Companionship with addicted and mentally ill

NOTES from small group session, Sept. 22, 2016:

Presented by Dana Peterson, Deputy Administer, Shelter Care and Benjamin Brubaker, White Bird Clinic

How core human values cut across barriers of suffering to provide healing. 

Common Human Needs: The Value Base for Outreach

• To be treated as an individual 

• To express feelings

• To get sympathetic responses to problems 

• To be recognized as a person of worth

• To not be judged

• To make one's own choices and decisions To keep secrets about oneself

• To develop companionship with addicted or mentally ill people : Main tool is ourselves

You can't control the outcome, just your part of the process

• What you bring to the situation is your history, negative or positive, possibly overreacting or being more compassionate. How are you in the moment?

• Know your boundaries

• What is your familiarity with the person?

• Can you respect the person despite their behavior?

• In a crisis, alcohol or drugs, step back from the situation. They won't remember what you said anyway and it may be unsafe. Call 911 if it is an emergency

• What does your body language say? All behavior is communication

People will forget the exact words but will remember how they feel in the interaction

• Use empathy.

• Be a person who understands their emotion.

• Land mines: 

  • "I know how you feel"

  • "I'm sorry" ( pity)

  • "I understand " ( you don't )

• Effective listening says empathy. When they feel scared, anxious, or afraid : "what can I do for you, what can I do to make you feel safe?"

• Ask open ended questions. 

• Validate their feelings and address the emotion.

• Keep it simple, don't open a can of worms.

• Avoid arguments

• Use " I" statements , " I would like for you to calm down"

• Speak with integrity

• Be available if you can

• Don't make assumptions

• Don't take it personally

HAVE FUN and TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN PHYSICAL and MENTAL WELL- BEING