Nobody's Calling Me A Hero

Alexander Kirsanov

I didn't get involved till Monday night. It all happened by accident. A friend of my wife's dropped in and started carrying on about how Yanaev was right. That he stood for justice. That they'd string up a few of the speculators, that some decree had been issued so now things would be cheaper. And I told her she was a fool. There wasn't anything for them to make cheaper anyway. The same logic makes you ask, how on earth are they going to raise people's pay? Then I said I was sick of arguing and was going to have a look at things for myself. I don't live far from Manezh Square. I went down there and started chatting with the soldiers standing around. They were saying that they had been getting ready to go to a club at the garrison when the next thing they knew, orders were coming at them left right and centre. They were put on alert and kitted out for action. Only thing was, they weren't given any bullets. Now, they were standing here on the Manezh with empty magazines. I had a look for myself. It was true. Fact is, someone nearby said trucks with ammunition were standing on Herzen St. But I can verify that the lads standing in the cordons didn't have any ammunition. Weapons, but no bullets. Just then they got an order to move the people onto the sidewalk. It was about seven or eight in the evening on the 19th.

Next thing, someone came along with Yeltsin's appeal to the people. One fellow volunteered to read it out loud. Said he had a good voice. So he read it out, and then he says: "Well, it looks like we'd better go up there, to the White House." And that's what we did.

Up there I realised that a lot of people were just standing around listening to speeches. But things had to be done. There were plenty of people at the White House. Half of them seemed to be simply having a look around. The other half were already working hard, they had already been organised. They were moving about briskly, obviously with a purpose. All the time, more people like myself were arriving.

As soon as I got to the self-defence organisers they put me straight into a unit, along with others who had just come up. An announcement kept going out over the loudspeaker system that anyone wanting to help should go over to this guy with a megaphone standing under a flag. When enough for a unit had gathered, he told them to choose a leader from amongst themselves. With our group, someone immediately piped up: "I'll do it." Perhaps he just felt he could do it. Organise people, that is.

Once we were sorted out, this fellow told us to remember one another's faces and then we left by the main staircase. It was already barricaded off. But a narrow opening had been left so that people could go up and down. Going down I could see how you could tell who was in charge. They were all wearing red headbands. We kept asking the people we passed to join us, lend a hand, but most of them were just standing around staring.

Our group went down to build a barricade in front of Entrance Two. There I heard word that they needed drivers. Well, I'm a driver. I headed over. They sent us to the Comecon building. There were already tanks there which had crossed over to our side, I think they were from the Ryazan Division, though I never bothered checking. There must have been a couple of thousand people there. It would be difficult to say. But it wasn't at all like the usual herd milling about at some festival. Everyone was organised and knew what they were doing. They were either standing around the tanks like they were on guard or they were getting something or other done. Not too many people appeared to be drinking either. It was a pretty sober sort of crowd. Meanwhile they were doing a great job of keeping the traffic moving along Kalinin Prospekt. This way to the White House, that way to Comecon...

The group I was in climbed into a bus. Some driver from Intourist had come along with his bus so he could do his bit. He drove us up to where Kalinin Prospekt goes over the Ring Road. It was about 9pm. What traffic there was, was still flowing smoothly. There we got off the bus and split into two groups. One group headed down to Smolensk Square while we went over to Vosstanie Square.

For the most part, the people on the streets just stared at us. As though they didn't know anything was going on. They were on their way home from work or were out walking their dogs. First, we headed over to the Old American Embassy. We started pulling up trucks down there, getting their drivers to swing them around so we could start building a barricade out of them. Not at the Embassy itself. Just down from it where the ring road goes under Kalinin Prospekt. When we started building our barricade, there were about twenty of us. At one stage it got down to six or seven. But then some of the people standing watching decided to give us a hand and we ended up with about fifteen. We stopped trucks and trolley-buses and sent them over to join the road block.

