How I Met Kalishnu

I never told you how I met Kalishnu? I thought everyone knew that story. We'd never have become friends, you know, being so different. elf and gnome, mage and priest—totally different circles!

Well, if you really want to know, I'll tell you the whole thing. It was such a silly business. Embarrassing, really. But let me start at the beginning.

For weeks I had been closeted in my workroom in Ironforge, lost in the study of arcana and concocting new potions. I was hot on the trail of a new formulation and hadn't been sleeping much, but I was determined not to give up until I got it just right.

I was on my way to Barim's place to pick up some reagents, and perhaps a snort of Badlands bourbon at Stonefire, when I passed a mage I hadn't noticed before standing by the auction house under a banner: "Come Visit the Darkmoon Faire!"

All of a sudden I realized I was stressed, exhausted and starting to smell like moldy potpourri. I needed a break. Several of my friends had encouraged me to visit the Faire. They had told me of the carnival, the boardwalk, and what good sport it was to fish in the island waters. More than one had mentioned that a gnome of stunning beauty worked on the midway. As I stood there staring up at the banner, it seemed to me that a seaside holiday might be just what I needed. I also recalled that I was still single.

The Darkmoon mage was very tall. Human, don't you know. She assured me that she was an experienced teleportologist and could send me to the Faire with no dimensional disorientation. I was skeptical. Although at that time I was just beginning my study of portal magic, I had learned about the transdimensional stresses of a portal interface and their potential effect on sentient entities.

I had never before left Dun Morogh. The only journey I had ever made was when we all fled Gnomeregan and took refuge with the Dwarves. Don't look at me like that! It's true. I fly around on a dragon these days, and 'port most anywhere on a whim, but back then I was afraid of heights and too scared to climb up on a strider. I was a little nervous at the thought of Having an Adventure, but I really did need to get away and I figured the transit couldn't be any worse than "ultrasafe," if you know what I mean.

"I'll be right back!" I said, and dashed home. I had no idea what to wear, there being no beaches in Dun Morogh, but I wanted my Tiffany Cartier fishing rod and my Lure Master Tackle Box. I was in such a flurry of excitement! Denoram just stared at me, her tail erect and her eyes wide as I threw open drawers.

What? Oh, Denoram is my cat. What good is a wizard without a cat? I'm sure she thought I was possessed. Ha! Half of Ironforge thinks she's possessed. Mention her name to any guard and they'll start looking for a hole to bolt through. But I digress.

I hurried back to the auction house and told the mage I was ready. "Wonderful!" she exclaimed. "You're going to have a marvelous time, I promise. Now, there will be a small fee for this service …" Of course. I gave her some silvers and braced myself.

The next thing I knew, I wasn't in Ironforge anymore. I was standing before a space enclosed by a rail fence. Outside the fence were many trees of kinds I didn't recognize. A road passed quite close by, joined by another. A bustling human village stood at the crossroads. Many people of all kinds were appearing where I had arrived, and still more were climbing down from gryphons near the small smithy. Humans! Elves! Draenei! Most of them headed straight for the fenced area. I didn't quite know where I was—just that the air felt hot and heavy—but I did know exactly how a grain of wheat feels after it passes between two millstones. Hmph! So much for "no disorientation." I would learn to do better! Denoram gave me a look, as if to say, "What did we do that for?"

What's that? Oh, I can't leave her at home, you know. I tried once when I spent a day ice fishing out at Helm's Bed Lake. The Council of Three Hammers requested that I not do so again. The captain of the guard delivered the request in person. Now where was I?

Inside the fence were some brightly colored tents and even more brightly colored people doing very odd things. Breathing fire and tossing sharp knives in the air and catching them! I gaped. Was the Darkmoon Faire run by dragons? In the center of the space stood a large portal which seethed and crackled with arcane energies. To think I would soon learn to create such things!

My slack-jawed stupor was broken by a charming lass waiting by the opening in the fence. "Welcome to the Darkmoon Faire! Is this your first time visiting us? I'm happy to answer any questions. Or just step through the portal there." I smiled shyly and stepped toward the portal. "You have a great day now!" she said with an answering smile as I crossed the interface.

This time there really was almost no sensation on transit. Very well done, I thought. I was again surrounded by woods, but these were of a very different character. Dark and eerie. The blue sky over the human village had been replaced by a stormy overcast. A gnome waited to offer complimentary mounts. His striders were twice as tall as either of us.

"I believe I'll walk," said I. "Suit yourself," he returned. "Just be sure to follow the signs and stay on the path. The wolves don't come near the path."

Wolves? I glanced warily about. The mount handler stifled a chuckle. "Be seeing you!"

I started down the sloping path toward the tents and lights I could just see far below me through the darkling woods. I didn't see or hear any wolves, but there were odd sounds emanating from the forest, and numerous eyes staring at me. Two of them were Denoram's. She had clearly decided that there's no place like home and was looking for something to shred. Mayhem tends to calm her. I hitched up my robe and pressed on.

My walk through the wood was uneventful and led me to the brightly lit entrance to the Faire. There was another greeter, a grey Forsaken woman—I had never seen one of Sylvanas's people, but she couldn't be anything else. She seemed as well fitted to greet those arriving through the dark forest as the cheery gnome lassie had been to welcome arrivals at the portal. I showed her the voucher I had received from the mage in Ironforge and she pointed down the crowded midway.

