to regard Naruto sternly.
"Naruto..."
"Aww, I just wanted to see him act like a ninja! But, uh, he didn't. I was going to put the eraser back tomorrow!"
Iruka sighs and straightens his papers. "How about we get started on your homework?"
* * *
Iruka has been waiting for this moment. He's surprised that it hasn't come up sooner, actually.
Kakashi is sitting on the couch, pretending to read-- Iruka is sure he's faking at least half of the time, though the reason why eludes him. He can't even pretend to know Kakashi's motives, and rarely brings himself to try. It usually ends in a headache, anyway.
The point is, Naruto does not trust anyone who refuses to play the Wii with him, at least once. Privately, Iruka thinks this could be a pretty good test of character; or did, until Kakashi had huffed a small laugh and reluctantly agreed. Then again, it isn't as if Iruka thinks Kakashi is untrustworthy. The man just manages to be entirely incorrigible and has poor literary tastes and likes to rile Iruka endlessly like it's a game, and the most annoying part is that it works, even if the ribbing has been less scathing and more playful lately.
That's beside the point.
The game starts out friendly enough before dissolving, as competitive games often do, into just short of an all-out war. The fact that they're playing Wii Boxing doesn't help, either. Iruka can't blame Naruto; Kakashi is insufferably cool about it, even reading while beating him during one round. Iruka is actually worried that one of the controllers is destined to put a hole in the television before the day is done. He's slightly more worried that Naruto is going to explode in rage, though Kakashi will have deserved it for baiting the boy.
Finally, Naruto crosses his arms and glares at Kakashi with begrudging respect. "Fine, you win. But I bet you can't beat Iruka-sensei."
Kakashi raises his eyebrows. "Is that so?"
Iruka feels that he ought to be at least a little bit indignant at Kakashi's level of disbelief. "Hey!"
"What do you think, sensei? Wanna play?"
"You're horrible," Iruka groans.
"And you're stalling, sensei. Maa, I can't blame you. I can see why you'd be scared to lose."
Because it's Wii boxing and not, say, Wii golf (Iruka really, really can't stand Wii golf), Iruka accepts the challenge. But not before standing up and 'accidentally' stepping on Kakashi's foot when he goes to accept the controller from Naruto.
Within minutes, Kakashi's character is knocked out cold, Iruka is doubled over in manic laughter clutching at his chest, and Naruto says 'Hah!' over and over again, bouncing in place. The look of absolute disbelief on Kakashi's features will stay with Iruka forever, he's sure of it. His personal honor has been sufficiently defended, but better than that, Kakashi has been thoroughly thrashed.
"But you wear sweater vests!"
Iruka smirks.
"...Best two out of three."
"Oh, fine."
Iruka still beats him, in the end.
* * *
Mizuki, a fellow teacher at the school, stops by one evening. He arrives under the guise of delivering lesson plans, but is actually trying to lure Iruka out for drinks with Kotetsu and Izumo. It's usually a weekly occurrence; the four of them are childhood friends, but Iruka has been ridiculously busy lately and hasn't spent any time with them. Unfortunately, Iruka has already committed to cooking dinner with Naruto and has to turn him away, apologetic.
"Sorry, I've already made plans for the night. Maybe some other time?"
This is when Kakashi comes to the door and promptly drapes himself all over Iruka, with a challenging look at Mizuki. Things get awkward very quickly as Mizuki looks from Iruka to Kakashi, then back, confused. He obviously hadn't expected Iruka's teaching aide to be at home with him, let alone dressed so casually and acting this familiar. Understanding dawns on his features then, chased by irritation before settling back to normal. "Oh, er, sure. See you tomorrow, Iruka."
Iruka shoves Kakashi off as soon as the door closes, and glares at him. "Was that really necessary?" Inexplicably, Kakashi actually looks annoyed, but the look is gone as soon as Iruka blinks.
"Maa, just protecting our cover."
"You didn't need to do it so dramatically," Iruka rolls his eyes and tries not to think back to the sudden contact and Kakashi's warm presence. They haven't really had to play things up too much, and Iruka isn't used to having his personal space so unexpectedly violated. Or rather, he is, but not quite in this way. Kakashi usually just pokes him or nudges him. Once, Kakashi had flicked him on the tip of his nose. Iruka had punched him in the arm, hard, and Kakashi hasn't tried it again since.
Iruka walks away, feeling odd and skittish and unable to place the reason for it. Kakashi doesn't follow him, but Iruka can feel his stare.
The night goes downhill from there.
The acrid stench of smoke emanating from the kitchen has Iruka and Kakashi running towards the source, panicked. Iruka can't figure it out, because he hasn't even put anything in the oven yet. He'd only asked Naruto to preheat it, and--
As if he can sense Iruka's train of thought, Naruto shows up and starts shouting and waving his arms. "It's not my fault! I didn't do anything! I swear!"