Later, when we finished, we all climbed up on top of the buses we had made into a barricade and rested, smoking. I was sitting next to a guy who had been there since morning. Then someone, it looked like it could have been his father, or at least someone related, an elderly sort of fellow with a similar sort of face, came over and said that down there, pointing towards the White House, they had announced an officers' meeting for 1.30am to organise civil defence. It turned out the lad sitting next to me was a former officer. His name was Vadim. Departing, he said: "Heh fellas, don't call me a chicken, but I have to go." And he left. I mulled this over for about fifteen seconds and then I said: "And don't call me a chicken either. I'm not an officer, but I did serve in the paratroopers and I think I had better go with him." So the two of us headed down the street beside the American Embassy, past the Mir Hotel, back to the White House.

We arrived at the meeting a touch late. Compared to earlier, the crowd had thinned a bit. All the officers were gathered at Entrance Two. The designated commanders of the self-defence brigades were all standing next to the guy with the megaphone who had originally organised us into groups. He was ordering each of the groups to occupy a particular place in the chains looping the building. Vadim and I ended up in the central group. We walked down and then heard a command that the first chain was to stand on the bottom step, the second chain, two steps up, and the third chain, two steps up again. Our chain shuffled about. Vadim and I looked at each other. It was clear that we had ended up with a group of stragglers who really had no idea where they were going or what they were doing. Neither of us really wanted to be there. But there didn't seem to be anything else to do. It took about twenty minutes to get all the chains organised. After which, all the entrances were blocked. Even the narrow path they had left on the central staircase was now completely blocked. We spent the night that way. When dawn broke, I went home.

***

I slept the whole day. It was the 20th. I woke up in the evening and headed out. I had agreed to meet Vadim at seven. But I was late. I dropped in on a few friends to see if they wanted to come. Turned out, one was already in bed fast asleep. Another one said we might get killed there. So in the end I went there by myself. Vadim and I had agreed to meet in the first chain. But when I arrived, I didn't recognise a single face from the night before in the front chain. Already there were two to three times as many people as there had been the day before. I didn't feel like building barricades anymore. I figured that I would be of more use if I went out and scouted around, having a look at what was going on. So I headed down to Manezh Square a second time. There it was pretty quiet. Columns of APCs were still standing around, but nothing was happening. I headed back and decided to do the rounds of the barricades at the White House one last time in the hope of running into someone from last night's group. I wanted to see them because these new people meant nothing to me. After working with the other guys the night before building the barricades, I felt we had something in common. If I'd met up with them and someone had told us to build a barricade I would have been happy to do it.

I sat smoking for a while. Then someone came over and started suggesting I go back to the barricade on Vosstanie Square that I had helped build out of trolley-buses the night before. But just then, even as he was talking about going back to the barricades, shooting rang out from that very direction. I bolted up to the square.

When I arrived I saw that most of the APCs had already got through the barricades and were roaring off in the direction of the Foreign Ministry building without so much as even looking back. Others, though, were pulled up in front of the trolley-buses on the other side of the tunnel. Three or four APCs were nudging the buses with which we had closed off the square. There were three rows of buses on the one side, and three on the other at the exit to the tunnel under Kalinin Prospekt. One APC was simply jerking from side to side. It was weird. Several APCs were already tangled up amongst the buses. One more APC managed to get through and it sped off at full throttle without even pausing to see what would happen to the others, or if any more of them would get through. We decided straightaway to turn a bus over standing beside the hole to block it. But we couldn't topple it, even when we rammed it with a tow truck. The tow truck's driver revved it and backed it up flat out into the side of the trolley-bus. But the bus just wobbled and wouldn't turn over. Then we decided to push a second bus a bit further in to shut the hole. We almost had it closed when a second APC bashed its way into the hole. We had managed to shove the bus part way into the gap and more or less seal it. If we'd had twenty seconds more we would have blocked this second APC.

