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2011 Equinox

Bob Jensen (RD of the Cape Cod Frozen Fat Ass) barrels down the course like a madman.
TARC Fells Trail Ultra Vernal Equinox Edition Fat Ass Style Informal Race Run
Another Fells Trail Ultra has come and gone (with a HOWL!!!).  New for this year was the comforting embrace of the TARC umbrella and our inclusion in the TARC 2011 race series.  One of the major benefits of this umbrella was that a veritable cornucopia of GU products made their way over to our aid station and from thence into our bellies.  That's right- the TARC races are sponsored by GU!  Thanks to the TARC'ers, and thank to the GU'ers!
Josh Katzman pulled out some major chutzpah and ran this course in an unbelievable time, and I have seen him do some pretty unbelievable stuff, but this was just unbelievablerer than ever!  Congrats to "The Katz", who still needs a quality moniker.  Did you ever know that your my hero?  You'll always be my bodyguard.
Congrats to our many finishers!  Five in the 40's for Fells is fi-nomenal!  Thirteen 32's is th-ensational.  It was also a great day for a long run.  Be proud!
It was great to see old friends as well as meet new ones!  I am sure we will all run into each other at races or on the trails.  Be sure to wear the exact same outfit every time to maximize the chance of being recognized.  Do not, I repeat, do not wear regular clothes around runners ever unless you want to be 100% incognito.
Thanks to our able and hard-working volunteers, Bill Howard, and the gentleman who will be running the WS100 whose name I incompetantly lost.  Speaking of incompetance, thanks also to Chris Martin.
If you did not received a finisher's award, and would like to have one, please e-mail your address to and I will send it out to your hot little hand ASAP.  BTW, my wife made them, and if you don't like them, you really want to keep that to yourself.  Never anger us fat and jolly types.(1)
I have just decided that since I was out on the course for the longest, I win first place in the "Damn you're slow" category.  Being the RD, I also win the "Lame RD who runs his own race" award.  While I'm at it, I also want an award for having the highest percentage bodyfat.  Man, I am making out like a bandit today!  Score!
Thanks to everyone for their thanks.  I appreciate your enthusiasm and good-natured attitudes about getting lost.  I really enjoy directing this race (don't listen to my wife, who tells blatant untruths about how I "constantly whine like a pack of wussy puppies" about the amount of work I put into making this thing happen.  Let's tune in to "reality FM" here, my dear.  In all actuality I cannot sound like more than two or three puppies, tops.  She is something else, I tell you).
Remember that this race is all about the runners, and that you are the runners, and that therefore the race is all about you. (2)  Thanks for coming out, thanks for running, and thanks for supplying me with enough food to finally finish stocking my fallout shelter.  When the bomb drops and the world goes to hell I will be there in fatigues, eating gels and baked goods, and possibly whining to my wife.  It's what I do.
I am quite sure I am forgetting to say something or other here, such as the fact that I will be posting pics and a longer write-up ASAP.  I just wish I could remember what it was that I wanted to say.  Hmm.  This requires careful study and much thought.
Hope to see you in the Fall (unless you have had enough, in which case, I understand and do not take it personally.  The Fells is a harsh mistress (like, whips and chains kind of harsh.  Some like it, some don't, but all are glad that they can check it off their bucket list.  Personally, I liked it so much, I bought the company)).
(1) Note: my wife is neither fat nor jolly.
(2) Simple Deductive Syllogism.
BTW, there is a "Fells Trail Ultra" group on Facebook.  Join it if you wish.  While you are there, join the "Trail Animals Running Club" and become a TARC member!  It's free, and is well worth the price.

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