Then the sprinklers go off.
Iruka flicks on the kitchen fan, coughing lightly, and turns the oven off. He bends down to look inside, baffled, and lets out a groan. He's dripping, Kakashi's dripping, and Naruto is, predictably, dripping.
"It wasn't my fault!" Naruto announces again, for good measure.
"I know, I know," Iruka says wearily. The oven is full of shattered glass and melted rubber and is going to be a horrendous nightmare to clean up. He'd forgotten to get the baking things out before asking Naruto to pre-heat it; probably because he'd still been flustered, but it's a poor excuse.
"I've suddenly lost my appetite," Kakashi deadpans, dodging a swipe of Iruka's hand. "And I'm wet," he adds, needlessly.
"We can eat ramen!" Naruto shrieks, just a bit too gleefully.
Kakashi, now convinced that the immediate danger is over, is back to his normal slouch, his eye looking pleadingly at Iruka, though he addresses Naruto. "Naruto, we just had ramen last night." Naruto had, once again, been unable to catch a glimpse of the man's face. So had Iruka, not that he'd been trying to.
"I know!"
Iruka levels Naruto with a stern, if slightly wry gaze. "No ramen tonight."
"Aww..."
"No broiled saury either, apparently," Iruka sighs, trying to think of what else to make.
"I could cook."
Iruka looks up, brows raised in surprise. He's mildly worried about Kakashi and cooking even being in the same sentence, but he doesn't exactly have a leg to stand on right now. Still, Kakashi had picked the batter off of his tempura the other night, and Iruka is convinced that anything Kakashi comes up with will be questionable. If only just because it's Kakashi.
"You don't have to do that," Iruka says, partly baffled by the offer, partly nervous.
Kakashi levels him with a look that clearly says I know, and shrugs, turning to leave. "But I think I'll get changed first."
"Good idea; let's meet back here in a few minutes."
Iruka ends up mopping the floor, first.
* * *
When Iruka returns in dry clothes and towel-dried hair, he finds that Kakashi has beaten him to the kitchen and is, ridiculously, humming as he goes through the contents of the refrigerator. Iruka tries very hard to focus on this instead of staring at him. He clears his throat, and Naruto walks in just as Kakashi turns to greet them.
"Not eggplant," Naruto moans, throwing himself to the tiled floor in what Iruka assumes is supposed to be a tragic, bereaved sprawl of limbs. Further groans are forthcoming when Kakashi pulls out the saury, some tofu, miso paste, and green peppers.
Iruka stifles a laugh, which earns an indiscernible look from Kakashi. Iruka can't help it; for all Kakashi surprises him on a daily basis as he gets to know him better, it seems that Iruka's initial assessment of him had been correct. Kakashi definitely enjoys eggplant.
"It's going to be delicious, you'll see." Kakashi sounds sure of himself, in any case. "I won't even burn down the kitchen!" He winks at Iruka, who goes red in embarrassment all over again.
"Oi!" Iruka smacks him on the arm with the green onion before going to chop it up.
Kakashi ends up cooking a tasty meal of grilled saury, eggplant miso soup, and rice. Even Naruto, who usually won't touch tofu or eggplant without a considerable amount of coaxing or trickery, has seconds.
"That was delicious, Kakashi." Iruka grins as he clears away the dishes. "Where did you learn to cook like that?"
"Oh, er, just around. I had to cook for myself a lot when I was younger. But this was nothing."
Kakashi's visible eye curves happily, however, and Iruka notes that the man's tone is pleased, like he isn't used to being praised. At least, not for cooking. It makes Iruka feel inexplicably warm all over and content. The feeling persists through several rounds of Buta no shippo, Naruto's favorite card game. Naruto has convinced Kakashi to play, only to accuse the man of cheating with his eyepatch somehow after Kakashi wins three rounds in a row. It intensifies when Kakashi turns to Iruka, laughing, and when Iruka realizes that he's been staring at Kakashi this whole time, which is at least half the reason he keeps losing. Kakashi's gaze promptly turns lecherous, which is really predictable, to the point of almost being a joke, and Iruka reciprocates with the expected eye roll.
Kakashi then proceeds to alternate between winning and losing strategically for the next few rounds, just to get Naruto to stop complaining, until the boy begins to stifle yawns furtively, and even Iruka is feeling sleepy after the long day. He glances at the clock before announcing, with a clap of his hands, "Bed time! It's a school night, after all."
"Aww..." Naruto and Kakashi give twin protests, but Kakashi's is just for show; he's already gathering up the cards to put away.
"Thanks again for dinner," Iruka says, after Naruto is tucked in and fast asleep, or at least pretending to be.
"No problem. What are fake boyfriends for, ne?"
Iruka chuckles, full and warm and unexpectedly content with how the night has turned out, all things considered. He's still having trouble putting a name to this feeling; like a misjudged step or a word just out of reach. Bidding Kakashi good night, he vaguely wonders if it will make any more sense in the morning.