But then this other bastard, 536, began bashing into the people. You have to understand, even if they were terrified at having to answer for running through the people in front of the American Embassy, they still had time to get out. The hole must have been open for at least five minutes. But it was as though this particular one couldn't make up its mind what to do. When we had the hole closed I ran over and saw that its back hatch was hanging open. I could see something flapping against it. The APC lurched back and forth several times dragging whatever it was along with it. At first, I thought it was a rag hanging out of the hatch. Then I realised the rag had hands and feet. I stopped dead and stared, in a trance. Everything happened so quickly, but it seemed to take so long. Some guy was trying to pull the body out of the hatch. The next thing he slipped and fell under the APC's track. It went straight over the top of him. Then the soldiers inside tossed the body out that was hanging from the hatch so they could close it. And the APC began to swing around. It slid backwards, straight into the parapet where I was standing. I watched stunned and only managed to jump down just as it hit. It was as though the APC itself had gone out of its mind, the way it was behaving. It smashed into the parapet once, rolled forward a touch, then a touch more. Then it straightened up a fraction, turning on the left track. Next thing it ran straight forward into its own three machines standing there. It bashed into the back machine several times. Watching this, I finally snapped out of my daze.

I noticed that 536 had all its hatches battened down, ready for a fight. While the other three APCs, standing there doing nothing, they all had their hatches open, soldiers were visible in them. They could see everything that was happening. But the driver of 536 couldn't see these three machines, that they were sitting there. And most likely when he ran into them he thought they were battened down too and in the same sort of trouble he was in. Though I remember thinking there could have been another explanation. The officer inside must have known they had run through the people at the first barricade and that they were caught in a trap. Maybe he had just pulled his pistol out and stuck it into the back of the driver's head and told him to drive. For his part, the driver may have been looking for a way of stopping the APC. It's possible because either he had gone mad or he was trying to stop his APC by wrecking it.

All this took only seconds to digest. I ran off to find something to throw at the APC. Either to throw or stick in its tracks. Beside me, a man gave a long whistle. He was holding a can of petrol. I could tell by the smell. I was looking for something to throw. And the next thing I saw were two empty champagne bottles on the sidewalk. I remember it clearly: the man had a can of petrol, I grabbed the two bottles and filled them. I stuck a piece of rag into their necks, the way you're meant to, then I lit the rags and hurled the bottles.

At this point 536 again headed into the trolley-buses and began bashing into them. They had already dragged off the first body, the second one as well. We were pouring the petrol a little further down from where they carried the body of the man who had been run over trying to drag the other body out of the hatch. The body was laid out on the ground at the corner of a house. Another man and I hurled the Molotov cocktails. Mine smashed on the armour of 536. The petrol spread, burning. The APC backed down towards the centre pylon of the bridge. There, it banged into the pylon a few times. Finally the flames began to catch. Then it began to crawl forward again. But some more bottles had been found. They filled them and hurled them at the APC.

I should add, to be fair to the other APCs and soldiers, it was just this one, 536, that was causing all the trouble. As for the others, I saw what happened when 521 was blocked. At first it twitched, turning, trying to push its way past the trolley-buses. This guy, his name was Anikeev, was standing next to it. He had a megaphone and he called out: "Where are you trying to go? We've got tanks waiting down there that have crossed over to our side, you'll have to shoot! And they'll be ordered to shoot!" For his part, the commander of the APC said that he wouldn't shoot. Just then though, the driver nudged forward again. The commander learnt over and banged him on the helmet, both of them had their hatches up, and told him to stop, stay there. And the driver pulled the APC up. There was another APC, 535, whose driver I spoke with later. It was also trying to nose its way through the trolley-buses. But he stopped too, and didn't move any further.

But this one, 536, when they set fire to it, it must have stopped moving for, oh, about three minutes, stock still. Nothing moving, even the hatches all remained shut. Then the back hatch was flung open, soldiers poured out. Well, at the same time, the crowds where closing in on them. They sprinted across the road to where 520 was standing. But then, right in front of everybody, they started shooting.

