snack attack
Last night I was hanging out alone, watching reruns of “King of Queens” and I had a hankering for something to snack on. There was little to nothing in my cupboards unless, of course, I was hungry for a cup of detox tea and a White Cheddar rice cake. Which, let’s be clear. Rice cakes should not be labeled as ‘flavored’ anything. It’s almost like- the idea of a flavor was turned into powder and then blown into your mouth with compressed air to coat it with the dust of flavor. Then, as soon as it hits your mouth and soaks up every last bit of moisture, the implication of flavor is gone and your mouth tastes like the aftermath of a cleaned up chemical spill.
So, I wasn’t hungry for the rice cakes.
I threw on a thicker shirt and some tennis shoes to go down the block to the Walgreens near my apartment. It closes at 10pm so I had to move quickly. Granted, it was only 7pm at the time but a sense of urgency always helps me be more decisive and as I was locking my door, I realized I had no idea what I wanted.
Every time I leave my building, I am reminded that I like it. Since moving to Chicago, I’ve lived in apartments that were created by setting aside a floor of a house. Nothing wrong with that set-up but I haven’t lived in an actual apartment building since I was back in Ohio and there was nothing particularly special about that building. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t have called it ‘my building’ at the time. It wasn’t much of anything and there wasn’t even a lobby, just a collection of apartments and a mass mailbox located in the vestibule. It was fine for what it was, but now, I live in a building and that’s nice.
The sun is setting to my back.
Dusk in Lincoln Park makes me think of New York. Something about the consistent height of the surrounding buildings combined with the angle of the light. The absence of bodegas brings me back to Chicago. But, in a last ditch effort to remember New York, my memory expects to see a horse drawn carriage heading north on Clark but all I see is a clump of busses; a twenty-two and two thirty-sixes. I thought that the new bus tracking system was supposed to help prevent clumping. But, I suppose if the buses are getting the same misinformation as the passengers then, it’s probably the cause of the clumping.
Five Guys smells good.
As I pass the Urban Outfitters Outlet, I remember John from Nick. He used to wear an interesting number of tank tops. Well, he’s not dead, so he still wears them- or I can only assume that he still does. I just haven’t seen him in months. When I was hanging out with him, he would wear a lot of them. Next to the tank tops I see a shirt that is made in the likeness of John Lennon’s I heart NY shirt however, in place of the heart, they’ve placed an icon in the shape of the state of Idaho. So, if I’m reading it correctly, it reads, I Idaho, Idaho. That doesn’t seem right. I Idaho, Idaho. Maybe there’s an irony that is lost on me. Irony often is. I realize that I should’ve crossed the street back at Five Guys but there’s very little traffic, so I jog across the road toward the U-LOCK-IT storage facility turned overpriced preschool.
Finally, irony I can understand.
The red LED ticker under the Walgreens sign informs me of deals on Milk, photo development and prescription transfer. I try to picture the person whose day was just made by this information. They need a gallon of two percent, a refill of their thyroid medication that CVS used to fill and two rolls of film from Jennifer’s bachelorette party developed. The maid of honor brought out the dare-deck and when Jennifer drew the veggie-felatio card, she was on that carrot like flavor powder on a rice cake. Also, where did we find such a huge carrot? I’ve never seen a carrot that big. It was literally the size of a toddlers arm.
I walked right past the carrots and on to the dry goods.
Jerky, nuts, popcorn, rice cakes- Cheddar Jalapeño flavor? I bet those taste better than those shitty White Cheddar ones. I’ll give them a try. Although I’m painfully aware that I’m about to walk out of Walgreens with the saddest collection of goods since that guy with the condoms, extension chord, a box rectal laxatives and a hammer-
Well, on second thought, it sounds like that guy is about to have a great night. That bag is not as sad as it should be. The sadder bag would probably be a tan silk turtleneck, an AS SEEN ON TV garden multi-tool, a four pack of light bulbs with one undiscovered broken bulb and a pair of suction cup hooks.
I remember to swipe my rewards card.
I have no clue what the rewards are for but I have thousands. Maybe some day I can redeem them for something great; maybe something mediocre. Until then, let’s see what these Cheddar Jalapeño flavor rice cakes taste like. I open them and take a healthy bite. Oh, wait... shit.