* * *
"Look," Iruka says a few days later, unsure of how to bring it up. He's sitting at the kotatsu that Naruto had begged him to bring out somewhat early this year, his feet tucked under the table.
Kakashi has just walked into the room with two steaming cups of tea. Iruka hadn't even asked, but the fact that Kakashi is bringing out his favorite tea literally minutes after he'd entertained the thought of getting up to make some catches him unawares, and he's only just able to take the proffered cup with a murmured thanks. It takes a few moments of Kakashi sitting quietly with an expectant look on his face for Iruka's brain to reboot itself.
"Oh! Er, sorry. Yes. I was going to ask you something," Iruka ducks his head and rubs at the scar running over his nose. He vaguely wonders how Kakashi is going to manage to drink his tea with his mask in the way, but he pushes that thought aside. "Well, I don't know if anyone's mentioned it, but Naruto's birthday is next week, and I wondered... Well, he obviously likes you, and..." Iruka trails off, because he'd almost said 'I don't mind your company either', which wasn't untrue, but isn't even the point. Iruka wills himself back to a normal shade of tan before taking a deep breath and going on, bewildered by this sudden onset of nervousness. "So... I'd like to invite you? On his behalf. I mean. Don't feel obligated, I know it's a weekend, so you'd have the day off, but..."
"My, my, sensei, would this be a date?"
Iruka goes absolutely scarlet, suddenly unable to look Kakashi in the eye. "No!" Leave it to Kakashi to make things even more complicated than they need to be. Iruka ignores Kakashi's obvious amusement and presses on. "It's just going to be a few of his school friends, and probably the security team as well, though I don't exactly trust Genma or Anko to keep things in line..."
Under his mask, Kakashi is wrinkling his nose. Iruka is sure of it. This thought, oddly, makes Iruka's fingertips tingle, a warmth that has nothing to do with his tea or the embarrassment washing over him. The thought of Kakashi's nose wrinkling shouldn't do this to him. This is beyond ridiculous, he thinks. He's probably coming down with something, it's the only plausible explanation.
"Maa, well..." Kakashi is looking at him straight in the eyes, which is really distracting. Iruka looks away, unable to do much more than hold his breath and busy himself with marking his students' papers while he waits for an answer. Somehow, he already knows, because for all Kakashi puts on a big production about thinking it over, even scratching at his masked chin, as if trying to appear deep in thought, the man can be absurdly obvious.
"I suppose so," Kakashi finally says, and when Iruka looks up, Kakashi is positively beaming. Iruka can't help but smile back, though Kakashi ruins it the very next second. "It would probably be suspicious if your boyfriend were missing, after all."
"I'm sure no one who knows you would think so," Iruka mutters, because one awful turn deserves another. He ignores the way Kakashi puts the back of his hand to his forehead dramatically, his other hand clutching at his chest. "But thank you, on Naruto's behalf," Iruka adds.
"I wouldn't want to deprive anyone of my considerable charm, either," Kakashi replies. Iruka groans; he's sure these kind of stilted lines are straight out of Kakashi's awful book. At least it gives him an excuse to kick Kakashi under the table in a moment of playful mischief, grinning wryly.
"Oi!" Kakashi says, steadying his cup of tea, which is close to his lips. Come to think of it, when did he ever lower his mask? Iruka freezes, eyes wide and mouth dry. He quickly looks down to his papers, red pen clutched tightly in his hand like a lifeline.
"Iruka, you know you can look," Kakashi says, tone amused.
Iruka keeps his eyes downcast for a couple of seconds, silence stretching taut between him and Kakashi. He isn't sure how he's arrived at this point, or if it's even where he wants to be, but he knows that Kakashi hasn't made a move to replace his mask, and decides, what the hell. He looks up. He isn't sure what he expected; certainly not something half so strange as whatever Naruto had cooked up, in any case.
Kakashi is... handsome. Of course. The fact that this is unsurprising to Iruka is unexpected. He tries not to think about what that means, instead focusing his attention on Kakashi, who actually looks a little bit awkward and unsure of himself, like he's waiting for Iruka to say something. He's even paler under his mask, which somehow seems like it should be impossible. Iruka can see the slightest hint of freckling across Kakashi's nose, and notes that the small bit of scar running under Kakashi's eye actually continues to the base of his nose. Iruka brushes away his curiosity, which can be brought up at a different time, and simply looks Kakashi in the eye, biting his lower lip slightly as he studies him. He feels warm.
Because he really and truly can't think of anything to say, Iruka says the first thing that comes into his mind. "Oh..." The very second it's out of his mouth, he flushes bright red in embarrassment. He stifles the urge to clap a hand over his mouth, or to lean across the table and... Iruka coughs, curling a hand around his mug and lifting it to his lips, just for something to do, determined not to say anything else until he gets a grip.