"Dark Lady watch over you!" the greeter said as I followed her direction. I wasn't quite sure that this wasn't a curse, so I murmured a quick cantrip, just in case.

I passed a goblin selling tokens for the games and an orc woman who offered me a large padded hammer. I saw a tauren in the area behind her using a similar hammer to whack stuffed gnolls that popped up from barrels. The game looked like fun, but I had just seen something far more interesting.

Just past the gnoll game was a large cannon! "Transportation to the other end of the Faire!" This was uttered by the most delectable creature I had ever laid eyes on. Miss Maxima Blastenheimer. I was smitten—no priest could do a better job. She smiled at me. Suddenly I was flying higher than any cannonball had ever flown.

"Let me fly you to the boardwalk, handsome!" I offered my voucher. She giggled. "No, you need a token. But you want to take that voucher to Gelvas Grimegate. You'll find him a bit further down the midway on this side."

"I'll be back in a minute," I stammered.

"Very well, then!" The cannoneer offered another explosive smile as I set off.

The carnival midway was jammed with fairegoers and carnies. Such an amazing variety of sights and sounds and smells! I had never experienced anything like it. Everywhere you looked there was some tempting treat or a souvenir or another game to play. It did not take me long to find the booth with a goblin offering prizes. "Mr. Grimegate?" I inquired. "I got what you need!" he announced, seizing my voucher and handing me a small book. "A Darkmoon Adventurer's Guide! Essential in all your travels. You don't know what you've been missing, but you'll soon find out if you read that book and carry it with you."

"Thank you very much," I said.

"There's more!" he exclaimed, handing me a sheaf of tickets. "You can save those and redeem them for valuable prizes. You can have this for just one ticket!" He offered me a tiny purple box. It looked like a little snuffbox. Then he opened it. The inside was cavernous. It looked big enough to hold everything in my backpack! I'm a sucker for clever magics like that. "Sold!" I said, handing back one of the tickets.

"Play all the games and you'll get tickets from each one. Then you can get all sorts of prizes! Now go. Go! Go have fun!"

I hurried back to the cannon. I offered a ticket to the gnome of my dreams. "No, no," she giggled. "You need a token. From the booth by the entrance." I smiled sheepishly and trotted over to the booth where a goblin was selling small purses.

"Aha! A potential customer!" Her eyes gleamed as she rubbed her hands in anticipation. I bought the biggest sack of tokens and rushed back to the cannon.

I presented a token to Miss Blastenheimer with a flourish. "Launch me!" I cried. She attached a pair of folding wings to my shoulders and showed me a cord. "Pull it before you reach the target, but NOT until you're over water! We're not responsible for casualties, but services at the healing tent are complimentary should you need them."

I climbed up the stairs to the cannon's mouth, carrying Denoram. She struggled to get away, but I held on tight and stuffed her into my robe. I used to carry her in my pocket when she was a kitten. She began to wail and threatened me with the Wrath of Doom.

Miss Blastenheimer held a long taper. "I hope these wings work," I told her. "I haven't quite mastered that Slow Fall spell."

"Hmm, interesting," she remarked, and touched flame to fuse.

With a deafening explosion, I shot into the sky over the Faire. I could see the entire midway and the boardwalk! The Great Sea! I had never imagined anything so vast! My ears rang as the wind rushed over me, rustling my wings. I could see the target I needed to hit to win a prize. As I began to pass over the boardwalk, I took one hand off Denoram and reached for the release cord.

Denoram instantly clawed her way up and out of my robe. I grabbed at her, but my finger was looped in the release and all at once, my cat escaped and plummeted toward the beach—and I followed her as my wings left me. I couldn't remember the Slow Fall spell. I closed my eyes.

I landed on something and then rolled onto the sand. I saw nothing but stars and felt nothing but pain. I heard Denoram yowling.

"This is hardly the conventional method of seeking an introduction," said a deep and melodious voice. I tried to sit up and immediately gave it up as pain blossomed in every part of me. Denoram pushed her face against my cheek, purring frantically.

"Do not move. I shall heal you." A green glow surrounded me and my pain ebbed. I could feel things moving from wrong places to right places.

I tried again to sit up. This time it worked. I found myself looking at a tall elf. Kaldorei, he was. He cast a healing spell on Denoram. Then on himself. I could see deep scratches on his face and hands fading, and I knew where he'd gotten them. I managed to stand.

"I'm so sorry," I offered.

"Evidently," he replied dryly. Then he laughed. I laughed with him. It was so ridiculous.

"Drozil, at your service," I said with a proper Gnomeregan bow.

"I am Kalishnu," said the elf. "Forgive me, but I should prefer to dispense with such services as you have offered this afternoon." He gestured to the fractured fishing pole lying at his feet.

We looked at each other again and started laughing. And laughing. I think Denoram might have laughed, too.

And that's how I met Kalishnu. We've been the best of friends ever since. We meet at Faire almost every month for some fishing and to catch up. I've visited him in Dolanaar, and he's been to see me in Ironforge. We have a lot in common, despite how different we are. And we both enjoy watching people's reaction when they see us together.

Come to Faire next month! Look for us along the shore under the boardwalk. We'll be fishing. Or maybe I'll be chatting with a certain cannoneer.