Remembrances of Fried de Metz Herman

Dear Friends,

We are saddened to learn that Fried has died. We grieve together, those of us who are part of Country Dancers of Westchester along with all those in the far wider community of English country dancers. It feels to me like an era has passed. Personally I was always touched by Fried's indomitable spirit and the heartfelt passion that she brought to teaching dance and to choreographing dances that have brought us untold pleasure. Her spirit will always be among us as we go forward. We at CDW will be planning a memorial for Fried where we can all express our appreciation for the life she lived among us.

Sadly,

Carolyn Klinger, President CDW

Fried was SO instrumental in my development as an English country dancer. I already had the ENJOYMENT of dance when I met Fried. She helped me learn STYLING, how to dance to different tempos, etc. I remember when I first met her. It was at Hudson Guild, fall of 1985. I had been doing ECD for not quite one year. Fried somehow just UNDERSTOOD how much I enjoyed ECD!! I always appreciated her comments and observations. She missed NOTHING!, eg: She noticed me taking 2 (rather than 3) steps to the measure for "Randolph Farewell." I explained that I thought the tempo was too fast, and could only manage 2 steps/measure. She thought it was an effective and appropriate solution! I loved her suggestions/teaching on footwork. I finally learned the difference in 3/4 vs. 3/2 time in terms of dancing, how to do up a double, etc. Her teachings will never leave me. They all make so much sense. She was so much fun! And I'll never forget the Potters' Porch where we first did The First Lady. I had no idea she was writing a dance for me! Her Lenox dance weekend was a favorite of mine for many years. I enjoyed really getting my teeth into some of her most challenging dances--she really could only do them in that setting. Of course, it was an advantage to have danced most of them previously at Potter's Porch. She will be sorely missed. But what a legacy she has left us!

Roselle Schultz Macdonald

We all know that Fried’s great passion was dancing and she worked from the heart to promote its continuation with quality and creativity. She leaves behind a legacy of beautiful dances and tunes and a cadre of dancers who happily received her very special training. The best way we can honor her is to dance – and dance well and joyfully!

Ruth Caley

I first encountered Fried at the Eastbourne Folk Festival, I think in 1994 or maybe '93. She and Al came into the main hall and sat by the doorway. I had no idea who this diminutive couple where but I had an instinct who it was. Everytime I looked in the direction of the doorway whilst dancing Fried seemed to be looking in my direction and talking to Al, occasionally pointing. I got slightly paranoid. I went on to several other workshops and dances that Fried did on that tour but the most memorable was at Rugeley. She did a longways dance that at one point required everybody to stand with their right shoulder to the centre of their foursome. In her usual manner she insisted that it was shoulder to shoulder and that we should be close. There was a little banter among my foursome about my height so I ducked slightly so that shoulders were close. Fried immediately said "Graham; that is your name. How do I know that?". There was a mild chastisement from her but I never did find out how she came to know my name.

Another very memorable occasion was when I came to the States for Christmas one year. When Fried knew I was coming she had the Potter's Porch group meet on the Christmas Eve, when they would not have normally met. At supper I had a chance to have a nice conversation with her. One of the dances we did was "The Human Race". Fried used this dance in her masterclass the following summer at Pinewoods English Week. The second workshop I was getting a little irritated that, despite being a masterclass, people could not see the development of the choreography and it seemed to be taking for ever to walk through. Fried seemed to notice my irritation and loudly announced over the microphone that I had already done the dance at the Potter's. I had no recollection of doing it.

I am calling this Saturday in Exeter and already had The Wood Duck on my list. I may take the opportunity to call the Introduction as well, as a tribute.

Regards,

Graham Knight

Fried had four successful visits to England when she taught English Country Dance at a number of festivals and other events all over the country. She will be remembered for her precise teaching and for demanding a high standard of performance from the dancers. On each occasion she brought with her a number of her newest dance compositions. Many of these were innovative and challenging and continue to be enjoyed by the dance community in the U. K.

Robert & Hazel Moir

But there is so much she has left for us to remember her by, and for those of us who met her, so much of her that we will never forget.