Kakashi chuckles, first quietly, then out-right laughing, head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut in mirth. Iruka chokes on his tea, partially because he's so, so mortified that Kakashi finds his deep discomfort and inability to be normal funny, and partially because Iruka has never seen someone so gorgeous as Kakashi is, right in this moment, unable hold back his laughter. He's gripping his mug, head tipped back so that his hair is flopping slightly with each laugh. It's ridiculous, but Iruka doesn't want to blink, doesn't want this fragile moment to end.
Iruka wants to say: You're so attractive. Or: What is wrong with you? Or even: What is wrong with me?
Instead, he blurts out the biggest non sequitur his brain can manage, mouth running as if of its own accord. "I, uh. Got my scar when I was a kid. Naruto mentioned before. Mizuki-- I've known him for a while-- didn't mean to do it, I suspect. We were just bored, just messing around with kitchen knives one summer..." Iruka huffs a short laugh, eyes unfocused, aware that Kakashi's stopped laughing.
"My mother really screamed at us when she was done panicking; I couldn't stop crying, I'd never seen so much blood at once. It's, uh. It's not a very interesting story. But. Well. You didn't look at my scar. I mean-- When we first met. That's what people usually look at first, but you didn't."
Iruka doesn't know what he's thinking by bringing this up. He knows he sounds ridiculous, and that his face has to be bright red, because he feels so hot all of a sudden. He knows that Kakashi is staring at him, but Iruka can't bring himself to look Kakashi in the eye. He knows that this is, without a doubt, the most ridiculous thing he's ever brought up in a conversation that started out more or less normal. He knows, and wishes he had a second chance to go back and pluck the words out of the air. Instead, he strokes a hand over his hair, tugging at his ponytail, trying and failing to be calm.
"Iruka..."
Iruka doesn't flinch, but it's a close thing. He would apologize, but can't think of what he could possibly say. 'Sorry I ruined a perfectly normal conversation because your face is distracting?' Out of the corner of his eye, Iruka sees Kakashi's head tilt, as if in thought.
"You have nice eyes," Kakashi says, which causes Iruka's head to snap up, startled. Surely he'd heard wrong. There's no way-- it has to be a joke-- But Kakashi isn't smirking, there is no teasing note in his voice.
"I'm sorry?"
Kakashi chuckles good-naturedly, rising from the floor. "Your eyes, Iruka-sensei. They're nice. That's the first thing I noticed."
Then he walks away, leaving Iruka bewildered, face hot, and slightly indignant for it. Not for the first time, he wonders if he's going crazy.
* * *
The day of Naruto's party arrives, and Iruka has been so busy and overworked with the planning of it that he almost sleeps through every one of his alarms. Because it's a Sunday, Naruto sleeps in, and Iruka coerces Kakashi and the rest of the security team into helping him with the finishing touches. Iruka had had a moment of foresight, deciding that a party including elementary school-age children ought to be held outdoors. The backyard of the Uzumaki mansion is quite large, though seldom utilized, and Iruka has seen to it that tables and chairs are set up.
Iruka doesn't think of what the boy's previous birthdays must have been like, and can't quite bring himself to read too much into the utterly bowled over, vulnerable look in Naruto's eyes when he'd been told to get ready for his party.
"It's a party for me?"
"Who else would it be for, silly?"
"Kakashi-sensei's here," the boy had said, eyes too bright, like he couldn't believe it. "And others are coming, too?"
"Well, of course."
"Even that jerk Sasuke?"
"Manners, Naruto."
"Er, sorry, Iruka-sensei."
It's easy not to think of these things when he can watch the boy running around barefoot, exuding unbridled glee and wearing a lopsided party hat, fleeing in earnest from a determined looking Sakura. Iruka smiles widely and turns his attention to the other guests. His eyes, inevitably, are drawn to Kakashi, and this isn't something he wants to think too much about either, just now.
Kakashi holds himself with a level of discipline that speaks of years of experience and control and poise if not some military training as well. It's not that he's constantly rigid or at attention or even looking serious; quite the opposite, in fact. It's that even in his trademark slouch, in the bored look the man wears everywhere, Iruka can see the underlying tension, like a coiled spring, everything else simply a cleverly crafted picture of indifference.
It is subtle, something Iruka would miss if it weren't for the fact that he's studying Kakashi, trying to analyze the man without half realizing it, and even then it's too easy to take the man's facade for granted. It melts away when Iruka blinks and Kakashi is letting himself be tackled by Lee and Kiba, and Iruka can't put words to the swell of emotion he feels when Kakashi looks up, straight at him. Iruka's face goes red at being caught staring.
This distraction is how Anko gets the drop on him, gleefully dumping a full cup of ice down his shirt and cackling madly at his shout of outrage before sprinting away easily. Somehow, the security team is having as much fun as the children. Well, a good amount of the security team, in any case.
