Reciprocity

Establishing Reciprocity

Reciprocity and Joint Attention are closely related skills. When there is reciprocity between two people, they are intentionally interacting in a back and forth manner. For example, when you call your child and your child responds by looking at you or saying "What?" this is an example of reciprocity. When your child requests a teddy and you respond by providing that toy, this is an example of reciprocity. The reciprocal interaction can be extended into several exchanges as when

  1. your child comes to you crying

  2. you say, "AW, HONEY, WHAT HAPPENED?"

  3. your child points to his bleeding knee

  4. you go and get a band aid

  5. your child grabs your hand before you try to wash his knee

  6. you say, "Daddy will be careful!"

  7. your child asks "Be careful?"

  8. you say "I will be very, very, very careful"

  9. your child asks "Go doctor?"

  10. you say "Pretend daddy is a doctor"

  11. you pour some pretend liquid into a pretend glass

  12. your child watches what you are doing carefully

  13. you say,"this is knee medicine"

  14. your child takes the pretend glass from you and pretends to drink it

  15. your child grins at you

  16. you grin back.

It is Hard to Establish Joint Attention & Reciprocity

In the early days of working with a youngster who has any form of autism, I am still surprised sometimes by how hard it is to establish reciprocity. I use every trick I know and just get one back and forth interaction during the whole session. However, is we (the parents or teachers and I) persist, showing the child little routines that are delightful and short (just one back and forth) then pretty soon, we hit upon the right combination and the child jumps in to play a game. It is like winning a jackpot!

There are also moments when a child, quite unexpectedly, looks straight at me and I feel that our emotions are aligned. The child may not be speaking but still knows I am there. He or she either likes or does not like what I am doing at that moment and communicates this clearly and intentionally with just a look. At that point, we are not only sharing attention, we are in a reciprocal interaction, because I have been waiting for this moment and I respond. I am often surprised when a parent or teacher asks the child for more, even though the child has clearly communicated with a meaningful look or sound. Reciprocity is the goal, not the word "please" or any word at all. If a child is not able to be reciprocal with ease, then any form of reciprocity is GREAT. If you, as a parent or teacher, notice moments of shared attention, communication has truly begun and celebrate this. A child repeating what an adult tells the child to say, even if is the right word or phrase, is not great reciprocity. A moment of genuine social interaction is when the child is communicating in any way what he or she feels, thinks, wants, does not want. Those moments are golden!