-Round and full of air (Ira)
-Sometimes Flat (KG)
-Both stink when you burn them (Claire)
-Worn out and about as much fun (Stephen)
What's the difference between a ukulele club wedding and a ukulele club funeral?
- One less drunk.
Two ukulele players walk into a bar...I forget the rest.
Why is it so hard to keep a ukulele in tune?
- So banjo players can feel superior about something.
What do you call ten ukuleles at the bottom of the ocean? - A good start.
How do you protect a valuable instrument?
- Hide it in an ukulele case.
What's the difference between a chainsaw and an ukulele?
- A chainsaw can be tuned.
What's the difference between an onion and an ukulele?
- No-one cries when you chop up an ukulele.
What's a gentleman?
- Somebody who knows how to play the ukulele but doesn't.
What's the range of an ukulele?
- Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
What's the difference between an ukulele player and a terrorist?
- Terrorists have sympathizers.
What's the difference between an ukulele and a banjo?
- The ukulele takes less time to burn.
If you drop a set of bagpipes and a ukulele off a 20-story building which one lands first?
- Who cares?
What's the difference between an Uzi and an ukulele? - The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.