Lee has been accompanied by his father, Gai, who had volunteered to help keep an eye on the kids. It turns out that Kakashi and Gai actually know each other fairly well, though apparently neither had expected to see the other at a birthday party. Iruka watches their exchange with a mix of amusement and mild bewilderment. If nothing else, their dynamic is a decidedly odd one.
"My Most Esteemed Rival!"
"Gai."
"So cool, as always!"
Kakashi gets a look in his eye, but just before Iruka can classify it as dangerous and attempt to flee, he's being pulled by the wrist to be introduced.
"This is my boyfriend, Iruka."
"I, er, yes. We do know each other, Kakashi."
Granted, Gai knows him as Lee's teacher, and not as Kakashi's boyfriend, but that's hardly the point. The point is that Kakashi really, really looks entirely too pleased with himself, now that he's found a victim to act as a buffer between himself and Gai. Iruka privately swears revenge by creative means, especially when Izumo and Kotetsu start making ridiculous faces at him from across the yard.
"Fair Iruka-Sensei Is The Beloved Of My Good Friend Kakashi! This Is Quite A Happy Coincidence!"
Then, the man actually bows. When he straightens up, the grin he's wearing somehow catches the sun and is so blinding that Iruka actually winces. Next to him, Kakashi has gone suspiciously silent, and if Iruka didn't know better, he might say that the man's cheekbones are looking a bit more... pink, than usual.
"I am going to kill you," Iruka mutters, from the corner of his mouth.
"Can you be persuaded to make it quick?" Kakashi replies, brushing their elbows together.
Iruka learns a lot of things. He learns that Kakashi and Gai are old childhood friends and that Gai is a cop (oddly fitting, Iruka thinks) and that Lee's enthusiasm is definitely influenced by Gai. He learns that Kakashi isn't nearly as put out by the man as he's currently pretending to be, and that Gai can do an absurd amount of walking around on his hands alone. Later, when they part ways because Iruka has to pull Sasuke and Naruto apart, he hears a loud Crash! come from the house.
Gai and Kakashi may or may not have broken a lamp in the excitement they call an arm wrestling contest that somehow had turned into a vigorous dance-off-- that's if Iruka is actually getting the gist of the story right. He decides that he really, really doesn't want to know the finer details of it. Kakashi had tried to blame it on Akamaru, but in the end, Iruka makes him and Gai clean up the sorry remains of the shattered lamp while he busies himself with checking on the children. He's vaguely worried about the rest of the furniture until Gai and Kakashi sheepishly come back outside in time for cake.
Bullying Kakashi into singing 'Happy Birthday' with the rest of the party is definitely one of the high points in Iruka's day, right up there with the look of absolute, irrepressible glee written on Naruto's features by the end of the song. Then there are presents, and Naruto beams so widely that Iruka's chest almost aches.
It's no surprise that Naruto's favorite presents are ninja related in some way or another. What does surprise Iruka is when Naruto is in the middle of opening one, Kakashi goes quite still, as if he's holding his breath. Iruka looks from Naruto, to the half unwrapped gift, and then to Kakashi before realization dawns. Kakashi is actually nervous about his how his gift will be received. Oddly enough, the anticipation on Naruto's features practically mirrors Kakashi's own, and Iruka promptly chokes on his cake when the first word he can think of to describe it happens to be 'adorable'. He has to be thwacked repeatedly on the back by Kakashi before raising a hand to let everyone know he's fine, embarrassed at making a scene. Naruto had actually paused to regard him with some concern.
Naruto unwraps presents like most children of his age, tearing at paper with the kind of fervor that Iruka can hardly remember feeling, it's been so long. Still, the boy looks more blissfully happy than Iruka can recall, like he has more than enough joy to share with everyone at the party and then some. Naruto's mouth is a wide 'o' as he pulls out what look to be authentic tabi socks, a book about the history of ninja, a set of plastic shuriken, and a mask that bears quite the resemblance to Kakashi's own.
Something ignites in Iruka's chest, like a spark, when Kakashi's arm brushes casually against his, tentative, and Iruka doesn't hesitate to reciprocate the action. Because it can't be an accident, the brush of the arm, the carefully chosen gifts, all of the meticulously placed words in their conversations leading up to this point, and Iruka is really and truly out of his depth. Kakashi is all mystery and reservedness wrapped up in indiscernible motives and unexpected kindness and beautiful ethereality. He is all of those things and still manages to hides his wildness under the surface, just out of reach until he needs to call upon it. Iruka thinks: That shouldn't be so endearing, and: Kakashi looks so much younger without the mask, and: I really never had a chance.