You can understand them though. They were fighting for their lives. The crowd was baying for their blood, screaming: "Murderers!". They realised they were close to being torn apart. And they began shooting. Later, even the guys standing down on the road below fighting the APCs all said the same thing. Everyone agreed that the soldiers had only shot into the air, into the air that's all. But the officer, who jumped out... This is what I saw, I'm sorry only that I can't remember his face, it's just a blur. I wouldn't even recognise him now if you showed me his photograph. I feel sorry that I can't. But everything else - the position of his body, his hand, the pistol - I remember it all clearly. He aimed the pistol down the side of 520 and started shooting in the direction of 521. The soldiers were shooting into the air. But his arm, I distinctly remember, it was horizontal, pointing towards the people standing beside 521. A man keeled over, shot dead. This Anikeev with the megaphone who had been standing next to him ran towards the soldiers and started screaming right into their faces, telling them to stop. For several moments everyone stopped confused. Then some people picked up the body and the soldiers from 536 stopped shooting and climbed up onto the armour of 520. 520 then pulled back and shifted into the middle of the road. The moment passed and a wave of elation ran through the crowd as they realised the shooting had stopped. Cheers broke out as 520 pulled back from the crowd. But the officer who had done the shooting was not on the armour. Then I got a glimpse of him. He was running the other way, slipping away between the trolley-buses. Later we found out that he had disappeared.

Meanwhile, the fire on 536 had been put out and the lads had started pulling its ammunition out to show the camera people there so they could film it to prove that the APCs were armed. No. 535 was entangled in the trolley-buses just in front of 536. We began to guide it out, forming a chain around it. I was pretty angry when people started shouting at these kids, and that's all these soldiers were, kids, eighteen, nineteen years old at the most. People in the crowd started yelling: "What're you doing! What're you letting them get away for?" Basically these kids hadn't done anything. Just driven into the buses and got jammed there. Talking to them, turns out that was how they got around carrying out their orders. They'd been told to drive to the barricades. So they'd driven to the barricades and jammed their APCs amongst them. That way, they'd done their duty without shooting or attacking the people. While we were still guiding it out some hot heads managed to get up on its armour and snare it, dragging it's weather cover over the ventilators and observation ports and hatches. But a policeman with a megaphone was already ordering them to get their hands off it. Seemed at least a few people's heads had cleared. At least someone had sobered up and realised that APCs shouldn't be fucked around with, and that everything had to be sorted out in a legal way.

I say "sobered up" but you have to understand what I mean. The people were drunk, drunk with rage from watching people get killed in front of their eyes. That's what I mean by "sobered up". Take this policeman. You could hardly say that he wasn't affected by what was going on around him, but his actions were the actions of an absolutely sober man. His mind was clear. He was protecting these soldiers who hadn't done anything from people who were ready to string them up. And he was right. You can't just go having a lynching party! The more so against soldiers who hadn't done a thing. Granted they were dressed in the same uniform, granted they were all from the same APCs. But they hadn't laid a finger on anybody.

The remaining APCs all pulled back under the bridge. About this time, a group of people's deputies drove up from the White House with Yeltsin's latest decree. The deputies began discussions with the soldiers, trying to convince them to pull out of the city, stop shooting and join the side of the Russian parliament.

I tell you, this is what amazed me, the way the Russian Supreme Soviet and Yeltsin worked. They must've only just got the information about the shooting, the APCs, but they had already issued and run off a decree ordering the commanders of units and ships stationed on Russian territory to take their forces back to their bases.

Down in the tunnel though, things were still pretty tense. The deputies were trying to talk with the soldiers. The commander of 521 was clearly the officer in charge, but the soldiers from 536 were still sitting on the armour of 520 and the people were screaming "Murderers!" and "Fascists!" at them. But this was already after the people had been killed. At the start of it all though, everyone had been shouting: "Don't shoot, stop!" One woman, young, blond hair, in a green overcoat, it's a miracle that she's still alive. She grabbed this Anikeev's megaphone and started shouting in an absolutely wild voice: "I beg you! I beg you! Don't shoot! These people are peaceful! What are you doing? Why are you doing this? Stop! Listen to us!" And when you think about it, apart from the APCs that got through the barricades and drove off, they did listen to the people, listened to her, and stopped and didn't shoot.