Trevor Monson

My thoughts kept returning to Fried all day yesterday. I knew she had been ill for a long time; it is still hard to imagine that she is gone. She had a larger-than-life personality, someone with great spirit, strongly held opinions, and a great love of dance, dance music, and the people involved in dance. I am grateful to have known her for so long. I cherish my memories of Fried, and of her warm-hearted husband Al. I, and CDSS, will miss her greatly.

Brad

Brad Foster, Executive & Artistic Director

Country Dance and Song Society

We all knew this was coming, Susan, but it's still hard to get the news. I taught Measured Obsession in my experienced ECD class at Winter Dance Week in Brasstown last month, and called The Wood Duck as the final dance of the week in my English for all class, sending both dances out with good wishes to her.

She was a presence, wasn't she? ;-) We're all so much richer for having known her.

I didn't go to a Fried dance for many years, having been terrified by the stories I heard of her manner at the microphone, singling out dancers for criticism when they didn't meet her high standards. Finally, once when I was in NYC, I summoned up my courage and headed down to the Village on a Tuesday night. I was determined to be on my best behavior, no fooling around, paying careful attention. She had her idiosyncracies, to be sure, but I learned a LOT that evening, and that gave me the courage to apply for a Fried-For-All coming up, which was another wonderful experience.

I came to believe that she saved her critical remarks for people she felt weren't taking the dances seriously enough. We often joke, "It's only a dance," but for Fried, a dance wasn't something one trifled with! She had a clear vision of what she wanted in a dance and from dancers, and while she sometimes struggled with finding an effective way to communicate that vision, it was clear that there was a high standard toward which she pushed us all.

Fast forward a few years to when you, Susan, invited me to call for the Westchester dance. We met beforehand, and over supper you made a passing comment that indicated that Fried would be on hand that night as I made my calling debut at CDW. Aagh! She's going to be there? I thought she'd stay home!

"No," you said. "She'll want to check you out as a caller at her local series." I wanted to head back to the car and drive home to New Hampshire.

We didn't, of course, and at the break that evening, with no visible disasters in the first half, Fried came up and introduced herself. "Have we met?" she asked. I reminded her that after the Fried-For-All we were part of a small group's conversation but of course there was no way she'd be able to remember one person out of many. We chatted a bit, and that was that. The rest of the evening went well.

A few months later, we were at the next Fried-For-All, and upon arriving I went up to the stage to say hello and pay my respects. From a distance, she recognized me and called out a cheery "Hello, David!"

If I'd died immediately afterwards, I think I would have been happy. I raced back to Sheila: "Fried recognized me! She smiled at me!"

Hugs to you, Susan, with the loss of your longtime colleague and an inspiring Force of Nature in our dance community.

David Millstone

Missing a master tutor and friend . . .

Indeed, there has been much written here that reflects the image and characteristics of Fried DeMetz Herman. It seems that we have all known aspects of her essence: her exacting teaching style, her unvarying request to dance to the best of one's ability, the somewhat seemingly insensitive way she had of correcting a particular dancer, or figure on the floor, her deep commitment to the art of English Country Dance, etc. The list goes on and on.

Yet among all these traits of a master craftsman, there was Fried the individual. The true essence of Fried was seen when her eyes would light up at the sight of a friend...a smile that would cross her lips by seeing token gifts of chocolate anonymously left...a quick rejoinder or ironic remark during a lively conversation. The frank, sensitive, exacting, loving, incurable perfectionist, nurturer, friend, companion and dancer will be sorely missed.

Those of us who had the fortune of crossing her path, have been lifted in ways that we are yet to understand. Those who did not, rise upon the wings of what she has left for us here. Thank you, Fried. Keep those who have gone before dancing in good form . . . and when our paths cross once again, I hope you will have saved me a dance or two.

Kurk Davidson

In 2002 when Paul & I had been dancing for c.18 months, a number of Amherst dancers and leaders encouraged us to attend the Fried-for-All. Of course, we had heard all the stories about Fried's fierce temper and public humiliations, but having come so recently from the Renaissance dance world (with its share of grandes dames), we were emotionally prepared.

We managed to make it through the challenges of the Friday night dance somehow (without being noticed by Fried), and with as much self-confidence as we could muster, Paul & I proceeded down to breakfast the next morning. At Walker House there was one common breakfast table, at which sat Fried and Al! They had had a horrible night in a room without heat. Wide-eyed, we listened as they described their tale. We were struck almost immediately by the fact that Fried had a wicked sense of humor-and she even laughed at herself! The twinkle in her eye was, in fact, irresistible--and contrary to everything we had heard. I knew I wanted to work with her as much as possible.