Iruka feels cold and hot and unable to keep up with specific words, because the sights and sounds surrounding him have become a bit of a blur. When he remembers this day, this moment, it will be made up of stuttered memories; the most stark images imprinted in his mind forever, enshrouded with a mix of euphoria and fear and the sensation of clear laughter: Naruto launching himself at Kakashi in a hug around the waist, Kakashi's surprise, Naruto refusing to let the man go for a good few seconds, and Kakashi's halfhearted attempts to pry him off. Iruka will remember the feeling of his heart constricting in his chest as he laughs along, and the way Kakashi turns to him and manages to convey countless words without opening his mouth.
Iruka will remember this visceral ache and the way it translates into wanting more than anything to turn and kiss the man full on the mouth, in front of everyone, and... not having the nerve to do so.
* * *
"Naruto is literally a party animal," Kakashi remarks, later, face hidden behind Icha Icha as he pretends to help Iruka clean up the aftermath of the party.
"I think he did less damage than you and Gai. Though I still can't believe he hugged you for giving him a book," Iruka chuckles.
"Maa, was going to go for Icha Icha, but..."
"Kakashi, he's nine."
"Exactly! Too young to enjoy the finer aspects of Icha Icha, I thought."
"Well, he certainly appreciated your gifts, if not your presence. So I wanted to thank you, again. For being here today."
"Maa, it was nothing."
"No, it really wasn't." Iruka smiles, feeling warm as he recalls Naruto's face. "You didn't have to get him anything, but he really looks up to you, you know."
Kakashi makes a noncommittal sound, which is mostly to cover up how pleased he is by the comment. "If I go blind from that jacket, you will be to blame."
"It is very orange," Iruka agrees. He'd seen it in the store and immediately thought of Naruto. When the boy had unwrapped it, crowing with delight, Iruka had breathed a sigh of relief. Presents were tricky. Iruka had not had very many birthday parties as a child, and is always drawn to purchasing practical gifts for others. Or, as his friends like to tease him, boring ones. Iruka's only worry is that he hasn't thought far ahead enough to come up with a way to make the boy take the jacket off. It could be a problem. He'd also included books in his gift, but he's pretty sure the hug he'd received was more for the jacket and ramen vouchers.
"You really think he looks up to me?"
"Well... yes," Iruka chuckles, because it should really be obvious to the man at this point. "Though I can't imagine why. I can still kick your ass at the Wii."
"Oho," Kakashi says, pushing off of the arm of the couch, where he's been leaning. He stalks towards Iruka, a mischievous gleam in his eye. "Is that so, sensei. What do you say to some... actualsparring, then?"
When Iruka ignores him to bend over and pick up a napkin, Kakashi actually whistles. Iruka can feel his cheeks heat, which is really, really getting old. "The party's over, you lousy pervert, you can drop your cover already," Iruka deadpans without thinking, rolling his eyes as he straightens up, but it must come out more harshly than he means it to.
Kakashi is standing very still, with an indecipherable look on his features. When Iruka blinks, it's gone, already shunted away, and the man is wearing a perfectly neutral expression, the cracks in his facade gone. "I see."
Iruka kicks himself, quick to apologize. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean--"
"No," Kakashi interrupts, still feigning nonchalance, "No, ah, you're right, Iruka-sensei. I apologize. I should go. It's getting late. My apologies for overstaying my welcome. I won't trouble you further."
"Kakashi, that isn't even--"
"Have a good night, Iruka-sensei."
Minutes after Kakashi's gone, Iruka is still standing there, reeling, because What just happened? Finally, he snaps out of it, throwing himself into a nearby chair. "You idiot," he says, vehement. "You utter, utter idiot!"
He isn't sure who he's talking to.
* * *
The morning that it all gets shot to hell starts off relatively normal. Miserable, but normal enough. Looking back, Iruka isn't able to bring himself to be too surprised by the way things play out, hindsight being what it is.
It's a Monday, and Iruka has not had a good night's sleep, which never bodes well when one is about to face a classroom of energetic children. The fact that it's at least half Kakashi's fault doesn't make things any better, because the man is nowhere to be found. Iruka has tried his best to brush off what had happened the previous night as a silly misunderstanding, but the tangle of emotions he's combating doesn't make it easy. It's annoying that Kakashi should affect him at all, really.
But Naruto is a great distraction if there ever was one-- the boy bursts into the kitchen where Iruka is trying to keep busy by making apple pancakes. He's wearing his new orange jacket over his pajamas, beaming, and Iruka finds himself grinning back. "I hope you're hungry."
Naruto wrinkles his nose at the idea of fruit in his pancakes, but ends up being pleasantly surprised.
"Where is Kakashi-sensei?"
"I'm not sure," Iruka says, trying to come across as nonchalant. "I'm sure he'll turn up."
By the time they're on their way out the door, Iruka has almost succeeded in putting the man out of his mind, too caught up instead with helping Naruto search for his misplaced backpack. Kakashi turns out to be waiting outside. The car ride on the way to school is tense, and is thankfully filled with Naruto's oblivious ramblings, which serve to combat the awkward silences. When Kakashi does deign to speak to him, it's all businesslike and terse, and Iruka hates it.