When I first ran up, I immediately jumped down from the parapet onto the road and then climbed up onto one of the three machines which were standing there doing nothing and also began talking to the soldiers: "You don't have to do this! You don't have to shoot! I used to be a soldier too, I understand what an order means. But you've got to have a head on your shoulders! These are your own people. This isn't somewhere in some other country, this is Moscow. You'll bloody well end up shooting your own mothers!" And in the end there was only this one bastard, 536. Didn't want to talk.

And when everything was over, we decided we'd take this bastard that had done the killing with us. Someone had pulled a hose outside of a window on the first floor and put the fire out on it. At first we weren't going to wait for the finish of the talks between the deputies and with the other machines under the bridge. We wanted to head off down to the White House and show everybody our trophy! Eventually cooler heads prevailed. In the end we did take it, but later, after they had already come to an agreement about the APCs under the bridge.

When it was already getting light and the street lamps had been turned off, I went down under the bridge. I spoke with the commander of 521, an Uzbeki captain. He told me: "I've got until 5 o'clock. We're all gonna stay here till 5 o'clock, and at 5 o'clock I'll go with you if you want me to." Well I understood then that they were a reconnaissance group. They'd been sent down here as a vanguard, if you like, and their job had been to radio back information about where all the barricades were and what was the best way of getting through. But then if there hadn't been any news from them by 5 o'clock, headquarters would try something different. At least that's how I understood it all. He said they had been standing on Tushina Airfield when they were ordered to take up positions in the city. As they didn't know Moscow, they'd just followed the directions they'd been given and set off. Along the way they came across these barricades here and then everything just happened. Well, forgive me, but I mean it's one thing to drive nice and peacefully to your position. If you happen to meet some people, surely you can open your hatches, you don't have to get out or anything, and you can explain: "See, we're going down here." And if the road's been blocked, you ask: "Do you mind letting us though?" I'm not even talking about getting out of your APCs and explaining anything to the people. So what's the fucking point in battening down all your hatches and shooting at people?! Even shooting in the air, I mean the bullets are going to come down anyway and hit someone. This Uzbeki captain was obviously hedging. This talk about standing around till 5 o'clock meant they were still following someone's orders. I didn't like it at all.

Five am passed though and nothing happened. All the APCs headed off in a convoy for the White House. I was riding on the armour of 521. On the way, an order came over the radio, requesting all officers to meet at the White House for talks. And this Uzbeki captain said: "What the fuck do I need to go down there for? Why the fuck do I have to answer for some idiot?" Obviously he wasn't very happy about 536. Worried he was, this Captain. But at least he had not attacked the people, and he had not shot anyone, not like this other officer who'd run off.

The soldiers from 536 which had done the killing were also riding with us. They spread them one or two to a machine amongst the other nine machines we were taking down to the White House. They sat them inside the armour so they wouldn't get torn apart. The mood was pretty ugly at the time and there were a lot of people out there that would have liked to string them up. Just imagine, you see your fiance getting killed in front of your own eyes. That's what I learned from a journalist from a Helsinki paper who was down there talking with people. He spoke with Usov's best man. Vladimir Usov, who was killed. He was meant to be getting married in October. He had been down at the barricades with his girl. She had seen him die.