Fried became my dance mentor, leaving an indelible mark on my style. I do strive to dance as though she is watching, because she cared. I loved that she cared how we were dancing. She thought nothing of giving style points in the Ladies Room.

Fried was an irrepressible flirt, truly the "Queen of Romance." Romance was at the core of both her teaching and choreographies. She understood, like no one else, that the quality of one's interactions with one's partner (and others) is the essence of English country dance.

I've missed Fried a lot in recent months, and will miss her especially this Ease & Elegance weekend. I consider myself fortunate to have had so many opportunities to work with her, and am grateful for the exquisite dances that she has left for us, which we can now do in her memory...with long arms.

But Susan, you asked for memories. I have, yet another, priceless quote. When Fried didn't show up at the Westchester Ball last year, some of us went to see her the next day. No doubt you often heard her say that she didn't actually "write" her dances, and she was speaking about this again. To emphasize her point she added, "I don't write dances, I write poetry. It just comes out wrong!"

Marcelle Lipke

Fried will be justifiably celebrated for her choreography, and her deep commitment to style, fully engaging with the dancers around you, and good technique. Her workshops gave those of us with a passion for good technique a chance to thicken our skins as we sought to improve under the scrutiny of her determined, 'old school' teaching and obfuscatory calling. Only Fried would consistently try to teach style points and dance technique while simultaneously challenging us to master her most complicated, un-intuitive dances. As one dancer joked after a long session, "My feet *and* my brains hurt."

Once, Fried was calling her nearly impossible dance "Fifty-Fifty." A veteran dancer cut her hand on my belt buckle as we struggled to squeak past each other in almost no time and even less space. No serious harm was done, but a good bit of blood flowed! Fried inspired many dancers to try really hard. Some of us literally gave blood under her tutelage. She could be harsh and inconsiderate to be sure, but there are few callers who inspire such a level of effort around technique, and the world is a little poorer for the passing of such a tiny giant of a lady.

Peace be with you, Fried!

Paul Lipke

We only had the pleasure of knowing Fried for the last 10 years. Thus we never knew her as a dancer, but only as a wonderful choreographer and teacher. I loved Fried's workshops. It was style extraordinaire over and over. She could see the most minute moves that really changed a dance, and dancer, into something beautiful. I remember one 'Fried For All' where one of her dances seemed lovely to me. But she saw an unnecessary 'lag' and added a set - or something similar - and the dance became so much more. She harped on the little things and I liked it. I needed it.

I'm so so sorry we won't be with you all at the Fried Memorial this Sunday. Instead we were already committed to our Montreal English Country Dance on that day. I thought a lot about getting out of it and traveling down to the New York City area. But I'm not sure Fried would even have wanted that. Instead we will celebrate her life on the dance floor Friday in Plattsburgh and Sunday in Montreal.

Love to you Fried, always

Wendy Gilchrist & Bruce Kokernot

Linda Wolfe on Fried Herman:

Fried Herman was arguably the greatest living English dance choreographer and the reason she had this reputation was that her dances didn't consist merely of clever geometrical patterns skillfully set to music, as did the dances of lesser choreographers, but of flowing intricate movements that could make a dance seem almost to have a soul. Years and years ago (and I do mean years and years), I had the great good fortune to study dance with Martha Graham. Not since those days did I encounter a choreographer -- except for Fried -- for whom the creation of a dance was an act not of mind but of spirit.

Nor did I encounter one as demanding. I remember a time when Martha Graham once punched a student in the stomach because he had allowed that unsightly organ to pooch out. Fried didn't punch. But she was every bit as serious -- she wanted her dancers to look good. And no wonder. After all, they were moving to her steps, her vision.

In 2002 at a Fried-for-All in Lenox, Fried introduced a trove of exquisite new dances, among them Satisfaction, The Treasure, Mark of Distinction and A Very Shadow, dances that soon proceeded to become classics. I’d no idea what dances she’d written for the 2003 Fried-for-All, which I planned to attend. But I’d have given you even money that a goodly number of them would become hits, and that the dancers who came after us would still be doing them in 2053.

Linda