Because it isn't Kakashi. Because now that he actually knows the man, it's painfully obvious.
Things continue at a steady pace of agony for a good portion of the day. Iruka knows he's being silly, that he's probably overreacting, that he needs to get over it, find some way to fix things-- but it's Kakashi that's avoiding him, Kakashi that's ignoring him when he tries to start up a conversation or make eye contact, and Kakashi that storms out of the room as soon as the lunch break rolls around, like he can't wait to get away from Iruka. It's hard not to take it personally, and Iruka quickly goes from hurt to downright angry at the situation.
Iruka's mood isn't helped any by the realization that he's left his lunch at home, and he feels a massive headache coming on. Which is why, when Kakashi bursts into the room, looking panicked, Iruka's first instinct is to scream at the man.
"Kakashi, you idiot!" he shouts, rising from his desk so quickly that the chair topples over behind him. Kakashi goes stiff, visible eye narrowed, obviously not anticipating being insulted upon entering. "I've been trying to apologize to you all day, and you are making it really, really diffi--"
"Naruto's missing."
All of the color drains out of Iruka's face at once. "What?"
"Naruto is missing."
Iruka runs.
He doesn't get very far, because Kakashi runs after him, grabbing onto the sleeve of his shirt and whirling him around. Kakashi looks furious, but that's just on the surface. He looks terrified. Iruka's fury ebbs away with each deep breath. He needs to be calm, he needs to be rational.
"Iruka, listen. We never actually expected Naruto to be in any danger, but--"
"What!"
"Look, it's a bit complicated-- We knew there was a company spy, but we misjudged. We never expected more than one person to be involved-- Mizuki-- anyway, my job was to find and eliminate the spy, and we thought..."
"You thought it was me? Why would--"
"We didn't know! We were sure it had to be someone who had access to the house but wasn't under excessive scrutiny. It was the most logical--"
"But Mizuki?"
"Has been acting as the go-between for Orochimaru and the company spy for months, but we-- we think he's become impatient and intends to curry favor with Orochimaru by kidnapping Naruto."
"And you let him out of your sight because you thought I was the spy!"
"No, no I didn't, actually. I did it because those were my orders. And you can shout at me later, when Naruto's safe!"
Iruka can't breathe. His heart seems to be pounding somewhere in between his ears, and his chest aches and he can't even begin to process the information that Kakashi's just dumped on him, and its implications.
Naruto is missing.
Mizuki has Naruto.
Mizuki is in league with the spy.
Mizuki has Naruto.
Naruto is--
All Iruka can do is run through the halls of the school, hoping that he or Kakashi can find the boy; they've split up, but they really have no idea where to start. Genma and the team won't be arriving for a while yet, and Iruka's stomach does a sickening flip, because what if it's too late by then? He thinks in terms of logic and efficiency and figures, in routes and blueprints and strategy. He knows this school and he knows Naruto and he'd thought he knew Mizuki. He thinks, I am going to kill him. I am going to kill him with my bare hands and it still won't be enough, it is never going to be enough if he's hurt Naruto. He thinks, Was everything about Kakashi just an elaborate act?
He tries to stop thinking, then.
* * *
The grounds of the academy are vast, and Iruka is running out of breath, but when he hears the sound of a gunshot ring out, he flies towards the source.
He thinks, no silencer? He thinks: faster.
* * *
Naruto has a gun and Mizuki is snarling and Naruto is backing away, panting, and Mizuki is lunging for the boy and Naruto has a gun.
He doesn't manage to keep ahold of it for very long.
* * *
The scene is frozen like a still image, like a paused movie: Naruto and Mizuki and a gun and the space between them, and the space between Iruka and them, all that space, stretching and shrinking.
Mizuki is breathing heavily and Naruto is trembling with fear and Iruka is sailing through the air but feels like he's moving through water.
Time is frozen; it's the space of a split second that seems to go on forever for Iruka, like a single note looping endlessly. There was no space for a decision, but just enough time for instinct, and now this: The gunshot and the burst of pain and Naruto's scream and... Kakashi's voice, rending the air? It doesn't make any sense.
And then, Mizuki's shout of pain.
No, that's out of order. Everything is chaos.
Iruka crumples, but somehow manages to land so that he's shielding Naruto. That's important-- that's the only thing he can hold on to, just now. Iruka's eyes focus and unfocus and there is pain and shouting and blood and another gunshot and then Mizuki's shout of pain. Iruka's chest hurts and his head hurts and his fingertips hurt, which makes no sense. Naruto whimpers and Kakashi's face comes into view and all Iruka can say or try to say is, "You're late." He tastes blood.
Kakashi's next words surge and ebb as darkness creeps in on Iruka's senses. Got lost on the road of life, I'm sorry, Iruka-- hang in there, don't you dare-- It sounds like forced levity and terror and desperation and Iruka laughs, or coughs, and there is more blood in his mouth, now. He promptly passes out.