***

I arrived home at about 10 o'clock in the morning. Turned on the TV. It was Channel 1, which was still under the control of the Emergency Committee. The commentator was explaining the events down on the Ring Road in which I had just taken part. Excuse my cynicism. Turns out the column had simply been out patrolling the streets. They were passing by the American Embassy when extremists started shooting at them from the windows round about. They returned the fire. And that was the whole of the explanation. I couldn't help thinking about this girl who'd just seen her fiance die. How would she react listening to this shit! The whole thing had been twisted. And it wasn't enough to start lying about extremists. The announcer went on. He read out an Emergency Committee decree stating that all the people who had been down at the barricades during the night were now criminals. Means I was a criminal too. Usov's dead, a criminal. His fiancee, she was a criminal too. To be fair to the newsreader, he didn't once look into the camera while he was reading out this decree. He couldn't look us in the eye.

Yeah, it was a hell of a fine night! A real party.

When it all started I was literally ready to tear anybody's head off who got in the way. But then, when it was over, and they'd stopped 536, my mood swung right around. I realised that we had to protect these kids who hadn't done a thing. I suppose it sounds a bit paradoxical. But I think I can explain what I did: the law is the most important thing. In the first instance, this APC which attacked the people, it was breaking natural human laws. But later, when it had been stopped, there was no point in letting the people get at these lads. It would have been breaking exactly the same laws.

And now, thinking about it, this is what I know. I know who really struggled, and didn't simply stand around watching from the parapet, and didn't just yell "Fascists!". I know who stayed sober, kept their heads, stopped the soldiers and calmed them down. And I know as soon as this happened, who then stopped the people from attacking them, these soldiers who hadn't done anything. These other people, the ones who hadn't done a thing themselves, just stood around yelling 'Fascists!'. As soon as the danger had passed, when they themselves might have been killed, they immediately fell on these defenceless soldiers. Gutless wonders... Or perhaps it was just a sign of the times, the average man syndrome.

I don't know why it happened to me. I'm meant to be part of that generation blessed by the Brezhnev era. Land of milk and honey, you know. But right from the start, I was one of those people who have to know the truth. Even my father and mother began to look at me out of the corners of their eyes for this: "How did you find that out?" they'd say, "Leave well enough alone." But I'm still searching for the truth, even today. That's most likely the reason why I ended up down there at the barricades. Or perhaps it's in my genes. My great grandfather worked in the Central Committee, at the time of the Revolution. Back then when these Bolshevik bastards really were still doing something for the people.

And you know what else stunned me that night! I know it's strange but I was amazed. You know it was raining all that night. When I first ran down there, I was soaked. But when everything was over, my jacket was dry. Perhaps it was due to the colossal amount of energy we were using up? I don't know. But I wasn't the only one to whom it happened.

***

Now, everyone wants to be a hero. Well, let them boast about themselves. I'm not offended that nobody's calling me a hero. Not in the slightest. So what if I remain unknown, but I paid my dues, I built those barricades from the trolley-buses, I set fire to an APC that was killing people, I stopped it. So what if only my wife knows, my neighbours, my friends... So what if no one else knows. The main thing is, I know!

I don't know what made me do it. Just something in my head said I had to be there. Why? I never asked myself. I had to be there. That's all. The other thing is, I don't know why, but I always have to be right there, in the thick of things. Don't know, maybe it's from serving in the paratroopers, maybe from something else. But I have to be where it's dangerous. It's in my blood... Not just with what happened now. Whenever we go anywhere, my wife is always having to hold me back: "Whatever you do, just don't get into a fight, don't go stirring things up, don't go taking sides..."

Maybe it's the fighting, yeah, the fighting. Someone only has to say one word out of place. But my wife always keeps an eye on me: "Steady now, steady." She's pretty used to me now, known me a long time. Even before we got married, she knew what she was getting herself in for. But I don't care. I'll go on fighting, stirring things up, taking sides. I love danger. But even more, I love justice. That's why I went down to the White House. To take sides, Russia's side, Yeltsin's. But I wouldn't have gone down there to take Gorbachev's side. One lad down on the barricades summed him up: "Spent too long fidgeting on his chair there, fidgeted so much he fell off." But I've always had a soft spot for Yeltsin. I trust him. Remember the year they threw Yeltsin out of the Central Committee? '87 I think it was. At the time I was a driver for a journalist from Pravda. So this storm was kicked up about Yeltsin getting the boot. And me and the correspondent had a chat about this. And he showed me some photographs that had been taken when he met Yeltsin. And then he said to me: "He's a strong son-of-a-bitch. He'll unite the people around himself yet." I believed this journalist because he said it all with so much conviction that there was no way I couldn't believe him. Later the press started getting stuck into Yeltsin, said that he was too fond of a drink, that he'd driven into the river drunk one night and had an accident or two because of it. Then this Italian paper wrote that he'd been on a binge over there, when he went to America. I didn't believe any of this. Because this Pravda journalist had not only told me, he had shown me the photographs. I saw the way Yeltsin carried himself, his manner, how he answered questions... In these photographs, I could see what sort of man he was!

***

I don't want to be taken the wrong way. But it's better that we had this coup. Because before it we had nothing but a politics of half measures. Inconsistent stupidity. And we had this constant standoff between Gorbachev and Yeltsin. One of them would issue a decree. The other one would repeal it. It was never clear who was in charge. And it would have dragged on like this for a long time, nice and peaceful like. But now Gorbachev is going to have to make a choice. And he's seen the mood of the people, without any sociological questionnaires. What use are they anyway? Everyone lies through their teeth on those questionnaires. Too afraid they'll get found out. During the coup though, the position of the people was unmistakable. Just look at the Kuzbass miners. They didn't need any information from Moscow before they went on strike. They were against the coup from the start. A lad from Lithuania spoke at the barricades. He said: "Muscovites, hold on, Lithuania is with you!" And this, despite the fact that all the press, the TV and the radio has been telling us for the last six months that Lithuania hates Moscow. After all, Moscow had sent tanks against Lithuania in January when they had all that killing down at the television tower in Vilnius. But when those very same tanks appeared in Moscow, Lithuanians supported us and supported Russia. This showed the attitude not only of Lithuanians, but of the whole of the Union. As far as I'm concerned, Gorbachev simply has to face reality. Because if he starts his fidgeting again, the next thing he'll find himself back on his backside on the floor.

Of course it's great that we won. But the main thing for me now is that they get the situation stabilised. I don't even mind these ration cards they're handing out these days. We've waited a long time, we can afford to wait a little bit longer. But it's no good getting a ration card if you can only dream about what you're meant to be able to buy with it. We need political stability. Right now, there's just confusion. One republic won't sell this to another. Another won't let this or that out of its territory. A third won't supply either of them with something or other. But now with this coup, I think things are going to get better.

Remember what all the famous astrologers said, Vanga, Pavel, Tamara Globa? They all said that a coup was likely in Moscow sometime in August, September. They predicted this a year ago. Both Pavel and Tamara Globa also said that '92 would be difficult, while real perestroika would not begin before the end of that year. So it looks to me like we're going to have to wait to the end of '92 at least.

In general, I'm an optimist. Earlier though, before this coup, there was no way life was going to get any better. It couldn't. I mean how could it, if every time Russia issued a decree, the Centre vetoed it. Half measures. Nothing was ever going to change, the way things were. Even if a decree's progressive, it means nothing if it isn't put into effect. Judge for yourself, seventy-four years now, we've had nothing but decrees about things getting better in the future. And every year they kept putting the future off, while everything just got worse and worse. Why? Because not one of those decrees ever got implemented properly.

I got a big boost out of being down there at the White House. There was a real sense of togetherness there. At one point, I even heard that the mafia were pouring their money into the defence of the White House. People from the surrounding houses were bringing us food and medicine. Punks on motorbikes were riding around the city doing reconnaissance: finding out where the tanks were, where they were headed. In other words all the different strata of the population were united. All of them down there defending Russia.

That sort of bond, that's the way we have to go, if we want to keep on living.

Alexander Kirsanov
August 22, 1991