* * *
Iruka wakes amid beeping and whirring machines, shivering. Returning to consciousness is slow going and comes in waves. He hears the machines, and a low voice, and feels the cold. There is pain, a persistent if somewhat dulled ache, like he's still too groggy to process it fully. Iruka's stomach rolls at the scent of disinfectant-- hospital? --and he fights to open his eyes.
He regrets it when he does, biting down on the panic of seeing so many tubes and wires and machines and Kakashi. The light is blinding, and Iruka feels as if all of his energy has been spent in waking up, which is ironic, but thinking about it just intensifies the ache. He squeezes his eyes shut, wincing.
He says, "Hrngh?"
"Shh, I'll be here when you wake up."
There is the sensation of warmth, on his cheeks-- no, just one, like the gentle stroke of knuckles, and Iruka drifts back to sleep, mildly puzzled.
* * *
When he wakes up the second time, Iruka is sure it's Kakashi's voice that he's hearing, deep and even and washing over him like warmth. His brain feels less muddled, though the sensation of pain persists. Iruka groans and says, "Are you reading me Icha Icha?" He blinks fully awake at Kakashi's answering chuckle, then freezes.
"Naruto--"
"Is perfectly fine, sensei. Relax."
"You are not off the hook," Iruka mutters, willing his muscles to unclench.
"For reading you Icha Icha?"
"You know exactly what I mean. Incorrigible pervert. Can't you let me die in peace?"
"You can't mean that-- here, listen, I was just getting to the good part!"
Iruka regards Kakashi with a scowl, because everything hurts, and there is a madman sitting in his hospital room being insufferable. He says as much.
"Oh, I'm the madman? If you'll recall, Iruka-sensei, I'm not the one with a penchant for flinging myself in front of guns. Usually."
Kakashi's words are mocking, but his tone is shaky, forced. He's sitting close to the bed in what looks to be a horribly uncomfortable hospital chair, and, true to Iruka's expectations, is holding Icha Ichain his free hand. Iruka looks down, and says, "Oh," because Kakashi's other hand is tightly gripping his own, radiating warm reassurance. How had he not noticed that before now? Kakashi blinks, then quickly drops it, apologizing.
The warmth fades, and Iruka glances up at the ceiling. Like if he looks hard enough, he can see all of the half-formed, unsaid questions and words and deeds and the future, hanging over their heads, almost palpable. This could be fate. Or love. Or whatever drugs he's on that make it difficult to untangle the present from the future, to choose a course of action.
It's probably a mixture of all of it, Iruka thinks, as the moment stretches on like a held breath. Like the moment before taking a leap of faith. He makes a decision-- or he made it some time ago-- it doesn't really matter-- and follows through.
He says, "No, wait, I--" and grabs Kakashi's hand back. His cheeks redden and he mutters, "This is such a cliche," and time snaps back to normal all at once, like an exhalation, like he can finally breathe.
"It's only a cliche if I offer you a sponge bath, isn't it?"
Iruka barks out a laugh, ignoring the pain that comes along with it. "I didn't mean a porn cliche, you idiot."
"Is that a 'no' on the sponge bath, then?" Kakashi wiggles his eyebrows, chuckling.
"Oh god, I'm actually stuck with you, aren't I? I'm doomed."
Instead of firing back with an expected retort, Kakashi goes quiet, sober, frowning. "You underwent two hours in surgery, you know. We were sure you were gone-- you should have seen Anko and Naruto and--"
Iruka's heart clenches in a way that has nothing to do with his recent chest wound. He studies Kakashi closely, the way his voice cracks and his expression topples, and how it's rebuilt in the space of seconds, smoothing out. "Oh," he says again, and squeezes Kakashi's hand, going for a bright smile that makes his face twinge. "But I'm fine now, alright?"
"You had better be," Kakashi growls out, squeezing back.
"You were scared," Iruka breathes, half amused, half in awe. "You-- you're still-- It wasn't all an act."
Kakashi flinches, as if burned, and ducks his head to hide his features. "Did you really think it was?"
"Well, was it?"
"You are impossible," Kakashi mutters. He straightens up to look Iruka directly in the eyes. Iruka takes in the sight of him, rumpled shirt and wilting hair and almost imperceptibly trembling hands.
"And you're not always as brave as you would have people think," Iruka says, but without ire. He looks at the sterile white walls, looks at the wires and tubes still connecting him to various machines, and sighs. It's a little hypocritical, he thinks, justified or not. "But then, neither am I."
Kakashi hums thoughtfully, silent for a few moments before pulling down his mask with his free hand, his mouth quirked into an unreadable expression. "I rather think I resent that, Iruka-sensei."
Iruka only has a split-second warning before Kakashi's lips seal over his.